He was sitting all alone by the bar in his own restaurant. All of his staff has left and there was no one left to give him comfort. Only empty bottles of alcohol gave the company he desperately needed.
His face was hot and red. Blood was rushing to his ears. And his eyes were severely swollen from long hours of crying. He's not just simply tipsy but rather awfully drunk and he has consumed almost half of the beers in the stall. His hands haven't stop shaking for minutes now.
Gary straightened himself up as well as his thoughts. But every time he goes through his mind, all he can see was Miranda – how he felt her arms surprisingly wrapping him tenderly from his back while he was working and showed her beautiful – very beautiful- smile that made his heart sing. Oh, the taste of her lips still lingers on his! He could still feel her fingers stroking his strands of hair when they finally kissed at her flat. The way their lips danced gracefully like a butterfly made their both hearts jump. He could still feel Miranda's heart beating closely to his chest. For many, many long years he longed to closely feel and touch and hold her. Not in "we're just friends" kind of way but to finally answer the desperation to have her. And there was Mike, down on one knee, already proposing in the middle of his restaurant. He has lost count on the times he imagined punching him for coming back. But when he opens his eyes, Gary sees himself giving him a very good knock on his own face. He would if he could. He hated that Mike came back. He hated that he hated Mike for coming back for Miranda. He hated that he proposed to Miranda. But most of all, he hated dreadfully hated himself. He was so scared to hurt her or even make her unhappy. He was already on the brink with her yet he let her slipped from his arms. He actually wanted to say those 3 little words that have been hanging on the tips of his tongue since the day he fell in love with Miranda when they were still at uni.
"But no…. I'm a good for nothing, lame arse, scared for commitments coward! But Mike wasn't! He bloody wasn't! He was there, ready, even with a bloody ring, proposing to Miranda. He could summon up a wedding right there and then if he wanted in the middle of this blasted restaurant for goodness' sake!" A bottle fell and rolled to the floor and hit a table's leg. He chased it, walking with his tired legs. As he arched down to pick it up, he found himself unable to bring himself up. Too drunk? No. Too tired? No. Too broken?Yes. He sat and leaned on the side of the back with his weak knees forming an angle. Everything around him seemed turning and his eyes persistently blinked. Yes, he was broken to pieces, deeply hurt, soul been stabbed for thousand of times or however the novels described it. He was in pain. Gary started banging his head on the wall of the bar and cursed himself loudly but everything inside him was still too much for him to handle alone. He clasped his eyes firmly with his sweaty palms. In the brief darkness, he could still hear Miranda's answer to both of their questions.
"Just say yes!" Penny shouted.
"To whom?!"
"It doesn't matter!" But whatever Penny was saying, this greatly mattered to her. For a brief moment, Miranda was drop dead silent. All eyes were on her. Two proposals (well, that made Mum happy, didn't it?) from the one who loves her and from the one that she has been in love with ever since.
"Gary." By her call, Gary quickly stood up and smiled shyly to her.
"Yes, Miranda?"
Miranda turned her eyes down to Mike.
"Mike?"
"Yes, Quirky?" said her sweet Marple.
"Yes, Marple, I will marry you."
Gary's jaws dropped and it was as if the heavens smashed him.
"WHAT?!" a little shriek voice came out from the corner. Miranda just gave Stevie a very sharp look. Before anyone could react, Mike rose up and took Miranda to his arms and hugged her.
"Oh, Quirky! You just made me so happy. Oh, dear." He pulled out the ring form the box and took Miranda's hand. As Mike gently and carefully placed the ring to her finger, Miranda could still see Gary by the corner of her eyes.
Mike gave a very wide smile and cupped Miranda's face with both of his hands.
"Oh, Miranda…" His hands traveled to her shoulders and smoothened the sides of her arms until, finally their fingers intertwined. Miranda glanced to Gary quickly and met with his eyes. She saw tears forming on their corners but brave up to hold those back. Mike caress to the back of her hands brought her attention back to him. He started to close the gap between his fiancée and played with the ring he just placed on her finger, took a deep breath and met with her brown eyes.
"Miranda, I promise, I'll take good care of you. I promise to always make you happy and I'll always be there for you whenever you need me. I'll give you anything and everything you need." He stopped, seemed got choked between words. Miranda was just absently listening, didn't even know what to say or should feel. "…. Wow. We only just got engaged but I feel like I'm already making my vows! Sorry." Mike's voice was so sweet; Miranda couldn't bear to break it. ".. All I'm saying is that, Miranda, my Quirky, I love you, I really do." As he said those words, he claimed her lips as his and Miranda was caught off-guarded.
Although Gary has seen Miranda kissed few guys – Danny, Gary Barlow and few (very, very few) from uni, and hell, even when she and Mike kissed during that dinner party- this one was too much for him to hold. It felt that he could do some drowning. Everything around him went blur. Things just can't sink in to his mind so he searched for shelter back to his bar. It was too painful for him. He couldn't bear to watch Miranda kissing Mike again. Those lips of hers were finally his for him to own just minutes ago but now, Mike has them to claim.
When Mike broke the kiss, Miranda finally urged to break her silence.
"G—" she gulped and stopped herself. "Mike.. I.. um, I. lo- " Miranda panicked and struggled to get those words out of her mouth. For a moment, she didn't know what to do and her eyes wandered continuously from Mike and to Gary and back to Mike. Fortunately, Stevie's grip saved her.
"Miranda, a moment. Please?"
"Yeah, sure."
"I'll contact the local church; see if we can push a wedding. OH hoh! Such fun!" And Penny rushed out.
"I need to leave. Xavier's calling me. Oh. Sorry. I really don't want to leave my new fiancée alone… But I'll come back later okay? Will make up to you, promise. Dinner?" Mike was all cheerful and Miranda just doesn't want to ruin it. Instead, she nodded mindlessly. "Okay, I'll go and give Dad a call on the way and tell him our news. See you later then? Bye, Quirky." He squeezed her hand softly and gave her a kiss on her cold cheek. "Love you, Miranda." He said before leaving the restaurant.
Stevie pulled Miranda to the corner of the restaurant.
"What was that all about?"
"Erm. I just… got… engaged? You should be happy for me, Stevie not angry."
"Miranda—what—I just. What are you doing? I thought we've sorted things out. You, finally realized who makes your heart skip, remember? What was that?
"I made a choice that was it. I just thought choosing Mike would make this easy, you know." There was a crack forming from Miranda's voice.
"Have you thought of this properly?"
"I guess. Well, when Mike proposed, actually, I supposed. Oh, Stevie. I really don't know what to feel or say or do. All I know that saying yes to Mike would make these things easier. And it made Mum happy, right?"
"Yeah. - But it wouldn't make you that happy, yes?"
" I'm just too hurt, Stevie. Just, please be happy? For me?"
"Oh, dear. Come here." Stevie reached up to give Miranda hug. "You'll be alright. I'm here if you need me, okay? If that's what you think, then I'm on your back." She said to her ear and felt a nod from Miranda.
"Thanks, Stevie."
"Love-oo"
"Love-oo, too. Once Stevie released her from her embrace, Miranda looked at Gary and found her already looking at her. Confusion, fear and anguish were written all over his face. But most of it was pain.
Miranda was on the bed in her dark room, was still widely awake. She stares blankly to the walls of her room and observed how the streetlights flickered. She tried to fall asleep; she kept of turning to her sides, even tried to bury her face down to her pillow but found it difficult to breathe. It's been weeks now since she had her last full rest. In the morning, her mum would come by to talk about wedding plans. In the afternoon she does her shifts in the joke shop. And when night time comes, well, she'll mostly spend it thinking about that one twisted afternoon in her flat and then on the restaurant. There have been times when she dreams. "What if I hadn't gone to the restaurant? What if I hadn't planned of going to Wick? What if I hadn't confessed to Gary? What if I hadn't met Mike?"
A loud banging on her door brought her to life. She got up, angry, and went to answer it. Shocked, she saw Gary standing on her doorsteps – a hand leaning on the edge of the wall of balance and the other holding an empty bottle. He was heavily sweating and the smell of alcohol was all over his body.
"Gary? What on earth are you doing here? It's 2 in the morning." She was still holding the door open for him.
"I don't know." His voice was deep and coarse.
"You're completely drunk. You should go home. I'll call you a taxi for you, okay?"
"No, I don't need it."
"Well, you're too drunk. I'll make you some tea then." Concern dominated Miranda.
"No, I don't want that."
"What do you want then? Wa—"
"Miranda-" he stepped forward and went inside Miranda's flat, slightly bumping her. "I just want y—" Before he could say it, Gary collapsed, landing on Miranda's arms and dropping the bottle he was holding.
Miranda struggled to carry Gary. All of his weight shifted towards her and his legs weren't working well enough for him either.
"Oh, dear. Uhm.. Erm…" He could hear Gary's groan in her ear. His head was resting on her shoulder and his arms were all limpy. "Uhm, sofa? No. Bathroom? Why? Oh, okay,erm." She slowly pulled Gary to her bedroom. She grew nervous and unsure if it was the right thing to do this time. Things have been complicated between them lately. But she didn't care. Gary needed her.
Finally, she found her bed in the middle of her dark room. Carefully, she carried him with her every walks but her legs hit the edge of the cushion and she fell flatly, carrying Gary with her.
"Oh, God, Gary. Can't believe you're this heavy! Ugh!" She slowly disembarked Gary away from her and pushed him to the center of the bed with her full force.
Miranda moved to the end of the bed and removed Gary's shoes. She could still hear him groan and talking carelessly. She went back to the edge and started to fumble on his shirt. As she found them, she started to unbutton and revealed good amount of Gary's skin. She gulped at the sight of his masculinity. Of course, she admits that she had made quite few of fantasies about bringing Gary to her bedroom and undressing him on her own. But everything in front of her was overshadowed with worry for Gary Preston.
"Gary… What the hell popped up from you mind?"
For a brief moment, she went out and hurriedly came back with a towel soaked in warm water. She let the lights unopened, not wanting to wake him up from his sleep. Gently, Miranda wiped the sweat and liquor off from his body with the towel. She run it through his forehead, to his cheeks and then to his bare chest. Momentarily, she feels her fingers brush his free skin.
"Gary.. Why did you do this?"
When she turned her back and placed the towel to the side table, she felt a hand holding her wrist.
"Stay." A drowsy voice called and swallowed. "Stay, Miranda. Stay with me, please." It sounded more of a begging than a request. His hand slipped to her hand and locked his fingers with hers.
"Miranda…." She turned to him and her eyes met with his. "Please. Just… stay with me." A tear rolled out when he closed his eyes and drowse off.
She hated it. She hated this heavy silence. She'd do all just to get rid of this. But this time, it was inevitable. She was out of words to talk. Only Gary's deep breathing and her drumming heart were the music she heard.
Without a thought made, Miranda found herself under the duvet. Again she stared her ceilings blankly. Darkness was the only thing she saw. She could feel Gary's thumb brushing her palm under the sheets. It felt right…Fully proper.