A/N: Sorry for taking forever... shit happens. Anyway, I should have Chapter 3 up soon, so stay tuned.
"…and then she up and left!" I finished
"Well, you can't blame her." Rarity said. "You did put… what did you call it?" she asked.
"A gaming weekend with my friends." I explained.
"Yes, that… you put that above spending time with her!" Rarity said
"Well, it was important to me." I argued.
"W-well… what was important to her.. if you don't mind me asking?" Fluttershy asked timidly.
"Uh…" I trailed off as Tyler walked up.
"William… kill me." he said.
"Why?"
"I'm bored."
"...maybe later." I said after thinking it over for a minute.
"Darling, what are you wearing?" Rarity asked Tyler.
"I'm wearing my military's forest combat uniform." he told her.
"So, you're a type of guard?" Twilight asked.
No, I'm a soldier, but more specifically, a US Marine." Tyler corrected he.
"E-excuse me, but… what's the difference?" Fluttershy asked quietly.
Here we go... I thought.
"The Marines are one of the most highly trained and disciplined military forces in the world" Tyler explained.
"You still haven't answered the question." Twilight said with a questioning look on her face.
"I fight in wars, your guards do not." Tyler clarified.
"O-oh..." Fluttershy mumbled, falling silent.
"Who wants cupcakes?" Pinkie Pie appeared quite literally out of nowhere with a tray of a few dozen brightly colored cupcakes on her back. Tyler stared at them for a moment, making a face showing... conflict? I couldn't tell.
"Not sure if want… or if trap…" he said. Yep, conflict.
I decided to try and troll him. "It's a trap!" I told him.
"Fuck it, YOLO." he said, grabbing a chocolate one. He went to take a bite, but a look of horror flashed across his face and he put it down, walking away.
"Does he not like cupcakes?" Pinkie asked.
"Well... yes and no... it's a long story." Quite literally. I added to my self. "I'll take one though." I said. "Thanks!"
"Only the best for my new bestest friends!" Pinkie said, hopping in place.
I don't know what kind of cupcakes you've had, but if you somehow end up in Equestria, go to Sugarcube Corner and BUY SOME CUPCAKES. Pinkie Pie's cupcakes are the best EVER!
"There are no words..." I managed to say.
Twilight and Fluttershy had taken chocolate and vanilla ones, respectively, while Rarity had passed.
"Wow Pinkie, these are some of your best cupcakes yet!" Twilight complimented after taking a bite.
"I'm super-duper glad you like them!" Pinkie said, gleefully bouncing away while managing to balance the tray on her back.
I was about to return to the conversation with Twilight, Rarity and Fluttershy, but I heard Tyler say something almost out of earshot:
"Everyone ready?" he asked a few ponies (including a certain rainbow-maned pegasus and an orange far mare), all of whom were holding filled shot glasses.
"This won't end well..."
Though I was slightly annoyed that Tyler was playing a drinking game, I decided to watch while continuing to talk with Twilight and the others
-40 shots l8r-
I would've thought Applejack could take more, but she had passed out after 40 shots. Rainbow Dash, on the other hoof, was starting to look a bit drunk, while Tyler and another pony looked perfectly fine. To my surprise, a crowd had gathered to watch.
"Um, William?" I heard Fluttershy ask.
"Hm?" I looked over to her.
"Y-you were saying...?"
"Oh, right..."
-10 shots l8r-
NOW Rainbow was drunk off her flank. She had slid from her seat and asked Tyler
"Why don't you... go find us a roomsh"
to quote her slurred tone. A voice in the crowd had yelled at her to go home because she was so drunk. Back to the game itself...
"Care to continue?" the stallion across from Tyler asked.
"Let's..." Tyler replied as the shots were filled
-50 shots l8r-
I was amazed to say the least. Fruit Punch (Tyler later told me the stallion's name was) had passed out and was snoring while Tyler himself didn't even look buzzed... after 100 shots no less!
"Hey William!" he yelled to me.
"Damn it Tyler. What?" I yelled back, still annoyed at him for starting this 'little game'
"I'll be back" he said, revealing a medium-sized bag of bits. "Gotta go put this somewhere safe."
"Alright, just be-" the door shut. "-careful..."
Looking out the window, I saw Tyler being approached by a couple of colts, one holding a knife. Long story short, one of them ended up with a broken front leg while the other ran off in fear. Deciding to ignore this and turn my attention back to he party, I suddenly realized that I didn't really have much to do. Twilight had stated talking to Rarity about some new spell she was learning (which would've been interesting had I known more about magic at the time), most ponies had gotten drunks because of the game and I didn't know any of the sober ponies so that just left Pinkie Pie. Meh, I thought, Why not play a game of pin the tail on the pony withe her? I preceded to ask her if she wanted to play and I was met with:
"OhmygoshIthoughtnoponywouldaskme! WelltherewastisonestallionbuthewasdrunksoffhisFLANKsoIaskedsomeponytotakehimhome-"
"Pinkie?" I asked, trying to steer her back to my question.
"Yes, Silly Willie?" she asked.
I held back a chuckle. She had already come up with a nickname for me. I wonder what Tyler's nickname will be? I shook my head, focusing again.
"So do you want to play?" I asked her again.
"Of course, silly! You're already blindfolded after all!"
"wha-" In a flash, I was blinded, put through a whirlwind, and given a pin with something fuzzy on it (the tail, I assumed)
-20 minutes l8r-
Pinkie (unsurprisingly) beat me 22-8. I may hve lost horribly, but at least I had fun. Plus, she probably beat me because she's played it a lot more than I did.
"Ok, Pinkie..." I started, stumbling dizzily into a chair."I have to take a break..."
"Okie dokie lokie! I'll just spin myself then!" she said, becoming a living tornado for half a second before trying to pin the tail.
"You do that..."
Glancing around, I noticed Tyler walk back through the door and over to Fluttershy. He was holding a little box and eating what looked like... dammit...
From behind, I saw Fluttershy tense up (probably trying to use the Stare, but both Tyler and I both knew that wouldn't work). This was punctuated by Tyler saying something about having no soul. Somepony behind cleared their throat behind me, and I turned to see Rarity looking up at me.
"Oh hi, Rarity. What's up?" I asked her.
"What is your friend wearing now, darling? It looks even worse than the last 'uniform' he was wearing"
"That kind of thing seems to be all he has to wear, besides what he came here in. Why, did you have something else in mind?"
"I was going to ask him to come by the boutique tomorrow so I could make him something more... appealing... but he's..."
"...kind of insane and you're just a bit scared?" I finished as she trailed off.
A nod.
"Alright, I'll go with you."
Walking towards him, I noticed the box he was holding was labeled 'Animal Crackers' I need to ake sure I let Fluttershy know those aren't made of real animals. I noted. Now as for Tyler...
"Dammit, Tyler."
"What?" he said, looking slightly surprised.
"You know what." I told him, pointing both outside and at the box in his hand.
"Not my fault!" he exclaimed, turning to Rarity. "Anyway, Rarity, how are you?"
"I feel absolutely wonderful, darling. I do have one question, however." she replied.
"Yes?"
Rarity relayed her request, which Tyler immediately denied and followed up by saying
"I will gouge out your eyes and skull-fuck your ass!"
"Dammit, shut up Tyler!" I said.
"Well I don't want to, unless you can convince me to... then I probably will. But you thought it was too mainstream to be mainstream..." I tuned out his random tangent and waited for him to finish.
"Tyler, can I ask you something?" I followed up
"I don't know, can you?"
Taking that as a 'yes', I asked him what I thought was a very important question.
"How many times do you think before you do something?
"Most people think twice. I don't even think once."
I facepalmed, not knowing what I had expected from him. I decided to just ignore him and enjoy the party.
This proved to be a nearly fatal mistake
-A few days l8r-
"God dammit, Tyler!" I yelled.
"What'd I do know?" he asked.
"The library is ON FIRE!"
"It's not my fault Twilight lacks the commonsense to understand that keeping a bird made of fire in a library-that just so happens to be tree-is just asking for something to happen." he explained.
"Well you lack the common sense no to anger a bird 'made of fire' in a library that 'just so happens' to be a tree." I retorted.
"I'll take that as a compliment"
"Wait, what?" I'll admit, that threw me off.
"Exactly. And... the library... isn't... on fire?" he said pausing to look in confusion.
"What?! How?" I spun around to see.
Not only was it not covered in flames, but the library looked pristine, like there wasn't a fire to begin with.
"A fail-safe spell." Both Tyler and I turned to see Twilight standing behind us, a very, very annoyed look on her face. "I'm not dumb, Tyler. Growing up with a baby dragon has taught me to be careful."
"Are you sure about that?" Tyler asked
"Yes."
"Are you sure you're sure?" he pressed
"Yes!" Twilight replied, looking even more annoyed.
"Are you sure you're sure about not being sure?" he asked, smirking.
"Yes! I mean, no... I mean... rrrgh!" Twilight grumbled, going in the library.
"Mission accomplished." Tyler said, following her in.
After him, I entered and went up the stairs, grabbing my laptop. I hadn't notice it before, but I also had a mobile hotspot in my bag. I opened my laptop, intending to play some Team Fortress 2 with my new internet connection (not to mention rub the fact that I was in Equestria in every brony's virtual face) but before I could, I heard Tyler yelling my name.
TF2 would have to wait.