Blueness's Tale
A/N: The tale of how Blueness got his name.
Genre: Humor
Rating: K
This fic was inspired by the following passage:
Why is he named Blueness? She (-Daine-) asked as they trotted up a long flight of stairs.
My mama said when he was my age, he fell into a bowl of color the cook uses on food, and he came out all blue. I can't believe he would be that undignified, but that's what my mama said, and she knows everything.
The cat eyed the butterfly with interest, crouching in the tall grass, tail twitching as the butterfly flapped its wings lazily. It fluttered, and landed on a flower. And…
Pounce!
The butterfly took flight, the cat pawing at it despite the fact that it was out of reach. He jumped for it. Twisting awkwardly, he fell on his side. But he just stood up and shook himself slightly.
I thought cats were supposed to always land on their feet, a voice teased, making the cat turn.
I'm just original! the cat informed the dog brightly, with a very cat-like smug look on his face.
I don't think I've seen you around here before, the dog informed him, curiosity entering his voice. Are you new here?
The cat hung his head bashfully. I snuck out, he admitted. Mama doesn't like me to leave the castle. She says it's dangerous.
Well that would explain why I never see you. I'm outside all the time. My Master is trying to train me to hunt wolves. He held himself up tall at these words.
Aren't dogs supposed to hunt cats? the cat asked, not at all afraid. Mama told me dogs like to chase us up into trees.
The dog sat, tail thumping on the ground. Master scolds us when we do. He only wants us chasing wolves. But these wolves are strange. But we'll get them eventually. I'm Prettyfoot, he said this with great pride. Master named me just yesterday. I like this name! What's yours?
I got no name, the cat told him. Mama says I'm too silly for a name. The humans haven't named me, either.
Well I will call you Kitten, then, Prettyfoot announced.
I am not a kitten! he insisted with all the dignity he could muster, trying to look intimidating. I am a cat! A big, grown-up cat! Prettyfoot crouched to look the cat in the eye and gave a small yip of amused agreement.
Very well, what would you like me to call you?
The cat thought about this. What about the Clawmaster! He said with enthusiasm, extending his claws and sharpening them on the ground. Or…or The—
How about Kit? The dog asked, sitting up again.
The cat thought about this. Ok! he said at last. You can call me Kit. Prettyfoot yipped again and wagged his tail once.
Kit it is. His stomach growled, so he stood and pranced passed the newly-named Kit. I'm hungry, he informed the cat. You wanna get some food? He didn't wait for an answer, but Kit followed anyways.
What do dogs eat? he asked curiously, prancing alongside.
Anything! he answered. Bread, ham, turkey, whatever Master offers us. He give good food!
Ever try mice? Kit asked enthusiastically. Or rats? They're really tasty! And fun to catch. But mama says I'd get too bulky if I ate too many of them, so I try not to. But it's just so much fun!
Prettyfoot grimanced. Nope, he answered, never had mice. Aren't they annoying with so much fur? He asked, genuinely curious.
Nope! You just swallow 'em whole and you barely notice the fur. And then the humans females pet you and coon and say what a great hero you are! Especially the little ones.
They came to a place that smelled very much of dog, making Kit's nose twitch until he sneezed. Why are we here? he asked. Is there food here?
This is where the master feeds us, but he isn't here right now. It's a shortcut to the human food-place, though. And some of the two-leggers there love to sneak me food when the older ones aren't looking. I'm certain they'll give you food too, if you want.
One of the back doors was open, to allow some fresh air to flow through the food-place. Many two-leggers hurried around the room, dumping small bottles of liquids or strange-smelling powders into bowls. With the ease of great practice, Prettyfoot slipped in and quickly found one of the younger two-leggers, pawing the girl's leg gently and looking up with a pleading look in his eyes, willing to be fed.
"Oh you poor thing, Prettyfoot, you're hungry." The girl looked around, making sure no one was watching her and dropped one of the rolls she from her tray to the dog's waiting mouth. He chewed happily, giving the tiniest yip of thanks when he was finished, wagging his tail again.
Come on, he told Kit. It is not hard. This one especially loves the People.
Kit, always willing to try something new, ran forward towards and rubbed up against the girl's leg, purring loudly.
"Oh, Prettyfoot you brought a friend!" she set her tray down and picked Kit up. "What a sweet little kitten…"
I am not a kitten! Kit complained. I'm a cat!
"Would you like some milk, little one?" the girl asked, oblivious to Kit's irritation. At the mention of milk, however, the cat perked up, purring all the louder. She set him down again and left for a moment, returning from the other side of the room with a shallow dish and a jug of something. She set the dish down and poured some milk from the dish. Kit lapped eagerly.
I like this two-legger! Kit confided to Prettyfoot. Even if she does treat me like a kitten.
Prettyfoot was about to respond, but his ears picked up as he listened to some unheard noise. Master calls, he told Kit. We hunt today! It is only my third hunt. Perhaps today I will catch a wolf! Goodbye, Kit. I'll see you again. He trotted off out the back door, leaving Kit to entertain himself.
Kit willingly did just that. When finished with his milk, he searched through this food-place—kitchen, he heard one of the two-leggers say. It had many interesting things. He wished he could get higher, so he could see things better.
There was a drawer open partway to his left. Aha! Kit told himself. I might be able to get up that way! He trotted over to it. Crouching low, he braced himself and jumped, landing half in, half out of the drawer. But he managed to pull himself in. It had small pieces of cloth in it. How boring, he thought. He braced himself again, and leapt the rest of the way to the counter overhead. He made it this time with no mishap.
No one noticed him at first. Mama had told Kit that the two-leggers were feasting together today, so those in this kitchen was bustling with everyone coming and going, carrying trays of interesting-looking food. He walked along the countertop, sniffing some of the bowls or trays that waited to be carried at the next round of food. He sniffed one and sneezed. The smell burned his nose! He swiped at his nose with a paw. Needless to say, this did absolutely nothing to relieve the itch. But it faded eventually.
He looked up. There was a shelf above him, where a very sweet smell was coming from. What was that? he wondered. He braced his legs for one more leap, and jumped as high as he could.
His jump was unbalanced, and he launched a little to the right as he went up, by accident. He gripped the shelf, digging in with his claws. A woman turned and screamed.
"Scat, you mangy cat, you!" she scolded, trying to pry Kit's grip from the shelf. Kit's grip slipped unexpectedly, making the woman drop him in surprise, and he tumbled into a bowl just below him—full of a water. At least he thought it was water…But it was very, very blue water, if it was.
The girl who'd given him the milk picked him up, as he was trying to drag himself out of the bowl. She giggled. "Oh look at you!" she said with obvious amusement. A towel was quickly applied to his sopping fur. When the worst of the wet was gone, the girl set the towel down on the counter. Kit was shocked to see it was covered in blue splotches. "You're all blue!"
"Iona, get that kitten out of here!" someone ordered the girl who held her, who quickly obeyed and darted outside with the cat.
I'm not a kitten! Kit insisted yet again. By Queensclaw, these two-leggers are slow.
"I'm going to call you Blueness," the girl—Iona informed her burden. "Even if we get this color out of your fur, I'll certainly never forget this." She giggled. "You are the silliest cat I ever met."
Kit—Blueness—yowled in agreement. Finally! At least someone understood she wasn't a kitten!
And he liked his new name. To show this, he purred loudly again, making Iona giggle again.