Jane awoke at the back of the closet, her head resting against the small fridge. She groaned and sat up, putting her head in her hands as she tried to breathe. She found though, that with each breath, she let tears fall. Damn it. Of all the things she hated most about this, the blackouts were definitely the worst. It was chunks of her life, missing. Gone. She finally lifted her head to survey the tiny room. The only thing that looked different was a note taped haphazardly to the door next to the keypad. Jane forced herself to stand, stumbling to the door and ripping the note down as she slid to the floor once again.

Jane,

I can't live like this. Please. I'm going insane. Well, I guess you are too, but still. Let me out. Can't we make some kind of agreement? You tell me what you want and I'll tell you what I want. I need a compromise here. If I live the rest of my days in ten square feet of dark space, I think I might make us both mad. I know my track record isn't that great, but it's worth it to breathe fresh air.

Signed,

Your better half

P.S. could you maybe give me a name? I'm finding it more and more difficult to come up with something ironically witty.

Jane grimaced. She searched blindly for the pen and pad of paper in the dark, setting it in her lap as she started to write.

Fine. This is a truce. I have ground rules. You do nothing illegal. You do, I'll turn myself in. No exceptions. That way we're both stuck. You stay away from 8am-8pm Monday through Friday. If something happens where you show up during that time, it's like a debt. You give me time from your time. Got it? Do not hurt my family or friends. If they see you out, you make nice and pretend to be me. And for fuck's sake, don't get me pregnant. If I think of anything else, I'll tell you.

I've put some thought into this for a while. I'm buying a tracking device and a recorder. You have something to tell me, record it. I'll do the same. And you can track all my movements, same with me. I'll track yours.

Write me your requests and we'll come up with something more official. And go by Vanessa. I've always been a fan of the Little Mermaid.

Loathing you more every day,

Jane

She dropped the pen to the floor, rereading the note. She hated this. She wished she was crazy, wished she had a split personality. But she'd discovered that wasn't the case. There was actually someone else in her body. Someone else. She wasn't someone before, she just…appeared. In her. Why couldn't she just've been crazy?

Checking her watch, she groaned. Already 7 am. She typed in the key code and waited for the lock to disengage, before rushing out to her bedroom. She hopped around undressing and redressing as quickly as she could, running into the kitchen to shovel food in her mouth. So lost in her own world, she yelped when her phone buzzed, but quickly recovering to answer it.

"Rizzoli…What do you mean where was I? Sleeping. Did you…call? Oh. Yeah sure, where's the location? Oh. You already left? Sorry. Yeah, I'll be there in a minute."

Hanging up she cursed Vanessa, though the woman could not hear.

At the station, she ran to the bullpen to find Cavanaugh sitting on her desk. She slowed her run to a dead stop, her eyes narrowing as she inspected him.

"Your late," he said simply.

"Sorry sir."

"Go get caught up."

"Uhh…You can't do that?"

"I could, but it's just easier for Dr. Isles to, since she's already got new info."

Jane swallowed. She hadn't had to visit Maura since…well since this all started.

"I, umm….can I maybe not?"

"Look, Rizzoli, whatever happened between you two is not my problem. You work together. That's just how it goes."

Jane tried not to look terrified as she nodded and turned toward the elevators. Just focus, Jane, focus. She kneaded her palms, closing her eyes. Oh how she longed for a cup of coffee, or aspirin, but no. Drugs made her feel weak recently, as if they made….it, or her, stronger. So she refrained, passing by the café and into the elevators.

Maura was working quietly, efficiently, in the solitude of the morgue. She found that without Jane's usual interruptions, she got everything done quicker. She jumped at the sound of the door creaking, looking up to see Jane, quite literally, one foot out the door. It was as if she was using the steel to put a physical barrier between them. Maura just looked down dejectedly back to the body.

"Detective," she said curtly.

"C'mon Maur," Jane protested. "I meant what I said."

She was met with a cold silence that made her chest tighten with guilt.

"Hey," she said more gently.

Maura's tearing eyes shot up. It was as if she'd heard the old Jane'ss voice. The old Jane that would die before she hurt her. The Jane that loved her.

"I'm sorry," Jane said even quieter, "I've…I've been going through some things…Some really weird, really scary things. And I wish to God I could lean on you, ask for your help. But I can't. Don't you ever think it's because I don't want to..."

She took a deep breath, closing her eyes. Maura studied her; she looked broken, defeated by something.

"I need you, Maur. I don't wanna lose you."

"I won't—"

"Don't promise me something you can't give," Jane cut her off sharply.

"I will always be your friend."

"God I hope you're right," Jane murmured.

"What?"

"Nevermind."

"Jane, what is this about?" Maura blurted in exasperation, taking a step toward the detective.

Jane cowered away, hiding even more behind the door.

"Nothing. Just…fill me in on the case," she mumbled harshly.

Maura's brow furrowed. What in the hell was going on? She didn't fight Jane, though, explaining the case without looking at her. The more she talked, the calmer Jane seemed to get, but Maura didn't dare press her luck, keeping still, staying behind the autopsy table. When she had finished, Jane had almost stepped all the way into the room. Their eyes finally locked in the painful silence. Maura gave a sad smile.

"I miss you, Jane."

Pain flashed in Jane's eyes; she looked torn. Maura saw the gears turning in Jane's head as the detective considered whether or not to approach her. Whether or not to let her in.

"I…I miss you too," Jane breathed before dashing away down the hall.

She felt her heart pounding; just being close to Maura made her head spin. She ran to the bathroom, clutching at the counter, trying to ground herself. She counted her breaths, desperate to keep in control. Her shaking hands dug through her pockets, retrieving the crumpled note she'd written from earlier. With an unsteady hand she managed to scrawl at the bottom: Stay away from Maura.

Her head collapsed against the counter as a powerful wave of pain coursed through her.

She let out a dry sob as she gripped the counter, pressing her forehead to the cool granite as she waited for the pain to subside or the world to go dark. But as the minutes dragged on, she felt her strength returning, felt the pain dwindle. She took in a deep, shaky breath, letting it out slowly, counting to ten until her lungs held no more air.

She straightened up, only to catch a glimpse of herself in the mirror. She sniffled, roughly wiping at the corners of her eyes to dry the stray tears that had escaped.

You're stronger than this, Jane. Man up and face it.

A knocking on the door startled her back to the world.

"Jane?" Frost's voice drifted in from the hall.

"Yeah?" she asked, clearing her throat.

"You okay?"
"Mhm," she dismissed, throwing the door open and walking briskly past him.

His eyes narrowed as he looked after Jane's fleeing figure, but he was quick to start up after her.

"Ya seem off, Jane."

"Yup. Thanks for noticing."

"C'mon," he cut in more sharply, pulling her to a stop, his hand gripping her upper arm tightly. "Whatever it is, Jane, it's hurting you. Please."

She wanted to tell him everything was okay.

Instead, she pulled from his hold roughly, continuing her path down the hall.

"Let's just catch this guy, alright?" she muttered.

She kept her back to him, unable to bear seeing the hurt in his eyes, knowing she'd caused it. All of it. She hurt Maura, Korsak, Frost….Frankie, Angela. She was so busy fighting against this other person, she didn't even see that she was doing as much damage as Vanessa could've.

The thought frightened her, but it was the shove she needed. She kept her anger in check the rest of the day, forcing smiles here and there. What she could not force herself to do, though, was visit Maura. She skipped out of the office as soon as 5 hit, speeding home and locking herself once again in the closet, hopefully for the last night, not like she remembered it.

In the morning, her note was once again taped to the door, one new sentence scribbled on it.

I only have one condition: don't look for a cure. -Vanessa