A/N: So, yeah, I wrote this at 1:45 in the morning after I posted the first chapter. This story is my baby, and my need to nurture it is insatiable. Especially since I have the whole thing planned out, down to EXACTLY what job each character will have in 2016 (this story is set in 1998, in case you forgot).

2. Her Name

Her name is Hermione Jean Granger. No doubt you've heard of her, the female of the famous Golden Trio. Forever immortalized by their defeat of Lord Voldemort and his Death Eaters. She was the brains to Ron Weasley's brawn and Harry Potter's magical skills. She is known as 'The Brightest Witch of the Age', and she hasn't even taken her N.E.W.T.s yet!

She also happens to be Number One on the Most Eligible Bachelorettes of the Wizarding World list. Although rumors circulated for a while about a relationship between Ms. Granger and Ron Weasley, Ms. Granger has come out and stated that they are not romantically involved. This is a great relief to the many wizards who have been interested the young woman. This reporter got to sit down with Ms. Granger just a few days ago, and got the facts.

PlayWizard Interviewer (PWI): So, Ms. Granger, thank you so much for taking the time out of your busy schedule to sit down with me. May I just start by saying that that dress hits you in all the right places?

Hermione: *blushes* Thank you. *curtly* Can we get on with the interview?

PWI: Certainly. So, what are you looking for in a guy?

Hermione: Brains, looks, compassion, fire, adventure, no superficiality, faithfulness, the ability to keep with my busy schedule.

PWI: You didn't even have to think about that, did you? Just proves how smart you are. *interviewer gives a 'seductive' smile*

Hermione: Look, is there anything else? I have a meeting with the Head of the Auror office, the Hogwarts Headmistress and the Minister of Magic in a half-hour, and it wouldn't do for me to be late.

PWI: *gulps* Well, I suppose that's all! I look forward to chatting with you again sometime. Owl me!

Hermione: *storms out*

And…there you have it. Such a passionate woman, isn't she? And it doesn't hurt that she's finally grown into her looks. (A.K.A. she's bloody hot!) Oh, and I suppose I should mention that she's going to be going back to Hogwarts to complete her seventh year, which she missed out on last year while on the run; Harry Potter and Ron Weasley will be joining the Aurors. Whatever.

- Article by Norton Blysith

Pictures by Carnin Yuldsin

A/N: Okay, so…yeah. This was kind of awkward to write, seeing as I'm not a guy. If it's as awkward for you guys to read as it was to write, then I'll have accomplished my goal! R&R, and please don't Alert or Favorite without reviewing!