II. The Thrill of the Chase
In my line of work, it is rare that I find myself in a situation in which I am required to discuss my own mind, my own thoughts, my own goals and my own tactics, rather than those of another. I could go so far as to say that I am in fact uncharacteristically passive in my relations with others: while other people are constantly informing me of their interpretations of my character, I rarely offer a response. In particular, I have noted more than once that the investigators I communicate with are surprisingly unafraid to criticise me. It would be comforting to think that they are simply unaware of the power I yield, but I am aware that it is most likely due to the typical human inability to think of others as people unless they are directly in front of them. This is of no concern to me, and may even prove beneficial in the future, but one cannot be on the receiving end of so much analysis without engaging in some way with the thoughts being offered.
One opinion that I have heard expressed is that my methods are reckless, even foolish. While I do wonder how those that hold these opinions reconcile them with the evidence available, I can appreciate that my tactics are often dangerous and are avoided by all of my rivals. However, this may be one reason why I, unafraid to visit crime scenes, confront suspects directly and so on, have emerged as the leading mind in the field. By taking these risks, I earn the advantage of unfiltered information: clues drawn from body language, facial nuances, social strata, the precise structures of a conversation and other such sources, impossible to detect by any other method.
Then there are those that call me selfish. I have never denied possessing such a trait, nor do I intend to. While there is no doubt that the work I do proves beneficial to others, in this capacity my talents only become useful after a crime has already occurred. It is not what happens before a murder is committed, and the ways to prevent such an event from occurring, that interests me: I only involve myself in the process that takes place afterwards. I am in fact driven by the purely personal motive of simple enjoyment; I think it is called the thrill of the chase. The fact that there is a popular phrase for it at least proves that I am not the only one to revel in such a thing- indeed, I believe that one cannot reach my level of expertise without a selfish motivation. Nevertheless, I appreciate that this does not excuse my treatment of the people I deal with.
Elementary psychology states that people grow accustomed to living and being treated in a certain manner, and begin to behave as if this treatment is certain to be delivered- a self-fulfilling prophecy if ever there was one. My own case would seem to uphold the theory. Throughout my life, I have always been the most intelligent in any group of people I found myself placed among. Additionally, I have been kept in isolation: constantly protected, my abilities nurtured, my needs catered to. Looking at it from an outsider's perspective, it is no wonder that I began to treat solving cases as entertainment and their perpetrators as inanimate objects to catch and add to my collection.
Light Yagami is different, and rightly so. He too has been cherished and encouraged; he too is used to looking on other people as nothing but pawns in his personal game of chess. We share, I believe, more similarities than differences. Just knowing that he, like me, will never back down, never yield, never allow himself to be used while himself constantly attempting to manipulate- this excites me more than a thousand other, more routine cases ever could. As for what happens when two such similar yet opposing forces confront each other, even from an objective standpoint I am eager to find out.
Author's notes: Next one up in a week or so. As ever, reviews would be greatly appreciated.