Special thanks to Alara Rodgers for her note on French grammar. I don't speak French...I probably shouldn't try to write it either...
This chapter's for The Mythical Pen, who sent me a desperate plea for a new one.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Oh..." thought Kathryn.
For a moment, her hormones and reacted to the firm, sweet pressure of Q's mouth on hers. Warmth washed over her, and she had to force herself to breathe. It felt so good to be held, wanted, desirable, and all those other wonderful feelings she'd been denied here in the Delta Quadrant.
Noting her lack of protest, Q slid his arms around her waist and crushed her to his chest. Kathryn gasped into his mouth, and he kissed her harder. His lips trailed down length of her cheekbone to nibble on the sensitive place just beneath her ear.
Kathryn's eyes flew open at the shock of lust that raced through her whole body, but as the sensation eased, and the room returned to focus; Kathryn was overcome with horror.
She pushed Q roughly away, and her hand automatically reached up to cover the side of her neck as though to protect it from his tingling ministrations.
"Too rough?" Q queried—his face a study in curiosity and concern.
"Get out!" she snarled.
Q raised an eyebrow, looking surprised, but he quickly regained his composure. Clucking his tongue at her and shaking his head at the same time, his expression became teasing.
"Surely you don't mean that, my dear."
"I most certainly do!" Kathryn huffed.
"Now, now," Q held up his hands in quelling gesture. "We were having a lovely moment there, dear Kathy. Don't spoil it...you were doing so well..."
He moved towards her again, but Kathryn ducked past him and walked off the dais to her desk. Grabbing the large vase of roses, she walked back up to him.
"Leave," she said again, pushing the vase into his hands. "And take these damn things with you."
She could feel Q watching her as she stalked back to her desk and sat down. She made a show of picking up a PADD and giving it her full attention. To a Starfleet officer, this action would signal the end of the conversation...but it wouldn't work on Q. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him follow her down and stand in front of her desk.
There was silence.
Determined not to look up, Kathryn continued to tap away at the PADD, locked in a silent battle of wills. She could feel him standing there, staring at her. It was as if every molecule in her body were attuned to his presence.
Don't look up, she thought to herself. He'll go away eventually if you don't acknowledge him. Don't look up, don't look up, don'tlookup, don'tlookup...
Suddenly, the PADD in her hand disappeared.
She looked up at Q in annoyance to find him smirking at her.
"Cheater," she hissed. Q's smirk only grew wider. With a flash, the missing PADD reappeared in his hand, and he pretended to study it with mock seriousness.
"Photon counts...Plasma emissions...What a dismal way to look at a nebula, Kathy."
"Yes, well, it works for me. Give that back, Q!"
He artfully dodged her questing hand, standing to face her, tapping the PADD against his chin thoughtfully.
"How would you like see that nebula with your own eyes, ma capitaine?"
"No, thank-you."
"Why not? It would make a lovely first date, don't you think?"
"No, I don't."
Q chuckled.
"You're lying, Kathy dear. I see it on your face."
Kathryn shot Q her best glare, reserved for only the worst of trespassers.
"What is my face telling you now, Q?"
Instantly the smirk vanished, and the PADD reappeared back in her hand.
"Spoil my fun, why don't you?" Q sighed with mock exasperation. "Very well, I'll take my leave..."
Kathryn smiled triumphantly to herself. She turned to look at Q, and found him leaning on her desk, face inches away from hers.
"...but don't worry," he whispered, his eyes boring into her own. "I came prepared for a challenge. I'll be back."
He pressed his lips to hers in kiss too quick for her to dodge, raised his eyebrow at her, and in a flash...disappeared.
Kathryn slumped in her chair for a moment before pressing her com-badge.
"Janeway to the bridge...Intruder alert."
The rest of the day passed without any more interruptions from Q, but that didn't stop Kathryn from looking over her shoulder every five seconds. Even though she couldn't see him, she knew he was there...watching...
Her shift on the bridge ended at 1700 hours. The Captain did her best to ignore the twinge she felt in her stomach as she watched Chakotay leave, no doubt on his way to have dinner with Seven. Harry approached her and mentioned a new holodeck program he, Tom, and B'Elanna were planning to try together for dinner, and wouldn't she like to come along? Kathryn appreciated the invite, but politely declined. No matter how close she was to her crew, she would never be their equal. She knew the three of them were looking to have a night of fun, and her presence, not matter how much she tried to fit in, would dampen the mood.
Sighing, Kathryn retreated to her Ready Room as the second shift came to take over the bridge. She would replicate something and finish up a few of the more tedious reports she always liked to put off.
Her first thought was to replicate a cup of coffee to sharpen her mind for the boredom ahead, but there was already a steaming hot mug of it on her desk. Suprised, Kathryn thought she'd maybe forgotten it there, but realized that it was too warm to have been sitting out all this time.
It occurred to her that the coffee could be from Q as she picked it up and inhaled the pungent aroma. It smelled too good to be replicated coffee. Hoping it wasn't laced with something foul, Kathryn took a small sip. Delicious.
She allowed herself a wry smile, and mentally thanked the omnipotent being for the treat.
Several hours later, Kathryn signed off on the last of Tuvok's arse-numbingly dull maintenance reports. She knew now why she'd put these off for so long. Leaning back and rubbing the kink in her neck, she wondered what to start on next, but then her stomach grumbled loudly. Dinner...she'd forgotten to replicate some.
The door chime sounded.
"Come," called Kathryn, pushing Tuvok's reports aside on her desk. Chakotay entered. The door whooshed shut behind him.
"Duty Roster for next week," he said, handing her a PADD. Kathryn took it and looked it over briefly.
"Looks fine to me, Commander," she said, wondering if maybe he wasn't having dinner with Seven. Maybe they could have dinner like they used to. She'd burn some pot roast, he'd bring the wine...she casually mentioned it to him. He frowned and shook his head.
"I'm afraid I have other plans," he said. "Rain check?" Something hurt inside, but she ignored it and smiled.
"Of course."
She handed the duty roster back to him and pulled her computer closer to her, subtly signaling to him that he should leave. He didn't. She looked up at his deliberating face. Hope rose inside her...maybe he was changing his mind?
"Was there something else?" Kathryn asked kindly.
"Well..." Chakotay began. "I was wondering if you'd heard anything else from Q."
Ah, Kathryn thought.
"No," she replied. "Nothing so far," she gave him a penetrating look. "Why do you ask?"
"Curious, is all," Chakotay answered. "Well, anxious is more like it. I fell like we're waiting for a bomb to drop."
We? Hardly.
"What makes you think that? That something bad is coming?" Kathryn asked.
"It always does, doesn't it?" Chakotay said, answering her question with a question. She felt a flash of annoyance. She hated it when he did that.
"Not always," said Kathryn. "I feel like this time is different." Truthfully, she wasn't so sure, but she felt like arguing with him. "I feel Q is being upfront about his intentions this time, not merely using them as a smokescreen for something else."
Chakotay scoffed, which made her frown. Was it so impossible to believe that someone would pursue her romantically? Just a month ago, she would have sworn Chakotay fell into that same category.
"I think you should be careful," Chakotay said. Somehow, those words seemed patronizing. Kathryn was quickly growing tired of this whole conversation. Chakotay moved forward to sit on the edge of her desk. In the old days, she'd appreciated such casual behavior from him, because it was a reminder of how special their relationship was, a reflection of their closeness. Now, she found his actions intrusive and just a little disrespectful. It wasn't fair that he was still acting just like the old Chakotay, pretending that nothing had changed between them, when it had. It all had changed. Their quiet commitment to each other no longer existed, and everything he did was a constant reminder of that fact. She was unsure of where she stood with him, and a little unsure of where she stood with herself.
In the end, she knew it was futile to try and regain what she thought they'd had. It wouldn't happen. And she could never confront him about it, as that would only make the situation more awkward. Her best friend and the man she'd silently loved for years, had betrayed her for another woman, and she had to deal with it, as gut-wrenching, agonizing and awkward as it was.
"Of course I'll be careful," she sighed, breaking away from her thoughts. "I've dealt with Q before. I don't believe he means me any harm. He'll lose interest in a few days, and that will be the end of it."
"Oh!" cried a dramatic voice from the corner. "I'm certainly not that shallow, ma capitaine! You've truly captured my heart! Your brains! Your beauty! Katherine, my dear, who in the universe could be foolish enough not to fall desperately in love with you?
Q glanced pointedly at Chakotay, who had the good sense to blush in embarrassment at his implications.
"Back again, are you?" the Commander growled.
"Once again, Chuckles, your prowess at stating the obvious becomes apparent. Well done." Q sneered, clasping sarcastically.
"I suppose the real question is why have you returned, Q?" said the Captain, quietly enjoying the frustration on Chakotay's face.
"And of course, you're correct Captain, "Q replied solicitously.
"Not that it matters," Chakotay scoffed. "We're not interested in your little games, Q."
"Well, I can't say I'm very interested in you either, Commander," countered Q in his most disdainful tone. "Kathy, my dear," he went on in an entirely different voice. "Might I have a word with you in private?"
"Leave her alone, Q. She doesn't care what you have to say!"
I don't? Kathryn looked at her first officer.
"I think the Captain knows how to answer for herself, Chuckles," Q reminded him viciously.
"Kathryn?" Chakotay turned to look at her, his expression defiant. In the old days, when they'd been a team, it didn't matter that he occasionally took the lead or spoke in her place, because he'd always said exactly what she wanted to say, but not anymore. It was a mark of how much they'd deteriorated as a pair. She'd trusted him then, but now...
"Actually, Commander," she said slowly, hating herself for every word. "I would like a moment to speak with Q, if you don't mind." She'd meant for the "if you don't mind" part to imply that it would matter to her if he really did mind, but somehow it came out wrong. "If you don't mind...you obnoxious son of a bitch" was how it actually sounded. Kathryn winced internally. Chakotay seemed to deflate a bit before nodding.
"Of course...Captain..."
Ahh, the undercurrents in this conversation...she thought dryly.
"You heard her, Chuckles. Run along," sang Q, and before Chakotay could protest, he'd disappeared. Janeway scowled at Q. "No worries, my dear. I simply put him on the bridge," he said, sitting on the same corner of her desk that Chakotay had vacated.
"Was that really necessary?" she frowned, and made shoo-ing motions. "Get off please.
"Yes, of course," said Q, rising gracefully. "He was annoying me."
He said it so matter-of-factly that Kathryn had to suppress a grin.
"I'll ask you to treat the members of my crew with a bit more respect in the future," said Janeway, making the warning not in her voice clear.
"Anything for you, darling Kathy." Q replied with a twinkle in his eye. "And I do mean anything."
"What do you want, Q?" Kathryn asked, continuing to rub her neck absently.
"Have dinner with me," he demanded
"No."
"Yes."
"I can't. I'm working," she said calmly.
"Correction, you're overworking, Kathy dear."
"I've been putting these reports off for weeks. If I don't finish them now, I never will," she said, picking up another PADD. Q picked up a PADD from the same pile, read the title, and winced.
"Surely you'd rather be dinning with me than reading these dreadful things, admit it," Q taunted, replacing the PADD on her desk.
Of course I would, she thought. I'd rather be anywhere right now.
"I'm sorry if my responsibilities bore you, Q, but I really do need to finish these."
Q pouted.
"I'm starting to think you don't enjoy my company, Ma capitaine."
Janeway suppressed a grin. Q spotted it and gave her a look of horror.
"Oh Kathy!" he cried dramatically. "I never knew you were such a tease! To kiss me so passionately and then take it all away..."
"Kiss YOU?" Kathryn cried. "I did no such thing!"
"No, no," sniffed Q, waving his hands and stopping her short. "I see how it truly is. You've cut me deep in my little Q heart. I don't see how I shall ever recover..."
"I'm sure you'll survive," she said, rolling her eyes and turning her attention back to the PADD.
"Oh Kathy! What horrible cruelty!" Q exclaimed, and buried his face in his hand.
The captain ignored him for a few minutes...but then she heard him sob, quietly.
"Q?" she asked, looking up from her work.
He sobbed again.
"Q..." she said warningly. He sobbed again and turned away.
"Look, Q..." she began feeling a little awkward.
"No! I don't want your pity!" Q hissed, and strode up the dais to stare out the window. "I shall never be loved. It's something I have to accept."
Kathryn stood and followed him to the window. He turned and would not face her.
"I'm sorry Q," she said. "I didn't mean to hurt you."
No response.
"It's nothing personal...I'm just not in a position to have a relationship with someone."
Q emitted a bitter, "Ha," something that sounded like "Chakotay," and another sob. A large, white handkerchief appeared in his hand, and Q blew his nose quite loudly.
"Q," said Katherine. "If there were something I could do..."
Suddenly Q whirled around, smiled deviously, and grasped both her hands in his own.
"Have dinner with me," he said, waggling his eyebrows at her.
"You're insufferable," Kathryn snarled, realizing it was all an act. She pulled her hands from his and turned to march back down to her desk. "Get out!"
Suddenly, a strong arm caught her around the waist, pinning her arms to her sides, and pulled her back against a warm body. Kathryn froze.
"Insufferable, am I?" his voice was warm and teasing near her ear. She could feel his breath against it, sending shivers all over, and causing goose bumps to rise painfully on her arms.
"Q..."
"Shh, darling." He whispered into her neck. "I'm well aware of how 'insufferable' you find me..."
She felt paralyzed, aroused, and mortified all at once...
"But oh...sweet Kathy..." sighed Q, burying his face in her hair and planting a searing kiss at the base of her neck, "how I'd love you to suffer me..."
Kathryn's legs began to buckle; she was so on fire she couldn't see straight. She wanted him so bad the space between her lags ached with it. There was only one thing she could do...
"Janeway to Security! Intruder alert!"
Behind her, Q groaned in annoyance.
"You little minx," he chuckled admiringly in her ear. "Always playing games..."
The door to her ready room hissed open. Tuvok and two other security officers charged inside.
"Q," said Tuvok, aiming his phaser at the omnipotent being. "Please release the Captain."
"How do you think he meant that, my dear?" Q whispered solicitously in her ear while simultaneously running a fingertip out of sight, down the base of her spine. Kathryn shivered.
"Well, ma capitaine, I see your security team has taken it upon themselves to crash our little rendezvous," Q said, loudly enough for everyone to hear. "Perhaps we should go someplace a little more private..."
Kathryn turned and looked up at him in realization of what he was about to do.
"I'm not going anywhere," she stated as firmly as she could manage.
"O contraire, ma capitaine," said Q, grinning wickedly. "We're going...out."
He kissed her just as they both disappeared.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Review if you liked it! -Coffee