Chapter II: Introspection
Why does it always have to be this warm? I increased the speed of my paces longing for the coolness of my bedroom. It was the one of the only north oriented room of the house so, it was colder. I thought that in six years of living in a humid and warm environment I would accommodate. No such luck. I was sweating like a pig and I couldn't do anything about it. And I hated the way the air would make me feel sticky. The air. Even the elemental powers were working against me. My body just really, really, really hated heat.
It also didn't help that it was almost June. The sun was constantly torturing me, bright and round like a circle of hell fire high on a clear summer sky. Even the earth seemed to emanate heat, warming my feet and short legs. Everything was short about me. I hated it. My shadow was the wrong size and so was my eye level. Or at least that's what my mind told me. Did I use to be this short and small? Geez, kids really are short. I wanted to roll my eyes at my own statement. They are kids, of course they are short. And here I was! Mentally talking to myself. And scowling too. Actually, I did that quite often, oblivious to my surroundings. I felt myself frowning. I still had doubts this world was real. Now and then I would feel like walking in a dream or phantasm, chasing some weird product of my imagination. But of course, even my imagination wasn't this vivid, and under no circumstances would a dream be this long. Six years…. How the time has passed. Maybe even time is compressed?
I stopped. Raising my eyes to the symbol on the high fence, I cleared my face of any emotion in case anyone was around. And there were indeed people, walking around, out and in the compound, some in green vests serving as a uniform or just in plain dark-colored clothes. With a last glance at the white and red – quite opposite from the preference for dark clothing of the members wearing it – I took a deep breath and followed an old woman inside. Why me? The question was irrelevant; it popped up in my mind without being addressed to anyone and without being definite or clear.
Why me…what? I just kept my head low walking down the street, not looking at the people around me. It was stupid. I knew they had better things to worry about than staring at a child walking home. But these people were part of my family. Well, no not really family, but more the extended variant of it. A clan. That sounded so… pompous. But in here that was a rather ordinary term. Although, the same now uninterested people made it clear in the first years of my arrival that I was a stranger, even an intruder. Yes, I was one of them, but at the same time I wasn't. I raised my eyes from the ground looking around me. Why should I be ashamed? From what I knew this world wasn't even real, and even if it was, I still had no reason to be so humble to these people. As expected no one was staring weirdly at me and no one was whispering around pointing at me. But they used to, three years ago. Now they just didn't care, which was fine with me. I passed the huge house. I looked at it with shivers running down my spine. I knew this house. I did not linger, actually I started walking faster, as if it was haunted. It wasn't, but for me it was. Not by ghosts, but events I knew would come to pass. I shook my head. Not now, reason. After ten minutes I was home. That was a record. The compound was huge.
I opened the door and peeped, carefully sneaking inside. Perhaps she's not home. I prayed the Valar she wasn't. Yeah, but which Vala? Could I still name all fifteen Valar watching over Middle-Earth? After a mental check of my nerd legendarium, I was rather content to find that yes, everything was in place. I was far too obsessed with Lord of The Rings not to. It was perhaps the only thing linking me to home, to my word, to myself. I sneaked along the hall of the house, remembering the exact number of steps on the hallway passing the rooms she could possibly be in at this hour. She could be in the guests room…nope, a quick glance into the room assured me she wasn't there. She could be in the small entry to the left… nope, not there either. Perhaps she's in the garden. It was her obsession. Almost there. I passed the kitchen, one step from the staircase which led to my room and the next level of the house.
''Welcome home, Kaya.''
Shit, shit, shit. Not that name. I grimaced, still not turning. She scared the shit out of me. I turned slowly facing the kitchen and one of the persons I hated and adored at the same time. Hated because, well, I hated everything from this world simply for baing unfamiliar and not from my world – admittedly I like bitching about everything – and adored because she made delicious food and …
''Oh, hi there.'' I said ignoring all cultural conventions of these people and picking up the cat that started brushing my knees. ''You must be new here'' I mumbled at the grey cat. The little ball of fur started purring immediately as I proceeded to stroke her head and chin. ''Hello Nekkobaa''.
That sounded so Japanese. I cursed myself for being so… occidental? Not the language, noooo that came naturally almost like … magic? It was imbedded in my brain now since I grew up with the language and learnt – still am learning – to write in it. But of course, it wasn't magic, yet Japanese felt so natural. And yet my thought process was English. Or perhaps so I thought, after all I was programmed to perceived it as such, I couldn't just throw 19 years out of the window. URGH, why was everything so confusing? The Cat Granny didn't flinch at my not-so-local 'hello' and turned towards the stove. This woman…. is very strange. I entered the kitchen and five more cats welcomed me. I didn't mind the cats, I minded only the cat-obsessed Granny.
All I could see now was her orange dress and big grey hair, but I knew she had her cat ears on to keep the hair from her face, and her favorite purple scarf. Damn my shortness for not being able to see much. The food was smelling delicious so who was I to complain?
To think that they assigned her as my tutor…. And by them, I meant the head of the clan which was only one person really and the Elders of the clan, of course. I did remember (although I didn't want to) when I was called before the head of the clan. The Clan decided to claim me finally, after two years of life, though I couldn't say if that happened because they wanted or because they were made to. I did not, however, remembered extremely clear; only fractures of memories of the man who leads our clan and this bat-shit crazy granny, who was said to be called upon with the sole purpose of taking care of me. This was odd. Well, I knew they couldn't just let a two-year-old fend for herself, since such a thing was absurd, but the context was …. odd. I should be grateful; they took me in and gave me a name, well a last name, and claimed me as their own. But these people were cold. Distant. And they did not regard me as anything but a stranger. Whispering and staring as I walked, and turning a cold shoulder. And I? I was far too preoccupied with figuring out just WHAT THE HELL WAS GOING ON. I didn't have time to dwell on all that. I only had time to take in as much information I could and use it, mold it with my own knowledge in order to survive here.
''How long 'till dinner, Nekkobaa?'' I complained playing with an orange cat, which mowed desperately.
''Eeh, aren't you impatient?'' she said turning to me and squinting her eyes. ''I've just started and you better not disturb me! Cooking is an art. And let poor Mikasa alone!''
I snickered at the name. Yes, I liked Attack on Titan, no I did not like Mikasa. I let go of the cat and got out of the kitchen happy to leave Nekobaa to her cooking. She'll call for me. Or the cats will. Another white cat eyed me as I was walking along the hall and up the stairs. I swear these cats could think just like humans. The only difference? They couldn't talk. False. Some can. Yes, but those were kind of far from here in an abandoned city, where Cat Granny's granddaughter, Tamaki, was. She would often talk about Tamaki, with the cats gathered around her. She was, in fact, spending her time divided between me and Tamaki. Every week she would be gone for two or three days and I had the house all for myself. When I was younger she would once a two week or so and some weird fellow – I never got his name – would stay with me. I should be kinder to Nekobaa. It must be awfully tiresome. I didn't spend much time with Cat Granny, despite living in the same house.
I entered my room and jumped on the bed. … now what? I stared at the ceiling as if waiting an answer from the whiteness or from the shadows the sunset was leaving on it. They were dissolving in a fiery orange and red, almost like being eaten by flames. Darkness drowned in fire. Despair drowned in confusion. Or the other way around? I furrowed my eyebrows.
I am soooo tired. Exhausted. I knew Nekobaa would worry again but it couldn't be helped. She knew I couldn't sleep well at night, and the medic's only conclusion was that I did not wasted my energy during the day. This was stupid, since I had no energy to start with, but even so I started taking long walks around the village. This way I could map in my mind and remember every street and alley. There were some that I didn't have the guts to take because they were definitely not safe for a six years old child. How… can all this be real? I couldn't wrap my mind around it. Yet here I was, sitting on a bed, in a world I never would have thought to possibly be real, as a completely different human being, with a different family. Well…. More like NO family. It was…. overwhelming. Too much for my tired mind. I was thirsty for sleep, thirsty for understanding, thirsty for … death.
I jumped out of my bed and reached for a piece of paper and a pencil. Let's see what we know so far. I hit myself in the head with the pencil, jumping back on the bed. I. Not 'we'. I don't know why I started referring myself to 'we' when consulting my mind. So…. I started doodling with my small writing a scheme. First, the blonde woman and the man. Until this day I still didn't know who they were. I was thinking about this constantly. Even in the first years. I shuddered. Those were the worst. I refused to talk to anyone. Not because I didn't know how, or that I was unsure of my words (which I was and still am), I just refused to speak even one word. I can't explain it. I just spend my time thinking, and thinking, letting other people explain to me who I was in this new world, what was happening and take care of me. Even in orphanage. I just waited to...grow. I shook my head.
Back. Go back. Back to the blonde. I wrote above the 'blonde woman', the word 'reincarnation'. It was the only thing that made sense. I remember seeing fractures of a fall and blood. I must have died and then, was born again… here. I hoped I wasn't just forcing those memories or whatever they were into my brain and fabricate them myself. They were my only clue to what must have happened. Reincarnation. In a world that wasn't supposed to exist. Or was it? Perhaps my world wasn't the only one, maybe there was a multitude of worlds and I ended up being reincarnated in such a world. To think that I ended up in an anime… or manga. I wrote that down. I had to figure that up. Well, there weren't many differences between the two, but still. Actually… No. I was NOT counting fillerHELL as being part of all this.
Most likely this was a combination of the two. Back to what happened before the blonde woman. I died? There was the strong possibility that I did fall from somewhere very high and was stuck in a coma and all of this was my mind trying to keep itself together. Then why does it feel like it's tearing itself apart? I massaged my temples and space between my nose. So tired. And yet, if the blonde woman was my new mother than the man was definitely not my father. But he is the one who brought me in Konoha. And named me (thanks a lot for 'Kaya', jackass), and informed the head of the village of my lineage… At least that's what I had managed to gather from Nekobaa. And he knew my new mother which may or may not be dead. I liked to believe that if she was alive she would have searched for me. It was a high possibility that he knew my father as well. My father is an enigma. No, not entirely. This brought me to the next chapter.
I wrote with firm letters 'Uchiha' on the paper and stared at it. This world made me a Uchiha. I am an Uchiha. Which wasn't necessary a bad thing. Yes, yes, it is. I mean what could possibly go wrong, with the exception of the Massacre, in which EVERY Uchiha member dies with the exception of Itachi and Sasuke (and Madara and Obito, but hey! They were supposed to dead. If only)? This was worse than being reincarnated as Sakura's sister. Or twin sister. Or retarded twin sister with the same pinkish hair but horrible appearance, and lower level of intelligence. I remember my consternation when they told me that I was an Uchiha. The words did not link together in my mind. They still don't. I did live in the Compound but everyone rather avoided me and I avoided them.
How did I end up in the Naruto word again? Oh yeah, I still didn't know. So, my mother was an unknown blonde and my father was an Uchiha. Were there blonde Uchiha? I for one, never saw one and Nekobaa stared at me for a solid minute when I asked her. The Uchiha got killed – no, will get killed – by Itachi because they plan an uprising in the village and he has to choose. His choice is to save his younger brother, who grows up to hate him and swear revenge as his ultimate purpose in life. Uchiha Sasuke. I wrote the name with capitals. Who gets put in a genin cell with Haruno Sakura and Jesus – Uzumaki Naruto – Christ. I smiled at the little triangle I made for the trio. And I'm in the same academy year with all of them.
Ah, Ninja Academy. Have I ever complained about school being boring? Academy was pure torture. I wrote it down as well. I could never be sociable. I shove that thought aside. That was another story for another day to contemplate.
So…. what next? Provided that I don't get killed in the Massacre (highly impossible, but I didn't want to think about it too much), I should pass the Academy exam and become a genin. Or should I? I knew part of what was going to happen but some things were a blur. And not because I did not remember but because I never paid attention to the anime. I just had heard about it from a friend and once I started it I wanted to see if I can watch it until the end. The anime was going too slow so I started reading the manga and well, I finished it. But I certainly did not pay enough attention to certain things. And that scared me. My arrival here was not good. I was going to change things and I did not want to. I certainly don't want to. And also, there was the Massacre. Did the idea of it obsess me? YES. If this life, this world was real than I would die, (again) if this world wasn't real then …. I had no idea what would happen. Limbo? What in seven hells am I thinking about? I violently shook my head. I couldn't keep track of my thoughts. Yep, it was one of those days. Those confusing and not so stable days.
Could I blame being of only six years old, for my inconsequence in thinking? No. Let's try again. So, I had to find out who my parents are in this world, especially my father, because right now I was only a bastard, an unclaimed Uchiha child. Uchiha. I shook my head incredulously. Circular thinking. I was trying to get somewhere with all this analyzing, right? Then why was I going in circles and circles and circles…
How am I supposed to get used to this thought and wrap my mind around it? I caught one of my black strands of hair. So different. Will I ever watch myself in the mirror and not see a stranger? This… black mess of hair was drastically opposite from my dirty blonde curls. I missed them. I missed them fiercely. I missed home. I missed my cat, I missed myself. Why Naruto? Why not other fictional world? They I thought of Westeros. And Panem. And Sauron with the Ring. I guess it's not that bad. The Lannisters send their regards.Yeah, definitely Naruto wasn't that bad.
Some scraps at my door announced me that dinner was ready. I got up and opened the door letting Mikasa in. The cat came and brushed my legs softly.
"What is it, cat?" I asked her. "Is dinner ready? Yes? Or you just want some affection?"
I had this weird need to talk to animals even if I knew they couldn't understand a word I was saying, and that I looked pretty much stupid. Well, I HAD to talk to someone and people were not an option because I was afrain of them figuring out I'm different.
"You're a little spoiled ball of fur, aren't you?" I said bringing the cat up in my arms. I could barely hold it. And I hated it. I hated this weakness of my small child body. I had passed adolescence! I was free of hormonal imbalance and bursts of anger. I stopped mid-step while struggling with the cat in my arms and trying to get down the stairs.
"Oh, my Vala," I whispered softly "I have to go through puberty again".
Somewhere in the kitchen the Cat Granny was feeding the five little puffy balls of fur, purring in pure contentment.
Hey there! Yes, this is my first fanfic, no it's not the first time I'm posting this and I wished I had the idea of writing an author's note in the first chapter, but naaah. So, about the story: It's a (I hope) fun ride with lot's of drama, sassiness and a lot of unhealthy coping mechanisms due to trauma. The first chapters are centered on my character and how the new situation 'settles in'. Also, about any ships, I keep to the cannon ones, with small differences, but for now keep in mind the protagonist and the others are 12 :)) not much romance going on for now. So, to keep this short, I'll be posting new chapters every week, unlike my other story (which will be updated once a month due to, ahem, problems understanding what's going on in that manga, because I swear to any gods, wtf). So, I hope you enjoy reading this! ^_^ P.S.: Any feedback is very much welcomed because I want to know what you think about it, what you think I should improve, on what you think I should focus on and so on, so reviews are really appreciated! Now I shall finally shut up, since I had to update this chapter twice in order to write this note -_-