CHP 2

Disclaimer : House MD belongs to Fox and David Shore. I don't own it.

Cuddy's POV

She knocked the door of her house waiting for her sister, Julia to open up. As soon as she did, Cuddy headed straight to her bedroom, all things could wait.

She was utterly exhausted with the events of the day. Just for some time she wanted to escape all her problems and spend some time alone. Luckily, her sister was sensible enough to not come behind her. As soon as she lay on her bed, all she could think of was how life could change in an instant.

Till yesterday, she had her own version of domestic bliss. A boyfriend, a future with someone to look forward to. But today it was all taken away from her. Why did House have to be so damn selfish? Why couldn't House for once in his life allow himself to feel any kind of pain. Over the years she had forgiven him for many things. Be it insulting and humiliating her many times in front of her staff or the razor sharp personal attacks he inflicted on her.

But what he did today was unacceptable. She understood that he was scared about the prospect of losing people but he could have easily opened up to her, couldn't he? At least she would have known he cared about her. But no all he did was go back on the damn pills. She knew it was difficult to think of the possible death of someone you love. She knew it all too well because she had seen him do the same for so many years. Even though it took a long time for her to accept that she loved House, but deep down she knew it all along. She had seen him close to death so many times that she had lost count. If she could watch him almost die and stand by him through all problems then why couldn't he do it for her? Then what was the point of a relationship if House wouldn't be there for her?

Only she knew how terrified she was laying in her hospital bed. She was so scared, so scared of leaving her daughter behind making her an orphan again, of leaving her hospital behind, leaving House behind, leaving everything she everything she ever loved or worked hard for behind. The only person she could share all these things were House and he wasn't there for her because he was busy getting high.

If she was not a mother, she may even have had considered forgiving House. But the key word here was if. When she had adopted Rachel, she lost the right to be selfish. She had to put Rachel's needs above hers. Even if House loved her, the only reason he tolerated Rachel was because she was a compulsion, not his choice and she couldn't imagine how or if House would even care about Rachel if she wasn't around. She wanted a guy who would not only love her but be her daughter's father too, eventually. She knew for a fact that no matter how House changed, he would never be that kind of a man for her. He actually put Rachel at couldn't think about anyone else but him. But it was indeed very difficult to break things with him. How he had been happy on seeing her and opening the door. She felt her heart break at his words ''I can do better''

If only he could, but she knew better. It was very difficult to maintain her composure in front of him because he was practically begging, her to not leave him. His words and his painful expression were going to haunt her for life. But she couldn't break down, not in front of him so she just turned around and left as soon as she could. She didn't know if she would ever get over him but she hoped she would. Exasperated with her day she tried to sleep hopefully tomorrow would be a better day.

3 days had passed since her cancer scare, finally it was time for her to return back to work . She was both happy and scared. Happy because she could return back to her baby, her hospital but scared because she had no idea how to deal with House. She hadn't heard anything about him in the past three days. She tried to keep House out of head and entered the hospital. She bumped into Wilson in the hospital lobby. The brown eyed oncologist gently smiled at her and asked, '' How are you doing Cuddy?'' She returned his smile and answered '' I am fine physically. Emotionally I don't know, I am guessing you heard about our breakup right?'' '' Yes I did Cuddy, He's heartbroken about the whole thing and for the past three days he has just been burying himself into work so he doesn't have to think about it, honestly I have got no idea how he's going to cope with it'' ,he answered. '' He is back on Vicodin isn't he?'' Wilson simply shrugged, he had no idea what to tell Cuddy, House had made him promise that he wouldn't go advocating for him in front of Cuddy. Meanwhile Cuddy's eyes fell on House as he limped into the hospital. It seemed he didn't notice her or Wilson. He seemed tired and his limp seemed to be more pronounced too. Everything was fine until she saw him swallow pills from an amber coloured bottle which she knew all too well. She was sad, shocked, hurt and angry all at the same time. Angrily she looked over at the still contemplating oncologist and said, '' I got my answer, Wilson. You don't need to say anything''. Then she angrily walked over to her office leaving a very much confused Wilson behind.

Okay I know that I am evil and you've got questions about the amber vial. Don't worry your questions will be answered soon. Please Read and Review. I am sorry if I made any mistakes so please be kind in your reviews since its my first fanfic.

P.S Thank You OldSFan, CaskettAddict1993, CacauHousemaniaca, VictoriaCP2,wwareham1, Guest ,Abby and all of you who have taken your time and read my fic