A.N.1: So I am now working on Chapter Three. I don't really know where the story is going I'm just folowing my muse. I guess at the begining the chapters are going to be coming out every few days, but at some point that would change because my semester is going to start this monday... A.N.2: I want to hear all of you're opinions about the story, even the bad ones it would be a big help for me :) P.S: I have another Fic that I am going to work on too! Not abondaning it! Important: English is a secong languege for me, so please exuse my mistakes :)
She woke up like every other morning, from a nightmare. It was something she had grown used to, so it didn't really suppressed her, what did that was the fact that she had a longer than usual sleep, like three hours instead of two but yeah it was something. She got up from her soft, welcoming bed and headed for her bathroom, the plus to her lack of sleep was the opportunity to have long shower, she had some hours before school so she wasn't in a hurry.
Showering with so much hot water and for so long that there was no more left was something that made her day better that anything. She smiled at the reflection looking at her in the mirror, for her first day as a junior she chose not to care so much, she was a new woman, she was changing and that meant not being the head bitch of the school…Actually that was going to be the hard part, but she left those thoughts for later…She looked good in her tight black jeans, a white one shoulder shirt with some red on it, white Skytop Supras and some red accessories, her black leather jacket was short and perfect, she took it off and looked at the time, she still had some left. One last look at the mirror and she was gone, going to the kitchen to prepare some breakfast, she craved pancakes so she made some, left some for her mom and she was yet again left with too much time to kill…
Dear Diary today is a whole new day, I am feeling better than before and a part of me is happy to be back at Lima. So you kind of missed that part…Long story short I guess?
As you know we moved from Laguna Beach CA to New York, it was quite the move but we lived there only a year. Fran moved to Cambridge MA to start her freshman year in Harvard and we moved to Lima, Ohio for Russel's job or something. We lived there or actually here for only a year again and then moved to Boston.
I was just a freshman here, but that didn't stop me from rising to the top. So during that first year I became a Cheerio and then earned the captain's place I even had a boyfriend and some friends, it was all new to me, it was the first time that I had to climb the social ladder without Fran next to me to push me, hide me, help me. I was on my own and it was scary, I was scared to go back to that girl that was bullied, that was tormented every day and had no friends, had no one, so I became a bitch to everyone. I chose myself before others and now…Now I hate myself for it…So yeah, now that I'm back I have the chance to change that.
We moved at the beginning of the summer after freshman year, so "we would be closer to Fran". But truth was that my brother was here in Lima, is here.
Yeah…About that story, remember what I told you about the other night? Yeah…So my father moved us from NY to Ohio to deal with his illegitimate son, during that time Fran was dating some guy that had a brother in our father's campaign office, so when my dear old daddy found out Fran had a boyfriend that she was living with and he didn't approve of he decided to dishonor her if she continue on "that path". Some stuff happened and Fran found out his little secret so she chose to use it against him, mostly because he had forbidden her to see me, and he had no chose but to gave in so when the summer started in his defeat he seeked punishment for Frannie and we moved to Boston…
I am…
I'm not able to tell the rest of the story…Sorry…It's just still too hard…But…
Yeah…
You know what…I'm going to tell you parts of it every now and then…Maybe that would be easier? Hope so…
She left her diary on the bookshelf and took her jacket and messenger bag looking at the clock. "Mom I'm going to school, there are pancakes in the kitchen!" she yelled knowing that her mother was still asleep. The school was further than the mall so she had no intentions on using her car, she just couldn't handle all the stress and panic it brought to her every time she even looked at it, so instead she headed to the garage and left for school with her motorcycle. It wasn't much, kind of old and scratched, but she felt safer on it than in a car…So yeah…Fist day of school…Time to face old memories and people she ignored for the past year…More than a year…
The looks didn't bother her, what bother her was the whispering. It made her on edge, it made her want to punch someone, but she was keeping herself calm, she was masking all those feelings, not because she was afraid to show them, but just because she didn't really want to. There was no one in this parking lot or school who deserved to know anything about her, or who she was now, or at least she hadn't found that someone yet. She saw the unfamiliar faces and some familiar that just looked at her like she was a ghost…Yeah this was going to be a long day…She walked away from her motor and to the entrance of the school. She was pretty unlucky because the only free spot for her was all the way back and that required her to go through the whole parking lot with all those eyes on her…She was happy that she brought her headphones and they were enough to help her shut of the whispering.
Quinn expected some hate from all the people she had tormented and the friends she left without a word, she expected harsh words, even a slushy or two, she deserved all of that, as a cheerleader she was awful to her friends, to Finn who was the sweetest guy, to Puck, to all the people in this school…Yeah she deserved all of the whispering, words and torment coming her way…So following this train of thought you can assume that there was one thing she didn't expect and that was the smiling blonde running into her for a big breath taking hug.
Quinn's headphones felled off as their bodies collided; she was extremely surprised by the hug and didn't really respond to it. "You are alive!" Britt screamed and hugged her again whispering in her ear something about Lord Tubbington being a liar "I knew you were, but he kept saying that you weren't" Britt was now holding her hand and pulling her towards the Cheerios. Quinn smiled; the other blonde had always been the one spark of love and purity in this mainstream school.
"Britt" Quinn stopped moving, not really desiring to go to the Cheerios, especially now that the football team was there too. So there were too many people she had just left like that… "We can hang out later, but now I have to go" the other girl stopped moving and turned back to face Quinn, she was sulking.
"Promise you won't disappear again" she said and was now holding her pinky towards Quinn, she seemed so serious and that made her look like a cute little puppy. Quinn smiled brightly and intertwined her pinky whit Britt's "I promise Britt" she said seriously and the other girl was now smiling too "Ok, see you later!" and with those words the other blonde started walking towards her squad.
She felt the need to run now, she was prepared for all of the things that can happen except one…The wrath of Santana Lopez, that was the one thing she didn't want to deal with…Guess Quinn was lucky because San was nowhere to be found…She looked around for one more last time and continued walking, she had to take her class schedule and then be the new kid once again, or new/old kid? Okay this was way too confusing…What was she suppose to be? Everyone here knew her as the head Cheerio, a bitch, a celibacy club president, the quarterback's girlfriend, and then his best friend's. Everyone in McKinley High had probably assumed all of the wrong things that could possible happen to her after her sudden disappearance so yeah…She wasn't really sure where she was standing with the student body here and she wasn't sure if she really wanted to know, but as it was in this high school she probably didn't have any other choice.
"Ms. Brown I'm here for my class schedule" she smiled at the woman behind the counter that looked at her with a stunned expression. The rumor mill in McKinley High usually never missed anyone, no matter if you are a loser or popular, a teacher or a student, if there were rumors about you everyone was going to know them even if they didn't want to. Back in the days Quinn used to like that, it gave her even more power, and she liked to use that power…Yeah she was all in the Dark Side of the Force, but you know, even Darth Vader changed so she could do it too…Maybe?
Ok, what's up with you and all this Star Wars reference thing? Her inner voice asked and she smiled to herself, before she would never even admit that she liked that movie, the whole saga actually, now she didn't care.
"Here you go." She gave her a few pages and some stuff to sign and smiled to her politely, showing no interest to continue the conversation.
"Fabray!" Ok that voice…Yeah that voice she hated more than almost everything. It made her on edge, it brought the bitch in her way to fast and she didn't like it, but it was a defense she had grown used to the year she had spent here. "Coach." She answered calmly, and pretending that she didn't had a care in the world, showing only a soft smile and no interest in the fowling conversation. "It's Principal now. Principal Sylvester. "Sue said obviously happy about the title and how it sounded. She took Quinn's schedule right from her hands and started looking at it "So no Cheerios, mm? You afraid you can't get your spot back?" she smiled cruelly with a challenging look. Quinn knew that her old self would jump for that challenge immediately, hell her new her wanted to, but she didn't, she just smiled back, as nicely as she can, and took back the few papers that determent the rest of her semester.
"Not interested in that anymore" She said and walked past Sue, not looking back, not stopping, she just continue walking to her first class…Yeah…She already hoped that the confrontations thing would stop for today, but that was probably not happening, after all McKinley was a small school…So…Yeah…
Calculus was boring, uneventful…And who the hell puts calculus as first period on a Monday? It's like hell on Earth…Quinn usually liked it but not with Mrs. Bletheim, she made it so boring that the blonde had to fight sleep in her sleep…It was a whole Inception thing going on in her head…But there was a plus! There was no one familiar in this class, first it was AP, second it was a shitty class…It was a Monday after all…Glad that it was over she gathered her things and was first out of the door, being all ninja like she tried to avoid any contact with old friends or "enemies" and sneaked, hid, or even pretended to be busy reading…It worked, so that was good…But it worked till lunch came and she had a chose to make…Go to the cafeteria, eat poison food and be the center of attention or just skip that and go to the library to do some ninja reading, so it was an easy choice.
The library was small but empty as always there wasn't even a librarian in it, not many students came here, most didn't even know it existed, except when it was yearbook time…Ok shortly said it was like that room in Harry Potter that appeared only when needed, the difference was that you forget about the existence of the library after you leave it, it was like magic. We are such a geek Fabray…That inner voice of hers didn't missed the opportunity to point out something obvious, so she just ignored it and started browsing through the books in the fantasy section.
"Rumors are true!" a harsh voice announced behind her and the blonde jumped to the sound of it, she didn't expect this particular confrontation to happened now, today, at least not here, and she was doing such a great job as a ninja…Damn… "You are alive, good to know." She felt the presence of the voice just behind her, the smell of tropical flowers that you may associate with anyone else but this person…No, this person…She was…Unexplainable…"It's not like you would text back or call, or even use mail." The harsh tone was still there, but the voice was quiet, maybe a little hurt, but a hurt well covert by resentment…That was more painful than Quinn expected it to be…Yeah things had changed for her during the past year and more, she had changed, and now she was able to admit to herself the things she couldn't back then, back when she was just a freshman… "The bitch bit her tongue or is this you living up to your hair color?" now there was anger added to all the other emotions in her tone, Quinn couldn't find the power to look at her, to turn, to speak, it seemed impossible, it seemed…It seemed too painful to do so…She had no excuse, not a real one, not one she could say out loud. "What? Jesus took you bitchiness? I feel bad for the guy now…" Quinn felt two hands on both of her shoulders, she felt the worm body behind her, the warm touch of a palm to her naked shoulder…Damn it was a bad idea to leave her jacket in her looker…It was a bad idea to have one naked shoulder…
She felt the unwanted movement of her own body, she was now facing the raven black haired girl. Her hair had grown longer or she had grown it longer, she was also taller and more muscular, her body was perfect, it was like looking at a sculpture sculpted from…The blonde didn't knew from who, because there was no talent good enough to create such perfect beauty, so yeah, she was stunned just from that one glimpse of the girl, so she looked down, up, left, right, every where possible, but not in her, not to her, not her…She couldn't look at her…Nope!
"So you are not talking to me?" a harsh laugh came from the soft full lips of the Latina. "Nothing new then" Quinn tried to move backwards, maybe escape, but she had seem to forgotten the fact that there was a huge stack of shelves full with books, just behind her. So she was quite surprised by the rough and hard surfaces touching a part of her naked neck and one of her blade-bones. Santana seemed to notice her intentions and stepped forward moving her hand so Quinn would be looked between shelves of books and the Latina. "There's one thing I don't get" with her free hand Santana moved Quinn's chin so they would be facing each other, and that made Quinn even more frozen than before…Meeting those dark chocolate eyes, full with so much emotion. Emotions that broke Quinn and all of her existence, she was now nothing…She was the cause of all those emotions, the hurt, the anger, the pain, the resentment, she was the reason Santana felt them, and now the blonde hated herself for ignoring the Latina, for being afraid…Just like now, great work you doing with the change thing…That inner voice, always stating the obvious once again…
Santana was studying her, every movement, every breath, waiting for Quinn to fight back, the blonde could see it in her posture, in her eyes. "Not a Jesus lover anymore, not a Cheerio…It's the middle of lunch and you haven't even tried a little to climb the social ladder. Why?" That's what was bugging her? Me not trying to steal her place, her power? Quinn frowned at the thought…I can't blame her for that, I wasn't much of a friend back then and after I left…More like an enemy…Her inner voice was right again…Okay…It was time for Quinn to speak, to say something…She was acting like a fool, and like a scary little kid…She wasn't that person anymore…No more of that…
"I have no interest in being like that again." She said her voice calm and steady, totally opposite to her racing heart and mind. She saw the surprise in San's face and eyes the Latina hadn't expected a response, or at least not that response…
"I don't believe that for a second Quinn Fabray" the use of her whole name woke chills all over her body it felt good hearing it from Santana, and most of all it felt even better now that her tone was calm as well. "That's…" she didn't had the opportunity to finish her sentence because they both jumped at the sound of a door opening and closing, footsteps coming their way. They realized how close their bodies were actually and Santana moved back, giving Quinn the opportunity to turn and run or walk away…She didn't, she turned towards Santana…
"I am sorry for what I did, I am sorry for who I was, I regret it all." She said looking in her eyes, she didn't have time to explain everything, but she was not going to just walk away on her friend, not again…No, she was not that person anymore! "I can apologies my whole life to you, but we both know that that is not going to work with you, and we both know that you are not going to give me a chance so easily" she took a deep breath, because she was talking as fast as it was possible for her, and as fast as it was possible for Santana to understand but not be able to interrupt, and as fast as it was possible so that she can finish the talk they were having before the stranger that enter the room finds them…
"I am sorry San!" a rogue tear came down her face, and she was fast to get rid of it "I'm trying to change, to become better. I don't give a fuck about social status, or Cheerios, or rumors…" the steps were closer now "Give me a chance to explain everything, it's not an excuse but at least you'll see I have a reason to change, that I am trying" She stepped backwards once again and was ready to turn towards the exit, when her turn was interrupted by a tall woman…
"Britt!" she screamed in surprise and concern. Quinn was fast enough to be able to catch the hand of the other blonde and pull her back on her feet when she lost balance. "Are you okay?" she asked and the other girl just smiled and hugged her.
"Hi!" she said with voice full of happiness and excitement "I'm perfect!" she smiled even brighter and that smile was contagious because both San and Quinn were smiling now. "I was worried about San, she comes here only for her…"
"Nothing to be worried about" San interrupted her and that made Quinn slightly curies, but the feeling slowly faded away "We were just catching up" She looked at Quinn and smiled, for the blonde's surprise it wasn't a fake smile but a sincere one, true one.
"Lunch's over" Quinn announced as the bell ranged "I have to go Britt, I have AP Bio with Mr. Pierre and he…He doesn't like people to be late" She smiled and hugged the other blonde.
"Come to glee after school!" Britt yelled after her and Quinn turned her head and smiled softly ready to say no, she actually was thinking about it but there were too many familiar people there and she wasn't ready for some of them…You mean we are not ready to spend so much time with both exes, Santana and Rachel in a closed and not so big room? Yep that voice was always right. "Promise me, please Quinn" And now Britt was looking like a sad puppy…First no one can say no to that face it was too adorable, second if you somehow manage to do it Santana would probably kill you, so Quinn opened the library door and before she headed out she turned to face the two girls.
"Okay, see you after school then" Singing was fun and we are changing, so this is the right thing to do, no more running away…She thought as she exited the library, kind of exited to perform again. But she was also afraid…She was going to face all of the people that she left here, those she cared about and those that hated her and she tormented, she was going to face them all…At once…That…That was a scary thought.
Somehow the whole confrontation thing seemed better now, because at least it was one person at a time…Ok, she had to go through all that, she had no chose in the matter so fear was…It was something she had to ignore.
…