The Missing Memories: Part One
Qui-Gon kept his back to the room, staring stonily out the large window. He was all but ignoring the representatives behind him. Their constant, pointless chatter was like an annoying buzz in his ear. There was no need to hear the same apologies, reassurances, and arguments that had been ringing in his ears since Obi-Wan went missing…since he was taken. His body was tense. He couldn't focus on anything, but his padawan.
It wasn't supposed to be like this. The mission as just suppose to be hard negotiation. There wasn't anything like a corrupt politician to deal with or an underlying plot for power. It was just a simply negotiation between a group of scientists and the planets government. It was an ethical battle, if it was right to do a brain study on sentient beings. The brain study in question was the right to mess with memories of living creatures. It was a simple, headache type of mission that shouldn't have led to a missing boy. Shouldn't have, but did.
He kept his face passive, but inside he was roaring with concern. He watched the heavy snow fall absentminded. He tried several times to reach Obi-Wan through their bond with no success. It seemed to be blocked on his end. He couldn't even get a hint of his boy's emotions. He shouldn't have sent Obi-Wan off to rest last night, not alone. He should have closed the negotiations early and headed off to rest with his padawan. But no, that wasn't what he did. Instead, he sent his tired padawan off alone and continued to listen to the two representatives argue over ethical rights. It was his fault. He blamed himself and the one who took him.
"I swear, Master Jedi, I am not responsible for your missing student!" The lead scientist behind him shouted over the government's representative. The lead scientist, Croe Ray, was heading the project on the brain and memory and was being his own representative. He didn't seem to trust anyone else to fight his battle for him. A trait Qui-Gon found himself admiring. Despite not, personally, agreeing with his experiments, Qui-Gon saw the scientist as an honest man and found himself taking a liking to him. He was a short fellow with thinning brown hair and a five o'clock shadow. He was thin, almost unhealthily so. He blamed it on the fact he got so caught up on his work, he forgot to eat. He seemed to be a reasonable man and Qui-Gon had no doubt he didn't know what happened to his padawan.
"Like we believe that, Ray! You and your mad scientists showed interest in learn the insides of a Jedi brain the moment they got here!" Dock He-Nu, the government's representative. He was an annoyance. All he seemed to do was argue and blame the scientists about this and that. He was tall and skinny with short dark brown hair and a faint scar on his cheek. He had a pointy chin and a long pointy nose that had amused Obi-Wan immensely. He was a less then trustworthy man and greedy. However, Qui-Gon did not believe he was responsible for his missing padawan either.
"That doesn't mean I would resort to kidnapping! Especially, a Jedi child!" Croe Ray shouted back.
All Qui-Gon wanted to do was leave them to their bickering and search for his son, but he was needed there. The government's guards were looking for Obi-Wan. He didn't like it. He was so close to just leaving and, if they didn't stop arguing soon, he most certainly would. He sighed and finally turned back around to face them. At his movement, they both turned their attention to him. He couldn't blame them. He was far taller than either one of them and had broad structure. He was very intimidating and he had been facing the window since news of his missing padawan reached them. He hadn't said a word. "Gentlemen, I believe neither one of you are responsible for my missing student. However, someone is."
"The government's guards are on it, Master Jedi. They are searching Sci-Corp as we speak." He-Nu announced. Sci-Corp was the science organization that wanted rights to study on sentient beings. Ray was the leaning scientist and owner of the organization.
"Sci-Corp!" Ray turned an accusing eye on He-Nu. "I already told you, He-Nu, that I was not responsible. What makes you so sure that the young Jedi is there? You did not even ask for permission to search my facility! You sneaky son of a…"
"Gentleman." Qui-Gon interrupted quickly. "Arguing will get us nowhere." He paused when he felt the Force pulse. He had sensed someone approaching the room. "If you pause for a moment, I believe we are just about to get interrupted." Thank the Force. He thought as he turned to the door just as someone knocked. "Enter." He called out, glad for the interruption.
The door opened and the Captain of the Guard entered. His gray uniform was decorated with gold pins to show his rank and he had the government's national flag sewed onto his upper right arm. His gray cap covered his buzzed brown hair. His black boots snapped together as he stood at attention and saluted to Dock He-Nu, his sea blue eyes staring into space as he waited for permission to speak.
"Captain Chase, report." He-Nu ordered.
Captain Chase's eyes flickered between Qui-Gon and He-Nu, like he was unsure who he should be addressing his news too. Qui-Gon step beside He-Nu. "Go on, Captain." He ordered politely.
His eyes on Qui-Gon, he finally spoke. "We found him, Master Jedi."
Qui-Gon's heart seemed to jump a beat in relief. It felt like a whoosh of air just took his worry away. He closed his eyes and breathed in the relief. He fought the urge to demand to see him right away. It was a strong urge to beat down. "Where?" He asked tightly. Unsure if he gave into the urge or was asking the Captain where they found him.
"When we searched the Sci-Corp building, we found him strapped to an experimental table by two of its scientists."
"Ha!" He-Nu turned to Ray. "Had nothing to do with his disappearance you said. Captain, put this man under guard."
Croe Ray, however, looked shocked at the news. His eyes were wide with surprise. He took a step back and shook his head. "I had nothing to do with this. I swear. I had not authorized the kidnapping of a Jedi child." He turned to Captain Chase. "Who were the two scientists?"
"Heya Nat and Gane Les." Captain Chase informed. "They are currently in our secured facility under watch."
"Nat and Les are two scientists that never believed in my approached to things. I am not responsible for what they had done." Ray argued.
"Like we could believe that!" He-Nu argued back.
Qui-Gon shook his head at their childish rivalry. "I believe the two scientists acted alone." He stepped in before they could arrest an innocent man. "But to be sure, I must speak with them. Captain, where is my padawan now?" He asked. He tried to sense his padawan through their bond, once again, without success. Why didn't Obi-Wan bring down his shields? Why shield him in the first place?
"He is in the infirmary getting checked out, Master Jinn. He seemed confused when we found him, but looked healthy."
"I would like to see him if I can before questioning the two kidnappers." He told them.
The Captain nodded. "Of course, Master Jedi. I could bring you to him right away."
The Healers, however, wouldn't let him see his padawan, but he was stubborn. He stood before the lead Healer in Obi-Wan's care, his arms folded across his chest, his eyes narrowed at him, and his feet firmly on the ground. The corridor of the House of Healing was busy with families and nurses and they stayed far away from the intimating Jedi Master. Captain Chase shifted his feet nervously and that was the only sign of his edgy feeling. Luckily for them, He-Nu and Ray decided to head towards the secured facility instead of checking up on Obi-Wan with him.
The Healer stood in front of Obi-Wan's door, refusing to move, not at all looking flustered at Qui-Gon's intimating figure. As a Healer, he had met and become use to dangerous and/or intimating species of all sort. "I'm sorry, Master Jedi, but your student doesn't wish to see anyone at the moment. He is confused and shaken right now and needs rest."
"What do you mean, Healer?" Qui-Gon asked, picking up only one line. "He doesn't wish to see anyone? He would wish to see me. I am his Master and I can help him through his confusion. He knows this."
The Healer took a deep breath and shook his head. "I'm sorry." He repeated. "You will just have to come back later, when he is feeling rested."
Qui-Gon once again tried to talk to his padawan through their bond, without success. He tried knocking on the wall blocking his mind from entering Obi-Wan's, but the wall stood firm. Confused and a little hurt, Qui-Gon dropped the intimidating act, relaxing his posture. "I am his Master, his guardian; surely you aren't allowed to keep me from him?"
"I know, Master Jedi. But it is not I that is keeping you from him. It is your student's wishes to be left alone. As a Healer, I cannot have my patient become distress."
"Seeing me would not distress him, Healer." Qui-Gon interrupted. "Obi-Wan has always sought comfort with me. He knows me well and trusts me. I can smooth his confusion and fears in ways you or any medication could never do. I have the right to see my padawan." Despite his growing impatience and annoyance, Qui-Gon had been able to keep his voice from rising above normal. However, it took conscience effort. "Is there something about him that I should know? Had his captors done something to him?"
"Perhaps, Master Jinn…" Captain Chase spoke up. "…we can see to the prisoners for that information and come back more informed? Maybe your student would be more rested by then, sir."
Qui-Gon turned his attention to the captain and pondered if that was the right decision. Would he be this concerned if Obi-Wan was just his padawan and not his son? Was demanding to see him now putting the mission in second? This was what he had to make sure won't happen. He really was too attached to his padawan. Why did the Force see it necessary for him to train Obi-Wan? That was a question he been wondering for the past few years, even since finding out.
He turned back to the Healer. "When I come back, I demand to see him." He said firmly, thinking how lucky the Healer was that Qui-Gon had something more urgent to do. He had to get to the bottom of this. He needed to know what those two scientists did to his son! And he knew they did something, otherwise, he was sure the Healer wouldn't hesitate to let him see Obi-Wan.
The Healer nodded. "Of course, Master Jedi."
The Healer watched the Jedi Master leave with the captain before entering the room that contained Obi-Wan Kenobi. The fifteen-year-old boy was sitting up on the sleeper with his arms wrapped around his knees. He was staring at the white sheets, looking lost. "I cannot and will not prevent him from entering the next time, Obi-Wan." The Healer said when the door closed behind him. The boy glanced up, his gray-ish blue eyes piercing him. "He has the right to know and Master Qui-Gon Jinn is your guardian." The Healer shook his head. "I shouldn't have prevented him to enter the first time. As your guardian, he does have the right and he might be able to help. He cares for you, Obi-Wan. Anyone could see just how much you mean to him."
Obi-Wan nodded. "I understand." He said quietly. "I'm sorry. I just don't…It's just he…" He shook his head and looked down again. He sighed. "I try to picture him, but I can't." He looked back up. "What is he like?"
Qui-Gon sat at the table, staring at the two blubbering scientists. For the pass twenty minutes they were trying to convince him the 'importance' of their work. They tried to make excuses that did not satisfy him at all. Come to think of it, he couldn't imagine any excuses that would have excused them of kidnapping his padawan. Captain Chase was in the room with him, standing guard behind the two seated scientists. Several times Qui-Gon caught him rolling his eyes at them and held back the amused grin. He was glad to see their two annoying voices wasn't just bugging him. He could feel Ray and He-Nu's eyes on them from behind the security laser, but paid them no mind. They had already questioned the two when Qui-Gon was at the House of Healing, with little to no success.
"…it needed to be done!" Heya Nat, extremely short and thin. The top of his head reached only to Qui-Gon's elbow. His skin was a few shades darker then Qui-Gon and he had no hair. He was as bold as Mace Windu. His voice was wheezy and high pitched. It irritated him more than the words that came out of his mouth. His eyes were dark, but twitchy. They flickered around the room nervously and Qui-Gon knew he wasn't the 'leader' of the two.
"…only way! We had to do it!" Gane Les was short as well. He came up to Qui-Gon's shoulders at the very least. He was fuller around the waist then his companion and had a skinny mustache between his nose and mouth. It moved as he talked and Qui-Gon knew Obi-Wan would have found that as amusing as Dock He-Nu's nose. His thin brown-ish gray hair looked to be in the process of coming out due to age and stress. His brown eyes couldn't stay on Qui-Gon, but still tried to make an effort to appear confident, without success. His voice was deep, but Qui-Gon could tell he was trying to make it deep to appear more in control.
"…of a Jedi brain to work off…
"…must understand!"
Qui-Gon got too annoyed with them to listen anymore and he quickly leaned forward. His sudden movement caused the two scientists to immediately stop their chatter, much to his hidden relief. "Understand this, Scientist Heya Nat and Gane Les…" He started to say, looking at each of them as he said their names. "…nothing, nothing can convince me what you did was right. You took my padawan without permission and he did not going willingly. Truthfully, right now, I don't care why you kidnapped him. I just want to know what you did to him!" His voice was low with warning and the two short scientists blinked fearfully at him. Qui-Gon waited patiently for them to speak and just stared hard. He could wait all day if he must, but he would get what he wanted out of them.
Scientist Nat turned and glanced at his partner, as if looking for guidance. Les looked just as lost, like he feared the Jedi master's reaction. He quickly shook his head and Qui-Gon continued to just stare and wait. The tension of the room was building as the two scientists kept their mouths shut, but he knew they were about to crack. All he had to do was wait some more. Nat shifted in his chair uncomfortably, his body shaking and he refused to glance up. His eyes flickered around the room. He broke out into a nervous sweat. Les was tapping his foot on the ground and shifted in his seat as well. Qui-Gon continued to stare.
"It didn't even work!" Nat finally snapped before sucking in a breath when Qui-Gon's intense eyes went over to him.
"Heya!" Les hissed in displeasure at the shorter man. Nat gave him an apologetic look and Les slumped into his chair with a pout, just like a youngling who didn't get the toy he wanted.
Nat continued to speak. "We tried to erase one of the subject's memories, just a small one. We were to going to put it back." He added quickly before he could anger the Jedi Master. "It was just so we could see if it worked. There was a small energy spike we couldn't explain, but then again the guards came before we could study it. They cut the power during the process, a dangerous thing to do. However, the subject, when questioned, still remembered the memory we tried to erase."
He did not like how Nat was calling Obi-Wan subject, like he wasn't a person or a living entity. However, he kept quiet, knowing it would do no good to tell this type of scientist that. To them, it was all about the science. They didn't care what got in their way, as long as they get results. Everything, to them, was a subject. They couldn't see the person behind the subject. Being someone who followed the Living Force religiously, Qui-Gon couldn't understand how someone could disregard the person so callously.
Without speaking, Qui-Gon stood up and left the room. He got what he wanted. He would leave their prison sentence up to the captain. He entered the Observation Room, where He-Nu and Ray stood, watching the questioning behind the security laser that hid them from view. Qui-Gon gave the two scientists a glance, noticing Chaptian Chase had taken over his interrogation. He turned to Ray, uninterested to what was going on inside the room. "Do you know if there will be any long term effects for my padawan?" Having an unknown energy spike and abruptly cutting power did not sound good to his experienced ears.
Croe Ray turned from the scene inside the interrogation room to face him. He gave Qui-Gon a worried look. "I can imagine it wouldn't be good, but I can't say for certain without checking out the scene and observing the sub…your student." He said, catching himself before he called Obi-Wan a subject. He was glad that Ray had some decency not to call his son an experimental subject right to his face. "If there was any side effect, it would be with the boy's memory and that is a hard thing for normal healers to catch."
Qui-Gon tried to reach Obi-Wan through their bond again. It was still block on his padawan's end. He felt the twinge of worry in his gut. Was Obi-Wan's ability to use the Force somehow effected by the machine? Did he no longer remember how to use the Force? Was that why he didn't wish to see him? He was embarrassed he didn't remember how to work the Force? Surely Obi-Wan knew he would help him through it. "I need to see to my padawan." He decided. He as he turned to leave the room.
"Master Jinn!" Ray called out to him.
Qui-Gon paused and glanced back at him. "Yes?" He asked, stifling down his impatience.
"Please make note of anything out of the ordinary with your padawan. I'll go to Sci-Corp right away and study what my two former assistants had done. I'll tell you anything I find as soon as I find it."
"Ray…" He-Nu spoke up sternly before Qui-Gon could offer his gratitude. The two of them turned to the government representative. His eyes were narrowed as he took in the lead scientist. "Nothing could persuade me to allow you to continue this project. Not after what just happened. You are shut down as soon as this investigation is over." He looked at Qui-Gon. "Not even a Jedi could convince to allow it to continue."
Ray snapped back at him. "You can't just…"
"That is final!" He-Nu interrupted.
Ray turned to Qui-Gon, his eyes pleading. "Please, Master Jedi, don't let this influence you. We caught the two responsible for the kidnapping! There is no need…"
"Now is not the time to be discussing this." Qui-Gon interrupted. "We will continue the negotiations later. Right now, we all have something to do." He turned and left the room before either one of them could get another word in.
Qui-Gon couldn't see Obi-Wan's Healer about as he walked towards his padawan's door. With the Healer absent, Qui-Gon paused before entering the room. He would have liked to know if the Healer noticed anything about his padawan that he should know. With the knowledge that his memory might be a little off, it would be nice to know ahead just how bad it was.
The room was small and square shaped with two closed windows letting in the light, but not the cold. Obi-Wan was in a corner room, allowing the two windows to be on different walls. The walls were white, unsurprisingly. There were three light blue chairs along the wall for visitors to sit. Obi-Wan was sitting up on the sleeper with his knees to chest and he was staring wide eye at him. Qui-Gon sighed in relief at seeing him. His heart seemed to have calmed as well, beating at a normal rate.
The door closed behind Qui-Gon and he took a step forward. "Obi-Wan, are…." He stopped at the frighten look Obi-Wan gave him. He could feel his fear radiating off of him through the Force. Obi-Wan tightened his arms around his legs. Qui-Gon took a step back and gave his student a concerned look. "Obi-Wan?"
His padawan glanced up with his fearful blue-ish gray eyes and a whimper sound escaped his throat. "Who…who are you?" He asked shakily.
Qui-Gon froze and felt his body run cold. He stared at Obi-Wan with disbelief. No. No! He couldn't…His throat suddenly felt tight and he couldn't speak. His son didn't remember him. It was the worst feeling he had ever felt. Worst then when he realized Xanatos had him, worst then Xanatos betrayal, worst then hiding their family relation from Obi-Wan…
"Master Jedi."
Qui-Gon heard the Healer behind him, but couldn't tear his eyes away from scared, wide-eye padawan. He felt a hand touch his arm. "Master Jedi." The Healer repeated. Qui-Gon finally tore his eyes away and glanced to the side at the Healer. The Healer gave him a pity look. "I wanted to warn you before found out yourself. Come." The Healer led Qui-Gon to the door, but Qui-Gon wouldn't leave the room, forcing them to talk in whispers next to the door. The Healer spoke, seeming to realize Qui-Gon inability to do so. "When he came here, he still remembered who he was and you, but as time went on he slowly forgot. The last thing he remembered was his name before that was lost to him."
"He lost his memory over time?" Qui-Gon managed to work over the lump in his throat.
The Healer nodded. "Yes."
Qui-Gon closed his eyes to release his jumbled emotions into the Force with difficulties. "Is it permanent?" He asked tightly with his eyes still closed. He slowly opened them and waited for the Healer to answer.
The Healer sighed. "I cannot say. Things concerning the memory have always been…" He paused to think of the right word to use. "…unpredictable. The brain is an amazing thing. It tries to fix the problem and there are the instinct and imprints in the brain. Whether that will help him regain his memory or if that will just make it seem he remembers is the question. We will just have to see."
Qui-Gon nodded. "Thank you, Healer." He muttered as he looked at Obi-Wan. The boy was staring at the sheets, his body tense. He sighed.
"When you were here before…" The Healer started to say. Qui-Gon glanced back at him. "…he couldn't remember your face or your name, but he knew there was someone who cared for him and that he cared for as well. He didn't want you to see him like that, slowly losing who he is. He didn't want you to know. He thought it would be awkward being with someone who knew him, but he didn't know them. He didn't want to be around anyone that knew him before this happened." He glanced at the boy. "Now, he doesn't even remember that. He no longer remembers anything."
"He knew what was happening to him?" Qui-Gon asked with horror. To know you were slowly losing your memory and not able to do anything about it…horrible. That was not something he ever would have wanted his padawan to go through alone. And he did. He went through it alone. He should have been there. He should not have sent Obi-Wan to rest alone. He should have closed the negotiation for the night and walked with him.
The Healer nodded. "I'm sorry, Master Jinn. You have a strong boy, to be willing to do this alone."
Qui-Gon could only nod in agreement. He looked at his padawan. Obi-Wan's eyes caught his, a blank expression on his face. To him, he was able to meet a stranger. He no longer knew him and it hurt. It hurt deeply and felt the beginning of anger towards the scientists. He quickly released it into the Force before Obi-Wan felt it.
His poor boy.
For some reason, I struggled over this...Don't know when the next update would be...please review and tell me what you think!