Chapter 1:

Searching the scene Kate's eyes burned…was it the shock of the scene before her or the sorrow of her heart…was it the smoke from the rising flames or the gripping fear that was tearing her heart in two…suddenly the car burst in spontaneous combustion again and shook Kate on her very foundation.

She dropped to the ground feeling the fullness of her wedding dress under her knees…and then it all went black…

Meanwhile…Esposito and Ryan had arrived at the scene in another car with Lanie Parrish, Martha , and Alexis in the back seat…Alexis jumped out to try to reach the car but Espo grabbed her writhing body and softly, sweetly caressed her hair…

"shshshshshsh, hush" he quietly spoke and calmed her as she stopped bucking his every grasp of her small frame…her eyes damp with tears and her mouth trying to utter the words…"Daddy"…

Martha just sat in the back of the vehicle…stunned unmoving…Lanie grasped her hand and that was all she could do as the woman who was wiser than her muttered…"my baby"… as Lanie tried to do her best not to get out of that car and run to see if there was a body, she heard another car pull up behind them fast…firemen were running around shouting and it looked like they didn't even want to get close to the car that seemed ready to go up in flames again at anytime…she looked back behind her again and saw Jim Beckett rush out of the driver's seat… he was yelling something that she couldn't understand and then again suddenly she remembered…"Katie? Katie?", he bellowed.

Lanie patted Martha on the shoulder and told her to stay in the car…so hoping that she would take her advice. She opened the door which seemed as heavy as led and rounded it to look for Kate… she joined Jim Beckett just as he was holding his daughter… cradling her in his arms…softly sobbing…

Espo and Ryan were talking to the state police on the scene when the firemen started to spray their hoses…apparently according to the tire tracks there were two cars and only one set of tire tracks that led off into the ravine…the other tracks seemed to disappear down the road…the fire chief came over to them and quickly briefed them on the next step with the inferno that was a car… according to his knowledge this car had just been filled up and that was why the heat was so intense and the fire pulsating with new emissions of combustion…the boys decided the next step was to see where Castle had last filled up…maybe, just maybe, there was something they could find…they looked back and saw Lanie standing in the distance…looking like she had finally lost the battle to fight back the tears…Espo walked over to her and she let his arms wrap around her like a wave of sorrow... but protection, all at the same time…Espo also noticed something else…everyone but Lanie, and the last car at the scene, were gone.

Chapter 2:

Kate opened her eyes and looked around…then felt the sting of her swollen eyes pulsating and her head keeping beat with it…it was then she remembered …and the tears started to fall again…she felt down as she squeezed her eyes shut with the next round of stinging…How? How? I can't…I just can't…Castle…she remembered back to the time in Willow Creek…those were her last times with him…she could remember his parting words…"I Love You, Kate" …the sweetness of his kiss and her heart ached again fully and she wanted to scream…"Why?!" It must have been a real scream because just then Lanie called from behind the door…"Kate?"

Alexis was raw and she was wrapped up in her favorite quilt on the living room sofa of the their Hampton's home…this was always her favorite place to go with her Dad in the summer…ever since she could remember he would bring her here …sometimes for a whole summer…as she got older camps and science trips got in the way and it seemed she put him off more and more about coming here…she sniffed in the smell of the blanket and drank in the sea smells…it's touch soft …she remembered when he bought her this quilt to put on her bed here…it was a combination of pinks, greens, and gray…and there in the corner was her full name Alexis Castle embroidered in the courner…the daughter of Richard Castle the famous author…she was so proud of her Dad and true the notoriety of being his daughter was very nice…but she was the one who had the real person in her home, not the successful writer, the playboy, the renegade ladies man …but the real deal…the game playing, fever curing, Daddy that made every day special…they were two, then three with her grandmother…until Kate…poor Kate…their dreams…our dreams…she started to cry again…not just for herself but for everyone's loss… then she was snapped out of it by the sound of a tea-cup being offered by the man who would have been her step-grandfather…

Martha could not believe it…as she stared out the window overlooking the front lawn where the wedding should have been…sadness watching the chairs and the arbor with those beautiful flowers being put away into the van parked to the side…a great ache in her heart was consuming her… How? How could one minute she be so happy, to gain a daughter, to gain someone in her son's life that was so unlike the previous daughter-in-laws she had Kate was the ultimate soul mate for her son, her smile widened so big every time he walked into the room, her countenance simply glowed and she stuck with him, even when he was at his goofy worst,which was often. She laughed inside her heart and it burned her at the same time, he was always such a goofy kid, definitely bright for his years but his silliness was often misrepresented to the teachers he had, and there were numerous parent conferences. Then her heart began to swell again…"Oh, God…or whoever you are that commands our lives, I would go to a thousand more parent conferences, principal's meetings, and yes even jail bail outs!…to be with him again…ohhhh please let me have him back again", and then her mind turned to Alexis, "enough of this Martha…you have a granddaughter who needs you!" she muttered, there is no time for this! She needed to find her…

"Kate?" …Lanie echoed…"Can I get you anything, can I come in?" Kate wanted to respond but she just slowly sunk down into their bed again, they had decided to continue their quest to make the places they would own eventually to be their space, so Castle allowed Kate to purchase a more woman friendly atmosphere, he bought her the bed spread in colors that kept is masculine enough boarder but with her touch of feminine, it was a modern comforter with edging that was simple and tasteful, they decided to keep the anchor in the fireplace but added more shells and shell pictures to the walls that they had created with their numerous walks on the beach, her gaze turned to the glass jar on the table next to the bed, it's sea foam colored ribbon encircled the rim and was tied into a bow…these were his shells…the ones he refused to give up even when she tried to cajole him to giving them up stating that they weren't particularly pretty or special, he was so fake offended that she laughed all the way back the house, so she made it up to him, she gave them a pretty bow and a place of honor and as she thought of it again the tears welled in her eyes …

Back at the crime scene…Espo and Ryan began to sort through the chard car's remains…silent …going through the motions of investigation…they had to do this for Kate…Detective Beckett…their boss and friend. Ryan's mind raced to when he first met Kate, she was the new boss, and a very good one at that. She let them be good detectives in their own right and was always quick to show them her strength even when their cases were the most gruesome …her ability not to upchuck when the scene was the most vomit producing was amazing…her mind focused and steadfast to find the perp and put him behind bars…Espo broke his steady thoughts…

"Yo, Ryan, come'er" Espo's urgency made Ryan bolt to the front of the car, in the driver's side was the body, chard beyond belief, and too fragile to move yet. The door was opened by the firemen who wanted to see how badly he was burned and move him if they could but the body was in a state of cooling and the remains were as thin as a twig, Ryan's heart jumped again,very much like it did every time he had to gaze even close to it…

"Notice anything wrong here?", Espo inquired…

Just beside the foot of the victim,his friend…Castle, the goofball who became more to him than he ever thought would, was a small charred but recognizable canister, and it was then that they realized that the car definitely hadn't blown on impact…this was the murder weapon…

Chapter 3:

The rain fell steadily on the window in the living room area as the family gathered to discuss the arrangements for the funeral. Castle's family had spent the last two days crying, and for Kate at least an even haze of "I don't care anymore" had set in. Martha spoke first to the group, "Where should we have the memorial service?"

"He always liked the rooftop that we were going to use for the venue", she looked over at Kate and her face and reaction were numb, so she continued.

"We could set it up and do a late afternoon service, Richard always loved the sunset over the city", she paused. A sniffle came from the floral loveseat as Alexis acknowledged the last comment that hung in the air like the stale smell of cigarette smoke. She dabbed her eyes with the Kleenex that looked like it was five sniffs ready to be thrown away.

Kate finally spoke. "Why are we doing this? He is not here, why are we doing this?" Martha responded trying to be cognizant of the fact that Kate's nerves and her eyes were raw. "Kate, darling we need to plan something to…"

"Don't, don't say it!" she shouted, she stood up and walked over the window. She remembered when Espo came into the bedroom as the curtains were drawn darkening the room in the heat of the day.

"Beckett?" He softly spoke, "Kate?"

"Please just leave me alone", she whispered back. Her hair was matted with a whole night of crying and the pain that continued to wash like the ocean waves that hit the beach. She was still in her wedding dress, hot and sweaty and not caring that she needed to change out of it or risk ruining the beautiful silk in the bodice. Espo slowly came over to the bed and sat down next to her. He began to speak.

"Kate, you need to get up and change. You need to face this."

"I will NEVER face this", she screamed at him. He was ready for it, he had seen her at her best…shattered by the fear that the scar of that snipers bullet had left.

"Kate, he is gone, there is nothing any of us can do, he is gone", he spoke the words she had never wanted to hear and the tears renewed in her eyes again, her moaning increased and the room started to close back in on her.

"Oh Espo, what, what am I going to do?", she stammered.

"Let us help you, let us bring this bastard to jail, let us put the wheels in motion, he was my friend Kate, and I want the justice that is going to be served to this punk!"

She sat there and looked at him through her swollen tear soaked eyes trying to find the words to say but there were none. He was right, they needed to find justice but she couldn't move. She was frozen, her energy was gone, this once brave and kick-butt detective who ran in high heels as an everyday occurrence had come to the end of the line. She felt small and very, very tired. Just then something happened that shocked them both. Kate picked up the jar of shells and dashed them to the floor and instantly she felt sorrow but anger at the same time.

"You don't understand! I can't! I caused this, my job, my lifestyle, my stupid ex-husband crap! I am the reason I am not getting married to the man I love! Someone did this and it was probably someone I caused to come into his life! It is all on me! Because of me, Martha doesn't have a son and Alexis doesn't have a father!"

"How can you say that?",Espo replied, "You gave him joy, you were all he had Kate to hold onto and he loved every minute of it". "Don't you remember how he was, stupid, annoying? And you brought him into being a better person; his being with you was HIS choice! You were everything to him and he would not have stayed away to save his life!"

And with that her anger changed, she got up off the bed and frantically tried to pick up the shells off the floor and in her haste she cut her hand on a shard of glass. "Oh, Espo, how am I going to survive without him?"

"I don't know, Kate, I just know you will."

Her mind came back to the present. Her thoughts raced again like a horse that was let out of a gate. She couldn't be here to do this and to plan that, so she pulled the sweater over her wrapping it around her torso and cradled her arms together, and she bolted, she opened the door and raced out into the pouring rain…

Chapter 4-