Ivorygirl1990: Yeah. I kinda had to let you into Edward's head. Especially with how different this story might turn out to be. Plus that, now you're getting even more juicy details from Edwards mind! But I'll forewarn you, Edward is emo. :)

LadyLeya: I do hope you enjoy this story. And don't worry! I PROMISE you I will continue to post. I'm just as addicted to it as you are! lol!

acw1: I will definetly bring you more. And yeah, it is kinda sad. But, you'll never guess what will happen! You'll just have to read to find out! Who will be Bella's Knight in sparkling rainbows? Lol! ;)

A/N I'm warning you now that not ALL these chapters will be in Edwards POV. I'm doing this for a specific reason. So enjoy it while it lasts. I may bring him back in later chapters, but this is the last one for now. And I know that you are sorry that I took Edward away from you. But if you feel down and need cheering up, remember the words of our famous psychotic pixie-"Waste not, want not!" Warning, this chapter has character death in it. And it's kinda sad. But the next one will be better. So keep reading my loyal fans! lol!

I'd calmed Jasper down enough that he was actually able to hunt while Bella's "beloved" Carlisle laced the stitches that sealed up the gash in her arm. I envied the time spent between them and my thoughts were on what Bella would be doing or saying now. Whether she was touching him, discovering him, with her silky hands, or the gods forbid that she had explored his skin before and what they were currently doing was only a repeat. That much I couldn't take! If she had cheated on me...I shuddered. I wondered, as I couldn't stop my mind from drifting, if they were declaring their undying love for each other right at that moment. If I could have been crying, I would have. And I felt another piece of my heart break.

But than copioius amounts of shame thundered into me in several different waves as I realized; Bella was too innocent to seduce a married man. She was too innocent to have gone that far. In fact, they were probably just talking about his past, as she was so curious about everyone from my family. And Carlisle...had my jealousy really turned me mad? Carlisle was worse than I was about propriety. He would never "make a move", as my brothers called it, on Bella because he was married to Esme. And not just married, but madly in love. And despite what Carlisle felt for Bella being stronger, I knew she was too innocent and he too proper for anything to be happening.

And yet, the thoughts on the otherside of the fence argued back. Conjuring up images I never wanted to imagine. My sweet little Bella, acting the skank for Carlisle. On the operating table, the creamy skin of her backside showing just under a sinful amount of lacce and Carlisle pounded into her nakedly from behind...No! Carlisle cheating on Esme with Bella. Would they do it? Could they do it? Stop!

I had no answers and I felt like my mind was going to explode. Even for a vampire, these thoughts were too much. If only I was a mind reader who could control thoughts! That would make a world of difference. If only. And I dropped to the ground, no longer able to stand.

Because in the end, it all came down to control for me. It had to. I had to keep myself in control so I didn't hurt Bella. I had to keep myself in control so Bella wouldn't be scared. I had to keep myself in control for my family. I hated having to be in control. For once in my life, I'd like to slip out of it. Like a snake shedding it's skin, I wanted to shed my control. But if I shed my control right now, I would kill Bella and Carlisle both.

And than it hit me just why I loved Bella. She tempted my control. She tested me. She pushed me. She called to my more ambitious side and kept me distracted from a horrid truth. And for the first time, I began to question. Was I really Bella's mate?

My petty morbid thoughts continued in this war-like pattern for quite awhile. Though how long, I'd ceased to remember or count the time. I didn't want to. And I felt jealousy stab through me again. My thoughts were not exactly unnwarranted due to the situation, just unwanted. Unwanted because there was so much pain attached to them. If Carlisle was what Bella wanted, could I really give her up? Could I really share? Did I really want what was in her best interest, or was I scared because it was all about my control...all about me?

And even as I asked that question I could hear the monster within me growling. Mine!

The jealousy was hot. Hotter than that of a scorching change ever would be. Although, upon waking up to the jealousy, I didn't feel the burning flame in my throat. I felt it deep within the pit of my scorching heart. And I honestly didn't think it could get any worse. But I was wrong. Because than, I was forced to take Bella home, enduring Carlisle's sent on her. Another man's scent on the woman that was mine! I couldn't remember if I wanted to know or not what had happened between them. And another piece of my heart broke deep inside my hardened outer shell.

I was so deeply lost in my own thoughts that I forgot Bella was right there with me until she said "Remember how I decided that I wanted you to not ignore my birthday?"

"Yes." Of course I remembered, I'd been shocked that she hadn't stuck with her original descision as Bella was such a constant little thing. But I was happy none the less. And yet, I was also wary. She wanted something from me. And it looked like she wanted-No! Don't go there!

"Well, I was thinking, since it's still my birthday, that I'd like you to kiss me again."

I smirked. "You're greedy tonight." Wasn't she always?

She smiled lightly. "Yes, I am-but please, don't do anything you don't want to do."

I smirked. "Heaven forbid I should do anything I don't want to do."

And than I kissed her. It started out much the same as other kisses we shared. But I knew with the decision that I'd already made, there would be no more kissing Bella. But I needed Bella! But I couldn't have her. But I HAD to have her! But she wasn't mine. But she was mine! My head spun in confusion and a pain so deep that it lashed at my unbeating heart until I almost felt it beat again.

No, I realized. That's not my heart. My heart had ceased to beat long ago. And I realized what I was feeling. That's her heart. A heart that I will never be able to have. And that was when I lost my mind. Crushing her against me, I slipped my tongue into her mouth. Ambrosia.

But I quickly discovered what was happening and I pulled back, scared to hurt Bella with my passion. A passion that should never possess her. It wasn't right, I realized. "Sorry. That was out of line." I was embaressed and I hung my head low in shame, wondering how she could never forgive me.

"I don't mind."

I almost rolled my eyes. Of course she didn't. So after I distracted her with presents, tylenol, and sleep I made a descision.

I'd promised I'd stay till morning, but once I was sure she was deep in her slumber, I kissed her forehead one last time. This would truly be the last time that I could ever be with her again. And so I savored it. I took a moment to appreciate Bella for all that she was. The scars, the bruises, the faint invisible the human eyes bumps in her skin that show where she had broken her bones. I smiled, leaned over, and kissed her forehead.

"Try to sleep Bella."

"Edward."

My smile was nothing but a twisted sense of irony. And than I left without a backwards glace, not looking back. And I felt something deep inside me break. More than I had been breaking all night. And I dropped to my knees in Bella's front yard at the force of it and waited for it to pass. And than I shot up and ran, ignoring the tearing pain in my chest that came from the source of my cold dead heart.

I began thinking logically for the first time in a long time. I now remembered what it was like, the thing I had been before. And I knew that I would resort back to that once and for all and forevermore. Goodbye Bella.

I wasn't sure if Jasper needed help still or not but I knew they would all be out in the forest. So just incase I was needed, I ran to go help Jasper. But instead, I ended up having a very different intent. Instead, I was going to talk about what we were going to do next.

But I was delayed as soon as Jasper saw me. And at that moment I knew two things. One: he had most certainly hunted and Two: he couldn't have possibly been more grief stricken. I could tell by the way he stuttered, which Jasper never did.

"Edward, I'm sorry. I couldn't-I just didn't-I could smell-I'm sorry."

I nodded at him, unperturbed. He was already forgiven since what was done was done. I personally thought it was just time to move on from Forks and Bella.

I knew my reasons. This was no longer about Jasper. His attack on her was just icing on the cake. It was evidence that Bella was not safe with me. She'd been hunted, broken, and attacked by a vampire. And now I had to protect her from my family as well? And not just that by my families very nature? It was illogical.

And it was just too much for my mind to fathom. Why would I even want to put an innocent human in jeapordy? This wasn't even about Bella. This was just talking safety wise. It was too dangerous. And being protected from a coven of vampires twenty four seven was impossible.

It had already killed a part of me to watch Jasper being hauled out as he struggled against the desire to take my lo-Bella's blood. Don't slip up!

I followed my minds advice. I wouldn't slip up again. I would make sure my family understood that. But most of all, Jasper. Jasper hadn't slipped up. I had. And so really, my decision was in no way his fault. It was mine, and this was the price I had to pay. So be it.

"Everyone, take a seat on one of the rocks. It's time we all had a talk."

No one said anything. Not even Alice, although I could tell she was uncertain and nervous. But even she didn't know how this was going to turn out because so many things were uncertain. I could clearly read it in her mind.

And without having the powers of my empathic brother, I could still tell what each person was feeling. It ranged from emotions such as boredom to curiosity to nervousness. And it was odd for Alice to be so nervous. It showed by how unnaturally still she was. But than again, she partly knew what was coming. And I already knew that she wouldn't be pleased with the direction it was going in. I didn't blame her for being anxious.

I watched each of their faces as they waited for me to begin. And for a moment, I felt like our coven leader. I took a split second to reflect on my assumed leadership position for the moment. I was curious, was this how Carlisle felt? Being the leader? The one in power? Sitting here on the top rock, in Carlisle's spot, I realized what a big responsibility I was assuming to take the position of. I only hoped I could live up to my families expectations.

Now, how to approach this subject…

"Last year, Bella was attacked by a group of three vampires. Laurant, Victoria, and James. One of them very nearly turned her into a vampire himself. And therefore, in the process, made me have to suck the venom out, which almost killed Bella. Also, she had to deal with a broken leg after the attack and she had to have several blood transfusions because losing so much nearly killed her. This leads us to a very important issue, Bella's safety. I can't control myself. Jasper can't control himself. Bella is in danger from us and other vampires alike. Even none of you could control yourselves around her. I watched as you all tried to leave as discretely as possible. So admit it, Bella is not safe with us."

I found it odd that my voice was so even. I found it more odd that recognition mixed with fear lived in my family members eyes. Alice was the first to speak.

"But Edward, she would be safe if she was changed!"

But I didn't want her to be changed. So I decided to play the Rosalie card.

"Please hear me out. I know there are those of you who wish for her to join us. But really? Think about it. We'd only be taking Bella's human life away from her. She needs a chance to be human. So let's give her that chance. Let's give her the opportunity to be a human."

Rosalie actually smiled. "Ok. So when do you suggest we leave?"

I was almost angered at Rosalie's reaction. Don't slip up. But than I remember that she'd never liked Bella much anyway and that to her, Bella was just another insignificant human. And now she was finally getting away from her. So I tried not to blame her for her reaction. Plus, she wanted for all humans to be able to live a normal life. It was for her sake that we usually avoided humans. That was why she had been so angry with me. But I had a feeling me and Rosalie would be comrades now.

"We can all leave as soon as possible. Tomorrow even."

Jasper sighed sorrowfully. "Edward, are you sure this isn't just about me? I'm very sorry for what I did to Bella. You know that. But Edward, I think about are going a bit extreme."

His mate, of course, jumped in to back him up.

"I think so too! And Edward, just where do you think you would go? What do you think would happen to our family? We would either be forced to Alaska or forced to live only at night. And even than, it would be impossible for us all to live together. Think about it. If we all only came out at night as and lived together, they would think of us as a coven. And not a vampire coven, but a witches coven! I don't exactly want to die Edward."

"I know Alice. But think about it. You and Jasper could go to Texas. Rosalie and Emmett could finally get that vacation they wanted. Esme, you and Carlisle could renovate homes and he could still work as a doctor anywhere."

Esme's eyes held an extreme sorrow that I couldn't place and she looked at the psychic. "Alice, do you see this happening?"

Alice closed her eyes for a minute and than opened them, nodding her head in confirmation it would be so. But even she disagreed with my decision. Being a leader of this family was harder than I'd anticipated.

"Edward, Bella loves you and doing this to her would hurt her terribly. You can't!"

I wish Alice would stop crying. It annoyed me. "For the sake of protecting her, yes I can. And there's no need to worry. She will move on. She will forget. Just as all humans do eventually. And it will be beautiful because she will forget about us in the midst of her children, her grandchildren. She will live a normal happy healthy life. And isn't that exactly what we want for her?"

"Edward, we can't do this to her!" Alice would have been crying if it were possible. And I flinched for the first time that night at what I saw in her mind. Pain beyond pain. A zombie like state. My Bella was a zombie.

I saw Bella never moving on. But I knew as well as anyone that Alice's visions were subjective. And I forced myself to realize that she was only showing me these things to persuade myself to stay with Bella. But I couldn't accept that! At all. My mind was officially made up. And Alice knew it. The future wasn't changing. And I was no longer Bella's mate.

Alice had a vision of me living in Romania. I'd always liked Romania. But Alice was livid. Should I live in france instead?

"I don't care where you live! Just like you don't care! Because we aren't getting any say in this. I can see that now 'brother'."

"I have never asked anything from anyone in this family. I have never asked a favor until now. You ALL owe me. Especially you Alice. Think of all that I have done for you."

"But think of all that I have done for your Bella."

"She is no longer my Bella. She is just Isabella Swan. Just a name."

Alice looked like she was going to sob on me and than kill me. Or maybe I'd gotten the order wrong?

She nodded her head in defeat.

Esme looked like she was going to cry. "So we are all just going to pack up and leave Bella?"

"Yes."

"And we are all going to different places. I'm renovating, Carlisle's working, Alice and Jasper are in Texas, and Emmett and Rosalie are somewhere fixing cars. I'm just not sure I can do this. I can't be away from my family."

"Don't worry mom, we'll come to visit. We promise."

"But I would lose my precious Edward forever."

"I'm sorry mom. But this is something we have to do. There is no other option."

"I did not choose this life to have my own family break apart to pieces before my eyes! I will not stand for it! You are all my children and my family. And I refuse to let any of you walk away. We have never truly separated before and we won't separate now!"

I shook my head sorrowfully. "I'm sorry Esme."

"Than you have damned me to hell Edward! If I can't have a family here, than I want my REAL son back!"

With lightning fast speed, she took her lighter out of her ankle high boot, flicked it on, and set herself on fire faster than any of us could react. And far off in the distance, I heard the screams of my father as he shrieked for Esme. And on her final dying breathe, I heard it.

"Make her happy Carlisle."

And Esme was only a pile of smoking ash.

My family froze for a moment, utterly shocked. And than Carlisle, the strongest man who had ever lived, was brought down to his knees in a wail as Alice began to shriek. There wasn't one person that wasn't crying. Esme, our beautiful loving Esme, our mother, was gone. And even I, as lost as I was, as hard and cold as I was, fell to me knees, shaking. I'd just killed my mother. But her sacrifice wasn't for nothing. We would continue on as planned. And that made me cry harder.

A/N Yes, I know it's a sad chapter. But if you keep reading, I PROMISE you things will get better! You just have to wait and see! If I can get four reviews, I will post the next story. But as all good things must come to an end, so must Edwards POV. This next one will be in Bella's and maybe I'll add Carlisle in there! ;) Oo goody goody! Remember four reviews to get chapter three from me! :)