Then I remembered.
"Shit!"
I desperately scrambled out of my bed and raced down the stairs to find Ma on the couch in the living room cradling a glass of wine, staring into space. "Ma?"
She looked up.
"Oh good, you're awake."
"But what happened?"
"You fainted, honey. After I told you about Martina."
"Oh." I vaguely remembered sustaining a large bang to my head, but that was all.
"Where's Joseph?"
"He's with Martina in the hospital. I drove you home."
"How did Martina get on in the operation?"
Ma patted the space beside her. "Sit down love. I need to tell you one last thing."
I did as she asked, and she took my hand.
"When Martina has recovered from the operation and is stable enough to leave the hospital, she will be starting up in a centre."
"What kind of a centre?"
"To help her with her problems."
"How long will she be going there for?"
Ma hesitated.
"She'll be staying over, sweetheart. Possibly for a few months."
"Is it that bad?" , I asked sadly.
She squeezed my hand. "She'll be better once it's over love. We can visit her tomorrow, if you like."
"Yeah. Yeah, I'd like that."
She gave me a weak smile. "Great. That's settled then."
That night in bed I did a great deal of tossing and turning. I couldn't sleep because I was so worried about Martina, and I was even more confused than worried about Peter, if that was even his real name. I wondered if I had imagined him, but I decided that I wasn't that great a daydreamer.
It couldn't have been a joke. How would he know my name, when I've never even seen the guy before? And then all the begging about helping his 'world' ? What did that even mean? I was deeply unsettled by the mysterious events, but eventually I drifted away in sleep, unaware of how confusing and difficult my life would become, all in the form of a young boy asking for help.
I entered the ward with my hand wrapped around my mother's. There were six beds on each side of the room, all occupied. A young girl was sitting on a bed on the left, pillows propped up behind her. She had a wound on her right cheek, covered in plasters, and her leg was in a cast.
She gave me a brief smile and I uncertainly gave her a little wave. I looked straight ahead to the very end of the ward, and I saw a man with his head in his hands. It caught me off guard, because his shoulders were shaking uncontrollably and there was some very loud sobs. I continued to search for Martina's bed, but to my surprise Ma pulled me towards the man. She stopped in front of him and hugged him hard.
I realized the crying man was Joseph. His eyes were red and he had dark circles under them, looking like a child who played with their mother's make-up. He embraced my Ma's hug with gratefulness and continued crying into her shoulder. I looked at the bed in front of us, and tears began making their way down my cheeks. My stepsister, Martina was asleep in the bed. She would look so peaceful and beautiful if it weren't for the the deep scatches and cuts on her arms. I put my hands to my mouth and shook my head.
"Oh, Martina..." , I whispered to her. "Why did you do this?"
It all started to make sense as the hours went by. Martina had recently accustomed to wearing jumpers and long-sleeved jackets, which everyone thought was a bit weird. Martina liked to show off as much as possible. She claimed she was just cold. That was her excuse for everytime one of us asked her about it, so we left it at that. None of use could ever have imagined the real reason.
I was sitting on yet another hard plastic chair, focusing on the floor. Joseph and Ma were sitting on the other side of the bed on chairs, talking quietly. We had long since drawn the curtains around the area for privacy. I was just sitting there, twiddling my thumbs, waiting for Martina to wake up. I wanted to know why she had done this to herself. Martina was very popular in her school, and she had boys after her and friends who stuck with her no matter what. She never showed any signs of depression, or anything else like that. Sure, we may have had a rocky start after Joseph married Ma and they came to live with us, but we got it sorted out in the end. Martina and I used to hate each other, but now we were like real sisters. I told her everything, she told me everything. Or so I thought.
I noticed out of the corner of my eye that Joseph and Ma were looking at me.
"Hey, honey? Why don't you go to that park again?" , Ma said. "I saw it on the way in, it looks nice. Go on, we'll get you if Martina wakes up."
I looked up. "If?"
Ma sighed. "Sorry, love. I meant when. Go on now."
I trudged out of the hospital and over to the park. I entered it warily, for fear that I might see Peter again. Cautiously, I looked at the swingset and the bench. Even the rickety old see-saw. Nobody was there.
I breathed a sigh of relief and fell back onto the bench. It was still freezing cold. I was wearing the same clothes as the day before. My hoodie didn't give much warmth, so again I ended up wrapping my arms around myself to preserve as much body heat as possible before I froze and got stuck to ther chair. Then I heard it.
It was kind of unexpected. You don't hear much of it usually, unless you're maybe in a screaming band, or a fan of one. Or maybe if you're watching a soap, like Coronation Street or Home and Away.
I unmistakeably heard, through the cold, crisp air, a scream.
I also unmistakeably heard in the scream, something I will never forget.
"MARTINA! NO!"
It was Joseph.