JadedGothButterfly: You make me so happy with this review yet you broke my heart with your JAB one! Its okay I get where you are coming from! Thank you so much! I'm really glad you liked it. I'm thinking of giving Itachi's side of things…but I'm too scared. Was he really real? That makes me so happy! Wah! You are going to make me sob! I'm really glad you liked ItaHina one I really and I mean am proud of that story! Thanks I hope you enjoy this one also!

Cascade00: Wah! You are going to make me sob out of happiness! I'm so happy you got excited! Yes I told you that you inspired me and wanted to create something special. I just hope all three will be special to you! Sorry I made you wait so long for this one. I sobbed writing it…this has only happened once before…but I couldn't stop crying! I know I wanted a kick ass Hinata I miss writing her like that! I know I never would've missed school with a teacher like Itachi. I like that getting detention on purpose to be with him! I know Itachi-sensei is my favorite, he'll make an appearance in all three stories, especially with the Sasuke one! That one is going to be fun because of his appearances…so ecstatic that you like it that much!

This story is actually based on a real story I've written and one day plan to publish. The only similarity is the beginning of the story the rest is unique.

This is my first story with Gaara as a love interest so please be kind to me…

I really like Gaara but for me he's hard to understand…at least a little hard for me.

I wasn't sure if I should put this as anime or manga since they have to do with neither so I just left it blank…not sure if that was the right thing to do.

I started crying as I wrote this…why? This hasn't happened in a while…

Oh I have yet to sleep also, it's 6 in the morning over here and I'm still going at it. Expect more updates this weekend!

Here is the story for Cascade00:

Second Encounter: Gaara

The second fateful encounter comes from a regular day…

I live a very uneventful high school life. I'm invited to high school parties but I never go. I'm not against them but I prefer this.

I loosely hold onto the water hose as I water the fruit trees in our backyard. I love tending to the gardens and grass. There's something about assisting plants in their growth that makes me ecstatic. I don't fully understand it but…it doesn't really matter.

When I first began to water the plants they were on the verge of death. My dad loves to plant things but he doesn't remember to water them. He said during dinner one day that he was going to re-plant the whole garden and put in some new plants. I didn't let him.

I put up a fight and accused him of not loving his plants. There may been a deeper meaning behind my words but that doesn't really matter.

My dad and I went back and forth. This was the first time that I actually spoke up against him. But then Hanabi interrupts us.

"Give Hinata three months before you decide to change everything. If the trees have green leaves then you don't get to change them. And Hinata if they don't grow the leaves by then, than you can't cry when he does change the trees. Deal?" she questions the both of us. I stare at him in the eyes and give one curt nod and he does the same.

I didn't read books or search online to see how it's done. I did it with common sense. I cut some of the worst looking branches. I took out the weeds around the trees and I watered them three times a week. I always water them after the sun has gone down.

I grew to love the sound of the water connecting with the dirt and dead grass. I felt like I was at home out here.

After a month most of the trees had green leaves on them.

Dad admitted defeat and didn't change the small trees like he had wanted to. I continue to care for them and anticipate their growth in the next few years.

"You have an old lady hobby," I hear a male voice say. I look behind me expecting to see someone behind me but there is no one. My skin crawls.

It isn't a ghost…it isn't a ghost…

"Up on the roof," he says. I look up at mine but don't see anyone. I look to my left first and nothing then turn to the right. And there sitting on the roof and illuminated by the glowing moon is, Gaara. I stare at him in awe. It looks like the moon's glow is in Gaara's pale skin. He looks different than he does at school. "Hello," he says with a tiny smile. I feel the water from the hose flood my left rain boot. The darkness hides my blush.

"H-hey," I shout as I feel my blush redden.

"You always spend your nights in your garden," he tells me. I stare up at him and he looks up towards the moon.

"How do you know?" I ask a bit freaked out that he knows that about me.

"I spend my nights on the roof trying to get closer to the moon," he replies to me as he turns to look down at me.

"Why don't you build a rocket and land on it?" I question him. I know it's not that easy.

"One day I'll land on the moon," he states so easily. It makes me believe in him. "What about you? What do you ream of?"

"I don't want anything to die," I reply honestly. "I want to give everything life."

"That's a good dream," he shouts as he stands.

"It's not a dream, it's my life," I murmur to the trees. I throw the hose on the grass. I tilt my leg back and some of the water falls on the grass and I reach down to pull off my boot. "This is the first time I notice you," I say up to him.

"I always see you," he announces. I stare at him wondering if it should freak me out…

"You're a creep for watching me," I confess.

"It's hard to ignore such a sad looking girl," he admits to me. I look away hiding my shocked expression. I thought I hid it well…

"I'll see you at school tomorrow," Gaara says before climbing off his roof.

I've never talked to Gaara before. I knew he lived next door but I've never had the desire to get to know him better.

I go to turn off the water and look up at the moon. I can easily tell why he has an obsession with it. The beautifulness is evident.

I stay out here a while just watching it. I hear a cricket and suddenly I realize that I've been out here for a long time watching the sky. I leave my rain boots outside. I walk into the empty house.

My father returns home at two in the morning and leaves at three in the afternoon. He's never home, he only returns to sleep. He's the owner of his own company but he feels he needs to be there more than anyone else. I don't understand his hours and he doesn't talk about it. So I've learned not to question him on the matter.

Hanabi decided to go to a boarding school in a different country. She only returns during holidays and the summer. But she wrote me an e-mail telling me that she's going to stay the summer over there with a friend and her family. I haven't told dad yet but she most likely already informed him of her plans.

I'm alone in this huge house. A cleaning lady comes in the morning and leaves before I get back from school. My best friend Sakura sometimes comes over to hang out with me but lately she's been busy. Ever since we were kids she'd tell me that she wanted to be a doctor. So, now she's been spending more time at the hospital. Getting to know the staff and ask any questions she has for the future, so she could learn more about her potential career.

I could throw a party and my dad wouldn't even know. I could invite people over and have some sex parties…but, that isn't me.

I like the quietness of the house but I don't like the loneliness. I should really make some more friends. So that we could have some study sessions here…

I sigh as I sit at my desk. I look at the homework I still need to get it done but my mind wanders back to Gaara. If I really examine him from where I stood something about him seemed just as sad as me…I'm not sure what but it was…

I focus on down on my homework and begin to work out some math problems.

I sit at my assigned desk at school looking around for Gaara but I don't see him. The first bell already rang and Uchiha-sensei is already in and talking to Sasuke. I watch him it's pretty disgusting how much attention he pays to his brother. I sort of want to say my dad doesn't pay you to watch your brother but I hold in the urge.

"Precious students please take your seats," he announces to the class. I always feel that there is a deeper meaning to what he says…

"Who are you looking for?" Sakura asks me as she turns herself around so that she could face me.

"N-no one," I reply bringing out my hands and move them around. She slits her eyes at me as she examines me closely.

"Student Haruno please sit in your seat correctly," Uchiha-sensei says. She whips her head back at him and glares at him as she slowly moves her body back facing him. I could imagine her defiant stare as she watches him closely with hate. It doesn't seem to bother him.

At the end of school Uchiha-sensei called out to me in the hall. I followed him back into the teacher's offices and he handed me papers.

"What is this?" I question him as I flip through the papers.

"Gaara isn't able to make it so I'm asking you to send him these notes and homework assignments for the week," I drop them on his desk as I slit my eyes.

"What am I your errand girl?" I question him. "I have no reason to do you any favors," I say as I give him my back and take a step forward.

"You seem to be having some trouble with certain math problems. You can't solve them on your own can you?" a lot of Uchiha-sensei's students have no idea how dark this jerk really is. I look over my shoulder and he's smiling at me like nothing is wrong. I feel my face heat up as I stomp back to him and grab the papers. "You are such a good girl," he says as I take long strides away from him. "I'll answer any questions you have tomorrow morning, thank you for your kindness," he says to my retreating back.

I can't stand that man.

I hate how easily I'm manipulated by him. It has happened on more than a few occasions.

If I think back…most of the time I haven't really seen Gaara here at school. But then again I haven't paid him much attention.

I walk home alone and stop by my favorite pastry shop on my way. I stop at Gaara's house. I stand out here for a few minutes trying to think of what to say. Before I think too much about it I push the intercom button. I wait a few minutes because it takes a while to go and answer. One more minute…I give his intercom my back

"Hello?" I hear his voice. I walk back and smile at his surprised face.

"Hey, I come bearing homework!" I try to be cheerful about it.

"Oh?" he questions me. "Come in," he says and the front gate opens. I was about to say something to him but he shuts off the intercom. I cautiously walk into the open gates. I look around and find a lush and green garden. I walk up the stone step path to the main entrance of his traditional house. It looks similar to my own house but the colors that they used are bright and cheerful in the form of sea form green and a pale grey with maple wood paneling on the exterior. The more I look at it the more pretty it seems. The dark grey stone roof seems to match with the colors just right. It looks to be the same size as our house. I call it a house but it's more like a two-story mansion with large front and back yards. Sakura likes to call me a princess because my house reminds her of a castle. I stand under the huge entrance of the house and walk to the sliding doors. I open it and say "Excuse my intrusion," as I remove my shoes and put them to the side of the wall and pick up some guest slippers. I take a cautious step forward as I finally enter his house. I don't pay attention to the décor or the art on the walls. It's a similar floor plan as ours so I go towards the section of the house that the rooms are located.

"Gaara-san?" I call out to him. I continue to walk and a smell that I can't place over takes my senses. It seems similar and once it smells more poignant I stand in front of the room and was about to open it but a tap on my shoulder stops me. I look back to find a weak looking Gaara trying to smile at me.

"Sorry for troubling you," he says with a bow. I stare at him, discovering this need to care for him take over.

"Is this your room?" I ask him as I ignore his previous statement but my manners get the better of me. "It's no trouble at all." I say with a deeper bow and as I stand straight he looks at me in the eyes.

"No," he simply answers. He looks down at my left hand where the box of cakes is held. I offer them to him.

"A gift for you," I say awkwardly. It's only customary to bring a gift to the family of the house your visiting. I choose these cakes hoping that he wouldn't like sweets and he'll just give them back to me. I feel guilty but I really love my sweets…

"Thank you so much," he says grabbing the cakes. The shock at his taking the cakes shows on my face. He tries to hold in the laugh but it slightly escapes. I feel a blush appear on my now hot face. "I love the cakes from here, the chocolate mousse is my favorite," I hang my head in defeat. It's mine too! And I only bought one, thinking it would be mine. I wasn't prepared for battle.

"I'm g-glad you do too," I whisper trying not to sound too disappointed. "How have you been?" I question him as I slowly get over my ultimate defeat at the hands of this weak boy.

"I've been okay I guess, lonely but all right," he replies as he walks away, I follow after him even though he didn't ask me to. Most houses are small but the houses we live in, well the ones on this block, all belonged to some feudal lords. So our houses are pretty huge compared to all the others. We arrive in the kitchen in silence.

"Do you live alone here?" I question him as I look around at the very clean kitchen. It looks like no one lives here by how nicely kept it is.

"Well, my dad is supposed to be here but he's had urgent business over in Sunagakure, so for now I'm here alone. My oldest sister Temari is off at a university in Kumogakure and Kankuro is busy travelling the world," he finishes as he opens the refrigerator. "Would you like something to drink? I have apple juice, orange juice, bottled water, some green tea or black tea and I could even make some warm tea," he offers me.

"That leaves you all alone…like me…" I say in a sad tone. He turns to look at me with wide eyes, almost as if he's surprised I could talk about this so openly. "I could make the tea why don't you go lay down. I'll take care of you," I inform him so easily. He suddenly stares at me with wonder in his green eyes.

"…I never knew you were this nice…" he murmurs, I know he's not trying to be mean but seriously? There are certain things one shouldn't mention so bluntly, and that was one of them.

"You just don't know me enough for me to be kind to you," I say as I walk away from him and search in his kitchen. "Do any of them come to visit you?" I ask as I notice him take a seat at the dining table in the kitchen.

"Temari is too busy with her studies. Kankuro just sends post cards and once they get here he's already moved on. I haven't seen him in years…" he recalls softly. "Father is too busy so he can't come out here. I call him everyday though," Gaara tells me. I glance back at him over my shoulder. He doesn't say that he talks to his dad just that he calls him…

I find the tea pot and I walk over to the sink and pour water into the pot. I put it on the stove then turn on the gas burner. I begin my search for tea.

"I'm always alone at my house," I begin as I focus on my search. "Dad is always busy at his company and when he comes home he just sleeps. Hanabi, my younger sister, is away at her school also she only used to come during holidays and summer vacation. But, this year she's staying over there. I don't like being alone…" I confess to Gaara. I finally find the tea bags and begin my decision on which one to use. "What would you prefer: peach tea or mint tea?"

"How about both? Just put two bags of each," I whirl around at him appalled at his idea.

"You know nothing of tea!" I shout for some reason. His eyes widen.

"And you do?" he questions me. I slump my shoulders forward and shake my head. "Try it," he says. I wait until I hear the tea pot cry and turn off the gas. I open the top and drop in the four bags of tea. I usually just make a cup for me but it seems like that it's a lot of tea bags for just the two of us…

"Why don't you come over here? So that you won't be lonely," he proposes and I don't hate his idea…I give him my back as I search for tea cups and find them up in the cabinet next to the stove. I stay silent as I pour the tea, on the counter and I turn around to take both cups to the dining table to find him watching me. "Do you hate the idea?" he retorts without me answering.

"No, I'm just wondering…" I pause trying to gather my thoughts. "I mean why me?" I ask as I set the cups down and pull out the chair across from him and take a seat.

"You're convenient because you live right next door," he blurts out. I sigh and shake my head, he has no people skills.

"Gaara-san-" he interrupts me before I could continue.

"Gaara," he says, I stare into his eyes and admit defeat easily.

"Gaara," I pause and he nods, "if you want me or anyone else to be your friend then you may have to be nice about it. I mean I'm used to this non-roundabout way but most people aren't. You could be your true self with me but be careful of others. Words hurt more than actions," I admit to him.

He picks up his tea cup and takes a sip.

"I haven't had human contact. When I was just a child I pretty much lived in the hospital," Gaara confides in me. I feel as if I can't breathe at the revelation. This shouldn't affect me. No, he isn't her… "The cancer was discovered in me when I was six. My family resents me…I think they hate me…" I feel this pain in my heart and my throat closes. The tears start to fall. He doesn't say anything and he looks away from me.

I don't even know him, yet here I' am sobbing like a baby. I wipe my tears with the back of my hands. I gasp as I reach out for my warm tea cup.

"I'm sorry…" I murmur feeling like an idiot. "You probably hate talking about your childhood," I comment as I take a deep breathes and try to stop the tears.

"Actually," Gaara speaks up, "I like the fact that you're crying for me. It shows that I made a connection with a fellow human." He smiles at me and I find myself standing up. I walk around the table and hug him. I hear a small gasp come out of his mouth. I rest his head between my breasts and hold him against me.

Is this why I'm trying to get close to him? Because the thing I hate the most was near him and tried to take him away. But Gaara fought off Death?

"We aren't alone, not anymore," I whisper to him as my hands touch his red hair. "We are going to stick to one another from now on. When you get sick I'll take care of you. When I feel lonely you'll explain the wonders of the moon to me. When we need each other we'll be there for one another. Together…" I declare everything to him so effortlessly. He doesn't speak up as his thin arms circle around my waist. Gaara rests his head on my chest. He holds me tightly.

"…together…until death…" he says so confidently but that final word it does something to my heart. Almost like a warning…sort of like it's right there at the door waiting…but I won't believe in that. I won't let that word affect me.

He pulls away slowly. He looks up at me and surprises me with a wide grin that he happily directs at me. It's infectious and I easily grin back. He pats my head as he stands up and walks over to some cabinets. I make my way back to my chair as he takes out two small plates and grabs two forks. He opens the box of cakes as he sits down at the table.

The beautiful and mouth watering chocolate mousse cake makes its splendid appearance. I try to hide my sorrowful tears and make sure I don't watch as Gaara devours the cake. Because then I'll sob.

He surprises me as he sets the cake I desired in front of me. I glance up surprised to say the least. I gasp unable to keep my mouth shut or open.

"I was just teasing you," Gaara says. "I saw you in the shop once eating three of these so I sort of knew about your love for this delicacy. I just knew I had to tease you," I turn my deadly glare at him as I slide the cake close to me protecting it from harm.

"Gaara," I say in my most serious tone, "you never mess with my chocolate mousse cake. You got it…kid?" I question him in a warning tone. He's kind enough to hold in his laugh as he solemn nods at me.

I slowly savor the cake as he looks away from me and begins to eat his own strawberry cake.

The next day after school I walk into Gaara's main gate. He gave me the code to opening the gate. I hold some grocery bags in my hands as I walk to the front entrance. I go directly to the kitchen and put away the chicken and beef into the fridge. I go to look at the rice I soaked overnight.

Gaara told me that he cooks for himself but because he's sick, he hasn't had the energy to cook. I love to cook so I've made it my duty to help him.

"You are like a ninja," Gaara says as he enters his kitchen.

"Look who's talking," I mutter. "So, how bored were you today?" I question him as I rinse the water out and put the clean rice in a bowl. I'll let it rest for thirty minutes. I walk to the island in the middle of the kitchen. I begin to rinse the vegetables.

"I wasn't bored at all," he informs me. "I caught up on most my animes," I slit my eyes. "How about you? How boring was school today?" I sigh sadly.

"It felt like the day would never end. Kakashi-sensei and Uchiha-sensei were in one of their moods. Not to mention the fact that Gai-sensei was full of energy like always during P.E…it was exhausting…" I admit feeling as if I stink. I can't take a shower at school because I'm embarrassed to shower like that in front of everyone… I shake my head.

"You were thinking something perverted," he blurts out. I feel my face turn crimson.

"S-shut up-p!" I shout hiding my embarrassed face behind my long hair.

"How are you going to cut the vegetables if you can't see?" he asks me. I won't take the bait. I'm calm and serene…I wait a bit under here trying to get rid of my blush.

"I wasn't thinking anything p-perverted-d!" I spit out awkwardly.

"It took you a while," he murmurs.

"I was just remembering Sakura," I lie.

"Is she a lesbian?" he questions me.

"No, well she hasn't told me anything. She just loves women's bodies. She can't hold back her love and finds herself fondling me and others before she knows it," I confess to the silent Gaara. He watches me for a bit but then he walks to the sink to wash his hands.

"She's a good friend to you," he tells me as he stands next to me. "She makes you smile," he continues as he peels a carrot. "And she can pleasure you," he murmurs. I crouch down and hide my head between my legs. I circle my arms above my knees and I try to bury my face deeper.

That's never happened! I want to shout. Sakura respects me and knows not to do anything like that! I'm so embarrassed! Stupid Gaara!

"It isn't like that!" I shout in my position. "She'd never touch me like that, you pervert!" I yell as I throw my head back and show him my scarlet face. He examines my face closely and leans down closing in on my face. I can't seem to look or move away.

"It's too soon for me to fall in love with you…right?" he questions me so seriously. I feel my blush travel down to my neck.

"You…s-shouldn't just proclaim that!" I find my voice too loud. He leans down and kisses me softly. But once I move my lips and open my mouth he is more forceful. A jolt of electricity goes down my spine to my toes. I get this funny but pleasant feeling in the pit of my stomach.

"This is an awkward position to kiss you in," he says once he pulls away. He's a little out of breath while I can't find air in my lungs. The thumping of my fast heart beat pretty much leaves me deaf.

"It is t-too s-soon," I mutter to myself.

"Maybe our love is meant to happen this soon…" he lets his sentence trail. I don't look into it too deeply. But deep down I knew…I knew it was going to happen once more…I push the anxiety aside and focus on this man.

As he stands up right he offers me his hand and I accept it and stand right in front of him. Right away I notice his eyes focus on my lips and I can't help but look at his.

They were really soft and he tasted like mint tea. That wasn't my first kiss but this one was pretty extraordinary…

"We should focus on the food!" I say ruining the moment. I feel him smile even though I don't look over at him. "Did you eat breakfast and lunch?" I question him as I try to focus on the potatoes in front of me.

"Yes, and I heated them up like you instructed," he says as he picks up the carrot from where he left it on the counter. "You worry too much," he mumbles.

"And you should worry more," I tell him.

He grunts and I choose to ignore it.

"Have you gone to the doctor?" I ask as I wash some potatoes.

"She came today and advised me to stay indoors until the end of the week," he's very vague. I have many questions but I'm still too afraid to ask, because I think of myself as a bother to him…

"So…umm…all you have is a cold right?" I inquire as I avoid looking up at him. But for some reason I look over at him and find him sadly smiling at me.

"…Yeah…I only have a cold…" he assures me after a long pause. I watch him and wonder what it is he's hiding.

After that we acted as if the kiss never happened. And we just hung out working on homework, watching some anime, cooking together, and just being with one another. There are times when I look over at Gaara while he's doing something and not looking at me and I find my heart beat faster as I watch him.

On the nights that I water the gardens Gaara usually is with me as I take care of my trees. I steal glimpses as he just gazes at the moon still in wonder of its beauty. Even I can't look away sometimes especially today when it's full.

"Why are you fascinated with the moon?" I ask him as we hang out at my house for once. He's busy snooping around the living room and dad's home office, which he doesn't even use.

"Why not?" he retorts as he sticks his head out of my dad's office, I glare at him as he smiles. He's doing that a lot more. He can smile freely and happily. I like to believe that it's because of me that he's changing…Gaara stays silent as I wait knowing that he's going to tell me soon. "Umm…I learned from Temari that when mother was pregnant with me she would often go outside and stare at the moon. That she would talk to me outside where we were alone. She died giving birth to me. That's another reason why my family resents me so much…" he confesses to me and I feel that pain in my heart. "My dad liked to tell me that she loved me very much and of course she would give her life for me. And that I shouldn't feel guilty but how could I not? I ruined my family…" the guilt and pain is evident on his healthier face. I can't look away from his vulnerability if anything I want to hug him and tell him everything is going to be fine. But he suddenly starts to cough. He leaves to go to the bathroom and I stay here watching his back.

He told me just today that he's gotten better. And that tomorrow he'll be able to go to school again. But something in me is eating at me. I can't ignore it forever…

We arrive at school together and Sakura glares at Gaara as soon as he lets me into the classroom first.

"What are you doing with my Hinata?" she questions him as she throws daggers at him with her glare.

"We live next door to one another, so isn't it convenient that we walk together?" he retorts easily. She slits her eyes as she silently threatens him. I just watch as Gaara reacts the same and threatens her with his deadly glare.

"Sakura stand down!" I hear Uchiha-sensei shout. This brings a growl to come out of her throat as she switches targets.

"Mind your own business, Sasuke lover" she really doesn't like Uchiha-sensei.

"Sasuke attack!" Uchiha-sensei is having fun this early in the morning. He must be in a very good mood.

"…" is all Sasuke does. Uchiha-sensei goes to talk to him as he ignores Sakura.

"I mean they live together and he is still acting like that with him," Sakura says loudly and shows her disgust at the two siblings. "You never gave me a concrete answer," she doesn't forget that easily.

"Yo!" I hear Naruto-kun shout as he enters the class room. He comes over to us and makes a big deal out of seeing Gaara. "How have you been?" he asks happily.

"Loser," Sakura calls out to Naruto, "I was talking to the other loser."

"Sakura," I warn her and she glances at me surprised. "Leave them alone please," I plead softly to her. She fake cries as she runs away. I watch her and discover that she is having just as much fun as Uchiha-sensei.

"I had no idea you talked to Gaara," Naruto says directing his words at me.

"Yeah, we're neighbors and we have a similar situation at home so we sort of began to hang out," I tell him with a small smile. I look away to glare at Uchiha-sensei. If he hadn't forced me to go with Gaara I never would've talked to him.

Almost as if sensing my thoughts, Uchiha-sensei turns his dark smile to me. I continue to glare at him and he continues to smile knowingly. I look away admitting defeat silently…I really do hate that man…

"Dope," Sasuke calls out to Naruto but Naruto ignores him as he focuses on Gaara.

"GAARA!" I duck just as Lee jumps into the room. He rushes over to Gaara's side and hugs him from behind and carries him up. "HOW I've missed YOU!" he shouts happily and near tears.

"I had no idea you had such an awesome friend Gaara," I say with a wide grin. He glares at me as Lee twirls him around. I can't help but laugh at his predicament. I glance over my shoulder at Sakura and find her watching Gaara without hiding her interest. She gets up and walks over to us once more.

"I've seen you before in the hospital…" she suddenly says as she continues to watch Gaara. I don't miss Gaara's recognition of Sakura as she looks at me.

"You never told me you've been at the hospital," I murmur trying to keep the panic out of my voice.

"Everyone take a seat," Uchiha-sensei announces. I want to shout out no and drag Gaara out of the room with me. So that he could explain to me what is going on.

I make my way over to my seat as I look down at my desk. So many emotions are swirling around my heart. I've never talked to Gaara about my troubles and traumas. I've kept them in because I thought it was for the best…but now they are all coming out.

When I was six I watched helplessly as my mother died. Her death broke our family just like Gaara's. But I didn't even know she was sick until it was too late. Father and mother thought it best not to let Hanabi and me know that she was deadly sick. They didn't want to worry us but then one day father returned and he told us mother had died. I still haven't forgiven him or mother for not informing me. I wanted to be with her, I wanted those memories of her to be with me but they were cruelly taken away. After her death father essentially gave his soul to his job. We still live in the same house, where all our precious memories reside. He doesn't even sleep in the bedroom he and mother shared. He put away all her pictures because it hurts him so much to see her.

I had a right to know that she was dying…

I stare at Gaara's back. Why did he hide the hospital visits from me? I don't…I don't think I'd be able to deal with another death…

Nothing should die. Everything has to continue living and growing. I don't want anything to die…

I pretty much ignored Gaara the rest of the day. I told him I couldn't walk home with him. He smiled at me and said he understood.

We began to drift apart that day…

Now I water the plants but Gaara just silently watches the moon on his roof. Since that day a few weeks ago we've avoided each other. If we see one another we just say "good morning" then continue our separate paths.

Even now my heart skips at the sight of him. I feel his eyes on me as I water the trees and grass.

"Everything dies," he suddenly says. I ignore him as I continue to water my plants. "It's the cycle of life Hinata. You are born to die," he just blurts out his words so easily. I hold in my tears as I keep watering my plants. The very same plants that had no hope yet they are blooming so well.

"I can't let something I love just die," I find myself shouting. "I won't be able to survive another death. Not like my mother's where we didn't even know she was sick," I yell up at him. "Shouldn't you be covered so that you won't catch another cold you idiot!"

"If it means you'll nurse me back to health then I'll catch thousands of colds," he muses so earnestly. "I miss you," he says as he stares down at me. There goes my heart. But…he's hiding something from me. I know it.

"What are you keeping from me?" I counter trying to keep my hope from shooting up.

"…" he can't even look in my direction.

"Why are you trying so hard to keep me by your side but keeping secrets from me at the same time? How is that fair Gaara?" I yell at him. "Don't be like my father. Don't keep anything from me. If you can honestly tell me what is going on with you I'll run to your side. If you can't then don't talk to me." I issue the proposal.

I look up at the moon and then at Gaara only to find him gone. I leave the hose on the grass as I walk over to the facet and shut it off. I make my way into the lonely house. I sob on my bed alone in this huge house. I sob feely and loudly. That's the end isn't it? This is it he's not going to tell me anything…I shake in fear of him…what is he hiding that he doesn't even care that he's hurting me. I want to know Gaara the best. I want to know every side of him. Get to know him better than I already do. This fear is eating at my heart. I scream into the darkness hoping it would eat my cries so that I could actually sleep but it doesn't. If anything my screams create more terror in my soul.

This ominous force eats at me as I try to figure out by myself what Gaara is hiding from me.

I don't go to school the next day knowing that Sakura will only ask and nudge me into answering her questions about my red swollen eyes. I lay in bed motionless. I can't function like this. The worry and fear is eating at me. I need to know what is going on with Gaara. I feel he needs his family by his side at this moment.

Why can't he just tell me what he has? Why can't he trust in the love I feel for him? Why is he being so difficult? He showed himself to me in a way that let me peek into his soul. We connected and I feel I'll never find a connection like his again. I need to get out of my room. I need to get out of the city…I just need to run away. So that I can maneuver myself out of Death's way.

I just want everyone to live. To live and not die. Why is that so hard?

I know that whatever Gaara has it has to do with death. I've known it since that smell coming from that room. It smelled like my dad when he came to tell Hanabi and me about mom's death. It's that same lingering scent of death.

I suddenly realize that someone is at my door. The door opens and Sakura comes in with tears in her eyes.

"He…he…" she stops to control her sobs. "I realized that I knew him because…he was Tsunade-sensei's patient…his cancer came back last month…he's been getting treatment but last night he…Hinata he's gone…"

I sit still as I let her words wash over me. I let them sink into the depths of my heart and suddenly it all becomes clear. He was always…he wanted me close so when…

No tears fall at the news. It all feels numb and foreign…no, this isn't foreign it's the same feelings when my mom…

"W-was he alone?" I ask finding my voice after minutes of silence. She can't form words and just nods her head.

Just like mom…

The funeral pretty much killed everything in me. Why didn't he tell me that night how serious it was? Why didn't he just trust me?

I haven't cried since and I don't plan to cry anymore. I won't…

I look over to find his dad numb he just nods when people give their condolences to him. I walk up to him and hold in my anger as I glare at him.

"You should've been here with him," I say. He looks down at me surprised that I'm talking to him like that. I feel my father behind me.

"Hinata now is not the-" I cut him off.

"He thought he ruined his family! He thought you and his siblings resented him! How could you force him to live alone? To go through all of this alone?! He had dreams only he could've fulfilled! But now…" I yell the words burn my throat and lungs and I shake my head in frustration. "He died alone!" I scream at his three surviving family members. "Didn't you know how sick he was or did you not care?" I accuse them and suddenly I feel a strong hand connect with my left cheek. I look up to find my dad's tear filled eyes look down at him.

"You have no right to say that to them. No, right at all Hinata," it suddenly becomes clear.

"I could be Gaara you know," I begin knowing that what I'm saying is wrong but I have to let it out. "I could die and you wouldn't even know or care!" I scream as I run out of the funeral catching one last glimpse of a serious Gaara in the picture. That isn't how I want to remember him. That isn't the Gaara I grew to know…

I can't take this anymore. I told him that I couldn't handle death. I just want everyone to live and grow…that is all I want…

I should've been there with him. I should've known something…my love it wasn't strong.

He knew…he knew he was going to leave me that's why he made the effort to reach out to me. But I pushed him away because of my own fear.

"Hinata?" I hear a female voice call out to me. I look back and find Temari stare at me. Her eyes are vacant almost like she can't feel anything. "What you said back there…is it true did he say that?" she questions me her voice shaking. I can't form words so I nod. She sadly smiles as she looks up at the sky.

"It isn't true you know…we never resented him. We loved him more than anything. Because inside him was the love of our mother…" she confesses this too late and she knows it.

"Gaara should've heard this," I throw salt on her already bleeding wound, with my mean and vindictive words.

"He talked about you," she begins. "I talked on the phone with him and he told me that you were the reason he was alive. That you gave him the hope to live…that you believed in his dream. He was madly in love but he could never put it in the words he wanted to speak to you in," her tears fall as she recalls her baby brother. "I'm sorry you never got to hear those words. I'm sorry that he is gone…I'm sorry that his dream won't come true…" she sobs in the middle of the street and I look away from her. He never had to say anything…his eyes gave away what he was feeling so easily. "I should've come. I should've been by his side," she yells. I glance in back of her and notice Kankuro standing away from us. The guilt he feels is easily seen on his empty face.

I won't be kind and I won't give her any words of encouragement. I know Gaara would've wanted me to speak kind and nice words but I'm not nice anymore.

"He came to me the night of his death…" I finally confess my sin. She looks up at me stunned. "He came asking for forgiveness and I couldn't give it. I couldn't say the words 'I love you' they couldn't come out. So I'm just as guilty, if not more than you. I was right there just a few steps away and I didn't do anything," I confide in the heart-broken Temari. I finally let the tears fall as I sob into my arm. I cover my guilty face and just hope that wherever Gaara is he'll forgive me.

Because I know that I'll never forgive myself…Gaara wouldn't want me to live with this guilt but it seems like I'm going to die with it gnawing at my soul…