Nico di Angelo was fairly sure that he was going mad.
After nearly a week sequestered in his room at the Leaky Cauldron, he'd done everything there was to do at the pub-turned-halfway house. He had turned all of the picture frames upside down without anyone noticing, rearranged the taxidermied animals into a rather rude mass sculpture and befriended Tom, the bartender who never seemed to leave his post, after he served Nico a shot of firewhiskey that nearly burned his eyebrows off.
Everything, except, try to leave.
Nico was worried that if he stepped outside, he wouldn't be able to find the place again. Demigod magic was different from wizard magic, that much he could figure out, and what if the building could sense he wasn't a wizard and refused to appear to him? They must have their own form of the Mist, in charms and cloaks and trinkets. To busy himself, he tried to talk to McGonagall whenever she decided to stop by for a visit, but she was so cryptic that he might as well have been talking to a brick wall.
And that was where he found himself standing on a Saturday afternoon, shoulder to shoulder with the Auror that had bright blue hair, that was now an inexplicable shade of soft rose gold.
"Mr Lupin, if you please," McGonagall said, gesturing to the dead end they found themselves in.
Teddy raised his wand and Nico inhaled sharply. He cracked a smile, that of a jokester who was used to, if not took pleasure in, shocking others.
"No need to panic," said Teddy. "I don't bite." Then, underneath his breath, "...much."
Nico suddenly became intensely interested in the tips of his shoes. Enclosed spaces like this gave him the utter creeps, and that's saying something for a child of the Underworld. He could feel McGonagall's eyes on him and then, as quickly as they came, they shifted towards Teddy.
Teddy's wand tapped the bricks in front of them in an irregular pattern, muttering something under his breath that Nico thought must be an incantation, but could just as easily have been his grocery list. The bricks in front of them shifted to reveal a bustling market place filled to the brim with people.
"You couldn't have told me about this earlier?" Nico asked McGonagall. "I was going insane in that hotel room."
McGonagall shrugged and glided forwards into the fray. "You didn't ask."
Teddy put his wand back in its holster and folded his sleeve downwards to conceal the end. "Don't rag on ol' Minerva too much. You wouldn't have been able to get into Diagon Alley without a wand."
Nico looked out at the cobblestoned street, with the sloping roofs and crooked buildings that were built too close to each other. Strangely enough, it reminded him a lot of camp. The energy about it felt like the closeness he always experienced there. The family.
He made a noncommittal grunt. "Cool."
Before Teddy could even blink, Nico had forged ahead after McGonagall, leaving him in the dust. Nico wasn't sure what it was about Teddy that rubbed him the wrong way, but his presence especially reaffirmed that it was Nico who didn't belong in this world. Even though he was weird, wizards were weirder, and a different type of weird at that. Changing your hair colour at the drop of a hat? Fine. Being plucked from the early 20th century by your godly parent to live in a time stasis at a Las Vegas resort? Too odd.
He was incredibly tired of feeling too odd.
"Keep up, Mr Lupin," McGonagall said as Teddy joined their group. "We have many things to cover today and Mr Potter tells me you have been slacking in your paperwork as of late."
"That is not my fault," Teddy said indignantly. "They wouldn't let me use my Quick-Quotes Quill because it apparently messes with the data input, so I had to do everything by hand."
"So, you had to do your job, then?" McGonagall said dryly. She led them to a small shop a block away from where they had entered Diagon Alley. "Come, we have to get him measured first if the robes are to be done on time."
As soon as Nico entered the store, he was assaulted with the smell of mothballs. It reminded him of his grandmother's house and, oddly, of the cold darkness of the Hera cabin back at camp. The shop was filled to the brim with bolts of fabric and rows of robes hung in haphazard lines. A few measuring tapes were hard at work wrapped around the arms and legs of various customers.
"Ah, Minerva!" came a voice. A woman emerged from a back room and embraces McGonagall warmly. She glanced at Nico. "New student, I presume?"
"Mr di Angelo is a teacher, Madam Malkin," McGonagall corrected. "He needs to be fitted for a basic set of black robes, then two others in a design of his choosing."
"Or I could wear normal clothes, like a normal person," Nico pointed out. Madam Malkin grabbed his wrist and observed his arm, causing him to stumble forwards.
"Muggle clothes will make you stick out like a sore thumb," Teddy said, observing Nico's current state of dress. "And the all-black colour palette doesn't help. My uncle thought you were some sort of revival Death Eater when you made your grand entrance at the Leaky Cauldron."
Nico looked to McGonagall for an explanation as Madam Malkin set her measuring tape to work.
"Dark wizards," she clarified.
He grunted. "Fitting, I suppose."
Teddy's eyes grew dark and his tone lowered. "They're not the type of people you want to be."
"And getting a set of medieval wizard cloaks will help me look less threatening?" Nico asked, his eyebrow raised.
"If you like, we could make them for you in pink," Madam Malkin interjected.
"Black is fine," Nico returned flatly.
"No embroidery? Nothing special?" She looked down at him through a pair of wire-frame spectacles. "Suit yourself. Or rather, I'll suit you. Three sets of robes should be done in around an hour."
Nico was given back control of his arm and he rubbed the spot on his wrist where Madam Malkin had been particularly vicious with her grip. "Thanks."
"You're welcome," she replied. "Di Angelo, was it?"
Nico nodded. Madame Malkin wrote his name down on a piece of parchment with a large purple quill.
"Of the angels," she said with a sigh. "What a lovely name."
He snorted. "Something like that."
McGonagall was quick to shuffle both Nico and Teddy out of Madam Malkin's shop. "We'll return to pick the robes up after lunch!"
Once deposited back onto the crowded sidewalk, McGonagall turned to the pair and gave them both a long list of errands to run.
"I must attend to Hogwarts business today and I trust that you will be able to complete everything on this list before I return," she said sternly. "That means nothing is to be bought from your uncle's joke shop and under no circumstances is Mr di Angelo to come back with any additional piercings or a drastically different hair colour. Am I clear?"
Teddy fought down a snicker and settled for a salute instead. "Crystal clear, Minerva dearest. I'll put my Auror training to good use."
McGonagall eyed him with suspicion then disappeared without a trace into the crowd.
"She's..." Nico's voice trailed off.
"Odd?" Teddy supplied.
"Odd," Nico agreed.
Teddy slung an arm around Nico's shoulders, the shopping list grasped in the other. "C'mon, Nico. Time to get your nipples pierced and your hair dyed green."
They did not, in fact, pierce anything on Nico's body, nor did they take a trip to a salon. Instead, they ventured to Gringotts to open a wizarding bank account for Nico to be used during his time at Hogwarts. Astoundingly, they could change drachmas into wizarding galleons, but they couldn't exchange any of his American dollars. Go figure.
"We don't exchange that kind of muggle currency here," said one goblin as he glanced down at Nico through a pair of weathered, half-moon glasses. "Perhaps the young lord's father could do it."
Nico scowled, the spare American dollars slowly crumbling in one fist. Teddy looked to Nico, then back at the goblin.
"We just need to open a small account so he can get settled at Hogwarts," Teddy said. "At the behest of Minerva McGonagall. Here, she gave me..." He patted down his pockets and eventually emerged with a folded slip of parchment. "This."
The goblin unfolded and read the parchment with a skeptical eye. Now that Nico had looked around the main entryway of Gringotts, almost all goblins peered at him suspiciously. He assumed it was because that they could sense he was a son of Hades, as the current goblin had so astutely inferred, or that he reeked of death. Goblins weren't under Hades' control, but they were creatures of the underground and riches, both part of Hades' domain. Even as creatures from another world they could feel the presence of a god and they didn't seem to like it.
"Alright," the goblin said finally. He came out from behind his podium and led them towards a door in the back of the room. "We will open an account for the young lord, but we will not convert any of those dollars he has. Paper money is utterly useless."
"Of course," Teddy agreed, shuffling along behind the goblin. He turned to Nico and mouthed 'Lord?' with the scandal of a reality star.
Nico glared at him in return.
They entered into what looked to be the beginning of a rollercoaster ride, but it had long fallen into dilapidation. The goblin placed a lantern on a hook and gestured for them to climb into the cart. The metal was slick with damp and the paint had begun peeling off ages ago. Nico hesitantly took a seat before the bar was violently pulled down onto his lap.
"Please keep your hands and feet inside the car at all times," the goblin said, his voice taking on a strange, detached tone.
"Is this really-" Nico began, but was unable to finish when the car lurched along the track at an astounding speed.
They zoomed along past dozens of large metal doors, through caverns that were larger than the whole of Diagon Alley. Nico would have thought it wondrous if he wasn't completely focused on making sure his skin and his skeleton weren't irreparably separated. The bar in the car was of no help whatsoever, as he slid against Teddy several times, nearly throwing him completely off the side at one point.
As suddenly as it had began, they came to a rapid stop in front of a vault that looked nearly identical to all of the rest.
"First stop: Hogwarts Scholarship vault," said the goblin. He exited the car. "Lantern, please."
Teddy handed him the lantern and exited the car as well, looking barely ruffled. He held his hand out for Nico.
"What the fuck kind of bank is this?" Nico stumbled out of the car with the grace of a baby deer. He managed to find his bearings against the wall, but ended up sliding to the floor to stop the world from turning upside down.
"The usual kind." Teddy shrugged.
"I will tell this to you straight, Teddy," Nico said. "This is not how actual banks operate."
The goblin chattered indignantly, a key in his hand. "Step aside, my lord."
Nico scowled at the goblin. "Don't call me that."
The goblin shot him a venomous glare. "Trust me, I don't want to."
Teddy rolled his eyes and held out his hand to help Nico up. He took it, but not without another look in the direction of the goblin.
"Seriously," Teddy said in an aside to Nico. "You are going to have to tell me about this 'lord' thing."
"Aren't you some sort of wizard cop?" Nico asked. He brushed dirt off of his jeans. "Use your superior skills of detection.
"I resent that," Teddy replied. He crossed his arms over his chest. "I'm a wizard detective, thank you."
"Which is why you're babysitting the new teacher at a goddamn magical boarding school, right?" He leaned gingerly against the railing of the rollercoaster car. "Shouldn't you be on a case or something?"
Teddy snorted. "You've ridiculed my ability and my heritage but you haven't once made a crack at my age. I appreciate that."
"What? You're 19, maybe 20?" Nico shrugged. "That's old enough to go on missions."
He couldn't tell if the look Teddy was staring at him with was one of fear or confusion. Surely in the wizarding world children started young as well, just like the godly world. Demigods were used to having to take matters into their own hands these days; they have been for centuries. But wizards, Nico thought, were different. They seemed a lot like mortals in that children are something to protect, not release into the world in a treacherous game of sink or swim. He realized, after a beat, that Teddy bared an expression of fleeting sadness.
"If you're both quite done," the goblin said, waddling out of the vault with a leather pouch full of coins.
Nico and Teddy grabbed the lantern from him and hung it on its respective rung on the car, then got in, Nico with a bit of apprehension this time.
"Ready?" Teddy asked, his tone teasing.
Nico rolled his eyes. "Barely."
Teddy Lupin decided that he rather liked the bizarre new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. Minerva was known for the ability to suss out talent in those who had never thought to recognize it in themselves, but Nico di Angelo was a right conundrum. There was magic in his blood and he did have the ability to do a few spells, but he had neither a wand nor a working knowledge of the wizarding world. Everything they passed seemed foreign to him and, Teddy thought, he would enjoy it exponentially more if he dropped the put-upon air of morose humility. Nico di Angelo was a very peculiar person indeed.
For one, he never went anywhere without a sword strapped to his leg, which in itself would not have been out of place as many Aurors chose another weapon in addition to their wands, but he never left the Leaky Cauldron without it and, according to a few patrons, often wore it about the pub like a normal accessory. He was never clothed in anything other than black, the complete opposite of Teddy's bright and outlandish wardrobe that he wore on the regular, and took to letting his hair fall over his eyes. He wondered how many hours Nico spent looking in the mirror, attempting to muss his light waves so they laid just so.
But now, after a trip to Madam Malkin's, an eventful hour opening an account at Gringotts, and a most unpleasant time spent with Ollivander's apprentice in an attempt to procure a wand, they had made their way to Flourish and Botts for a more normal shopping outing. Teddy had concluded that Nico wasn't used to such a day and he definitely wasn't used to having things bought for him.
"The students learn defense from books?" Nico held the Defense Against the Dark Arts textbook in the air from one corner, his nose wrinkled.
"Yeah," Teddy said. "They need to learn it somehow. How did you go about it?"
He scuffed his shoes against the hardwood floor. "Experience. Nothing's a better teacher than that."
"Well, considering there's a serious lack of dark wizards roaming the grounds at Hogwarts," Teddy snatched the book from Nico's hand and place it in the basket. "A book will have to do. I heard they're replacing the whole set at Hogwarts, which is great. They were falling apart when I went to school."
"You went to Hogwarts?" Nico looked him up and down.
"Yeah," Teddy said slowly. "Why?"
Nico made a noise. "Nothing. You just don't look like the type."
"It's a school," Teddy said as if it was obvious. "Every type goes there. What school did you go to?"
Nico stepped in front of him, perusing the stacks of books. "I didn't." He disappeared down another aisle.
Teddy shook his head, attempting to file away the details Nico kept dropping like bread crumbs for later, but he couldn't get the boy out of his mind. It was like having only a few pieces of a thousand-part puzzle that he had to assemble in the dark. With his hands tied behind his back. He sighed and looked at the list that Minerva had given him and walked towards the other side of the store when he ran into someone, nearly falling flat on his face in the process.
"Oh!" exclaimed a girl. "I am terribly sorry."
Teddy froze. He'd know that voice anywhere.
Victoire.
"No problem," he managed to stutter out. Teddy regained his balance quickly to come face to face with the most gorgeous girl he had ever known and the most gorgeous girl he'd even broken the heart of.
"Oh, Teddy," she said. Her long, blond hair spilled out over her shoulders. She seemed the smallest bit disappointed. "Hi."
"Victoire," he replied, his voice stilted. "I thought you were still in France."
"I was. We just got back yesterday and Mum remembered that I had to pick up a few things for my NEWTS." She held tight to the basket full of books.
"Cool," Teddy said. His throat had gone dry.
They stood like that for several awkward minutes before Nico emerged from the stacks, a few books in his hands.
"I don't know what kind of planning resources I'm expected to have, but this was the only notebook that didn't look like it was made from the backside of a drag-" Nico noticed Victoire for the first time, the leather planner falling into the basket from his now-slack grip. "Oh. Hello."
"Ted," Victoire said. "Would you care to introduce us?"
"Right," Teddy replied. "Victoire, this is Professor di Angelo, your new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. Nico, this is Victoire, a friend from school."
Victoire held her hand out for Nico to shake. "And ex-girlfriend. He doesn't like to say that part aloud."
Nico took Victoire's hand and looked between her and Teddy as if trying to create a map of the wizarding relationships he'd encountered thus far. It could have been Teddy's imagination, but he thought Nico looked crestfallen.
"Nice to meet you," Nico said. "I'll probably have you in my class this year."
"Oh," Victoire said. "I'm not taking DADA to NEWTS, but you'll have my siblings."
Nico looked to Teddy, his brow furrowed.
"Acronym for the defense class," he explained. "NEWTS are the highest qualification you can get in a subject. Don't ask me what it stands for; I've forgotten it by now."
"Right." Nico pressed his lips together. "Well, we've got to get going. Don't we, Teddy?"
Teddy missed a beat but nodded, turning in the direction of the till. "See you later, Victoire."
"Yeah," she said, her voice icy. "See you."
They paid and exited the shop as quickly as they could. Teddy let out a large sigh and leaned against a lamppost that marked the edge of the sidewalk.
"Aren't you going to ask?" Teddy said, his eyes closed as he attempted to catch his breath.
"Your love life doesn't interest me," Nico replied flatly.
"Victoire's family is part of one of the most powerful families in the British wizarding world," Teddy said. "I'm surprised we escaped unscathed. I was sure one of her cousins was going to jump up and beat me to a bloody pulp for daring to speak to her."
"Like I said, your love life doesn't interest me."
Teddy opened one eye to get a look at Nico, who was moodily kicking a pebble along the cobblestoned path of Diagon Alley. He scratched the back of his neck.
"Well, I would consider you a friend," Teddy said.
"I'm not a friend, I'm an assignment," Nico replied. "Or are Aurors not taught professionalism in this half of the world?"
Teddy bristled at Nico's words and was readying a reply when McGonagall appeared by their side, her robes fluttering in the slight breeze of the alleyway.
"No tattoos and no piercings," she remarked, looking Nico up and down. "Good work, Mr Lupin."
"The tattoos are just where you can't see them, professor." Teddy grinned.
She shot him a stern look, amplified by her piercing eyes. "I trust you found everything alright?"
"Why didn't you tell me there'd be goblins during this trip to the mall?" Nico said.
"They're loyal to your father," McGonagall replied. "You shouldn't have had any problems."
"Under his domain and being loyal are two completely different things." Nico's eyes were dark. "They nearly killed me trying to open up a bank account."
"Oh, they do that to everyone. You're not special in that regard. Now, we must pick up the robes or Madam Malkin will add enough trim to drown a horse." Minerva turned on her heel.
"Come along, boys."