Part Two
"Christ...shit...bloody hell" Sandra moaned.
Strickland opened his eyes to see the sun shining through the window announcing that morning had come. Taking a deep breathe he looked up at the woman in his arms. She had her head buried in his chest trying to avoid the sun and he prepared himself for what he knew she was about to say. She would tell him that last night was a mistake and he should go.
"You okay?" he asked gently.
"No…My head is killing me" she cried out in pain. "My body hurts from the sofa or maybe the drinks I don't know and I made you stay last night. I made you sleep on the sofa. I am a horrible, horrible person, the worst person ever" she added with another moaned. He was not expecting that much candor from her and he couldn't help but wondered if she was still drunk.
"I agreed to stay" he reminded her.
"That's because I manipulated you into being the responsible adult, I was a complete disaster and you are a good person." She replied resting her head back on his chest continuing to hide her eyes from him, the sun and possibly her actions from the night before.
"None of that is true, I stayed because you asked and I wanted to." He told her firmly, he was happy she had yet to move off him but he was still prepared for a fight.
"If you say so but I still think I made you stay. . . Do you hear that pounding? Where is it coming from and why won't it stop?" She groaned at him and he knew without a doubt that she was very hungover.
"I would guess it is you heart beating and if it stops you die." He answered her with a smile she luckily didn't see or she might have hit him.
"Oh right. . .do you think it could be softer?"
"Eventually, but right now you need food and you promised I could take you out for breakfast." He didn't expect her to remember but he was still going to hold her to the agreement.
"I did didn't I?" she replied to his surprise. "What was I thinking? Look you really don't have to continue to take care of me, it is sweet of you but I don't want to burden you any more than I already have. I am sure you have much better things to do than babysit me. And I know I am saying this while still lying on top of you but if you just give me a few minutes I will move and let you go home." She tried to object to his offer, he had been expecting this and was not about to let her out of her promise.
"There is nothing I would rather be doing, I don't care if I have to drag you out of here in hand cuffs you are coming with me to breakfast." He informed her hoping to end any further objections.
"A bit aggressive don't you think?" she asked looking up at him with a questioning look.
"You are stubborn when you are sober, you are very stubborn when you are drunk. I don't want to find out how stubborn you are when you are hung over."
"You would have to use my hand cuffs" she countered weakly.
"Yes I would" he agreed a small smile playing at his lips. "Why don't you go shower and change that will help you feel a bit better and then we are going to eat." He added giving her a slight nudge of encouragement.
"You are being very bossy" she observed grumbling at him.
"I'm your boss" he grinned.
"Not here you're not" she objected.
"Okay, I'm your friend and I am trying to help you feel better. Now go shower and get changed." He told her making it clear he wasn't taking no for an answer. He felt he might be stretching things by calling himself her friend but she had spent the night sleeping on top of him and she hadn't moved yet. All this bolstered his confidence and his resolve.
"Fine, fine you win, my head hurts too much to argue" she sighed giving in and sitting up a little. "Just give me one minute, the world is moving a little fast." She added and he held back his desire to laugh.
"Right, I can do this" she said more to herself than him after a few moments. Slowly she managed to stand up, but once she was up she wobbled a little on her feet.
"You need help?" he asked slightly concerned.
"No I think I got this, just to warn you this will not be the fastest shower I ever taken." She informed him as she staggered towards the stairs.
"Don't fall asleep in the shower" he called after her.
"I heard you, not so loud" she moaned. He snickered a little as she disappeared from view.
Robert remained sitting on the sofa after she left thinking over the situation. He wasn't sure how much Sandra remember from the previous night. Clearly she remembered at least parts like wanting to spend the night on the sofa with him. Yet she had given him no indication that she remembered her admission regarding her feelings for him. He couldn't be sure if she was simply avoiding the topic in the hopes that he wouldn't bring it up. If that were the case her hopes would be in vain, he fully intended to talk to her about what she thought and felt.
He could hear the water turn on above him and he smiled knowing she was taking care of herself and doing what he suggested. As she showered he slipped out to his car and grabbed a fresh shirt, he was changed and ready when she returned twenty minutes later. Her hair was still wet and he thought she looked beautiful but he wisely kept the thought to himself.
"You are going to need to drive I just realized my car is still at the office" she told him as she grabbed her handbag.
"No worries, I am happy to play chauffeur" he joked as they headed for the door.
"You know you could just drop me off at my car and forget all this" she tried once more.
"Not going to work" he told her firmly. He wasn't going to give in and let her out of breakfast and their impending conversation.
"Yeah thought not" she whispered and by her tone he knew in an instant that she remembered everything from the night before.
"Plus I'm not sure you are under the limit to drive yet. It is likely you are still technically intoxicated and I have a duty to keep you from driving." He added playfully trying to relax her, when she didn't reply he continued.
"Come on I'm starving and you must be too. Food will make your head feel better, but I would still recommend sunglasses." He warned her and he waited till she had them on before he opened the front door and escorted her directly to his car.
"Why did you let me drink so much?" Sandra moaned a little while into the drive. Her head was resting against the car window and until that point the drive had been quiet. He hadn't even bothered to turn on the radio, loud music was the last thing she would want.
"There was no way I was going to be able to stop you. It's a good thing I hadn't wanted any wine with dinner. I don't think I could have wrestled the bottle out of your hand." He teased her lightly.
"I would have shared if you asked" she countered and he couldn't hold back his laugh.
"Yes I am sure you would gladly have shared but then you would have had an excuse to opened another bottle as well. If you had done so your head would now hurt worse than it already does." He pointed out once he had stopped laughing.
"I don't think it is possible for my head to hurt more than it already does" she groaned rubbing her forehead.
"I must say I am impressed with the amount of alcohol you consumed. I have seen big footballers who would have been passed out under the table after less than what you had." He replied grinning at her. His goal was to keep the mood as light as possible until it was time for their serious conversation.
"What can I say it's a gift" she countered sarcastically. He only laughed again and continued to drive.
Less than ten minutes later they were seated in the restaurant. The place was small but open and filled with sunlight much to Sandra's dismay. Robert wasn't surprised when she chose to keep her sunglasses on. She sat across from his reading the menu while he observed her. He knew exactly what he wanted to eat and he had a good idea what she needed to order.
"Do you trust me?" he asked her sitting back in his chair.
"What?" she questioned looking at him over the menu in confusion.
"Do you trust me?" he repeated.
"Yes I do, I think last night proved that" she replied after a moment of thought.
"Then let me order for you?" he asked with a warm smile.
"Fine why not" she sighed putting the menu down. "I can't tell if you are still being bossy or just insufferable" she sighed.
"Probably a little of both" he laughed again. He was feeling relaxed even though the conversation to come was a very important one for both of them and the outcome was far from certain.
"You don't need to take care of me" she argued.
"What if I want to?" he countered.
"You shouldn't" she replied darkly.
"I have never been good at doing what I should" he told her choosing to not adopt her serious tone.
"Now that I can believe" she replied and it was her turn to laughed. "So do you come here often?"
"Every once in a while. They use only fresh ingredients most of which are organic. Sometimes I bring Hermione and Rufus they really like the pancakes." He explained and a smile spread across his face as he thought of his children shoveling pancakes into their mouths.
"Well if the kids like it how can I object" she laughed once more beginning to relax as well.
Before either could say anything more the waitress arrived. Strickland ordered an omelet, a stack of apple pancakes, a side of toast and coffee. For Sandra he ordered fried eggs with bacon, a side of sausage and toast plus a large stack of blueberry pancakes with strong coffee. The waitress flashed them a smile before leaving for the kitchen.
"And here I thought this place would be all about being healthy." She commented taking a drink of water.
"Not healthy exactly just fresh, I have suffered through enough poor choices and the resulting hangovers. I've discovered what helps best, I'm sort of an expert in the area." He explained, the grin back on his face.
"Well I may never move again if I eat all that food you ordered for me."
"I promise it will be tasty" he said trying to tempt her.
"I will hold you to it" she replied with mock seriousness.
"Can we talk about last night?" he asked after a brief silence. They had avoided the topic for long enough. He would have loved to continue with their jovial banter but it was beginning to feel as though an elephant was in the room. It couldn't be ignored forever and he wanted to confront it so they could enjoy their breakfast.
"Is there any way I can convince you not to?" she begged hopefully.
"I take it you remember what you said?" he countered ignoring her question.
"Every embarrassing word" she replied trying to drown her sorrow in her water. "It's really not fair to suffer a hangover and remember all the embarrassing things you said while drunk" she moaned.
"Did you mean what you said?" he asked getting straight to the point, there was no reason to dance around it and drag out her suffering.
Robert understood that he was giving her a way out. She could deny it all, blame it on the scotch and they could go on just as they always had before. Sandra knew what he was doing as well, he could tell by the way she sat there silently. She was thinking her options through and he wondered which she would choose. He secretly hoped she wouldn't take the out he was giving her but he wouldn't blame her if she did. Her life had just gotten far more complicated and a relationship with him wasn't likely to help simplify it.
"Yes" she said finally. "I meant what I said." She confirmed but she wouldn't meet his eyes.
"Then I can't let it go" he informed her solemnly.
"I know" she whispered just loud enough for him to hear.
"Why didn't you ever say anything?"
"You know why" she replied softly.
"Despite what you might think you do not ruin everything" he told her firmly.
"You and I both know I do, my dad went and killed himself for Christ sake. I can't manage to even communicate with my mother and my longest relationship is with three pensioners who are most likely crazy." She told him and she sounded as if she might cry.
"Life is messy that doesn't mean you ruin everything. And you are not responsible for anything your father did." He told her, leaving no room for argument on the last part. There was no way he was going to let her take the blame for Gordon's actions.
"He was the first man I loved unconditionally and he left me." She answered and her words broke his heart. A father is supposed to protect their child not tear them apart.
"That doesn't mean every man will leave and it doesn't mean that you ruin everything." He tried to explain to her hoping she was listening to him.
"Everyone leave me" she whispered back.
"Not Gerry, Jack, and Brian and not me" he countered.
"They will, you will" she said and he watched her wipe a tear from behind her sunglasses.
"No we won't but you need to open yourself up and take a risk." He argued taking her hand in his and giving it a squeeze.
He knew he was asking a lot of her, taking personal risks were hard and Sandra didn't share herself with many people. Robert now knew that her fear came from her father leaving her. He wanted her to know that he would stay but he didn't know how to make her believe him. She was quiet for a while and he was afraid she was shutting down and shutting him out. He wished he could see her eyes they would tell him what she was thinking and feeling.
"I don't want to be alone anymore but I'm afraid" she admitted finally as another tear fell.
"It's okay to be afraid but you can't let that stop you from living" he advised her and he reached across the table with his free hand and brushed her tears away. "Let me help you" he begged her.
"I don't know if I can, you won't like the person I am." She tried to argue but he was prepared.
"I see you better than you think I do. I don't think you're perfect, I don't have this fantasy of you in my mind. There is just you- the strong, fiercely independent, stubborn, lonely woman I care about. Who yells at me and is mad at me a lot, and all I have ever wanted was to know her better. But you keep everyone at a safe distance and it makes you sad. I don't want you to be sad anymore. Please let me in." He begged her once more. He held his breath waiting for her to object. He wouldn't and couldn't force her into a relationship but he knew he could make her happy if she would only give him the chance.
"Okay" she agreed so softly. At first he wasn't sure he had heard her correctly. He had been expecting a rejection and it took him a moment to manage a respond.
"Really?" he asked in shock.
"Yes I think so" she confirmed showing him a weak smile. He knew she was scared by her decision and he vowed to make her feel confident and comfortable with her choice.
"Thank you for trusting me" his heart began to soar and he wanted to take her in his arms and shout for joy but he resisted the urge.
"You may live to regret this" she warned him.
"No I won't" he replied still smiling.
"How can you be so confident in something that has no guarantee of success?" she asked him confused by his certainty.
"I choose to believe things will work out in the end."
"An eternal optimist" she grumbled.
"I guess I am" he said in surprise, he had never given it much thought before he just chose to have faith in such things.
"So what do we do now? You seem to have all the answers." She asked taking a shaky breath trying to regain her composure.
"Right now we work on getting rid of your hangover, drink more water you're dehydrated" he instructed her.
"Fine" she said with a sigh taking a large drink of her water in an attempt to humor him. "Are you always going to be this bossy?" she asked taking one more drink before setting the glass back on the table now that it was nearly empty.
"No just when I'm trying to take care of you" he replied sweetly
"So does that mean I get to boss you around when I'm trying to take care of you?" she teased playfully.
"Absolutely, I would be disappointed if you didn't boss me around most days" he answered with a grin. Whatever response she had was halted by the appearance of their food.
"You were right this smells heavenly" Sandra sighed happily before she began to devour her eggs.
"I'm glad you approve" he replied relieved she was happy with the food he ordered for her. Their conversation died out while they both eagerly ate their food. Robert hadn't realized how hungry he was until he took a bite of his omelet. Suddenly he felt ravenous and set about devouring his food at the same pace as Sandra. He was sure they both resembled his children as they ate but he hardly cared.
"That was delicious but I am stuffed" Sandra moaned leaning back in her chair a while later. Neither had much food left on their plates and it made him smile ruefully.
"How does your head feel?" he asked as he finished the last of his coffee.
"The pounding is down to a whisper" she replied.
"Good to hear, a few more hours and you will be as good as new" he promised her.
"I am so tired I could sleep right here" she added and then yawned to prove her point.
"We should get you home where you can take a nap, sleep off the rest of your hangover."
"I don't need a nap" she argued petulantly.
"But you want one and it will help" he countered with a knowing smile.
"That is true" she conceded without much of a fight.
"Then I think it is time to make an exit" he told her paying the check and escorting her back to his car.
"Thank you" she said as he drove back to her house.
"For what?" he asked confused.
"For everything, for yesterday, for breakfast, for not giving up on me." She explained becoming slightly embarrassed by the end.
"You don't need to thank me, but you are welcome, thank you for finally letting me in."
"I'm not good at letting people in" she admitted
"I know, I understand how hard it was for you" he wanted her to know he understood how big of a step she took today.
"I don't know what to do next" she told him. This was the second time she had expressed this sentiment in the last half hour and he knew it was bothering her not knowing what to do.
"First you are going to go to sleep and after that I was thinking dinner would be a good place to start. Then why don't we see how you are feeling. I know it is scary not to know exactly what you are supposed to do but if you just relax I promise everything will be fine." He said trying to assure her that things would find a way to work themselves out.
"You make it sound so easy" she replied softly.
"It's not easy especially for people like you and me, we see the worst of humanity and we try hard to protect ourselves from him. But I promise you it is worth it" he told her with a smile.
"Okay I'm willing to trust you on this" Sandra agreed letting out a breath she seemed to have been holding. She looked exhausted and he hope he hadn't simply worn her down.
"I promise you we won't move any faster than you want" he added.
"What if I want to go fast?" she countered playfully.
"I will continue to defer to you on speed" he replied trying to sound diplomatic but he couldn't hide the slight smirk on his face.
"Home sweet home madam" he announced as he pulled the car into her drive.
"Nice to be home" she said with a content sigh.
"Let's get you inside."
They walked to the front door hand in hand and Sandra gave him her keys. Quickly he opened the door escorting her into the safety of her own house. Robert watched her drop her handbag on the nearby bench before he directed her towards the stairs. He only got a few steps before he felt a tug on his arm, he turned to find Sandra standing in place. With little choice he moved back to her side looking at her confused. She closed the small distance between them and kissed him much to his surprise. At first it was a light kiss her lips fluttering against his but it quickly deepened. He had wondered for a long time how it would feel to kiss Sandra Pullman and he almost couldn't believe it was actually happening-it was heavenly. Eventually they gently broke apart and he looked down at her.
"That was nice" she told him softly.
"Yes it was" he agreed with a smile.
"We can go upstairs now" she informed him with a grin.
"Just to be clear we are going upstairs so you can take a nap nothing more."
"Yes" she laughed. "If we tried to have sex right now I would be sick all over you which would decidedly ruin the moment." She assured him as they ascended the stairs to her bedroom.
Fifteen minutes later Sandra was lying on one side of her bed while Robert sat next to her. It hadn't taken her very long to change out of her jeans and into far more comfortable clothes. He had kicked off his shoes and was contemplating curing up next to her, after their large breakfast he was feeling drowsy as well.
"Will you stay?" she asked him softly
"Yes of course I will, how else can I see to dinner?" he assured her with a smile.
"Thank you" she replied gently taking his hand.
"You don't have to keep thanking me" he reminded her.
"I still feel terrible for making you sleep on the sofa last night with me on top of you" she moaned.
"You have nothing to feel bad about, I wanted to stay. You had a pretty bad night and I wanted to be there for you. Plus, I have slept in far worse place." He informed her thinking back to his university days.
"I appreciate you saying that and I would like to thank you for not asking me about Tom." She added and the smile on her face faded as the sparkle left her eyes.
"And I won't, I'm here to help you in any way you need, but I can't tell you what to do about him. You need to make your own decision and I will support you in whatever decisions you make." He wasn't sure what he would do if he were in her place. There was no easy solution, her life had been turned upside down and there was no way for him to fix it no matter how much he wanted to.
"I have no idea what to do" she admitted with a sigh.
"You don't have to make any decisions right now, give yourself time to come to terms with all of this. There is no reason you need to rush to action" he advised her.
"That is actually some pretty good advice" she replied with a laugh.
"I do have good ideas every once in a while" he joked sharing her laugh.
"I wish I could pretend yesterday never happened. It isn't every day you find out your brother killed his adoptive father." She said and he could see her trying to force the joke but behind it was the hurt.
"It will be up to the CPS but I can't imagine them charging him with the murder he was only a child and he was likely defending his mother…his adoptive mother."
"Probably because he couldn't protect his real mother when she was murdered. He was there, he watched that's why he stopped talking."
"All the more reason he shouldn't be charged and then you can put this whole case behind you."
"But it still leaves Tom to deal with" she reminded him.
"In time yes but in the end the choice is still yours, there is no right or wrong" he assured her.
"He is my brother I can't just ignore that" she objected making it clear that it what she really wanted to do.
"You share the same DNA, your father had an affair and fathered a child that doesn't make him your responsibility." He tried to explain to, he didn't want her to feel forced into doing something she was uncomfortable with. When she didn't reply he felt the need to keep talking to make sure she understood she had some control over the situation.
"You are not responsible for your father's decisions especially the bad ones. This is your choice, families are complicated enough without trying to force things. Don't do anything you are uncomfortable with you will only regret it." He added hoping she would listen to him and not do something because she thought it was what she was expected to do.
"I guess you're right but what if he wants to see me?" she asked nervously.
"I won't lie you might have to talk to him, possibly a few times but if you don't want to be part of his life tell him, he should respect your wishes."
"That make sense to me but I don't know if he will feel the same way" she said with a sigh. "Christ I can't believe I am talking about this as if it were the most common thing in the world."
"Give it time" he said once more.
"I don't know if I can actually deal with this mentally right now." She told him being completely honest with him and herself. She had been acting as if she could think this all out and plan what to do. But she couldn't and no amount of talking right now was going to change that.
"You don't need to, Tom is an adult he will just have to wait. You focus on you right now and that means sleep."
"Thank you" she replied with a yawn.
"Close your eyes, I promise I will be right here when you wake up." He told her with a sweet smile before he shifted and laid down next to her. She continued to hold his hand as she laid her head on the pillow and closed her eyes. The world could wait a while longer, right now it was just the two of them enjoying the comfort only the other could provide.
EPILOGUE
"I am so happy you're back" Sandra exclaimed as she entered the house she and Robert Strickland now shared. When they first began dating over six months earlier she kept asking him to stay and in the end he decided to do exactly as she asked and moved in with her.
"I was only gone for three days but it would be a lie if I said I wasn't secretly glad to know you missed me." He replied happily greeting her with a kiss.
"I wish you hadn't gone" she moaned as he let her go.
"Why? What's wrong? What's happened?" he asked concerned.
"Everything" she sighed sliding onto one of the kitchen stools.
"Okay… Well dinner should be ready in half an hour. I made lasagna, there is fresh salad in the fridge. So you have plenty of time to tell me all about it. Would you like a glass of wine?" He asked pulling a chilled bottle out of the refrigerator trying to take control of the situation for her.
"Yes please" she sighed gratefully. "Have I told you how much I love you?" She asked him with a small smile.
"Not since we talked on the phone this morning and yet I never get tired of hearing it. I love you too. Here is your wine, drink" he said handing her a glass.
"Thank you" she replied taking a large drink as he suggested trying to relax her.
"Now tell me what's wrong" he encouraged her.
"Oh where do I start?" she groaned unhappy.
"The cliché is at the beginning, though did I hear something about you taking a case involving a psychic?" he asked.
"Yes we did but the psychic is nothing more than a fraud. I'm just trying to figure out if he is involved in the murder or just scamming the victim's daughter." She said quickly dismissing his concern over her case.
"Be careful with these fakes" he warned her. "So what is wrong?" he asked once more.
"Tom came to see me yesterday morning, he was waiting for me on the street when I left for work. Then I went and accused him to being in league with the psychic from this case." She informed him and then took several large gulps of wine.
"Why did you do that?" he asked confused.
"Because the psychic said stuff about my dad" she cried out.
"And you think he got such information from Tom?" He inquired trying to put all the pieces of her story together and make sense of them.
"I did, it was a stupid idea I know. And I could see right away that Tom had no idea what I was talking about. His reaction to my accusations confirmed it. I'm sure he thinks I'm crazy. I told you I would ruin this. I ruin everything." She repeated the words she had said to him more than six months previous. With her story out she focused on finishing her wine.
"I don't think one accusation equates to ruining everything. It was only one argument and families argue all the time." He told her calmly.
"So what do I do?" she asked.
"Go back and apologize and then talk to him. Just give it a try see what happens and before you say it- you will not ruin this because you do not ruin everything." He told her firmly cutting off her argument before she could even try.
"Not for lack of trying" she grumbled.
"I'm still here" he reminded her.
"That's because I kept asking you to stay and you got tired of saying yes and moved in" she reminded him with a small laugh.
"Exactly, I stayed I didn't leave and I'm not going to leave you." He reminded her reaching for her hand and she happily gave it to him.
"Give it time" she replied darkly but she didn't pull her hand away.
"No Sandra listen to me, just because your father left doesn't mean I will leave. You are not the reason your father did what he did. You don't ruin everything and I don't care how long it takes but I will prove this to you." He told her as he pulled her up and into his arms.
"Why? I hardly think I am worth all this effort." She argued with him but at the same times she rested her head on his chest.
"I think I am the one who gets to make that decision. And I absolutely think you are worth it because I love you."
"I love you" she whispered in response.
"Sandra I know you are worried about Tom and I know deep down you want to do the right thing. But I think you need to do what is right by you not the ghost of your father. To do that you need to talk to Tom, get a feel for him and find out what he wants from you and not base your actions on fear."
"I don't know if I can" she whispered.
"I think you owe it to yourself to try" he pushed her lightly.
"What if he won't talk to me after what I said to him?" she asked him nervously.
"I have never seen you not get someone to talk to you, you'll find a way." He assured her with a smile.
"I wish I had your confidence" she whinged.
"I guess I will just have to have enough for both of us until you do."
"You sound quite corny right now why are you so optimistic today?" she asked him with a hollow laugh.
"Why? Because I woke up this morning and got to come home to you. We are going to have a delicious meal maybe watch a film or TV then we are going upstairs where I am going to make love you to you" he informed her with a grin.
"Very confident I see and how do you know your food will be delicious?" she teased him.
"Okay I may have been exaggerating on that point, a bit of wishful thinking. Though you can't really mess up a salad. So, I feel good about that part." He admitted with a full body laugh.
"I see, I'll remember that" she said laughing as well.
"Come here" he requested and she looked up at him so he could capture her lips with his own. Once they broke apart he pulled her even closer to him and began to rub circles on her back.
"I know it doesn't feel like it but everything will turn out alright don't worry" he promised her.
"Thank you" she whispered.
"You don't need to thank me" he replied. At that moment the timer went off. "Time to eat" he told her. Giving her a quick kiss before he went to retrieve the dish from the oven.
"I am so glad you're home" she repeated releasing a content sigh.
"No place I would rather be."
The End
A/N- Thank you so much for reading I hope you liked the ending. I was going to split the epilogue into a third chapter but it really seemed to flow better at the end here and I honestly wanted to share the rest of the story now. Let me know what you think.