I did not expect this many people to favorite and follow this story right away but I guess that's what happens when the first chapter is just a very detailed kiss. I'm here to please the gays. This story's actually going to take a much different path than I originally intended it to. All I can say is brace yourselves for a lot of angst. Blame a friend of mine for giving me the idea.
Also, if anyone reading this is following my other fanfics, I just want to say I'm not done with them but I'm going to focus on this for the time being.
Beca took a deep breath as she waited for DJ Khaled to finish his speech. This was it. This was what everything had led to. She still felt a tinge of guilt for doing this as a solo act despite all the Bellas' encouragements including a certain redhead she could not get out of her mind since that night. She tried to get a sneak peek at the front row and there she was with his arm around her.
Beca watched as Chloe turned to Chicago with the biggest smile on her face. How could she be happy when she felt so sad? Part of her wanted the ginger to feel her pain too, so she wouldn't be so lonely with it, but part of her was glad she couldn't. It wasn't worth it. Beca's eyes suddenly swam with tears and she hurried to scrub them from her face before they surfaced. She knew tears would lead to sympathy, and sympathy would lead to more tears.
When Chloe kissed Beca, her brain lit on fire and the warmth spread throughout her entire body. After that, her feelings got even more messed up than they already were when it came to Chloe. Beca couldn't bear not to be with her and she could barely breathe when she was around her. She had never felt the way she felt during any other kiss. Even though she didn't show it, Beca knew if she lost Chloe, then she'd lose herself.
Sadly, before Beca even finished processing the kiss, Chloe mentioned how happy she was with how well the small brunette went along with the distraction. It was just a distraction. It didn't mean anything to her so it shouldn't mean anything to you. Get your head out of your ass, Mitchell. That was what she kept telling herself but she wasn't convinced. Chemistry like that just can't be faked. Beca might not know it yet but that kiss did mean something to Chloe. A lot more than she thinks.
When she heard her name called out by DJ Khaled, Beca snapped out of her thoughts and made her way on stage in front of the setup microphone. She took a second to look at the front row where she found all the Bellas' smiling faces including Chloe who was grinning from ear to ear. Beca forced a smile when her eyes fell on Chloe, not wanting it to be obvious she's bothered by the person sitting next to her. A few more seconds passed until the music started playing.
Heaven knows I was just a young boy
Didn't know what I wanted to be
I was every little hungry schoolgirl's pride and joy
And I guess it was enough for me
To win the race, a prettier face
Brand new clothes and a big fat place
On your rock and roll TV
But today the way I play the game is not the same, no way
I think I'm gonna get me some happy
As she finished that part, Beca approached the Bellas in the front row and grabbed Fat Amy's hand to lead her to the stage, continuing to sing with the Bellas joining in for some parts as they all got on stage together for possibly the very last time.
I think there's something you should know
(I think it's time I told you so)
There's something deep inside of me
(There's someone else I've got to be)
Take back your picture in a frame
(Take back your singing in the rain)
I just hope you understand
Sometimes the clothes do not make the man
Beca had a particular man in mind when she sang that last lyric.
All we have to do now
Is take these lies and make them true, somehow
All we have to see
Is that I don't belong to you
And you don't belong to me, yeah
Freedom, I won't let you down
Freedom, I will not give you up
Freedom, gotta have some faith
Gotta have some faith in the sound
All those words were being directed not only at the Bellas but at one member specifically.
I think there's something you should know
(I think it's time I told you so)
There's something deep inside of me
(There's someone else I've got to be)
Take back your picture in a frame
(Take back your singing in the rain)
I just hope you understand
Sometimes the clothes do not make the man
Eh eh eh eh eh (Oh)
Eh eh eh eh eh (I will not let you down)
Eh eh eh eh eh
Freedom
Freedom
Freedom (Freedom, freedom)
Gotta have some faith in the sound
Have some freedom (Have some freedom, oh)
Freedom
Freedom (Freedom)
All we have to do now (All we can do)
Is take these lies and make them true somehow
All we have to see (Oh)
Is that I don't belong to you
And you don't belong to me (Freedom)
Emotions were running high as Beca stepped up to finish the song, meaning every word of it.
I won't let you down
I will not give you up
Gotta have some faith in the sound
It's the one good thing that I've got
I won't let you down
I will not give you up
It's the one good thing that I've got
The crowd erupted into a fit of cheers as the song ended. Beca broke out into the biggest grin as she turned around only to be instantly embraced by Chloe first and soon enough the remaining Bellas. But Beca only cared about Chloe. She held onto her so tight as if she was afraid the redhead would disappear somehow if she let go for even a second.
Beca was so overcome with emotion that she hadn't even noticed there were tear tracks running down her cheeks. She had to resist the urge to pout once Chloe let go but she was able to hold herself back once she saw the other girl's proud and smiling face. She could've kissed her. Beca could've done it right then and there but she didn't. She didn't want to ruin the moment in case her feelings weren't reciprocated. But she promised herself she'd do it today to get it over with. She'd do it once they returned backstage.
Unfortunately, the Bellas all went backstage together and Beca lost Chloe. The small brunette silently cursed herself for not paying attention to where the redhead was going. She figured Aubrey would probably know where her best friend already went off to so she approached.
"Hey, Aubrey. Do you know where Chloe went?" Beca asked, clearly impatient.
"She told me she got a text from Chicago telling her to meet up with him over there somewhere." Aubrey pointed to where Chloe was told to meet up with Chicago.
Beca's eyes slightly widened when she heard Chicago's name. She could already feel her chance with Chloe slipping away. Without saying another word, Beca took off in the direction Aubrey pointed at as quickly as possible but it was too late when she got there. Her face fell once she saw Chloe being held in his arms as they shared a very passionate kiss.
Beca knew when it started it would break her. She knew that there was too much at stake. She felt more connected to Chloe than any man she had ever met. She loved the feel of her arms, her touch, her embrace, but it killed Beca that she may have just lost Chloe for good. She felt sad.
But sad sounded so childish, like something flimsy, something one should be able to cast off with a happy reflection or the smile of a friend. It's not how it works though. She felt emotionally bankrupt. The was nothing left to feel, nothing left to say, nothing left but the void that enveloped her mind in swirling blackness.
As much as she felt Chloe betrayed her rare affections and left her heart in a shattered disarray of pieces, she couldn't stop loving her. Every single time Chloe "stole" a part of Beca, it made it impossible for the smaller girl to put herself together. Beca didn't know what to do so she just dug her nails into her palms. She gripped on so tightly despite the fact that they were becoming sore. My nails dug deep to give herself a better grasp, to give herself one more hope that she would succeed in getting Chloe. A tear rolled down her cheek, but she didn't care.
The nausea swirled unrestrained in her empty stomach. Her head swam with half-formed regrets. Her heart felt as if her blood had become tar as it struggled to keep a steady beat. Her bad mood hung over her like a black cloud, raining her personal sorrow down on her. She would describe her heartache as like an insatiable fire that burnt all the oxygen in my body leaving her listless and empty. Her heartache was like a wolf eating at her chest, tearing its way to her trembling heart.
It felt like a red hot coal was placed in her chest, it glowed and burnt her at the same time, but it did not cool quickly like a coal in water, it throbbed and tortured her and there was no relief to be found. No more tears would come. Her insides still felt as raw as if a winter wind was blowing right through her skin. The kiss haunted her, taunted her, and kept replaying in her mind like a broken record.
Chloe and Chicago broke apart from the kiss. The ginger looked to her side to find Beca and sent her a smile as she held onto Chicago. Beca quickly wiped away her tears and sent Chloe her most believable fake smile. Although, behind the masked smile she wore on her face, there was still sadness and shock. But Beca was strong. She had to be.
Beca considered it a cruelty that a heart can keep on beating even after it has been broken in two. It could feel as though it is being gripped in an ice cold vice and ache as if it will implode in your chest, but still it keeps beating.
Chloe skipped over to Beca and grabbed her hand, leading her back to the group without noticing anything wrong with her. But was Beca the only one hiding how she truly felt about the kiss?
This chapter was written in a hurry so excuse any mistakes. It's only the beginning of the angst so you may proceed at your own risk. Please leave a review if you enjoyed! I already have in mind how this story's going to end so writer's block shouldn't been an issue. An update will come as soon as possible!