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Part II:
When Rachel emerged from the bathroom, she was surprised to only see Matt looking at his coffee like it held the world's secrets. She went to take some for herself, feeling uneasy in his presence.
"So where are the others?" She finally asked, sipping on her coffee,
"Sam went with Santana to the bus station. Puck I dunno, maybe he took off too?" He shrugged.
She managed to mumble an "okay", but her mind was already racing as much as her heart. Could Noah really be gone like that? Looking around she couldn't see his jacket or any of the stuff he'd brought with him. Her hands started shaking badly, so she put her mug in the sink and made her way to the nearest window, maybe some fresh air would help calm her nerves.
She was so out of it that she didn't hear Matt moving until she felt his breath on her neck.
"So you totally killed the mood last night Missy."
She froze then took a step closer to the window to put some space between like the night before he was having none of it. He was still in her personal space.
"What, cat got your tongue? That would be a shame," he chuckled darkly, caressing her arms. She shivered and felt sick.
Suddenly the front door opened, Rachel turned around and looked behind Matt's shoulder, it was Sam and Noah.
"Noah you're back" she exclaimed,
"Too early?" He raised an eyebrow at her. She used this distraction to slide pass Matt and went back to the kitchen, her arms around herself, murmuring "No thank God" when she passed the two boys.
Noah's eyes widened before glaring at Matt who smirked in response. She helped the boys set up the breakfast and they all ate it at the big table.
Noah sat next to Rachel, he sensed her uneasiness so he discretely put his hand on her knee under the table, she relaxed under his touch allowing her hand to rest on top of his hand. This simple gesture gave Rachel the boost of confidence she needed after the awkward morning.
Around eleven, Matt finally took off, telling Puck that he hoped they'd keep in touch before winking at Rachel, who shivered once again moving away from him.
Sam excused himself to take a shower. This was it, they were alone. Not sure what to do with herself, Rachel tackled the dishes. Noah insisted on helping; she washed and he dried.
"I thought you left this morning," she mumbled.
"I would never have left without telling you baby. I went out to buy some stuff for breakfast, thought you'd like it..."
"Oh okay," she replied feeling stupid for always thinking the worst.
"Did, did I interrupt something with Matt by the way?" He asked uncharacteristically nervous.
Rachel smiled despite the situation, she wasn't the only one feeling insecure.
"No you came back before he got too handsy actually." He noticed the shaking of her hands so he stopped her and took them in his own.
"Hey you okay? Did he hurt you?" She shrugged and shook her head. Noah pulled her into a hug, his hands on her waist.
"He was testing me, it was just words and he wanted to taunt you too, guess it was payback for last night?"
"I didn't like the way he looked at you since we arrived yesterday ..." Noah said through gritted teeth,
"Noah, I- it wasn't some kind of bet between you right?" She looked up at him biting her lip. He traced her lips with his thumb and sighed.
"Never, I might be an ass but I don't play girls like that." She locked eyes with him and inhaled deeply.
"Okay, I believe you." His eyes widened at her simple confession.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah," she nodded beaming at him surprised by the ease she felt around him. He placed his hand on her cheek and leaned in, she went to do the same too-
I can feel your heartbeat (she said to me)
I can feel your heartbeat (she said to me)
I can feel your heartbeat (running through me)
Your heartbeat, feel your heartbeat
"Hey man, you didn't tell me where you were going this time by the way," Sam said joining them in the kitchen. Puck and Rachel put some distance between themselves and sat on the island bar in front of Sam.
"Hawaii, I have an early flight tomorrow actually" Puck replied,
"Ya know what kind of campaign you're gonna do?"
Rachel looked at their exchange totally oblivious of their conversation,
"My agent told me it was for swim trunks mostly..." Puck saw the confused look on Rachel's face so he turned to her,
"I'm a model for sport clothes, I only do photo shoots for ads no runway"
"Wow that's amazing Noah" she smiled genuinely at him, he shrugged,
"It's not bad and it pays a lot",
"Yeah and don't forget the chicks dude, girls dig models!" Sam exclaimed, high fiving Puck.
Rachel's eyes fell to her lap, cursing herself for having already forgotten about Puck's habits and life style. Puck took her hand in his, she tried to free it, but he gripped it tighter.
"Yeah but you know I'm getting tired of all the fakeness. The fawning girls get a little old, I want more now," he replied while squeezing Rachel's hand to make her understand. She laced his fingers through hers, showing without words that she got the message.
"Don't get me wrong Noah, I find this awesome but what about football? Do you manage to balance both, how does it work?" She remembered Sam talking often about Puck's performances in the past.
As soon as she'd uttered those words, Puck dropped her hand and clenched his jaw. A feeling of pure coldness invaded the room and her heart. Sam looked at her like she'd made a huge mistake while also feeling sorry for Puck.
She stole a glance at Puck. He was fixated the table, a faraway look in his eyes, his fists clenching and unclenching in synch with his thoughts.
Feeling really bad and seeing that Noah was too far gone to hear anything she had to say, Rachel decided to leave. It was for the best, she'd obviously said something that really hurt him. She hugged Sam briefly, both saying they were sorry. She looked one last time towards Puck who hadn't moved, sighed heavily, before leaving with tears in her eyes and a heavy heart.
As soon as Rachel had uttered the words, a cold feeling ran up his spine. Puck was already reliving that night where it all ended and his careless lifestyle began.
He was angry at her for making him go back there. He couldn't get past that slip. All the moments they'd shared couldn't overcome those few words... The anger he felt towards himself and his fate was coming back in full force.
After a while, Puck felt a hand on his shoulder.
"Hey man," he pulled away from Sam's touch.
"Don't Sam, just don't okay", he replied, moving his hand over his face several times.
"Ya know it's not her fault."
"What?"
"She is not responsible for your injury."
Puck growled, "I know that."
Sam rolled his eyes, "Do you, really?"
He stood up, getting all up in Sam's face before all but shouting at him,
"Of course and she knows that, right Rachel?"
When his question was met with silence Puck finally took a look around him. He realized she was gone, he'd shut down so badly, he hadn't seen or felt her leave the room, never mind the house.
But now he knew, his heart was pounding frantically in his chest. The thought of losing her, actually the fact that he'd already lost her, made his heart ache.
Sam was right. The way he'd reacted to her question, a simple question, made him go insane and he needed to fix that. Damn it, why two years later, was he still so affected by that event. He was over it, or he'd thought he was.
Shit Rachel, he had to make it right, knowing instantly that in order to fix things, he had to find her.
Puck's head was spinning, only this time the rage was directed at himself, and his foul temper. He punched the wall near the front door, but of course it didn't make it anything better. Somehow seeing his hand bleeding took away from the pain in his heart, not a permanent solution but for now it would do.
