Here we go!

It was the traditional gathering of Champions. Every year, all the Champions would get together and celebrate the victories and the very rare defeats. They all took turns in whose house the party would be in. This year it was Wallace and he had gone all out. He had imported liquor from all around the world, thanks to his connections. The Champions were all veteran drinkers, but a few of shots of Russian vodka and they were staggering around the room like teenagers. This was probably a good thing; they had all developed rather introverted personalities, to keep the paparazzi from snooping. Now they were confessing secrets to each other like it was nothing.

Cynthia was sprawled on the couch, wine glass in hand, shouting about how poor her love life was and how every man was too intimidated by her. She then proceeded to tell how she dealt with all that sexual frustration, but no one was listening anyway. Lance was then swooning about how much he loved his capes to which Wallace was listening eagerly. Alder was passed out on the floor and Steven was pulling the diamonds out of his wristwatch and examining them. Jasper had wandered over to the karaoke machine and turned it up full blast. The noise woke Alder and grabbed everyone's attention. They all began to take turns with singing at the top of their lungs. It was around 3am when Lance decided to take his convertible for a spin. They all hopped in and were roaring down Ever Grande Boulevard when they were pulled over by a very angry Officer Jenny. Lance's vehicle was impounded and the Champions were brought into the police station. Fortunately, there were no paparazzi around otherwise they would have had a field day.

They spent the night in a cell, waking up to a massive hangover. They were called for questioning which merely angered Officer Jenny further. Lance attempted to flirt his way out but then threw up all over her, Steven burst into tears at the sight of his million dollar watch; Wallace tried to be a goody two shoes but ended up telling her how he had slept with a prostitute many years ago. Cynthia was too embarrassed to say anything whereas as Alder tried to climb out through a window. So her wrath fell upon Jasper, who went home utterly speechless. Reaching his house, his phone rang. Still in shock, Jasper answered. Many days later, Jasper berated himself for not paying attention.

"Hello?"

"Hello, my name is Delia Ketchum, could I please speak to the Champion Matchmaker?"

"Speaking. I have a massive hangover so please make this quick."

"Oh, I'm sorry, I can call back another time if you want…"

"No, no, it's fine. What can I do for you?"

"Well, it's my son, you see. He's almost 16 and he hasn't found a girlfriend yet, I'm a little worried."

"That's quite common, but something tells me that's not the whole problem. Ok, I'm going to be blunt here, but what is his preference?"

"Preference?"

"Yeah, sexual preference. Is it guys? Girls? Both?"

"I haven't spoken to him about it, but I'm quite sure he's straight."

"Fine, so what's stopping him?"

"He's rather dense, he doesn't know when a girl is flirting with him or anything."

"Most teenage boys are like that, we lack the skills to notice things. What about his friends? What about their relationships?"

"Well, his one of his friends is a hopeless romantic, he falls in love with every pretty girl he meets."

"Sounds like the perfect role model. Anyone else?"

"He has a friend who is a Pokémon Connoisseur…"

"Next."

"Well, another friend works as an assistant to Professor Oak and he draws Pokémon."

"So, he's a nerd and a pervert artist."

"No, no, no! You're not really helping."

"Calm down madam, I'm just finding out as much as I can. What about girls?"

"He's friends with Misty, the Cerulean Gym Leader. They fight at lot, over the most trivial things. There's also May, she's a Coordinator, and he taught her everything he knows about Pokémon. There's Dawn, another Coordinator, they're pretty close. And there's Iris, they constantly call each other kids and things."

"I see. So he's quite popular?"

"Yes, he has other friends but they're his closest."

"Alright, what's your son's name and where do you live?"

"My son's name is Ash and we live in Pallet Town."

"Excellent. I'll be there tomorrow."

"Really? You'll help? Oh, thank you so much."

"You're welcome. Have a nice day."

Jasper hung up before she could reply. Putting his head in hands, he tried to think. The boy the woman had described sounded familiar, but he couldn't think where from. He picked up the phone and dialled Lance's number.

"What?"

"Lance, sorry but have you heard of a kid named Ash…"

Jasper was interrupted by Lance dropping the phone to vomit loudly. He quickly ended the call and rang Steven. There was no reception, which meant he was in a cave or mountain somewhere. Despite having a hangover, he was already searching for stones. Jasper called Wallace, but was met by his answering machine. He decided against leaving a message, Wallace hated voicemail anyway. Weird guy.

Jace then dialled Alder's number.

"Jasper, oh thank Arceus! You've gotta help me!"

"Why, what's wrong?"

"I'm in jail!"

"Alder, we were just in jail not an hour ago. How did you get back in?"

"No, I never left! They were going through my records and found out that about that drug deal I did a couple of years ago! I need $10,000 bail! Please!"

Jasper hung up immediately. He then hesitantly called Cynthia, dreading the older woman's temper.

"Whoever the hell this is, it had better be good."

"Cynthia, it's me, Jasper."

"What do you want? I have the worst headache and I just threw up in my wardrobe."

"Ok, ok, just chillax. Do you know a kid named Ash Ketchum?"

"Yeah, I met him a few times. He's a good kid."

"Well, his mother called and wants me to intervene in his love life."

Cynthia started laughing. This went on for at least 5 minutes until it was interrupted by a loud retching and splattering.

"Son of a bitch, those were the shoes I bought in Castelia!"

"What the hell is so funny?"

"Oh my Arceus, you have to help Ash get a girlfriend! Good luck with that!"

"What are you talking about?"

There was no answer only more retching and splattering. Jasper quietly hung up. Grabbing a piece of paper he wrote down: Tomorrow, Delia Ketchum, Pallet Town.

He then went upstairs to the bathroom where he showered in the attempt to wash away the headache, if that was even possible. Pulling on some clean clothes, he walked back downstairs to the kitchen he poured himself a cup of coffee which he sipped cautiously. As soon as the liquid touched his tongue, Jasper felt bile rising up his throat and he turned and hurled noisily onto the sink. Discarding the coffee, Jasper went to the medicine cupboard and took out some Tylenol. He took a double dose and went to his bedroom where he collapsed onto the bed, his appointment for tomorrow completely forgotten.

And there you have it! R&R, my lovelies. Toodles!