Behind his eyes he holds a set record of almost everything she's ever said to him and part of him always knows what she's going to say. As unpredictable as Emily Thorne is, the way she treats him is like clockwork. Sometimes he can see a sparkle in her smile and he knows it's bound to be something juicy but most of the time he knows he's going to be treated like her private lap dog.
He bites his tongue and knows if he bites down any harder then he's going to draw blood. He's felt the taste of copper in his mouth before but much prefers tea. He tries not to think about what happened last winter, getting chocked out by the White Haired Man but it begins to fester in his dreams and sooner or later, his insecurities and nightmares are going to bubble to the surface. He's grateful for this spring, his shoulders more steady and able to throw a punch but there's still something inside of him that knows he's next. Nolan Ross is fully aware that being connected to Emily Thorne will bring him trouble but he doesn't care. You only live once right?
"Yolo" he says to her as he sips a bloody mary in the foyer of her beach house. She raises her brow and he knows she is either amused or questioning his morning antics.
"Isn't it a little early for margaritaville?" she asks, the tone in her voice almost understanding of the need to drink in the am.
"Nightcaps, nooners, spiked coffee, it's all the same…" he says as he offers her some but when she gets a whiff under her nose she pulls back, almost nauseous from how much horseradish he added to his already strong drink.
She wants to go for a swim knowing she'll blink and it will be autumn again but everything is taking a toll on her lately and keeping her feet on land. She's afraid if she goes into the water; she'll just end up going under.
"So Ems, what happened to my girl this summer?" he asks as he munches on a celery straw that makes its home in his large glass.
"Your girl?" she asks, not even entertaining the thought.
"Mmm Ems, so tit for tat, just get on with the story will yah?" he demands rather than asks. He's being rhetorical and knows she'll spill sooner or later, especially because he can tell she's tired. The more tired she was, the more she was bound to screw up so he was going to try to help her sleep tonight.
"I went back to Satoshi Takeda to learn some more…valuable skills…" she says but is quickly cut off.
"You went back to him? Someone's feeling very risky business…" he sputters.
"I went back to him to try to unlock some memories about my mother," she states as she watches him finish his drink and she wonders how he kept it all down.
"You needed to go to your old Mr. Miyagi so you could remember your mother? I don't think a little wax on, wax off is really going to help at this point…" he says as he references the Karate Kid.
"I didn't ask for your advice Nolan, I'm just filling you in which is what you asked for. If you can't handle it and you have a sour stomach, then I suggest not asking next time," she says in a harsh tone, knocking his walls down.
"I know, I just thought after everything, he couldn't be trusted…" he purrs as he cocks his head to one side waiting for her reply, curious as to how she could open up to him again.
"It's complicated Nolan…" is all she can say, her face contorted into a strange little smile. That's all she is giving him about her spring break and no matter how much he prods, she won't tell him anymore.
"Don't you want to ask me how my spring break was?" he asks as he curls his tongue, leaning on the granite kitchen counter tops, his head almost hitting the cabinet.
"Not really," she answers, her voice sounding thick and non-complacent.
He ignores her request and carries on, loving to annoy her at a high quality. "I happened to attend a convention thrown in my honor…there was a boat load of canapé and I got to signed many an ample bosom…"
Emily rolls her eyes at him, clearly not amused, "How spirited…" she says in a sarcastic tone but deep down she is thinking about him wielding a pen as woman whip out their breasts to him like a satanic offering.
"Don't tell me you aren't interested!" he says as he listens to her tones and watches her facial expressions. He knew he was just icing the cake.
She looks at him like he's on thin ice but she knows he doesn't believe her, he sees right through her. Nolan Ross is the only one who can call her out on her bullshit because he knows her dirty little secrets, well some of them. Nolan is the one to speak up and act as her conscience when her emotions don't come into play as they should. He has enough emotions for the both of them as she learned to strip hers away and hide them away from the surface. She has tough skin but he manages to break through somehow. Maybe she feels such a connection to him because of how close he was with her father, or at least how he claimed to be.
The bisexual playboy billionaire was how people saw him on the outside but his closest friends knew he was a nerdy friendless little thing. He only made friends when Emily Thorne strolled into town, before that he was sinking in loneliness. With her presence he seemed to come out of his shell and turned into a person that people actually wanted to be around. Nolan always figured the reason his ex-boyfriend Lucas left was because he turned people away when he cast walls up around him. After his father would verbally assault him as a child though, he felt like he had to put up those walls to remain intact.
"I'm not…" she says with a pout on her face as she slinks back into the darkness of the house, finding a place basked by shadows. She doesn't want him to see her face because now she's thinking about him and his past and it's blending with hers. The two blondes have more in common than she once thought and the more she thinks about it, the more apparent it all is.
"So, have we got work to do Maestro?" he asks as he tries to fall into the shadows with her, shadow play most definitely.
Emily nods and walks to the little secretive storage spot built into the under part of the stairs, a place where Harry Potter would be if there was a crawlspace. She reaches into this new place, this fresh home for an old friend and pulls out her infinity box.
"Always"
The both of them feel as if a can of worms has been opened and it makes them feel on edge, even around each other they squirm and reach for words. Usually it's so easy but the time away from each other put a block on things. Before spring break they were hugging and protecting each other, now she can barely give him eye contact. He's losing hope.
He wonders what really happened to her for the time he was without her. Training for one, but what else?
She sits with her hands at the back of her head as if she's been cuffed by the police lying on her stomach. Her head falls into her hands as she rests her body on the couch, Nolan next to her once more. This sitting on the couch together thing, it's almost becoming a ritual. Nolan holds his laptop in his lap killing the sperm count he doesn't really care about and browses the web, mostly Tumblr. He gets lost in pictures as he hears Victoria Grayson's voice in the background. Emily keeps watching tapes on repeat, wearing her computer down.
She's wearing him down as well. There's only so much he can take of her grating voice before all bets are off. Sitting with her like this reminds him of his ex-boyfriend Lucas listening to the same Nirvana song over and over again until Nolan would have to distract him with kisses to get him to turn his boom box off all together.
Nolan pauses and looks out the window to see the trees bend in the wind and he wonders if a storm is on its way. The sky does look darker than usual. Emily turns her head to see what he is looking at and her finger evades the pause button on the computer until Nolan does it for her. She swats his hand, not even thinking it through.
"What the hell are you doing Nolan?" she asks through grit teeth, clenched jaw.
He pulls back and gives her a shy smile, like he knows he's misbehaved. "I really can't take it anymore Ems…we should watch TV or listen to music or the rain, even the rain would do…" he purrs, his voice lingering in the air.
"I have business to take care of," she says, always reminding him that its work before play. The only time Emily plays is when she puts on a show as Emily Thorne, acting the part.
When she's set in her jeans and boots as Amanda Clarke, it's all business.
"All work and no play makes Emily a very dull girl…" he whines as he runs his fingers through his shorter hair.
"Can you live with that?" she asks as she chews the inside of her cheek, not caring if he can or can't. She's letting him stay here rent free even though he could buy the land out from under her with a snap and a whistle.
"Maybe we should learn a little word called compromise…" he proclaims with snarky confidence as he licks his lips.
She watches his tongue dip against his lower lip and then brings her eyes to face his at the same level. She tries to respect him but sometimes it's hard because she feels respect comes with trust and she has actively tried to keep herself from trusting anyone.
"Alright fine, what do you think we should do?" she asks as she lets him win, showing him and ounce of trust.
"You need to learn how to relax for one," he says as he tries to wrap his arm around her but she recoils as she did the first time he tried on the beach. The time apart they spent really did put a stunt on their relationship.
"How should I do that?" she asks, relying on his information to get her through to the next moment.
"This Grayson stuff is blinding you, haunting you… As much as I want them to burn to the ground, you don't want to go up in flames with them Ems," he says as he holds back the physical comfort he needs because he knows she doesn't want it.
She's quiet until she starts thinking about Jack again, how she was so close to telling him everything. She thinks of Amanda's baby and wonders if the baby is really Jack's. If it is, will she ever have a chance with him? What she does know for sure was that Jack wanted to be with her but Amanda was in the way. She could see in the sailor's eyes that he didn't love her, not like he did in the beginning when he learned she was Amanda Clarke.
She imagined Jack always felt connected her since she was actually David Clarke's daughter but maybe they were just connected because Jack was finally able to see past his childhood crush and see the kind person Emily Thorne was. The thought also came to her, since she was usually putting on an act as Emily Thorne, would Jack ever really want to be with or accept the real her, her true personality?
At least Nolan knew what to expect of her and loved her for it.
Something kept pulling her to watch more footage of Victoria Grayson, to watch her every move but Nolan kept her away, his blue eyes almost dark as he silently reminded her she was in fact a human and had needs she had to take care.
She could use something to eat. Standing up she hears the older wood creak beneath her bare feet as she notices Nolan is wearing mismatched colorful striped socks. She wouldn't expect anything less.
"Where are you going?" he asks, as the words stream from his parted lips.
"Making myself something to eat…" she says as she waltzes into the kitchen, making him follow her like a trained monkey. She'll make him dance for his food.
"Mmm, I see…and approve, that's step one, treating yourself…" he says as he fingers through an old Maxim magazine, making Emily roll her eyes because she isn't sure his old wank material belongs near the dining room.
He hums to himself and knows tomorrow is going to be a long day, every day with her is going to be long and exhausting but he's trying to view it all as a journey, a tragic adventure that will bring them closer together.
She listens to him hum and realizes him being in the house isn't too terrible after all. It beats being alone like she is used to. She hasn't known anything other except for when she was living with Daniel but even then she had to act a certain way, compose herself and always hide everything if she wanted to get anything done. This was different.
"I'm making grilled cheese, you want some?"
It's a small gesture, but he more than appreciates it. He is never one to take advantage but he nods accepting her offer knowing she is reaching out and opening up.