Disclaimer:
I do not own Bleach or any characters form Bleach. They belong to Tite Kubo.
Chapter 2:The Continuation of a FOOLISH Story
On the previous chapter our brave hero Ichigo was riding a stupid hideous man (AKA Isshin Kurosaki) to his room. We now continue our story.
Ichigo:MUSH!(whips Isshin's ass)
Isshin:YEOUCH!(screams like an idiot)
Ichigo:Quickly get me into my room slave!
Isshin:Yes your majesty KING ICHIGO(goes faster)
Isshin drops Ichigo in his room.
Isshin:Will that be all master KING ICHIGO
Ichigo:NOOOO! I want you to do something for me
Isshin:What do you want me to do KING ICHIGO(bows)
Ichigo:I want you to dance in the street while wearing a dress
Isshin:WHHAAATTT!(scared)
Ichigo:DO IT OR ILL KILL YOU!
Isshin quickly gets a pink dress from some where and goes outside to dance all night long on the street.
Ichigo:Hmmmm now that he's gone I can get some rest(Ichigo lay on his bed)
Ichigo hears a strange noise; he gets up to see what it is. He sees a girl in a black kimono in his room. Ichigo used his mind and did the most logical thing he could think of in a situation like this. HE KICKED HER IN THE HEAD!
Girl:YEOUH!(falls down due to being kicked)
Ichigo:(opens the lights)Hey what are you doing in my room bitch!
Girl:(looks surprised)HUH? You can see me?
Ichigo:Of course i can see you do I look blind to you?
Girl:Hmmmm(thinks)
Ichigo:Don't ignore me who are you anyway? Tell me or I'll use my strawberry powers on you!
Girl:Strawberry powers?
Ichigo:Yes I'll turn you into strawberry milkshake!HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA
Girl:Okay stop laughing and I'll tell you who I am
Ichigo:(ignores her)HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Girl:HEY! don't you want to know who I am?
Ichigo:(stops laughing)Oh yes tell me who you are
Girl:My name is Kuchiki Rukia and(in creepy voice)I AM A DEATH GOD!
Ichigo:Yeah right and I am Santa clause
Rukia:Hey I really am a death god and I am 150 years old
Ichigo:WHAT! youre making no sense are you drunk or something
Rukia:NO! And why did you kick me?
Ichigo:That was the Kurosaki way of greeting others
Rukia:A kick to the head is a greeting?
Ichigo:Yes a very kind greeting now get lost you stupid midget or I'll KILL YOU!
Rukia:Listen you stupid idiot a hollow is after you
Ichigo:A hollow?
Rukia:Yes they are beings who wear masks and have holes in them and they eat people and other stuff
Ichigo:(looks confused)HUH! Listen just get out of here!
Rukia:There is a hollow after you didn't tell you
Ichigo:Yeah yeah go tell your stupid hollow stories to someone else!
Rukia:This hollow is very dangerous it has destroyed a Pepsi factory
Ichigo:(looks shocked)WHAAAATTTT! Did a Pepsi factory really get destroyed!
Rukia:Yes
Ichigo:(still shocked)OOOHHH NOOOO! Those poor bottles how dare that monster destroy those bottles! Let's go Kukiki Nokia we must stop that hole monster before more innocent bottles lives are lost!
Rukia:It's Kuchiki Rukia and bottles are not alive you fool
Ichigo:Hey bottles are people too
Rukia:Whatever!(looks worried)HUH!
Ichigo:What?
Rukia:The hollow's coming here I can sense it
Ichigo:really?
Rukia:You should get your family to safety
Ichigo:Family? What in fucks name is that?
Rukia:(has a WTF look)You know the people you live with?
Ichigo:Ohh those don't worry I killed most of them and one is dancing on the street(looks proud)
Rukia:WHAT!(looks shocked)I saw a weird looking man dancing on the street
Ichigo:Ohh that was my father who is also my slave(still proud)
Rukia:Ummm okay we should get out of this house I think its outside
Suddenly the sound of a strange scream comes.
Ichigo:What was that?
Rukia:That was the hollow, its here!
Ichigo:It's outside OOOOH NOOO! I hope he didn't eat my father
Rukia:I thought you didn't care for him
Ichigo:(speaks with bravery)OF COURSE I DO! Who's going to pay the bills when he's dead I must save him (Goes outside)
Rukia:Hey wait(runs after him)
Outside is a strange fish like creature wearing a mask and has a hole in it's chest
Ichigo:Is that the Hole-O?
Rukia:Yes and its hollow
Hollow:(speaks like a gentleman and is wearing a monocle)Good afternoon my name is Fishhead and I've come to eat you(smiles)
Rukia:Run Ichigo he's after you
Ichigo:Hey I didn't tell you my name how did you know my name
Rukia:Quickly there is no time to explain run
Fishhead attacks Rukia. Rukia goes flying and hits a wall.
Fishhead:So sorry about that would you like to have some tea and biscuits after I eat you
Ichigo:(gets mad)Hey what are you doing
Fishhead:You mean hitting the death god I told you I was sorry
Ichigo:(still mad)NOOO NOT THAT! HOW DARE YOU SPEAK OF TEA AND BISCUITS THIS IS NOT BRITAIN!
Fishhead:Sorry I will share some with you too so dont worry
Ichigo kickes Fishhead in the head. Fishhead goes flying. Fishhead gets back up and screams.
Fishhead:(angry)NOW I'M MAD!(attacks Ichigo)
Rukia suddenly gets in the way and slashes its mouth with a katana. Fishhead screams and falls back.
Ichigo:WOW where did you get that sword!
Rukia:SHUT UP YOU FOOL! I'm wounded I can't stop this hollow so I'll lend you some of my power
Ichigo:COOL GIMME GIMME!
Rukia:Stand still I will thrust this sword into your heart
Ichigo:WHAT! NO WAY DUDE! Are you trying to kill me!
Rukia:Quickly or we'll both die
Ichigo:NO WAY!
They struggle until Rukia thrusts the sword into Ichigo's ass by mistake.
Ichigo:(screams extremely loud)YEEEOOOOUUUCCCCHHHHH!
Rukia:(sweardrop)Oooopppss! Sorry! (Takes it out quickly and thrusts it in his heart)
Power flows into Ichigo and now he is wearing the same robes as Rukia. He also has a katana which is HUGE!(As I cannot show you an image as to how large it is I will give some of its description it's nearly 15 mm!).
Ichigo:(holds his ass)My ass hurts
Rukia:Quit you whining it was your fault and why is your sword so small?
Ichigo:(Looks at his tiny katana)Hey whats this
Fishhead has gotten back up and looks angry.
Fishhead:(does the weird hollow scream)Now I'll turn you into biscuits
Fishhead gets closer and there is bottle on his path and he nearly steps on it.
Ichigo:(looks really really mad)Hey stop you'll crush that bottle!(Ichigo moves at light speed and cuts the leg off Fishhead with his toothpick sized sword)
Fishhead:(screams again)Ahhhh! MY LEG! Why did you do that?
Ichigo:(looks serious)You almost crushed that bottle! As long as live I will not allow innocent bottles to be hurt!
Fishhead:WHAT! You'll protect bottles!
Ichigo:Yes and I'll also protect strawberries!
Fishhead:Your'e insane I'm going home to drink tea an-
Ichigo:(looks angry)BASTARD! First you try to harm bottles and now you speak of tea again DIE!
Fishhead:I do say I'm really sor-(Is cut in half by Ichigo's ridiculously tiny sword)
Fishhead: BISCUITSSSSSSSSSSS!(says this as he disappears)
THIS IT IS WRITTEN AT THE END FOR SOME REASON!
Kurosaki Ichigo/15 years old
Hair color/Bleached
Eye color/Muddy
Occupation/Village idiot and also
ASSHOLE!
I MEAN DEATH GOD!
End of Chapter 2:
In the next chapter more FOOLISHNESS!