Absence: Chapter Two

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach.

A/N: Thank you to all the reviewers and people who favorite my fic! Virtual cookies to you all ;D

Ichigo woke up, startled, at precisely half past seven when his alarm clock went off with an annoying buzz. Groping around for the snooze button, he sat up yawning, noting two important things: he was still on the bed and his wife wasn't. Maybe to a normal person in an ordinary marriage, these two points of contention would be perfectly fine, but they had Ichigo confused. After the state he'd left Rukia in the night before, he had been fully prepared to wake up after being shoved into the bedside table. Secondly, pregnancy had turned Rukia into one of the latest sleepers Ichigo had ever met. She had been known to spend over fourteen hours in bed at a time, and Ichigo often came home to find her asleep on the couch.

Ichigo got up, slightly perturbed but in no way worried, and checked the one room Rukia would venture out of bed for so early in the morning—the bathroom—but the door was three-fourths open and the light was off. Ichigo went on to search the rest of their apartment, from the smallish nursery (well, nursery-in-making) to the kitchenette, growing slightly puzzled as he found no sign of his errant wife. He tried calling her name, even though that was a bad idea, considering that she was likely still incredibly angry, but no forthcoming sarcastic remark reached his ears. After he had been through every room, he ended up at the front door and noted that her shoes were missing. He made a little noise through his mouth at that discovery—where on earth would Rukia go to before eight in the morning?—before he saw something glinting in the weak sunlight shuttering through one of the windows. He picked it up and turned it over in his fingers. It seemed to be a very small rabbit charm, similar to the one that usually hung from Rukia's cell phone.

Something clicked in Ichigo's mind and he allowed himself a second of dumbfounded surprise before he charged across the room, looking for his backpack. He had obtained a Hollow-detecting phone around the same time that it became unfeasible for Rukia to continue following him everywhere. Usually, he only needed it during class, where he would put it in silent mode and prop it on his desk. He pulled the phone out and flipped it open, searching through for the option that would allow him to look at the last fifteen Hollow alerts that the phone had received. It was right on top of the list—a Hollow at 5:11 in the morning, in his territory.

"You idiot," he said to himself as his stomach knotted with anxiety. "You just had to tell her she couldn't fight one on her own." He was out of the apartment in two minutes, barely giving himself enough time to change out of his pajamas. Taking the stairs three at a time, he flew past Mrs. 301, causing her to drop her eggs.

"Hey! Just what do you think you're doing?" she yelled at his back, but he was already gone, taking the same route that Rukia had likely taken earlier that morning when she decided to fight a Hollow alone in a vain attempt to prove him wrong. Ichigo nearly ran into no less than seven people on his way to the intersection that his phone said the Hollow had appeared, and when he arrived there, he found no indication that anything spiritual had happened there at all. He turned in a circle, deaf to all the grumblings he was causing in his fellow pedestrians, but he found nothing. No hollow, no unexplained damage, nothing that would tell him what exactly had happened in the two hours it had been since Rukia had left their apartment. Kicking a bush in anger, he tried to gather his thoughts to come up with a cohesive plan, the din of the children playing behind him mixing into one, all-encompassing mass of noise until a clear voice rang through the air.

"Mommy! Look what I found!" a little girl was crying, and Ichigo turned around and looked at her. She was maybe four and was in the process of showing her mother a shoe.

"Yuki, put that down," her mother scolded as Ichigo walked closer to them. "You don't know where it's been."

"Okay, Mommy." The girl dropped the shoe with barely a second glance and dashed over to the sandbox. Ichigo stooped and picked it up, running his index finger along the sole. He recognized it, of course, as being one of the pair of shoes that was currently missing from his apartment—the right shoe that Rukia had likely slipped on when she left that morning. He looked around for another sign that she'd been there—a scrap of her dress or maybe the left shoe—but he couldn't find anything, not even after he'd asked the little girl where she'd found it. After a fruitless search that took the better part of a half an hour, Ichigo gave up and decided to look somewhere else in the hope that Rukia had defeated the Hollow and then gone to visit someone rather than go home. As occupied as his mind was, the trip back to his father's clinic, which usually took anywhere from ten to fifteen minutes, seemed like it took seconds. He entered without a knock and deftly avoided his father's aerial attack.

"Very good, Ichigo," his father said, his voice muffled by the pieces of plywood that had fallen on his head when he'd sailed into the wall. "You're still not skilled enough to beat me, but you're getting there!" He struggled out of the hole in the wall and then brushed his shirt off. "But what are you doing here? You weren't supposed to come in until this afternoon, I thought?"

"Rukia," Ichigo said. "Have you seen her?"

"No, she hasn't been by." Isshin's eyes narrowed. "You haven't been making her angry, have you? How do expect my grandchild to enter this world unharmed if you keep making Rukia mad?"

"Yuzu," Ichigo muttered, taking off down the hall.

"Ichigo!" his father yelled after him. "You upset Rukia one more time, and I'll have to do something about it!"

Ichigo shuffled quickly through the hallway to get to the kitchen, his father ranting behind him. As soon he passed through the doorway, he stopped, causing Isshin to run into his back.

"Yuzu," Ichigo said, "have you seen Rukia?"

"No-o," Yuzu said, pulling her chopsticks out of her mouth. "Not since last week."

"God, have you made her angry again?" Karin asked, her eyes not leaving her manga. Ichigo's stomach twisted itself into a more complicated knot.

"If you see her, tell her to call me!" he said over his shoulder, running out of the house in such a way that Isshin ended up sprawled over a table. In an attempt to find her, Ichigo tried every place he could think of, but to no avail.

(She's not supposed to come into work until tomorrow," Uryuu said quietly.)

With every step he took, Ichigo could feel his panic growing, churning, clawing up his throat until he could scream because of it.

("A Hollow? I can't believe that she would let herself be defeated so easily. Should I have Abarai-san come by, Kurosaki-san? I could send Yoruichi for him." Urahara's brow furrowed. "I'm sure she's okay.")

The sun was setting, and Ichigo stared at it, his heart pounding erratically. He'd spent the entire day running around town, skipping his classes and work with his father, to try and find her.

("Lose your wife, Kurosaki?" Ishida scoffed. "Maybe you should keep better track of her.")

He took the apartment steps wearily, hoping that she'd come home. Looking through his pockets and finding that he was missing his keys, Ichigo groaned and pounded his fist against the wood of the door. "What else could go wrong today?" he said to himself, trying the doorknob just to be sure. It twisted easily in his hand.

("Rukia's missing?" Orihime shrieked, grasping Ichigo's forearms. "Oh, but I'm sure it's fine! She'll be okay! I'll help you look for her!")

"Rukia!" Ichigo called loudly. "Rukia, are you here?" The apartment was empty and dark, and Ichigo ran through every room before he realized she wasn't home and came to the conclusion that he'd simply forgotten to lock the door before leaving.

("No," Chad said blankly. "Haven't seen her.")

Ichigo went out onto the small balcony, his hands trembling slightly. "RUKIA!" he screamed, his voice lost in the wind.

The oppressiveness of Hueco Mundo made it hard for Rukia to do anything but sleep. And dream.

The sky was pale blue, with a few wisps of clouds in the distance, Rukia noted through the window. She fiddled with the sash on her dress, earning a slight slap from Yuzu.

"Stop fussing," she chided lightly.

"It's just—" Rukia started, the words dying on her lips. She wanted to put into words the anxious happiness she was feeling but could find nothing suitable to describe it. Settling for letting her shoe slip off her foot, she suppressed a wince when Yuzu pulled a little too hard on her hair.

"I'm so glad you let me do a Western-style wedding," Yuzu gushed as she twisted a small white flower into the hair behind Rukia's ear. "You look so pretty in that dress—Ichigo'll probably fall over when he sees you." Rukia looked down at herself, and sighed quietly; she didn't think she looked any different than usual. Yuzu had dressed her in an odd, frilly, white dress embroidered with tiny clear beads. Twisting her ring around her finger (an engagement ring, they'd called it) and resisted the urge to play with the ruffles on her skirt.

"All done," Yuzu said cheerfully. "Here, look!" Rukia took the handheld mirror from Yuzu and examined her reflection. Yuzu had attached some gauzy material to her head, trailing behind the row of flowers that were now delicately attached to her scalp. Rukia's hair seemed more…flippy than usual, which she wasn't sure she entirely cared for, but ah, well.

"Good?" Yuzu said.

"Yes," Rukia said, "it's fine."

"It's almost time," Yuzu said.

Karin snorted behind them. "Dad's having a fit as it is. The sooner this is over, the better."

"Karin! Don't say that! It's a wedding. Our brother's wedding! You should be excited."

"I am excited," Karin said. "Excited for it to be over."

"Karin!"

"Can we go out now?" Rukia interrupted, feeling slightly queasy from the nerves. Yuzu checked the wall clock and then shrugged.

"It's a little early, but I bet Ichigo will be relieved. I don't think he's happy in that suit I made him wear." Rukia wanted to laugh at the elaborate, fancy event that was a modern 

wedding, but she thought that opening her mouth would be a bad thing at this point. Yuzu took her hand and pulled her to the back door, outside of which a tent had been erected and then filled copiously with flowers. She couldn't see Ichigo from her current position, and that did nothing to soothe her anticipation.

"I'll let them know we're ready," Yuzu chirped. "Then I'm first, just like we practiced last night. Are you sure that you don't want your brother to walk you down the aisle."

"No," Rukia said firmly. If she let Byakuya-nii-sama any closer to Ichigo than the audience, she wasn't sure he'd be able to resist the temptation to draw his zanpaktou. Yuzu flitted out of the back door and was back too soon for Rukia's liking.

"Okay," she said, smiling. "Me first, then Karin, and then you, when the music starts. You ready?"

"Yes," Rukia said quietly. She watched as Yuzu left, then Karin, her heart pounding in her throat. As the quiet strain of the violin signaled her entrance, she took a deep breath, squared her shoulders, and then stepped outside, praying that she didn't trip on her dress. The sun was warm on her head and everyone was staring at her, but she didn't notice anything besides Ichigo. As soon as she stepped into his line of vision, his brown eyes, soft and warm, met hers, and she knew nothing else. Vaguely, she remembered saying vows, hearing the Western priest speak about love and duty, and then Ichigo had lifted the veil from her face and was kissing her sweetly.

Ichigo found that it was easier not to think of her when he kept his mind busy. He studied, he never let his mind wander in class, he kept his full attention on every patient his father delegated to him, and he read while he ate. During his day, he kept all thoughts of her firmly locked away in his mind as he completed each new task with a numb indifference. Nights were the worst. While he waited for sleep, nothing would keep her from his mind. Memories of her eyes, her smile, the way she spoke to him—they would multiply until he was curled into a ball, eyes screwed shut against it all. He hadn't cried for her, and he didn't think he would. This pain was too deep for tears, so he gathered his sorrow until it festered, tearing a ragged hole in his chest.

After three days, he had lost all hope that she was alive. There was still no trace of her, and Yoruichi had returned from the Soul Society with no news. Rukia (he tried not to use her name, because whenever he heard it or even thought it, the hole in his chest would rip a little wider) had not been seen by Orihime, Chad, Ishida, Urahara, or anyone in the Soul Society since the night before her disappearance. When Yoruichi returned with the news, she looked at Ichigo with sad eyes.

"When souls are eaten by Hollows," Yoruichi said slowly, "they return as new Hollows. But don't give up hope. Rukia's strong. I'm sure she's somewhere."

"If she's still alive," Ichigo replied deadly, "why hasn't she come home yet?" The thought that he might inadvertently kill a Hollow that had once been his wife made Ichigo sick to his stomach. When he thought of Rukia as a Hollow, he thought of his mother, lying on the embankment.

"We haven't found a body yet," Yoruichi remonstrated Ichigo. "We have no proof that a Hollow did anything with her. And there's nothing that suggests she's been taken to Hueco Mundo, right?"

"No," Ichigo said quietly, quashing the small feeling of hope that had sprung in his stomach before he began to believe that things were okay when, in reality, they weren't.

"I'm going to go back and see if I can't get some of the captains to return and help look for her," Yoruichi said, walking out the door. "You and Renji can start without us." Ichigo endured a full five hours of combing the city with Renji, who spent most of the time in an apoplectic rage, ranting at Ichigo, before Yoruichi returned. With her were Byakuya, Hitsugaya, and Soi Fong.

"I should have known not to trust her with you," Byakuya said lowly. He drew his zanpaktou, fixing Ichigo with a black glare. "Your failure has cost me my little sister."

Hitsugaya stepped in between Ichigo and Byakuya. "You're not helping the situation, Kuchiki-taicho."

Ignoring the interference, Byakuya's eyes never left Ichigo's face. "If we cannot find her, I will make sure to make you pay for your inadequacy."

The search continued for several fruitless hours until defeat was conceded. Only through the combined efforts of Soi Fong, Hitsugaya, Yoruichi, and Urahara was Ichigo able to escape being chopped into millions of pieces by Byakuya's zanpaktou. Even now, he was unsure that it would've been such a bad way to go.

Time passed slowly as Ichigo's life continued as always. There were still exams to be taken and patients to be seen at his father's clinic. His phone still rang, albeit less frequently, with Hollow alerts, and he still fought them. Whenever a new one surfaced, he would scrutinize it, searching for any hints of his wife. He never found any.

"—and you're just sitting here, looking at these stupid books." Ichigo looked up slowly at Renji, who was pacing the kitchen, his face red. These days, Renji had become one of Ichigo's most frequent visitors and spent every minute telling Ichigo how he'd failed.

Renji turned suddenly and fixed Ichigo with a stony gaze. "Have you heard anything I've said?"

No, Ichigo thought, but he averted his eyes with a sigh and responded, "How couldn't I? You've been talking for a half hour straight."

This response was apparently too flippant for Renji's nerves to handle. Visibly trembling with anger, Renji slammed his fist against the wall. "You don't care what happened to her, do you?" he snarled. "It's been over a week, and I haven't seen you get angry or upset or anything. You didn't deserve her. She died because you were too stupid to keep her safe."

Renji's words twisted their way into Ichigo's stomach like knives. Shoving himself away from the table, Ichigo barely heard the floor clatter to the ground before he crossed the apartment with startling speed, given he was still in his corporeal body. His fist slammed into Renji's face hard enough that he heard the sickening crunch of cartilage beneath his fingers. Renji, who had clearly not expected to be punched, let out a strangled yell of pain.

"Don't you ever," Ichigo said through clenched teeth, "don't you ever say anything like that again. You have no idea how I feel."

"You asshole," Renji swore thickly, trying to staunch the blood flow from his mouth.

Ichigo slammed him against the wall. "I can't deal with you right now," he said. "Get out." He let go of Renji's shoulders and took three steps backwards, suppressing the urge to launch at Renji.

"I won't forget this," Renji said, dripping blood on the floor as he left, but his threat didn't register with Ichigo.

"Just go."

The rain was pattering softly on the window, and Rukia was sitting at the table stirring a small bowl full of onion, teriyaki chicken, and something called maple syrup that she'd found in the American section of the grocery store. Taking a bite, she made a little noise of delight at the taste when the front door opened.

"I'm home," Ichigo greeted.

Rukia tried to say something along the lines of "finally" but there was too much food in her mouth for it to come out intelligibly.

He approached the table and looked into her bowl. "What are you eating?" he asked, wrinkling his nose. He picked up the bottle of syrup, looked at it, and then looked at her food again. "Did you put this on your chicken?"

Rukia swallowed. "Yes," she said, narrowing her eyes. "What's so wrong about that?"

"This," Ichigo stressed, "is maple syrup. It's pure sugar."

"I don't care what it is," Rukia said stubbornly. "It's good."

"I can't believe you put it on chicken. That's disgusting."

"Then don't eat it."

"Did you eat half of this bottle today?" Ichigo asked, looking through the clear plastic to gauge how much was left.

"Inoue came over for lunch," Rukia said defensively. "She brought something for me to try."

"Let me get this straight," Ichigo said. "Inoue came over with food and you ate it? You actually put this on it, ate it, and enjoyed it?"

Rukia scowled. "It was good. I don't know why I never liked her cooking before." Ichigo stared at her dumbfounded for a couple of seconds before he reached into a plastic bag that he'd set down on the table. For some reason, he turned bright red as he pushed a small box towards her.

"Maybe you should take this," he said slowly.

"Mm? What is it?" Rukia picked it up and felt herself flush. "A pregnancy test? But I'm not—what makes you think…?"

"You're eating things like that and liking it," Ichigo said. "You've been vomiting in the morning—"

"It's just this stupid gigai," Rukia interrupted. "You know how easily it gets sick."

"And your, um," Ichigo's eyes strayed to her chest. "They've gotten bigger."

"They have not, you pervert," Rukia said, crossing her arms, suddenly self-conscious.

"Look, it doesn't hurt to just take it," Ichigo said.

"How does it work?" Rukia asked as she pulled a thin plastic stick out of the box. Ichigo shifted uncomfortably in his chair and Rukia unfolded the piece of paper that came with the test, slowly reading the instructions. "You want me to pee on this?" she said slowly. "Really? I pee on this stick and it's supposed to tell if I'm pregnant or not?" Rukia squirmed with embarrassment. "What kind of idiotic test is this? Do they even work?"

"Yes, they do," Ichigo said testily.

"This is stupid," Rukia said. "I'm not pregnant." Nevertheless, she walked to the bathroom and closed the door behind her. It took a little maneuvering on her part, but two minutes later she came out, holding the stick as far away from her body as possible. "How long does it take?" she asked.
"A couple of minutes." She gave it to him, and he set it down on the table.

"We eat here," she said but made no motion to move it. Ichigo pulled out his phone and began to play with it; Rukia used her chopsticks to mash her food into an unintelligible mess.

"It's ready," Ichigo said, a minute or two later, and Rukia looked up. He picked it up, looked at it for a second, and then handed it to her. It took Rukia much longer than Ichigo to fully comprehend the digital screen. She stared at the little "pregnant" for so long that when she closed her eyes, she could almost see it engraved on her eyelids. She pushed away from the table and walked over to stand by the sink. Ichigo was massaging his temples.

Rukia didn't know what to say or how to externalize her thoughts, so she ended up saying nothing at all. She watched the people scurry around under the umbrellas, placing a hand on her stomach. A baby. The possibility had never even entered her head; the thought that she was going to become a mother was so overwhelming, she almost felt as though she was drowning.

Ichigo came up behind her, wrapping his arms lightly around her waist. "It'll be okay," he said.

"Of course it will. Idiot," she scoffed, leaning into his chest.

END CHAPTER