As he yelled, I dropped quickly to the floor, hiding my body.

"Goddammit Dad! I'm changing! Would it kill you to knock occasionally?!" I yelled. Aly gasped and threw a shoe at my head. Dad's face grew a little redder, and his blue eyes bulged out a little more.

"Don't you mouth at me, missy. I brought you into this world, I'll take you out of it!" He ran his hands through his already messy black hair, making it stick out. I rolled my eyes.

When I said good morning
I was lying
I was truly thinking of
How I might quit waking up

"Well, funny enough dad, it wasn't you who went through 19 hours of labor, to bring out twins. Last time I checked, that was Mom, not you Dad" I snarled at him, "but then you went and killed her, so she's not here to back up your story, now is she?"

"Raina!!" Aly hissed, appalled. Mom was a taboo subject, and we were never to talk about her, or else. Telling dad he'd killed her was even worse.


He pointed out how selfish
It would be to kill myself
So I keep waking up

"Raina!" This time it was dad yelling my name. Almost spitting in rage he threw my door open wider and walked into my room. Aly jumped away from the closet and sat beside me, wrapping her arms around my shoulders.

"No, Dad, she didn't mean it! She's just tired, she doesn't realize anything yet!" Aly yelped as her dragged me to my feet.

Looking up at him, I barely even flinched as he yelled in my face. I just let him yell, let him hit me, and I just stood there, taking it. Not saying a word, not moving, barely even blinking. It was like my mind shut down when he was like this.

It feels so much like falling
Dying while I wait to die
The fear of something or nothing
Lonely empty lie

"Raina. Rain. Come on sis get up. Please, Rain. He's gone to work now," I blinked and looked around. Dad was gone. In his place was Aly, and she looked worried.

"Yeah. Yeah, Aly, I'm good. Go away; let me finish getting dressed. School is soon." She looked at me once more and left, closing my door softly behind her. Sighing, I pulled the skirt on, and fastened the belt.

Going back to my closet, I reached in and pulled out my favorite pair of combat boots. Pulling them on, I fixed the fishnet and laced them up to just under my knees.

Standing up, I felt a little better. Taller definitely. The boots added another inch to my five foot five inches.

Turning to the mirror I looked at my outfit. Suddenly tears came to my eyes, and I couldn't explain why. Then the tears were replaced by anger.

I don't want to be here, lying
I don't want to be selfish anymore
I want so much to change
Learning your love everyday
There's still so much to know


"Bye, Rain, I'm going to school!" Aly yelled, and a minute later I heard the front door slam shut, echoing in the empty house.

"I hate this!" I screamed, punching the wall. Pain blossomed in my knuckles and I screamed again. Suddenly I stopped and looked in the mirror again. I hated my reflection. The tears running down my face threw me over the edge. Now, normally I'm not an emotional person. I keep my emotions under control, and keep it inside. So what happened next, it wasn't what I usually did after my dad and I fought.

You grip my wrists
I let go

I punched the mirror. Watching the cracks ripple across the surface, and the bits of glass fall out made me feel better. Then the pain in my hand started again. Closing my eyes, I focused on the pain.

It feels so much like falling
Separated from the fear
Aware of a destination far away from here

Half an hour later, I'd finished cleaning up the bits of broken mirror, and put them in a plastic bag. I'm not sure why I did it, but as I was trying the garbage bag, I stopped. Reaching in, I felt carefully around, until my fingers closed around a good sized piece of the broken glass. Pulling it out, I put it on my bedside table and continued on with my morning.

It feels so much like falling
Separated from the fear
Aware of a destination far away from here
Far away from here

AN: the song is Much Like Falling - by Flyleaf