A/N: So... I was bored last night doing homework and this appeared. It was supposed to be a lot more humorous. Enjoy and review.
A Desire To Be Captain
"And who might this be? You are neither dead nor dying."
Jack squinted through the pouring rain at the squid-like creature in front of him. "Nor do I plan to be any time soon. Good day to you all." He turned to walk away.
"No one leaves the Dutchman."
Jack stopped, mid-step, and raised his eyebrows. "You must be the infamous Davey Jones." He bowed with a large flourish. "Very pleased finally meet your Lordship. Very pleased. I am Jack Sparrow."
"Enough!" Jones spat. "What were ye doing on that ship?"
"Actually, your… Squidlyness, I came with a proposition for you."
"Really." The captain said, giving Jack a skeptical look. "And what might that be?"
"Well, you see, I have a desire to be captain."
"Well, I fail to see how I can be of service, Captain."
Jack cut him off. "I have a desire to be captain of the Black Pearl."
The crew looked surprised and began murmuring amongst themselves. One that resembled a shark said, "The Pearl went down years ago."
Jack smiled. "Ah. But where did it go? For those of you with tiny fish-brains, I'll tell you: Davey Jones' Locker." He looked at Jones.
Jones made a popping noise with his lips as he considered what Jack had suggested. "I notice you fail to mention what you plan to offer in return."
"Of course, you'll get fifty percent of me plunder!"
"Ach. I've no use for plunder. You can have the Pearl, in exchange for one hundred years in my service."
Jack looked around at the crewmembers and wrinkled his nose. "I'm afraid I can't. I don't have the face for tentacles." He mimed tentacles growing from his chin. "Now, if I could choose what sort of fishy-creature I become, that might be different. Sea turtle perhaps?"
"We've no need to discuss the terms. This is my ship and you will join my crew or die. You can take the Pearl if you so choose, but you simply put off the choice." As he spoke, the sea swelled and rolled, heaving up the Black Pearl from its depths.
Jack looked between the Pearl and Jones. "I'll guess this means I'll be taking the Pearl then, eh?"
Jones handed him a rope and Jack swung to the deck of the Black Pearl. Jones yelled across the distance to Jack after he landed.
"I return in thirteen years." As Jones talked, the Dutchman began to submerge. "You will choose, Captain Sparrow."
When Jack was alone, he smiled. "Captain Jack Sparrow."
Then he frowned. "How am I going to sail this all by me onesie?"