"Does the Hatter make hats?" I asked while we were walking to the White Queen's castle.
"He did, yes." The Mouse said.
"I like his hat now, actually." The Cheshire Cat said.
"Yeah." I sighed.
"What is it, Abbott?" The Mouse asked.
"Look what I did to the Hatter. All because I smell like Alice." I put my palm on my face.
"It's not your fault, not really. We just need someone to defeat the Red Joker." The Mouse said.
"Ms. Dormouse, I truly wonder if Abbott knows who the Red Joker is." The Cheshire Cat said.
"Your name's Dormouse?" I asked.
"Didn't you read our story?" The Dormouse asked.
"No, but I wish I did." I said.
"Never thought you'd meet us, I bet." The Dormouse said. "Just call me Dora, anyways. The Red Joker is the new villain for you. He's been altering things so they're nothing like Wonderland, trying to make Wonderland like Alice's world."
"It's changed us, too." The Cheshire Cat said. "The Rabbit can't see above because the Red Joker to keep him down here. Every time the White Rabbit leaves, a bit of our world 'corrupts' yours. So far, it's not noticeable, but if he keeps at it..."
"I got to fix this." I said.
"Yes, you do." A giant butterfly said, blowing smoke at me. I coughed, then looked up, trying to see the butterfly.
"Don't do that, Butterfly. Alice hated that!" Dora scolded.
"Force of habit." The giant Butterfly said, blowing smoke rings as he landed on a flower that was triple my size. "So, you're the new Alice?"
"Don't compare me to Alice, or I won't match up to her." I said.
"Maybe if we compare you to her she won't match up to you." The Butterfly said. "But-" He said, interrupting my 'thank you', "You probably won't."
"Thanks." I sighed, walking towards the white castle.
"Hello Abbott." The White Queen said. She was young and very beautiful, if a bit ethereal because of her white hair.
"Hi, uh, your majesty." I said, my mouth going dry.
"This is the new Alice." The Butterfly said.
"Don't call me that." I said.
"When I saw Alice she was very tall." The White Queen said.
I shrugged. "Might as well be normal sized, save the trouble of eating that cake."
"Where's the Hatter?" A young woman with long white hair and a long white dress said, walking out of the castle.
"Dressmaker, we have a guest here." The White Queen said.
"Sorry your majesty." The Dressmaker curtsied. "Who is he.
"Abbott Kingsley,-" The White Queen looked at me.
I shrugged again. "I don't know how many greats you should say."
"Abbott Kingsley, relative of the 'I don't know how many greats you should say' Alice." The White Queen said.
"No, I mean I don't know how far along the line I am to...never mind." I said, then took a bow.
"Uh, hi, Abbott, relative of the-" The Dressmaker began.
"It's just Abbott." I said.
"Sure. Where's the Hatter?" The Dressmaker asked.
"In an unhappy hump on a stump." The Cheshire Cat said.
"Huh?" The Dressmaker asked. She was more normal than the other Wonderlanders.
"He's taken the news of Alice's death hard." I explained.
"As have we all." The White Queen said.
"When is he getting here?" The Dressmaker asked.
"I am here, but my old self will take a while yet." The Hatter said, walking through the gates.
"Hey Hatter." I said, making sure to stay far away from him.
"Hello not-Alice." The Hatter said.
The White Queen smiled at me. "Are you hungry, Abbott?"
"Yes." I said. I hadn't ate breakfast or lunch in Alice's world, but I was too depressed to feel hunger there. In Wonderland, I couldn't worry about Grandpa and was feeling the missed meals.
"Have you ever had frigglegaggle?" The White Queen asked.
"No." I said.
"They're delicious! Come, come, and we'll eat some." The White Queen said.
"I thought rhyming was my thing." The Cheshire Cat said.
"And you do it very well. I've never seen you fail at a rhyme, an-" I stopped myself. "Now I'm rhyming."
"Yes, dear, and it's quite queer." Dora said.
"Let's just eat." The White Queen said.
"Yeah." I said. I followed her to a large dining room with some weird meat and vegetables on the plate, with fruit in the middle of the table.
"Oh! They have snigsnog!" Dora said.
"Could someone please tell the Alice-lander what these foods are?" I asked.
"That purple fruit is snigsnog, the yellow meat frigglegaggle, and the green vegetable brokalok." The Cheshire Cat said.
"Why is everything oddly named here?" I asked.
"Those are perfectly reasonable names not-Alice." The Hatter said.
"I don't think so. I think a name like 'apple' is more reasonable." I said.
"Apple? What kind of silly name is that?" Dora said.
"I wish I read Alice in Wonderland. Of course, I don't think it would tell how crazy this world really is." I sighed.
"Hatter, are you okay?" The Dressmaker said.
"No, I'm Mad." The Hatter said.
"Are you related to the Hatter?" I asked The Dressmaker.
"I think of him as an Uncle." She said, and I popped a piece of frigglegaggle into my mouth.
"Not too bad." I said. "Tastes like tuna."
"There you go again spouting nonsense." Dora said.
"Whatever." I said.