Takane no hana
'Flower on a high peak'
Summary:
She is our takane no hana, our flower on a high peak: her beauty out of reach for everyone, so every admires her from a distance... as close as they can get. Those things never mattered to him anyway. [Roxiri]
- loosely based on the manga hibi chouchou -
Part Two
So much closer
I don't want to be a flower as a flower is motionless, forever stuck at the same place, unable to move.
I want to be a butterfly, flying to wherever he is.
-x-
He fidgeted with his jacket.
Was he dressed too formally? His mother had asked why he was all dressed up, that should've said enough.
It was too late to go back now, was it? He didn't want her to get the wrong idea.
Well, to be fair, he had no idea what this was either.
He was waiting at the Clock Tower, wondering now whether that was an obvious meeting place.
This was a bad idea, everyone would notice.
Sora would maul him like an angry bear, if he survived the mass of the male first years first.
The small area in front of the Clock Tower was filling up to the brim with people meeting up to go down to the Town Plaza.
There were bound to be a couple of them here, too.
After all, she was hard to miss.
Even now, his gaze was pulled towards her as if she was the world's biggest magnet.
If she was unusually pretty during schooldays, she was absolutely stunning now.
She was wearing a white, slightly pinkish dress that seemed to flow around her legs as she moved, her hair shining in the lights of the lanterns, two strands loosely curled next to her face, her indigo eyes bright as she smiled at him.
For a second, he wondered whether he was dreaming. It really was her, though. He wasn't dreaming, after all.
She gave him a small nod, the smile fixed on her face.
He could feel something flutter in his stomach. "Hey. So… You… you wanna go?" he asked after clearing his throat to make sure his voice still worked.
She nodded again. He noticed some people were turning their heads to look at them. Her, mostly.
Instinctively, he reached forward, grabbing her hand.
She didn't protest. If anything, she became a little bit more pink in her face.
He walked a little bit slower than he usually would as she was wearing heels, the sound of her heels touching the pavement strangely reassuring behind him.
She seemed a bit self-conscious, glancing around nervously at the people staring at her.
He paused in front of a stall that sold masks. For a second, he wondered whether it would be weird, but he purchased two of them anyway. Best to keep both of their identities hidden for all the rest of them.
He wasn't exactly thrilled at the idea of having to explain himself while he had no answers himself either.
She was surprised, but smiled warmly at him as he gave her her mask.
"Thank you," she said, accompanied with a small nod.
He smiled back at her as she walked next to him, her hand still tightly in his.
Now that was out of the way, what were they going to do the entire evening?
The firework show didn't start until much later and he felt a bit nervous as he had no plan whatsoever.
Just when he was about to ask her what she wanted to do, she pointed at a stall where you could play a kind of a fishing game.
You had to catch a certain amount of rubber duckies to win something.
"Er… sure," he said, following her to the stall.
He let her go first as she seemed rather enthusiastic about the game.
She lifted the mask a little as she got into position to catch ducks, the tip of her tongue visible as she was focussing on the rubber ducks that moved past.
He thought it was really adorable, until her round was over and she hadn't caught anything.
He tried his best to keep his laughter in, disguising it as a cough as she raised her gaze to him, a slight pout on her face.
"Here," he said, paying the man behind the counter for his turn. "Let me try."
She was watching him intently as he got ready.
He tried not to notice, as he had to concentrate. It would be very lame if he didn't get anything either.
However, as Sora had been persistent on getting him to play a home-version of this game a couple of months ago, he was a little bit more practiced than her at this. He caught the five rubber duckies he needed to get a prize.
"Ha!" he exclaimed in victory as the timer went off, signaling the end of his turn.
He flushed a bright red as he had momentarily forgotten that she was there, too.
Even so, it was hard to beat of the smug look on his face as she seemed hugely impressed.
As the man behind the counter handed over the prize (which was a decent sized teddy bear as they apparently had nothing else left already), he gave it to her.
He couldn't explain the jacket already, he could already see his mother's face if he came home with a bear. Besides, she seemed happy with it.
"Thank you," she said again with a small bow, smiling broadly at him. Another hot rush spread over his cheeks and he gently tapped down her mask again, so it was covering her face again.
"No problem," he said softly.
After that, she wanted to test out some food stalls, which was fine with him.
He hadn't really been able to eat much at home and now the worst of his nerves had passed, he was feeling pretty hungry.
She had ordered too much for herself, though, so he ended up eating most of her portions too.
She had already led the way to another game as he was still eating his dumplings.
He didn't mind watching her; it was entertaining, to say the least. She seemed so excited that he couldn't help but think it was cute.
As she prepared to start the game (she had to hit four targets with small tennis balls), she glanced up at him, almost hesitantly.
He swallowed down his bite and raised his thumb. "Go for it," he said encouragingly.
She smiled brightly as she started.
The woman had to dive away in order not to get hit and he nearly suffocated in his next bite as he almost burst out in laughter. He recovered just before her round ended.
She had already handed over the tennis balls to him in a rather defeated manner.
"Good luck," she said to him. "Thanks," he said with a grin.
He wasn't particularly good at these games either, but he had at least hit two out of four. That wasn't enough, but it was something.
"Well, that's too bad," he said to her as he gave the tennis balls back to the woman behind the counter, who seemed extremely relieved that they would be on their way again. "It's getting crowded, though," he added, automatically reaching for her hand again. "Shall we go find a good spot for the fireworks?"
It would be a shame if she had especially wanted to see the fireworks with him and they would miss it completely.
She nodded, her expression hidden behind her mask.
He gave her a soft squeeze as he led the way through the groups of friends, families and couples that obstructed the way.
The plaza, where the firework show would be held, was already slowly filling up, so they picked out one of the benches on the field of grass just in front of the plaza.
He shoved up his mask and glanced at his watch.
"It should start in a bit," he told her as she had followed his movement and shoved up her mask too.
She gave a nod, craning her neck a bit to check on the preparations.
"So," he said, rubbing the back of his neck, almost a bit shy. "Are you having fun so far?"
Her immediate first answer was a huge smile that swept his entire composure off its feet.
"Yes, thank you so much... for coming with me. How about you?" she added, slightly concerned.
It was the longest sentence he had ever heard her speak and he felt his heartbeat pick up the pace as he realized might've been one of the very few to hear her talk for such a long time.
"Yeah, me too," he said, his voice cracking a little bit.
She seemed content with it, however. Now that she apparently seemed in a mood to talk, he was a little bit curious.
There seemed more to her lack of words than just shyness.
"So, um," he said, clearing his throat. "Is there a reason in particular why you don't talk much?"
She tilted her head to the side. "Does it bother you?" she asked quietly.
"N-no, no," he said at once. "I was just wondering."
"I'm…" she started, twiddling her thumbs a bit. "I am practicing. I do want to talk more. To you," she added with a vague gesture. "I… I guess old habits die hard."
"I'm, er… grateful for that," he said, his heart beating somewhere in his throat at that point. "That you want to talk, I mean." He was glad it was getting dark, she wouldn't be able to see his embarrassment on his face.
She smiled at him. "I don't mind talking to you," she continued. "You don't… overwhelm me. Thank you."
He felt a little stupid that he had to ask in the first place; of course it would be something like that.
He could only imagine what the other guys would be like if she spoke to them.
Their admiration of her without her speaking was already very suffocating, or so he could imagine.
The announcer was getting up on the stage, people crowding together towards it.
He was partially grateful for the distraction, as he was still extremely red in the face.
He didn't understand; she hadn't necessarily said anything that could make him blush like that, had she?
Even so, he felt strangely proud that she seemed to feel that much more comfortable with him.
Then, as the announcer left the stage again, the first fireworks reached the sky, screeching loudly as they went.
They stood up too, to get a better look at the sky, now filled with bright colours and smoke.
He tried to say something to her, something along the lines of how pretty it looked, maybe, but the words died in his mouth as he glanced down at her.
The sky was reflected in her wide indigo eyes, a small smile playing on her lips as she gazed up at the night sky.
His heart was racing again and he swallowed thickly, quickly returning his gaze to the sky as well.
He couldn't really concentrate on the fireworks much afterwards; all he could see was that expression on her face that was wrecking his heart at this point.
Just before the firework show was coming to an end, he snapped back to reality as he heard a very familiar voice close by.
"-don't understand, I mean, we had such a nice view earlier! Vanitas! Wait up!"
He quickly shoved his mask back over his face, but it had been partially too late.
Sora, who was making his way through the crowds with his brother, had looked in their direction.
Sora definitely had seen Kairi, judging by the startled expression on his face.
"Van, wait! That's-"
He didn't wait and grabbed Kairi's hand. She glanced up at him, a confused expression on her face.
"Let's head back," he said, leaning closer to her ear so she could hear over the loud sounds of the fireworks exploding in the air. "Before everyone else does. It's still quiet up there."
She gave him a nod and he led the way back to the Clock Tower.
He really didn't want Sora to find out he was here with Kairi. It would spread through the entire school… he didn't even want to think about what would happen next. Absolute chaos, that was for sure.
Soon, he couldn't see the brown haired guy anymore and he let out a sigh of relief as he shoved up his mask, glancing over his shoulder to look at the girl whose hand he was still holding in his.
Her cheeks were a bit pink and she smiled at him as they stopped right in front of the Clock Tower, where they had originally met up earlier that evening.
He let go of her hand at once, strangely self-conscious about himself. She bowed slightly. "Thank you so much… for today," she said warmly.
"No, thank you," he said quietly.
She smiled. "I'll see you later, then." She was about to turn, but he reached forward and grabbed her hand again.
His heart was pounding in his ears now. "Wait!"
He didn't want her to go yet and he was desperately looking for an excuse to prolong his time with her.
Even so, the firework show had ended and people started to get back up, the loud sounds of chatter and laughter growing near.
"I'll walk you home," he said decidedly, nodding more to himself than to her. That was a good reason to stick to her side a little while longer.
She blinked a couple of times in confusion. "Won't that be... troublesome for you?"
Well, he would have to walk the entire way back to his place.
He wasn't quite sure where she lived either, so it could be a real hassle to get back.
It would be worth the trouble, though. He smiled at her. "No problem at all."
He didn't let go of her hand this time, though there wasn't a crowd to get lost in this time.
There was no excuse anymore for it to be necessary, but as long as she didn't protest, he didn't want to let go.
He had never thought such a feeling would exist.
He wondered whether he should talk to her; she seemed to be content with the silence too.
It wasn't an awkward silence, either. There was just the two of them walking down the lanes and streets, their fingers intertwined, her warmth heating him up on the inside.
They arrived way too soon at her house, which wasn't that far away from his, either, so it seemed.
He was surprisingly disappointed. As she turned to him, he had to force himself to let go of her hand. It felt almost as if he would never be able to take her hand ever again.
"Thank you," she said again, smiling brightly at him. "I had fun."
"Yeah, me too," he said, sad that it was over for real now.
"I'll see you later, then," she said, much softer.
"Yeah. See you at school," he said.
And then, as she gave him one final smile, the pieces fitted together.
The heated redness in his cheeks, his racing heart, the tingles in his stomach whenever he was near, wanting to keep her to himself, the lightheadedness whenever she smiled… he liked her.
He liked her.
He wondered whether he had become just like all the other guys now.
It almost felt as if he wouldn't deserve her anymore if that was the case.
Then again, he thought as he watched her walk up to her front porch, the others couldn't like her like this.
They liked her because she was 'takane no hana'.
He liked her because she was Kairi.
There was a huge difference, at least to him.
She turned to him, waving. He waved back, getting ready to leave when he realized she didn't go inside.
"Go inside!" he told her sternly, but she simply smiled and waved again. He couldn't help himself and smiled back at her in defeat, waving one final time. "I'm leaving now, okay?"
He ran the entire way back to his place to try and get rid of the adrenaline that had been flowing through his system.
He liked her. A lot.
Even though everything started to make sense, there was this newfound feeling of insecurity.
He might be different than the others, but did she like him too? In the same way that he felt about her?
He went straight to his room, closing the door and sliding down with his back against the door, catching his breath, his face still red as he hid it in his hands.
What was he supposed to do now?
-x-
Sora was not in a good mood that Monday. "What are you so moody about?" he inquired, raising his brow.
They were out in the yard again for lunch and he kept glancing up at the roof, waiting for the auburn haired girl to appear there.
That reminded him that he probably shouldn't have asked Sora what he was feeling upset about. He turned out to be quite right.
"I saw Takane-Kairi, I mean, at the Festival," Sora said, toying with his food.
"Oh," he said, a bit uneasy now. "Er… that's nothing to be so cranky about, right?"
Sora shook his head. "That's not the point! She was there with her boyfriend."
He choked on his drink. "W-what- I mean, h-how would you know it's her boyfriend?" he coughed, trying to catch his breath. "It could've been any other guy-"
"Roxas," Sora said, giving him a look as if he pitied his friend, which could be because he was choking to death or because he apparently didn't understand some basic love rules. It could be both, too, though. "You should've seen the way she had dressed up. She wouldn't have done that for any other guy."
"R-really?" he said, his heart pounding against his ribcage. He noticed a small figure up on the roof, her short auburn hair moving along with the gentle breeze. As if she had been summoned by their conversation.
He tried not to look as Sora would not be pleased, at all, especially not during this conversation.
"Come on, Roxas," Sora complained. "You wouldn't have gone with any other girl either, would you? If you had gone?"
"I wouldn't," he said quietly.
He hadn't gone with just any other girl.
If any other girl had asked him, he would've refused for sure.
Was it the same for her? Had she specifically asked him because she… liked him too?
He dared a glance up at the roof, where she was standing, silently watching.
Was that what he was supposed to do now? Find out how she felt? He felt a bit fidgety at the thought of that… what if she didn't feel the same way?
He might make things unnecessarily awkward, unless he maybe 'forgot' to mention his own feelings, perhaps.
Then, what if she did feel the same way? He had never dated before and he wasn't quite sure what it meant 'to date'.
The bell rang to end their lunch break and they gathered their stuff as they stood up.
Listening to the almost angry chatter around as they walked back to the entrance, he found out that news spread fast; most guys were absolutely appalled to hear that their 'takane no hana' might be dating someone.
He couldn't imagine the chaos he would plunge practically the entire school in if he might start dating Kairi.
The loud buzz of mostly guys whispering to one another became louder and he turned, just slightly.
She was there, trying to pass the crowd, her gaze steadily down on the ground.
She was really uncomfortable and he sighed slightly.
Wouldn't it be selfish to want to be next to her? The uproar would only increase; there was no way in making her happy like that, was there?
He shook his head, almost as if he had made a decision.
He took a deep breath and was about to follow Sora, who was leading the way through the mass of people when he heard light footsteps following each other rapidly.
"Roxas. Good morning."
He turned around at once, the entire hallway completely silent.
She was standing just behind him, her cheeks flushed as she dared a glance up at him.
He was completely off guard by her sudden…. rather bold action. "Good morning," he finally said, giving her a slight nod of acknowledgment, though he was aware of the whispers that had started to buzz up again.
Then, some became louder.
"Why is she greeting him?!"
"That's not fair! Greet me, too, Takane!"
"Me too! Good morning, Takane!"
Her eyes lit up as he greeted her back, and she gave him a small nod before she brushed past him.
Even so, he swore he could see her smile at him as she passed him.
As he stared at her slowly disappearing form, the masses kind of following her, he met Sora's bewildered expression and realized that he wasn't the only one rather stunned.
"What was that?!" Sora said, his voice barely a whisper. He seemed extremely impressed. "She just talked to you!"
"Y-yeah," he said, rubbing the back of his neck. "A-Apparently so, huh?"
"Why, though?" Sora said, almost in shock as he stood on his tiptoes to try and catch a glimpse of her. "Why would she talk to you?"
He was started to flush a bright red. "I have no idea," he lied.
Well, it wasn't that he knew exactly why, but part of the reason she had just explained to him. He didn't feel like it was necessary to tell Sora that, though.
"You're red," Sora remarked, still in the bewildered state he was in. "Wait," he suddenly said, stopping in the middle of the hallway, a frown on his face as he waved his hands almost comically in the air. "Wait."
"What?" he said, trying to will the colour off of his face.
"You," Sora said slowly, pointing at him as he seemed to process some very complicated thought. "Do you like Takan- Kairi?"
He wondered whether he should be honest or not.
He had already kept a lot from his best friend, partially because he couldn't explain it before the Festival and he didn't want to break it to his friend just like that after the Festival.
He decided that he would be honest. Besides, even if he said 'no', his face clearly told something else. "Er… yeah."
"I knew you'd cave in sooner or later," Sora said as he picked up the pace again, grinning slightly. "Welcome to the club."
Of course he would think that way; there seemed to be no guy in this school who hadn't been strangely moved by her, after all.
He could get away with it like that, but he didn't want to. In the end, he really thought that he would betray her somewhat if he did.
"Wait, Sora," he said, trying to keep up with his friend. "It's not like that, I mean… I like, 'like' her."
Sora turned around, raising a brow. "What makes you think that we don't?"
"I mean... I'm in love with her," he said almost in a hiss, so nobody else could hear him. He felt as if his head would explode at this point and started to question why he wanted Sora to know the truth after all.
"Oh," Sora said, frowning as he seemed to think about it. "Oh." Sora then narrowed his eyes. "This is not the first time she's spoken to you, is it?"
He shook his head after some thought. Best to keep things as honest as he could from now on. "Please don't tell anyone," he added pleadingly. "It'll only give her trouble."
Sora crossed his arms as he tilted his head to the side, deep in thought. "Hmm."
"Sora?"
"Are you two dating?" he then inquired.
"What, no," he said, a bit startled. "I don't know if she likes me back or not."
"Well," Sora said after a few minutes of silence, in which he had started to drag his friend along because they would be late for classes otherwise. "You know, it's kinda mean, I think, that you got ahead of the rest without telling anyone," he continued pointedly. "But it's you, so I guess I'll forgive you."
"Yeah, thank you so much," he said, raising a brow. "Also, I didn't mean to. It just kind of… happened."
"If I have to lose to anyone," Sora said, ignoring his blonde friend. "I'd rather lose to you, if I'm honest. I'll support you," he finally said, giving him the thumbs up.
He groaned. "Don't do anything unnecessary or extremely stupid, please."
"What?" Sora said indignantly. "Of course I wouldn't! I just want to help you beat that guy that was with her at the Festival, really."
"Yeah," he said awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck. "About that..."
Sora's jaw dropped and he was sure he could almost hear it break. "What?! Don't tell me-"
"It was me," he admitted finally in a whisper. "Now shut up before anyone else hears! Sora, I really don't-"
Sora, however, was no longer in the land of the living and he shook his friend by his shoulders to try and get him to snap back into his empty body.
"Sora!"
"You've betrayed me," Sora finally said as he had sat his baffled friend down on his chair. "How could you!"
"I didn't know what to do," he said sheepishly. "I only figured it out myself after I walked her home, and I couldn't just-"
"You've walked her home?!"
"Keep your voice down! I'm starting to regret I told you," he added grumpily.
Sora, to his surprise, suddenly grinned widely. "Oh man, I never thought I'd see you flustered, of all people."
"Don't laugh at me!"
"Didn't I say already," Sora said easily. "I support you. I'm just messing with you. Even though I am just a teeny tiny bit hurt," he added, raising a brow as he held his thumb and index finger a few inches apart to indicate how much hurt he was.
"I'm sorry," he apologized, laughing a little in relief.
"Good," Sora said with another grin. "Now, let's go to the rooftop after school, then-"
"Absolutely not," he deadpanned. "Don't do anything unnecessary or stupid, remember? I want to be able to do this on my own."
"Fine," Sora said with a defeated pout. "Do things your way. Talk to me again next year when you've finally made a move or something."
The teacher had come into the classroom, so he hurried to his own seat after giving Sora a whack against his head for good measure.
As he sat down on his chair, he felt strangely light.
Telling Sora had been a huge relief, after all.
Even though he appreciated the fact that his friend wanted to help, he truly wanted to work hard by himself to earn her love. She was worth at least that much.
Besides, he had already come so far by himself, he needed to continue down this road by himself (and maybe with her).
He had no clue what dating meant, wasn't sure what was expected of him, but one thing he knew for sure: he was not going to let her go.
-x-
It had sounded so good in his head… about 'not letting her go'.
He had no idea how to reach that goal for real.
Ever since she had greeted him, people were watching him with suspicious glares, almost surrounding her completely as if to keep her out of his sight. It was ridiculous.
It had been days since she had greeted him in the hallway and he hadn't spoken to her ever since.
He probably should've asked her phone number to begin with. He felt stupid.
Today was just the same: he could only catch a glimpse of her auburn hair.
"What's wrong with those people?" Sora commented with a sigh, shaking his head.
He raised his brow. "I thought you always referred to them as 'we'? Doesn't that make you part of them?"
"What, no!" Sora said at once, grinning. "I've always shipped the two of you."
"What?" he said, now utterly confused. "Sorry, you what?"
"Yeah, never mind," Sora said, slapping him on his back. "Wait, what's happening?"
The mass suddenly separated and at first, he felt a bit relieved to be able to finally see her again, but the sight of her startled expression immediately set off all the alarm bells in his head.
A guy approached her and bowed slightly to her. "Takane, I've liked you since the first day I saw you! Please go out with me!"
He could feel a scowl form on his face as he crossed his arms. Sora started to bounce a little on his feet in uneasiness. "Oh boy," he muttered. "This isn't good, this isn't good. Now everyone's gonna-"
Kairi shook her head, bowed back and he could hear her voice clear as day. "I'm sorry."
This, however, seemed to be the starting sign for all the rest, as Sora had predicted.
He watched in disbelief as other guys pushed the just rejected guy out of the way and started declaring their so-called 'love' to her too.
He had to admit that he admired Kairi for how she handled things.
She was very consequent in her response: she would shake her head, give a polite bow back and would reject them right away.
Even so, he could see that she was very uncomfortable.
During the transition, in which the rejected guy was pushed away, she glanced up and met his gaze.
It was almost as if she was begging him to move. To do something. Anything.
As always, he responded almost automatically. He wasn't even aware of him taking a couple of steps forward.
"Hey, stop it! You're making her uncomfortable."
Sora was getting nervous behind him, he could tell.
If looks could kill, he'd be killed, brought back to life to be killed a hundred times over again.
"Stay out of this!"
"Yeah, get lost! You don't even like her anyway!"
He took a deep breath and walked up to her, her wide indigo eyes following his every move.
His heart was hammering against his ribcage like crazy and he had no idea why he was doing this, but now that she had set something in motion inside of him, he just kept moving.
"Kairi," he finally said as he was in front of her, bowing slightly. "Please go out with me."
His heart pounded in his head, a rush of redness quick to spread over his face and neck as he balled his hands to fists, pressing them against the sides of his thigh.
He dared to glance up, quite sure that she would repeat the same pattern.
She nodded.
"Please take care of me," she said quietly with a smile.
The hallway exploded as he stared at her, almost in disbelief.
"What?! No way!"
"What did she say?! This can't be right!"
"Why him?!"
He straightened himself, now facing the rest of the crowd.
"You better leave my girlfriend alone," he said, surprisingly confident, lightheaded at the feeling of her saying 'yes' to him. "Don't make her feel uncomfortable or you'll have to face me."
The crowd dispensed with loud mutters and angry glares his way, but Kairi was beaming as she gently reached out to tug at his sleeve, making him look at her again.
"Thank you."
"You're very welcome," he said, now a bit nervous as his confidence dropped in front of her.
She, however, didn't seem to mind at all as she reached up with both hands to touch his cheeks, give him one final smile before she let go of him and quickly hurried to her lesson.
He hadn't even heard the bell ring.
Hell, he didn't even feel Sora grab his arm and drag him off.
He stumbled along with him, his gaze on the disappearing form of the girl he had just asked out.
Who had just said 'yes'.
Who he started to date.
"Sora," he finally croaked as she turned around to glance at him one last time before she turned the corner. "Did I just ask her out?"
"You sure did," Sora hummed.
"Did she really just say 'please take care of me'?"
"She sure did," Sora said, glancing rather concernedly at his friend. "So you'd better do that, all right?"
"Yeah," he mumbled, rather dazed. "Yeah, I'll do that."
Sora then started to laugh. "You really are a weird one, you know that?"
He didn't listen; he was too busy replaying the moment in his head.
Her nod. Her 'please take care of me'. Her smile. Her hands on his cheeks.
He couldn't beat the grin off his face for the rest of the day.
-x-
She was waiting for him after his practice, having pulled up her hood as to draw less attention to her.
That was a rather smart move, but he recognised her anyway. Luckily, he might add. He might've walked past her and not knowing he did.
"Kairi," he said as he joined her. "Didn't you go home already?"
"I waited for you," she said quietly, a bit fidgety. "I… wanted to see you."
He glanced behind him, where he had left Sora standing in the doorway.
His friend gave him a thumbs up before he waved. He would be on his own with her.
The butterflies in his stomach almost started to rage at that thought.
"I… er… I'll walk you home," he finally said.
She nodded and he, almost shyly, took her hand in his.
It felt good to have her warm slim fingers intertwined with his again.
He realised it had been too long ago since he last held her hand; it was almost a relief to be finally able to do that again, without having to be afraid to be seen.
"Say," he said, as it bugged him a little. "I… I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable. Earlier, I mean."
She shook her head, smiling at him, squeezing back slightly.
He smiled back. "All right, then," he said. "That's good."
It was enough, to be walking side to side, neither of them saying something even though they were still connected by their hands.
He adjusted his pace to hers, and he noticed that she was going a little slower every once in a while.
A bubble of warm happiness formed in his chest when he realised she might not want this to end either.
Even so, he recognised the area where they had walked to and he knew they were close.
"So," he said as she slowed down even more.
He smiled a bit, but he knew that they really would reach her place soon enough, no matter how slow she wanted to go. "I… I will walk you home tomorrow too, all right?"
She glanced up at him and nodded, smiling back.
"If you want, I can walk you home every day," he continued, rubbing the back of his neck with his free hand. "I do have practice three times a week, so you might have to wait on some days, but-"
"I don't mind," she said, interrupting him. "I'll wait."
"Great," he breathed out as he unconsciously squeezed her hand a little. "I'm glad."
They had reached her house and she turned to him, her hand still locked in his. Even though he would have to let go of her, he'd rather postpone it just a little while longer.
She was looking up expectantly at him, tilting her head to the side. He cleared his throat and tried to keep his head cool, but he could already feel the heat rush up to his face.
"I, er…" he said, stammering a little. "I have… er… I've never, well, dated before," he admitted sheepishly to her. "I… don't really know-"
She shook her head, smiling up at him. "That's okay. It's the same… for me."
He felt strangely relieved at that. "Is that so? I see…"
She glanced down at their intertwined fingers and squeezed his hand slightly. "So… should we try this out together? See… what it's like?"
"I'd like that," he said quietly, giving in to the blush spreading over his face. There was no way he could stop that either.
She smiled again, gazing back at him and with a pang of regret in his chest, he realised they would have to separate for now.
He swallowed and nodded once, more to himself than to her as he let go of her hand. "I… I'll see you at school, tomorrow, then?"
She nodded, folding her hands behind her back.
"Let's not repeat what happened at the Festival," he said, smiling slightly. "Just go inside. You don't have to stay outside and watch me leave, you know."
She giggled, and it was the cutest thing he had ever heard. "Just go, then."
He grinned, gave her a small wave as he almost stumbled backwards. "See you tomorrow!"
In the end, she did stay outside and watched him until she could no longer see him. In the end, he didn't really mind either, keeping turning and waving at her until he had finally turned the corner of her street.
-x-
They had already reached her house; it was almost as if it kept creeping closer to the school with every day that passed.
Even so, there was still tomorrow, and the day after, to walk her home, to spend time with her.
It had been months since they had started 'dating', and it had so far been strangely wonderful.
He was one of the most hated persons in the school, but he didn't really care as long as she wanted him.
After he had finished practice this Friday and said Sora goodbye, he had met up with her.
It was getting colder, their breaths were visible and he was quite thankful that he got to hold her hand, as the warmth was even more welcome than usual.
He started to fear that it would become time to wear gloves soon enough and then it wouldn't be the same anymore.
As she had let go of his hand to find her keys, he had stuffed his hands in his pocket for warmth as she reached inside of her bag for her keys, frowning and the tip of her tongue visible as she searched for it.
"You don't have that many things in your bag for a girl," he remarked as he chuckled a little. "And even so, you can never find anything."
She smiled at him. "Things get lost in a lot of empty space."
"I'd believe it would," he said, reaching out to take over her bag to hold it open for her. "Here."
"Thank you."
She finally found her keys, the set jingling as she pulled them out of her bag.
"I'm kinda curious, though," he said as she took over her bag. "Why do you carry so few things with you?"
She tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. "I used to take… more things with me," she said thoughtfully. "But they got… lost and then classmates would find them…" she shifted her weight a little as she sighed. "They wanted something… in exchange. So I stopped… bringing unnecessary stuff."
He felt sorry for her. As he had thought when he first saw her, she really didn't enjoy any of the overwhelming attention she got.
Almost automatically, he reached out to touch her hair. It was softer than he had imagined to be, and it distracted him from what he originally wanted to say.
He only remembered again when he had slid his hand down her hair to her neck. "If it happens to you again, you'll just have to tell me," he said to her, smiling slightly. "It won't happen ever again then, I'll promise you."
She smiled back, touching his hand with her fingertips. "Thank you."
The way she was looking up at him reminded him of the Festival. "So, do… do you want to hang out with me this Sunday?" he asked her, rather spontaneously.
He even surprised himself a little, which he often did when it came to her, he noticed.
Her face lit up. "Really?"
"If you want," he said, laughing a bit at her delight. He had no idea he was capable of making someone as happy as she was at these occasions.
"Yes, please," she said brightly, suddenly standing on her tiptoes to give him a kiss on his cheek. Then, she gave him another bright smile before she turned and ran up to her front door.
"Go home," she said to him as she turned back to him a bit. "It's cold!"
"I know," he said, slightly dazed as he put his hands in his pocket again, smiling at her. "Go inside, then."
She bounced a bit on her feet to keep warm. "You'll freeze!"
"See you Sunday, then," he said, waving at her. "I'll call you!"
She waved back at him as she opened the door and went in. He walked backwards, watching the door close behind her before he finally turned around and walked normally again.
At school, they still didn't talk much.
If he was honest, he still rather kept her smiles and her soft voice to himself, especially now that she had started to talk more.
Besides, he thought it was important for the both of them that she still kept hanging out with Olette and that he kept hanging out with Sora during school hours.
Afterwards, however, he was all hers and she was all his. It was a wonderful thing, much to his surprise. Even though that was the case, he kept glancing at her every now and then if he caught a glimpse of her.
They'd greet each other when they passed in the hallways. He'd still catch her watching him on top of the roof.
Even if they were apart, she was more than frequently on his mind. He didn't ever want this to be over.
He couldn't even imagine being done with her.
He thought he had fallen in love with her before, but he kept falling and falling with each day that passed.
He couldn't help but start to fear for the day he'd hit the ground.
-x-
He had trouble concentrating on the movie, as the dim light of the room, the irregular flickers of the movie playing on the screen created strange shadows and illuminated areas on her face that were equally, if not, more interesting to watch.
She was completely absorbed by the movie, hugging the pillow tight as her eyes followed the action on screen.
He knew she didn't like cliffhangers, so just to tease her a little, he paused the movie right before the plot twist of the movie.
He felt slightly grateful now that Sora had spoiled the entire movie for him months ago.
She gasped almost comically as she snapped back to reality, glancing up at him with wide eyes. He couldn't help but laugh a little. "What? Break time," he said as he stood up. "Just like the cinema."
Her expression softened as she gently put the pillow down. "Right. Very important."
He came back with their drinks and popcorn.
Again, he was grateful that Sora had given him the popcorn maker three years ago.
Back then, he had been rather skeptical as he thought it was an useless thing, at which Sora responded defensively that one day, he would come to thank him for that 'useless thing'. That day seemed to have finally come.
She nodded slightly as she smiled at him. "Impressive. Very cinema-like."
He shrugged as he put it down on the small table in front of them. "Well, I felt stupid for not being able to afford two tickets for a movie, so I had to be creative."
"I see," she said quietly, the warm smile still gracing her lips as he sat down. She shyly moved his way a bit and he let her, wrapping his arm around her shoulder and tugging her towards him. She flushed pink a little bit, but he was quite proud that he had mastered his own blushes.
He leaned forward a bit to get his drink when Kairi moved a bit in his embrace. "Say, Roxas," she said softly.
"Yeah?"
"I heard this person talk at school… he said that the only thing that was good… about me," she said hesitantly. She seemed having trouble getting the words across and he automatically frowned a bit in worry. "The only good thing would be that I was… Takane. He said that… now that I was… approachable in the end…. there was nothing else good… about me."
He put down his drink very carefully. "Oh?" He kind of expected her next question at that point.
"Do you feel that way?" she finally asked, looking up at him.
She was looking so vulnerable that he could feel his heart throb for her and at the same time made him feel happy that she could be so vulnerable around him.
He smiled at her, running his hand through her hair. "Well, that's an easy question," he said quietly. "You were never that whole 'takane no hana' thing to me to begin with, you know. I saw that nickname as the stupid thing, really."
"So," she said softly, tilting her head a little. "What is good about me, then?"
"Did you want to finish this movie today?" he asked her a bit jokingly. "Or do you really want to hear this first and postpone the movie to somewhere next year, maybe?"
"Stop," she said, now laughing a little, giving him a very, very gentle push in his side. "Don't exaggerate."
"So you want it short then?" he said, smiling at her as she relaxed against him. "Well, you're adorable, you're kind, you're funny, sweet, way too good for your own good and you suck at party games, which I think is kind of cute."
"Do you think I'm pretty?" She was testing him, he could see it in the playful twinkle in her eyes.
He grinned. "Pretty? Haven't really looked at you that way before, I think."
She giggled, nuzzling up against his chest. "I see."
He kissed the top of her head. "Don't be silly. Of course you're pretty. Now, are you ready for the plot-"
"No, no, no," she said, her usually quiet voice a bit louder as she jumped further into his arms to press her hands against his mouth. "Don't say it, don't say it! Don't spoil it!"
He laughed, gently removing her hands from his mouth. "But you might want to hear it when I tell you that his brother is-"
"Nooo!"
-x-
It had been crowded at the Summer festival, so they had gone back to his place to watch the Fireworks from the attic.
Huddled together in front of the window, she was leaning against him and he was thoughtlessly running his hand through her hair as they watched the red, blue and green sparkles in the sky, the loud screeches slightly less loud because they were further away.
"Hey," he said, diverting his attention to her hair as he suddenly realised something. "Your hair is getting longer."
She flushed, which surprised him. In the flickering lights of the fireworks outside, it almost seemed as if she was glowing. "R-really?"
"Yeah," he said, following the longest strand to the back of her neck. "It reaches up until your shoulders now."
"You don't like it?"
He tilted his head, running his fingers through her hair again. "On the contrary, actually. It looks really good on you, too."
She smiled a bit. "Can you believe I once had my hair this long?" she said, pointing to her lower back.
"Seriously?" he said in disbelief. "Why did you cut it off?"
She shrugged and leaned further into him. "I thought it'd help… with the attention, because usually guys and girls prefer… well, longer hair."
"Oh," he said distractedly. He had always thought it was remarkable that she had such short hair and never really questioned it up until now. He had always thought the short hair suited her, but the long hair had this strangely elegant look on her too. It worked both ways for him, but he thought it was rather sad that it was yet another thing she had tried to stop people from overwhelming her. "I like it both ways."
"I'm glad," she said, looking up at him. "I think I'll let it grow long again. It'll be fun to do something special with my hair every time we go out."
"If it makes you uncomfortable-"
She shook her head, gently resting her fingertips on his mouth. "I don't care anymore," she said softly. "I can withstand all of it as long as you're around. I want you to overwhelm me."
As she smiled at him, withdrawing her fingertips, he leaned forward.
Again, as it usually went, she had set something in motion inside of him, and he just followed through.
Very, very carefully, he gently pressed his lips against hers.
She might have been expecting it as she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back. Her lips were soft and tasted remarkably of cherries and he felt his heart hammer against his ribcage in response to having her so close to him.
He wrapped his arms around her waist, tugging her closer. Then, though, he couldn't help it, he sneaked his right hand up in her hair. He really did like it now that it was longer. She smiled against his kiss.
He pulled away, feeling strangely moved by having her so close to him, the flickering lights playing on her features as she smiled up at him.
Everything that tumbled out of his mouth hadn't occurred that much before, but he meant them anyway.
"When we're done with college in a couple of years or so," he said quietly. "I'll work hard and become steady so we can become a family."
She blinked twice, suddenly as red as her hair. "Did… did you just p-propose?"
His brain started to keep up with what he just said and he became even redder, feeling the heat run all the way down to his toes. "Er… yes, but not like this!" he quickly added. "Just… be prepared for it. When it comes. Later. In a few years."
She beamed at him and nodded before she stood on her tiptoes to give him a soft kiss.
The fireworks kept on screeching upwards to the sky, exploding in a million tiny flickers of blue and green, red and white, but they were lost on the two of them as they were too preoccupied with each other.
Her hands were tugging at his shirt to keep him close, one of his hands had her leg wrapped around his waist, the other hand tangled in her hair.
She had definitely lost her strange nickname takane no hana, but she had gained a place to belong with him.
A safe place where she was for once cherished for who she was instead of her looks.
She had finally become the butterfly.
- the end -
Author's note Happy new year! It's a bit late, I know. Couldn't finish this early as this year sure started just fabulously with a ton of work, haha. Ah, anyway, in case you wonder where this is coming from, I'm trying to keep my new year's resolution to upload something every month, whether it's an one-shot (like this was supposed to be, but it turned out a bit long, as usual) or part of an old or new series. So, this one I started writing on pretty recently, I guess. I read the manga hibi chouchou and damn, Kawasumi really reminds me of Roxas sometimes. It's the blonde hair, maybe. I hope you like it; it's not really special or whatever, it's just a lot of fluff and hopefully as cute as I hoped it would be. Hoping you are doing absolutely marvellous these days :) Lots of love, Your author, PrincessM