"We have a problem," Castiel said as he popped into the room.

"No, we have about a million problems," Dean disagreed. "But, please, feel free to add to the pile."

Castiel nodded. "Very well."

He'd spent more than a year hanging out with them, on and off, and yet it was still as if he'd never met a human before. Sometimes it was hard to believe that he'd actually gotten a lot better than he used to be. At least he was no longer smiling as he casually pulled daggers from his chest and dropped them before continuing with the conversation as if nothing had happened. That, more than anything, had freaked him out during that first meeting. Well, first meeting that he could remember anyway. Castiel did love reminding everyone about their little meet cute in hell. Under the circumstances, it seemed a bit ungrateful to complain.

"Michael and Lucifer have joined forces."

"Wait, what?" Sam asked, half-rising from his chair. "Is that…that could either be a very good thing or a very bad thing."

"Cas just said it was a problem, Sam. Why would that be a good thing, anyway?"

Sam sat back down. "Well, it could go one of two ways, right? If they are joining forces either Michael joined Lucifer, which is bad, or Lucifer joined Michael. And in that case, boom, apocalypse over."

"I'm sorry, Sam, but Lucifer has not been redeemed," Castiel said.

"And those asshats all want the apocalypse, remember?" Dean asked. "So how can they possibly be joining forces? Unless Michael decided to flake out and join Team Hell or something. I mean, I only met the dude once but he seemed a little too daddy issues for that kind of thing."

"Trust me," Sam said, "Lucifer's got some heavy duty daddy issues, too."

Dean made a face. "Yeah, but, I mean, not really the same kind."

"Would you like to continue speculating or just let me tell you?" Castiel asked.

"Well I, for one, would like to keep guessing," Dean said. "The longer it takes me to find out what this new problem is, the longer before it will actually have to be my problem."

"Dean," Castiel said reprovingly.

"Just tell us, Cas," Sam said.

"Michael has decided that it is taking too long to convince Dean to be his vessel so he has allied himself with Lucifer for the purposes of obtaining your consent." Castiel paused. "I have been assured that, despite this, the apocalypse is still on."

"Oh, you have got to be kidding me!" Dean burst out. "It's taking too long to get me to help out with all the world destroying? He can't be bothered to wait when he's been planning this for who even knows how long? Screw him. Seriously."

Sam's reaction was a little different. "Michael and Lucifer? Working together? This is…this is not good, Dean."

"I don't know, I feel kind of accomplished that those two have been at each other's throats for pretty much all of forever and then we won't play ball so they have no choice but to team up."

"Sure, maybe, but now they have teamed up. We have the two most powerful archangels working together and that probably means Raphael is right there with them and Gabriel is still off not helping in any way," Sam said.

"It's really ridiculous how unhelpful he's being," Dean agreed. "But Sammy, come on, it's not that different than before. I mean, Lucifer was going after you and…all of heaven was after me. It's not any more attention and now they both have to split their focus so it evens out."

"I guess," Sam said but he sounded unconvinced. "Cas, how did this even happen? Why would Lucifer, after all of this, just go along with Michael's plan? Did they really expect us to say yes immediately?"

"I cannot speak for what Lucifer expects," Castiel said. "But I do believe that heaven had expected that Dean would have given in by now. Michael was the one who approached Lucifer, I know, but I do not have all the details. Even if I were still welcome in heaven I do not believe I would have all the details. The archangels are very private beings."

"But you can guess," Dean said. "I mean, I've literally met Michael once and Sam never has. And the only read I got on Lucifer was that he was a psychopathic manchild with all of the daddy issues."

"Michael and Lucifer were very close before the fall," Castiel said haltingly. "I am sure they missed each other, despite everything. Perhaps they wanted an excuse to reunite before they have to kill each other. There is a reason everyone is wondering if this means the apocalypse will not proceed."

"I swear, every new thing I learn about them just makes me more convinced this whole 'apocalypse' thing is just the angels unable to deal with their family crap without hiding behind ideals and taking it out on the planet," Dean said disgustedly.

Sam nodded. "But then, we're hardly the poster children for healthy family fights, Dean. I mean, come on. Dad says 'if you walk out that door, don't come back' and I literally never do? He never calls me? You don't stop by to see me. We had a fight about finding Dad that lasted like five minutes before I took off. And let's not even get started on the whole Ruby thing."

"Well, yeah," Dean admitted. "But at least we've never tried to destroy the world!"

"That's rather a low bar," Castiel said.

Dean glared at him. "And we try not to involve other people, unlike them sucking the whole damn world in."

"It's just really weird, you know?" Sam asked. "These two miss each other, and I get that, but they won't admit it. Instead they decide to team up so that they can go kill each other faster. If they miss each other they probably don't even want to kill each other. Lucifer said he didn't, at any rate, but you can't really take him at what he says."

"Michael said the same thing," Dean said. "But I still feel that if he wants to obey Daddy more than he wants to not kill Lucifer then he clearly wants to kill Lucifer."

"Can't somebody just sign those two up for therapy?" Sam demanded.

"I do not think it would do any good," Castiel said. "They would not go. Or if they did, there is nobody but God Himself who would be strong enough to not be killed by one of them in a burst of rage. Michael usually has more restraint but I would not risk it."

"So what do we do?" Dean asked. "I don't exactly want to just sit around waiting to have two archangels on our asses trying to get us to help them not deal with their crap."

"I do not know that there is anything we can do," Castiel said. "You are hidden from their sight but that will only slow them down. Lucifer has not needed to physically find you in order to plague your dreams, Sam, and angels have managed to find you before."

Dean blew out a frustrated breath. "Perfect. So we have to just sit tight waiting for more of this crap."

"I don't believe it's that different from what you were doing before," Castiel said. "Just now you know that it is both of them."

"It could be worse," Sam said. "At least we've still got those angel banishing sigils."

"Yeah," Dean said. "But I don't know about you but this apocalypse is really starting to get on my last nerve."

Sam was trying not to get his throat torn out by two snarling werewolves. He and Dean had gotten separated but he didn't have the time or energy to worry about that just then.

He had to not get himself killed. He had to not get himself bitten.

"I am not accustomed to being ignored, Sam," Lucifer said.

Startled, Sam lost his focus and one of the werewolves managed to get ahold of his arm.

He didn't have time to worry about that.

"I mean, it's just incredibly rude," Lucifer complained. "I would never ignore you, Sam."

"I wish you would!"

"Ah, ah, ah. I am a big believer in the golden rule. I will not be ignored so I do not ignore. It's basic manners."

Sam kicked one of the werewolves away from him. It was absurd. There was an archangel not five feet from him and he was likely going to be ripped apart. He knew better than to ask Satan for a hand, though. It was better not to owe him anything anyway.

"How is the apocalypse following the golden rule?" he demanded. "People don't want to be murdered."

"Maybe," Lucifer replied. "But the golden rule isn't about what they want. It's about what I want. And while I don't want to be murdered now, if I were a human I wouldn't need someone else to put me out of my misery."

"Sammy!" Dean shouted. Sam turned his head and caught a brief glimpse of his brother running into the room. "Fix this!"

Was he talking to Lucifer? Why would he-the wolves were gone.

"Damn," Dean swore, coming over to him. "Is that a bite?"

Sam nodded reluctantly. "Yeah. Sorry. I got distracted."

Lucifer sighed and lazily waved a hand in Sam's direction. "I will accept having a human vessel if I must but I will not have a werewolf for a vessel. It's called standards."

"This is a good step," another voice said. It sounded just like…"But I do question why you were in here and I needed to get rid of the werewolves. Were you there when he got bitten?"

Sam turned to the voice. But that was impossible. Or, given the fact that he and Dean had both returned to life (some of them more than others), highly unlikely. How would he be here? How would he be able to get rid of werewolves? Why would he be casually admonishing Lucifer like that?

"I was," Lucifer said, nodding. "I did not see a reason to interfere."

"I just bet you didn't," Dean grumbled.

"You're not going to win Sam over if you don't step in to save him from werewolves when you're literally in the same room," the man lectured.

"Don't give me advice on winning over vessels when you haven't gotten the yes, either," Lucifer snapped.

The man turned to Dean. "Keeping in mind that answering me is not indicative of consenting, would you be more likely to agree to be my vessel or my brother's?"

"I guess if I had to choose, and I don't, I'd go with the guy who is more completely indifferent to the destruction of the human race rather than the one who is outright gunning for it."

The man looked smug. "See?"

"Oh, that's not even fair," Lucifer complained. "You know about my reputation!"

"You earned that reputation, Lucifer."

"So, what, I should intervene to save him from werewolves? If it were vampires or demons could I leave him to it?"

"I sincerely hope that's not a real question."

"Well it's not a fake question," Lucifer said. "It was a proper sentence that invited an answer and everything."

"Dean!" Sam exclaimed. "What's going on here? Why's dad here?"

"I am not your father," the man who apparently wasn't his father said.

"Michael apparently decided he needed a vessel and he somehow tricked Dad into saying yes," Dean explained. "He might be watching us now. But if Jimmy Novak was any indication, he might be too busy being chained to a comet to see us. Or, hell, I saw what happened to Raphael's vessel and according to Cas being Michael's vessel is an even worse job."

Sam looked closer. It looked like his father but the movements were all wrong. It was like he had a twin or something, someone stiff and straight-backed. He didn't like it.

"It doesn't have to be," Michael defended himself. "Your father is fine."

"And boy, did he call their reaction," Lucifer said, amused.

"How did you get in him?" Sam asked. "Is it like a holdover from that time in the 70s or something?"

"I needed his consent again," Michael said.

"Dad would never say yes to you!" Dean shouted.

"Except, of course, that time he apparently did thirty years ago," Lucifer said.

"That was different," Dean said. "Crazy angels were going to kill Mom."

"Your father knew I would not be using his body to fight Lucifer so consenting would not contribute to the apocalypse," Michael said. "He had a list of demands. Among them are him and his wife returning to life and Sam being brought back after I kill my brother."

"If I win, I don't feel the need to keep any of Michael's promises," Lucifer said. "Though I would be open to negotiating with you, Sam."

"How do I even know you'd keep your promises?" Dean demanded.

"Angels are very trustworthy," Lucifer told him.

Michael glared at him. "Stop it."

"Stop what?" Lucifer asked innocently. "I'm helping."

"You're really not."

"It is very important to me to do this right," Michael said. "It is an unpleasant task but one that must be faced. That is why I'm being so open about my intentions to you."

Dean barked out a laugh. "Open about your intentions? Your goons didn't even let me know that you existed until Cas dragged me out of hell and then you wouldn't tell me about the apocalypse. We had to figure it out! And even then you made out like you were trying to stop it when you were outright working with demons to make sure it happened! And let's not even get started on you only telling me I was supposed to be your vessel when Zachariah was supposed to not let me go until I consented!"

"He does have a point there," Lucifer said, smirking and moving one finger to his lips.

"I never worked with demons nor did any of the loyal angels under my command," Michael protested. "Some were secretly in league with Lucifer, such as Uriel, but I did not condone any of their actions."

"You really should have better control over your underlings," Lucifer said. "I'd never be so sloppy."

Michael glared at him. "Crowley."

"Yes, he is proving rather elusive," Lucifer admitted reluctantly. "But at least I know what he's up to and he fled the moment he gave the ineffectual Colt over. And now I have that. I've been enjoying shooting people with it."

Michel sighed and turned to Dean. "There was no need to inform you of the existence of angels until after the seals were breaking. It would have changed nothing. While I cannot deny that I had been anticipating the settling of my dispute with Lucifer and I believe it is destiny, angels were fighting to stop his rising."

"Six of them even died in the field one week," Lucifer said mockingly. "Which I, for one, would love to hear more about given how powerless most demons are against us."

"Perhaps I should have come to you sooner," Michael admitted. "But, as an archangel, finding a suitable vessel is not easy."

"It took me less than an hour after I located Nick to persuade him," Lucifer said. "And I didn't even promise him anything but what I was already going to do. Though I might have not mentioned the apocalypse bit. And finding him only took a few hours. By myself. After I was sealed away for thousands of years and needed to reacquaint myself. Your excuse is pathetic."

"I elected to delegate and let Zachariah inform you of what you needed to know," Michael said. "Had he been more successful, we wouldn't have had to meet at all until you said yes."

"Yeah, well, Zachariah's an asshat," Dean said bluntly.

Sam couldn't argue with him there.

"Since that approach is not working, I am here now to do this in person."

"It is still not going to work, especially with you wearing my dad," Dean snapped.

"I could revive Adam and try for his consent," Michael said. "Henry is currently unavailable but I could go back further and find another willing vessel."

Dean glared. "Leave Adam out of it. He died horribly and doesn't need to be dragged into this."

"So would you prefer I find a great-grandfather or something of the like?" Michael asked. "I'm not looking to make this any harder than it has to be."

"Leave my family alone!"

"I apologize, Dean, but you know I can't do that," Michael said earnestly.

Sam snorted. "Maybe you choose not to. I can't imagine there are many out there who can make you do anything."

Michael inclined his head. "Very well, then. It is my duty. But I already have your father's consent so if you cease your objections to my vessel I can leave your other relatives in peace."

Dean made a face. "It's just…weird. He's my dad."

"You were not nearly this disturbed the last time," Michael pointed out.

"Yeah, well, last time Sam was dead and you just killed Anna to save Mom and Dad looked quite a bit different," Dean said.

Michael looked thoughtful then nodded. The familiar form of Sam's father melted away into the less-familiar face they had met when they travelled back in time.

"Is this better?"

Dean looked like he had sucked on a lemon. "I can live with it."

"Sam, you must be feeling so left out," Lucifer said, disappearing and reappearing at his side.

Sam quickly took a few steps back. "Not really."

"So quick to deny his own feelings!" Lucifer exclaimed.

"I'm really not. I just don't want to talk to you about this," Sam said.

Lucifer raised an eyebrow. "Oh, would you prefer we make small talk first? I can do that. Did you know that there are still people out there blaming me for, well, all sorts of things? Hardly fair given I only got out pretty recently and I've been too busy killing people to make other bad things happen to them. And even if you want to blame everything my demons have done on me since I created them, they're hardly causing mental illness either." He paused. "Well, PTSD, perhaps. But those cases usually end in death more than lingering trauma and that's really not what people mean."

"I don't want to talk to you about anything," Sam clarified, glaring at him.

"Now that's just hurtful," Lucifer said. "What's wrong with a little conversation? Words never hurt anybody."

"I…don't even have the words for how much crap that is," Sam said.

"Yeah, aren't you trying to use words to talk Sammy into being your meat suit anyway?"

"Please, Dean," Lucifer scoffed. "Meat suit is such a demon term. You're better than that."

Dean blinked and drew back. "Satan believes in me. I…don't know how to take that."

"I would be concerned," Michael opined.

Dean shook his head. "I don't want to agree with you but I kind of do agree with you."

"It won't be my words that will sway you," Lucifer said. "Just the sheer inevitability of what's going to happen."

Sam glared again. "Then why are you even here?"

"There's nothing that says I have to stay away and keep radio silent while you're realizing this," Lucifer said. "In fact, my words could even help you through this difficult time."

"So now you're acknowledging that me being your vessel would really suck for me?" Sam asked, crossing his arms.

Lucifer shrugged. "Perhaps. Losing your species seems to be something you're against and, honestly, I could never take being a vessel. That's why it's rather lucky I won't have to. So you will probably be in a very low place when you consent. That's not my fault. I don't make the rules."

Sam laughed harshly. "Not your fault? Everything in my life that has ever gone wrong has been because of you!"

Lucifer gave a long-suffering sigh and glanced heavenward. "Does nobody listen when I remind them that I have been stuck in hell for thousands of years? How people blame their problems on me is just beyond me."

"Sam's not just some soccer mom blaming you for her kid blasting rap or something," Dean argued. "All of my problems are your fault, too. Azazel got him started on the demon blood when he was six freaking months old and killed our mom!"

"I seem to recall hearing something about how he wouldn't have killed her if she hadn't come across him," Lucifer said, tapping his chin.

"Yeah, and that's crap, too," Sam said. "We were still pretty out of the loop when Dean finally killed him but I'm pretty sure he was the king of hell. You're seriously telling me that he had no way to keep her from interfering? Or, once she did interrupt, he couldn't have knocked her out or made her think it was a dream or something like that?"

"He probably could have," Lucifer said. "But if he chose not to, because he was a demon remember, that hardly makes it my fault."

"He wouldn't have been there in the first place if he hadn't been trying to free you!" Sam shouted. "And what about all those other families he destroyed and those innocents he killed because he wasn't sure it was really me?"

"Only tainting you was necessary to free me so anything else he did was not because of me," Lucifer reasoned. "Maybe he wouldn't have been there in the first place without me but at some point you need to let other people take responsibility for their own actions. And I was actively trying to get freed so don't you think that if I had a way to know precisely the name of my perfect vessel I would have given it to him? I had been sealed away for a long time and though I knew it the moment I saw you, that didn't exactly help me give precise instructions to my underlings."

"I have a question," Michael said.

Lucifer rolled his eyes. "Can't this wait? I'm trying to talk to Sam right now."

"It could," Michael said. "But I don't feel I should have to wait."

"Fine, what is it?"

"Why did Azazel even need to make deals with the parents of your potential vessels to enter their homes ten years later, assuming they would even have a six-month child by then, instead of just entering and tainting them?" Michael asked. "Perhaps Mary Winchester took care to demon-proof her house but the others would not know how to."

"That's…actually a really good question," Dean said slowly, staring accusingly at Lucifer.

Lucifer merely shrugged. "I was a little busy being trapped in hell at the time and Azazel only spoke to me once in all my years trapped there. Communication required slaughtering quite a few nuns in a sacred space, after all. Who can say why he did it that way? Perhaps he just had a flair for the dramatic. He was a demon, after all."

"He probably did it because he knew that Mary Winchester would never allow her children to be raised to be hunters," Michael disagreed. "Given Mary and John's families and Dean's own words to Azazel the night he made the deal with Mary, it's no surprise Sam was the one he was betting on. But Sam needed to not be a nice little civilian boy if he was going to be the last special child standing and then kill Lilith to start the apocalypse. And, though Azazel may not have known or cared, Dean would be called upon to stand against the apocalypse before becoming my vessel."

That actually made a lot of sense to Sam. What would have happened if their father had died instead of their mother? His mother had already known what was out there and took the brutal deaths of her parents at a demon's hand and stayed true to her plan for a normal life. Losing her husband probably would have made her all the more determined. Maybe she'd have taught them to protect themselves but they wouldn't have been hunters.

He couldn't imagine it.

"And I would be the only one called to stand against the apocalypse because God knows no one else was," Dean said. "Well, okay, fine. Cas was. But apparently that got him fired from heaven or something."

"I did offer him my condolences," Lucifer said. "It's such a sad thing to happen."

"Nobody asked you," Dean said.

"I don't know if I should be impressed or worried at how easily you slip into the mindset of a king of hell, Michael, whether you happen to be right or not," Lucifer said.

Michael just shot him a look.

"And before you boys continue on with your litany of woe, your father made the choice to become a hunter because of something Azazel did. Everything that happened after that was because of that choice. Dean made the choice not to leave when he was old enough and you, Sam, made the choice to come back before anything had even happened to your father. He's the one who chose not to call. And everything afterwards that Azazel did…much of it was necessary to free me but it was hardly my fault Azazel chose to do what he did and is really fair to resent me for just wanting my freedom?" Lucifer asked rhetorically. "Even if I came out of that cage determined to love humanity or something like that, blood was still needed to set me free and that was God's doing. And Michael's, for sealing me in there."

"I'm not having this conversation with you right now."

"I didn't ask you to," Lucifer said. "All I want is for people to start taking responsibility for their own actions instead of just blaming me."

"He says while simultaneously passing the buck on all of his own actions," Dean said disgustedly.

"You know, for one of the four most powerful beings in all creation you sure can make yourself seem like a victim," Sam said, shaking his head.

"Oh, you've realized that there are only four of us?" Lucifer asked, delighted. "Well done! You have no idea how amused I was to find out that people thought Uriel or Anael were one of us. Have you met Raphael and Gabriel?"

The trickster's face flashed through his mind. They hadn't seen him since they left him standing in the pseudo-rain after forcing him to confess to who he really was and his true motives for supporting the apocalypse. Sam hadn't argued when Dean decided to free him. It didn't sit right with him leaving Gabriel trapped there forever and the fact they were inside and safe from the weather meant it would take even longer for him to get free. But he had worried, just the same.

Gabriel hadn't come after them for getting the best of him in the past. He had even seemed impressed by it. But had they really gotten the best of him? He hadn't seemed to expect that he and Dean had staged that fight and he and Bobby were Dean's back-up that first time. But Gabriel had faked his death easily enough and faking his death was the plan he tried to get Dean to agree to. Sam eventually realized a trickster was behind those endless Tuesdays but how long had that taken? And Gabriel had to have made that error on purpose plus he was in no real danger. And while Sam had seen through Gabriel's trickster disguise, Gabriel had left 'Bobby's' body there long enough for him to panic and think he really did kill his surrogate father. Sam had gotten his way then by apparently being too stupid and stubborn for Gabriel to think he could still convince or by looking too pathetic he hadn't had the heart to continue.

They had decisively won after the TV land. They told Gabriel they were going to do what he wanted and consent to Michael and Lucifer and how would that have even played out with Gabriel hiding? Castiel clearly knew who Gabriel was the moment he saw him, hence the duct tape, so of course Michael and Lucifer would have, too. Was he going to just snap them there and stay away? Admit who he was and drop them off as presents before running away again? Did Gabriel even think that through?

But anyway. They had told Gabriel they were giving him what he wanted then they had tricked him, actually tricked him, and trapped him in holy fire. They had forced him to bring back Castiel and threatened to kill him. They could have, too, just by dialing up the heat a bit. They got his real name from him increasing the chances that the angels constantly plaguing them would find out who he really was. And Gabriel gave a good speech, even if Dean shot it down, and his cocky attitude didn't fail until they started to walk away. Then he conceded they had him at their mercy and Dean let him go.

Sam was expecting some kind of retribution after that, even if it was just a little, but they hadn't heard anything. Maybe it wasn't worth it to mess with them while the eyes of heaven and hell were both on them and he wasn't trying to speed things along.

"I met Raphael," Dean said boldly. "I wasn't impressed. He did a cool little light-show but ask how easy it was to trap him in some holy fire and ditch him there."

That was not quite how Dean had described the encounter when they had finally reunited but it was a pretty badass moment.

Lucifer raised an eyebrow at Michael. "You let that happen?"

"I didn't know about it," Michael said defensively. "Raphael managed to free himself after a few days. He is holding a grudge about that, by the way."

"That's fine," Dean said easily. "I'm holding a grudge about the way that he blew up Cas."

"I don't see why," Lucifer said. "He got better. In fact, given the very few possibilities for how that could have happened and the fact that everyone knows that you could say my brother did him a favor."

"Raphael thinks you did it."

"Well I didn't."

"You're not a trustworthy source," Michael pointed out.

"So now you believe that I brought Castiel back?" Lucifer asked.

"Well, no," Michael conceded. "But you supporting that story is not going to persuade anyone."

"I try to help but no one lets me because of my reputation," Lucifer said sadly. "And before you remind me, yet again, that I earned it, how am I supposed to change it if everyone is so suspicious?"

"That could be a legitimate problem if you had any true interest in changing your reputation," Michael said.

"The thing you need to understand, Sam, is that technically having you as my vessel isn't required," Lucifer said.

"Then leave me alone."

"I have been leaving you alone for the most part," Lucifer said. "Believe me, if I wanted to nothing could stop me from spending all my time with you. Even your little angel banishing sigils have to be written in blood and only work for so long. And if I show up unexpectedly and don't give you or your brother the opportunity to create them…it wouldn't be hard, especially if you managed to banish me a few times and I can learn from my mistakes."

The very idea of Lucifer as his own personal stalker made Sam shudder.

"But it's not as though I do that even though I could," Lucifer said. "I'm not unreasonable, Sam. And if you did defy every expectation and continue saying no forever, it wouldn't change a great deal. I'll be honest, it would ruin the apocalypse a little for me in that I would have to make do with this less than ideal vessel or one just like it instead of my proper one. It would be even worse if Michael gets the yes and I don't but don't let something like that influence you!"

"I have no intention of letting things like your brother showing you up or you not fully enjoying wiping out my entire species persuade me to say yes," Sam said flatly.

Lucifer nodded. "Right, of course. But I'd still kill them. It's not as though it is Sam Winchester or bust. I am already moving forward with my plans, giving you some space, and killing thousands. You say no long enough and I'll kill Michael like this."

"You will try like that," Michael corrected. "You do not have the power to kill me."

"Let's not argue in front of the children, Michael. In the end, Sam, you save nothing by resisting me," Lucifer said.

"Sure I do," Sam said. "That's the same kind of argument that doesn't hold water when people say that if they hadn't gone along with the crimes everyone else was doing it would have been done anyway. There's a thing called moral culpability and if I don't say yes I don't have to help you destroy the world."

"But you get nothing out of it, either," Lucifer said. "And honestly, these doomed moral stands are so banal. If you say yes, you can ask for a great deal. You will live through this, assuming I win, and I can bring your brother back. I can make the same deal Michael made with your father, you know, and it's smart to play both sides. If I lose then it doesn't matter as what bits of humanity survive my battle with Michael will be safe and you will be brought back. But if I win…it won't save Dean. Even if he never says yes, I might kill him anyway. I might kill you. Or you'll have to live in a world where I win. You could get a lot out of a yes, Sam, if you're clever and I know that you are."

"He's not interested," Dean said flatly.

"I'm not selfish enough to doom the world so I get a better deal," Sam agreed. He hoped Dean hadn't spoken first because he worried that Sam might be tempted.

"You were listening when I explained how it's happening anyway?" Lucifer asked.

"Sure but it's not happening today or for however long you try to convince me," Sam pointed out. "And if I say yes and Dean says yes you two would fight right here and now."

"Very shortly, yes, but this is hardly a suitable location and there's no need to rush it," Michael corrected him.

"And if we say yes we won't be able to stop you," Sam said.

Lucifer rolled his eyes. "Sam, it's adorable that you'd even try but you have to know, in your heart, that you can't stop me. I won't fall for any holy oil like Raphael did. You'll never get close enough to stab me with an angel blade. You just…can't. And if you really think a few more months of semi-normal life is worth suffering the same fate as all the rest of humanity, I guess we'll just have to see if you still feel that way as things build up to my fight with Michael."

"Then leave me alone until then."

"I could," Lucifer said. "In fact, I was doing just that."

"But now you can't because your brother you don't want to kill and who doesn't want to kill you but who you're going to have a death match with over the fate of a planet neither of you actually care about wants to work together with you?" Sam asked skeptically. "So you can move up the timetable on that death match."

Lucifer smirked. "When you say it like that it almost sounds ridiculous."

"Why did you even come here?" Dean demanded. "You had to have known it wouldn't be that easy to get us to say yes."

"Perhaps not," Michael acknowledged. "But we had to start somewhere. It wasn't that easy for Castiel to win your trust, either, but that didn't mean he never should have even met you or should have stayed away after explaining he was an angel."

"I think they've more than realized where we stand," Lucifer said. "We could stay and belabor the point or we could agree to just see you next time."

"See you next time?" Dean asked, making a face. "That sounds like you have an appointment or something."

"Don't I?"

"Wait," Sam said suddenly.

Dean stared at him. "Seriously? They're leaving and you want to stop them?"

"I just had a question," Sam said.

"Go ahead," Michael said.

"You said something about how Azazel probably chose me because of my mom and dad's family," Sam said. "I get the thing about Mom, she was a hunter. But what does my dad's family have to do with it?"

Dean looked suddenly interested. "Yeah, that's a good point. Or do you just mean the bloodline? Because it has to be my dad's bloodline if he can get possessed and Adam can, too. But if Azazel knew that then why wouldn't he know it was Sam? Unless everyone had the same bloodline? I mean, unless everyone regularly got wiped out or only had one kid per generation you'd think by now a bloodline would be pretty huge, right?"

"Actually, your father's family had the bloodline that Michael needed which is why he can possess your father and half-brother," Lucifer corrected. "Your mother's family has the bloodline I need. If I could convince her, I might show up looking like your mother. You never know."

"Please don't," Sam said, horrified.

Lucifer just waggled his eyebrows.

"Are you seriously telling me that your two bloodlines just happened to unite with my parents and my dad didn't have a clue about the supernatural stuff?" Dean asked suspiciously. "And the bloodline united right in time to have the two kids you clowns needed as vessels?"

"That certainly is an interesting coincidence, don't you think, Michael?" Lucifer asked, smiling.

"Your parents were brought together by a cupid, Dean," Michael admitted.

Dean's eye twitched. "What? What happened to 'there's no free will, Dean, because of all the ways life could have played out, including your parents getting together and having you, it happened to play out just like it did'?"

Lucifer's smile widened. "Did you really say that? Uh-oh."

"They really did love each other," Michael defended himself. "That's what cupids do. They create love. But your parents still had to have been born and be the appropriate gender and want kids and agree to settle down together. Do you know how many people love each other but, for whatever reason, don't stay together or have children? The fact that heaven ensured they would fall in love and they didn't decide for themselves doesn't take away from my argument against free will."

"No but there's a big difference between 'it was inevitable' and 'my friends and I made it happen'," Dean insisted.

"And no one has answered the question about Dad's family," Sam said. "Was it just the bloodline or not?"

"No, of course not," Michael said. "Your father wouldn't know this as his father fell through a time portal that he hasn't emerged from when your father was young but the Winchesters have long-since been Men of Letters."

"Time portal," Sam repeated. "Is that seriously what we've come to?"

"Men of what now?" Dean asked.

Lucifer sighed. "Honestly, Dean, it's three words. Men of Letters. You really should listen."

"I'm listening just fine," Dean said. "I just have never heard of them."

"That's because the last knight of hell, Abaddon, destroyed them sixty years ago and then entered the portal chasing your grandfather and is also out of commission," Michael explained.

"There are knights of hell?" Sam asked. "How does that even work?"

"I named them that," Lucifer said. "It all sounds very grand. Cain was the first and he trained the others. Of course, he fell in love with some human woman and when the knights tried to get him to come back he killed all of them except Abaddon since his dying love begged him not to. It was all very…unfortunate."

"But what are the Men of Letters?" Dean demanded.

"They were sort of like hunters," Michael said slowly. "Though they'd be horrified to be associated with them. They were more scholarly than that and, for the most part, not fighters. They were a secret society and membership usually passed through the generation. They were not witches but they utilized a large collection of magical objects and rituals just the same. They had the most extensive collection of lore I've ever seen. That was probably why Abaddon killed them." He paused. "Well, that or the fact they appeared to be on the verge of finding a way to cure demons. The timing is a little too coincidental for that not to be related."

"C-curing demons?" Sam couldn't believe it. "From what?"

"Curing demons," Lucifer scoffed. "As if restoring their humanity is any better."

"I guess from being a demon," Dean said. "Is there, uh, any way we can get our hands on any of that?"

"If you were willing to consent to me, Dean, we could talk about a great many things," Michael said. "Failing that, I'm sure your grandfather will turn up sooner or later. If it's before the end of this world, you could ask him all about it."

"Now if there's nothing else we can do for you, we'll be taking our leave," Lucifer said, vanishing before waiting to hear a reply.

Michael looked expectantly at them.

"Uh, we're good," Sam said. "Thanks."

Michael vanished.

"Did you seriously just thank an archangel for coming to try and make us vessels?"

"It's called being polite, Dean, and I thanked him for waiting to see if we needed more information," Sam said. "He didn't have to give us any at all. And now we know about the Men of Letters!"

Dean snorted. "Yeah, for all the good that does us. Still, makes you think. Dad hated his father his whole life and now we find out that not only did he not walk out on them but he was some kind of badass librarian who is stuck in time."

"Yeah," Sam said, looking down. "And he never found out."

"Well, he might have been listening to Michael explain it," Dean said. "Or he could have found out while in heaven. Or maybe, if he really comes back, we can tell him about it. He can reunite with him if he ever comes out of that portal."

"Do you remember the good old days when we just had to deal with vengeful spirits?" Sam asked plaintively.

"Why do the good old days never feel like the good old days when you're living them?" Dean wondered. "What do you think about that whole thing?"

"It was…weird. I don't like it but I'm not rethinking my no," Sam said. "You?"

D

"No, definitely not, but I meant more the Dad thing. You think Dad will really come back?"

"I don't know," Sam said slowly. "Maybe Michael will do it to convince you he keeps his promises and try to win you over. It would just…be weird, you know. I never really got used to having him back before he died."

"I got used to him being dead but in some ways it's not that different than him being on a really long hunt," Dean replied. "It's Mom I'm more weirded out by. You don't even remember her and I know it always seems like I had this completely different experience because I'm older but, still. I was four, Sammy. And it's been more than twenty-five years. I barely knew her and it's been so long…do you think it's possible?"

"Possible? Of course it's possible. From what I've seen, there's not a lot they can't do. Will they do it?" Sam asked rhetorically. "Well that's another matter entirely."

Dean groaned. "This is not what I needed."

"You're upset," Michael noted. "I don't believe the humans noticed."

"Of course not," Lucifer said. "They're humans. They notice nothing."

"Why are you upset? It happened when you were explaining about Cain and Abaddon. Were you…displeased with the death of your knights?"

"I could make more knights," Lucifer said, shaking his head. "And while my knights knew me before I was imprisoned, they're still demons and I'm not all that sentimental."

"Then what is it?"

Lucifer started to answer then stopped himself. "What does it matter, Michael? We're working together but nothing's changed."

Technically, Lucifer was right. He was still the great evil that Michael would need to destroy in order to usher in paradise and, hopefully, bring their father home. Everyone was counting on him. It would not be easy but that did not mean it was not right. And he would do it. He would. But that day had not yet come and why pretend not to care when it was so obvious that he did? Maybe the lesser angels and the demons and humans would be fooled but Lucifer never would.

"Do you think I'll use whatever you tell me against you?" Michael asked. "I intend to conduct our fight with honor."

"No, I just don't see how it could possibly matter."

"If it doesn't matter then why not tell me?"

There was a silence.

"It's just the way it happened. Cain was perfect. He was so well-meaning, damning himself to save his precious little brother. And then he became a ruthless killer, the way all humans can be twisted. Their work was glorious. And then…some human woman. He didn't kill her and, for some reason, took the time to get to know her instead. They fell in love. He stopped. He killed the others. He stopped killing all together, even letting his wife's murderer go, because she begged it of him."

"Doesn't that show that humans are capable of great goodness, too?" Michael asked gently. "Cain may be a demon but he came from humanity and the lack of torture he underwent means he can remember it better."

"Of course they're capable of it, Michael, that was never in dispute," Lucifer said impatiently. "It's their flaws, not their merits, that interest me. And Cain isn't just a demon! He bears my mark. It will never let him die, not without the First Blade. It will never stop whispering murder and death into his ear. And he just…retired. He can't do that. They say he keeps bees!"

"That must be…difficult."

It was hard for him to sympathize with Lucifer that one of his demons wasn't being evil enough for him but actually telling Lucifer that, when he already hadn't been sure about confiding in him, would not do Michael any favors.

"I just don't understand it," Lucifer complained.

"Maybe he's trying to aspire to be better than he is," Michael offered.

"He shouldn't be able to, no matter what he's aspired to! It's been nearly a century and a half and he hasn't committed a single act of violence despite some very good provocation," Lucifer said. "Though Abaddon's disappearance may have helped with that since it happened."

"Perhaps it's all the time he's had the Mark," Michael suggested. "He's learned to live with it. It's not as though you ever created something like that before and so know about the long-term effects."

"I suppose," Lucifer said, sighing. "I can go track down Cain later."

"What did you think of Sam and Dean?"

"Sam was what I expected," Lucifer said. "He knows he doesn't have a chance and is just putting on a brave front to not disappoint his brother. I think you are right about needing to separate them or make Dean more obviously have no faith in Sam's ability to resist."

"And Dean?"

"He's very brash but lacks conviction. He doesn't want to say yes but he doesn't believe they can stop it. Unfortunately, he might just be stubborn enough to say no anyway. Say no forever, maybe."

"That's why I came to you," Michael said. "We don't want that."

"I don't know, if I get the yes and you I don't I might enjoy that," Lucifer mused. "Though I concede that, just like with Sam, Dean is more likely to say yes once his brother has. What was your impression of the two?"

"Dean…he's a lot like me," Michael said. "Except he will not bow to the inevitable. I am not so delusional as he is. But he's young and I don't think he fully understand why this has to happen. To him, it's just some higher powers playing games with his family and his world. I understand why he resents it. But that doesn't change anything. And Sam is so desperate to make up for the mistakes of the past and so aware that he's never going to be able to change what is coming. It almost hurts to look at him."

"Does it?"

Lucifer didn't ask why and Michael wasn't going to say it.

"How much time do you think we should give them before going to try again?" Michael asked. "We did what we set out to do with this meeting but there were too many of us to have a proper attempt at a persuasion. For the straight-out attempts to talk them into it it should just be one on one, I think."

"I don't know, we'll play it by ear," Lucifer said. "In the meantime, I think we should track down Gabriel."

"Gabriel?" Michael asked, startled.

"You don't need to come with me if you don't want to," Lucifer told him. "But that is what I will be doing and do you really trust me alone with our brother after he's been gone so long? I may actually be able to make it two against two. Wouldn't that be something?"

"Of course I want to find Gabriel," Michael said. "He's been missing for so long. Too long. It's rather alarming at this point and I don't even know what he's doing. But Raphael and I have been looking for him since he left and we never managed to find him. What makes you think you and I can find him now?"

Lucifer smirked at him. "The fact that, when I asked about him, Sam Winchester had seen him recently and knows how he's hiding. He doesn't know exactly where he is but I think I can find an archangel masquerading as a trickster, especially knowing what face he's wearing."

"He won't want to see us," Michael said, cautiously optimistic. Not that that mattered. If Michael could find him then he would find him. Gabriel had been running long enough.

"You don't know that."

"If he wanted to see us then he would instead of hiding like a child."

"He loves us," Lucifer insisted. He closed his eyes and was clearly concentrating. "Even me and I bet he'd actually admit that."

"That's why he wants to stay away," Michael said. "He knows we'd just make him take part in our fight."

"Well he can't just not take part in a conflict that will engulf this entire world," Lucifer said reasonably. "And we don't have to make any decisions about him just yet. We need to find him first and see what has become of him."

They lapsed into silence. If this did work, if Lucifer really could find their missing brother, then wasn't that proof that he was right? Didn't that mean that he was doing the right thing by working with him no matter what else happened or what anybody else thought?

Eventually, after some time, Lucifer opened his eyes. "I've found him."

He took flight and Michael immediately went after him.

They touched down in a cheap restaurant. It was a strange place to be, a strange place to find one archangel let alone three.

Michael hadn't looked in anyone's mind to see what his brother looked like these days but he didn't have to. There were plenty of humans around but, even if he wouldn't have been able to tell the moment he saw Gabriel, there was only one person staring straight at them. He had a large green drink in front of him.

Lucifer opened his mouth.

"No," Gabriel said. He looked over at Michael. "And no."