Author's note: Please review. Reader's thoughts are writer's inspiration. Thanks!

**No pairings. All stars cast!I have added notes at the end of the story instead here so as not to spoil your reading. Ah-um! no skipping! Please read through each chapter. I promise, things would become more interesting as we move along. Anyway, with Yoruichi and Matsumoto around, who will be bored? :P

Disclaimer : I do not own Bleach!

Chapter 2 - Fun-tastic Revelations!

The ground is violently shaking as storm of fire relentlessly falls everywhere. Everything is ablaze. There is nothing else but sea of flames all around. Hanataro tried to escape the blazing inferno but there is nowhere to run. Exhausted, he fell on the ground. "I am sorry, Captain Unohana. I can no longer be of service to you. Thank you.", as soon as his last words were spoken, flames engulfed him and scorched every part of his tiny body.

"Aaaaahhhhh!", Hanataro screamed and sat bolt upright from the bed. He was sweating profusely and trembling hard. I am so glad it was all a dream, he sighed with relief to himself.

Hanataro 's mind is still fresh with yesterday's ill-fated encounter with Commander Yamamoto. Not to mention that Captain Unohana did not say a word but smiled to him regarding the incident. He perfectly know that the saccharine smile of Squad 4 captain is as deadly as the stoic mask of Squad 6's Captain Kuchiki.

"I would definitely be extra mindful of my surrounding from this day onwards", he loudly promised to himself.

His words were spoken too soon. As soon as let himself back into reality, he realizes the size of the bed he was sitting on. Over sized bed. Purple sheets. Big, fluffy pillows. All far cry from his single-size, plain black and white futon. Where am I?, he shuddered.

Hanataro further surveyed the big room. Brown and beige draperies. Big writing table and what…..?!

At the chair hangs a captain's haori - Captain Commander Yamamoto's very own haori!

Hanataro's heart sank. His entire body violently shakes from fear. THIS is Captain Yamamoto's room! His mind is now completely blank except for the recollection of his nightmare. So, that is a premonition? He quickly steps towards the door.

Wait. What? Did I just shunpo'd?, he is now more perplexed than ever. Does it really mean when your life is hanging by the thread, you can do the impossible?

Before he could even touch the doorknob, the door swung open widely. Lieutenant Chōjirō Sasakibe now stands at the doorway with hands on the hilt of his Zanpakuto, as if ready to strike anytime.

Without a word, Hanataro turned around and dashed for the other door located at further left side of room.

Hanataro immediately open the door hoping that Lieutenant Sasakibe who is just right behind will no longer follow him in his escape. Afterall, he is nothing but a weakling, is he not?

Good grief, the door is unlock. He stepped in - and froze. Captain Yamamoto is there – directly glaring into his eyes.

Hanataro's life flashed before him. Lieutenant Sasakibe is swift enough to catch his limp body before hitting the floor.

"Ahhhh! Good morning!" Yoruichi mumbled to herself. She stretched her lean legs and toned arms across her bed as a big yawn escaped her mouth.

The house seems so quiet. Gone is the usual rush foot traffic outside her room as Ururu and Jinta open the shop. This is unusual. Hold on. Tessai and Uruhara's reiatsu is nowhere nearby, too. Yoruichi opened her eyes. Alarmed.

What the hell? Where am I? This is not my room or anywhere near the alley I normally sleep, she thought. The former leader of Onmitsukidō quickly assessed her surroundings.

Queen size bed. Immaculate white bedsheet. Soft, feather pillows encased on pale yellow pillowcase with gold trimmings at the edge. Long-stemmed pink roses on a white and gold vase at the small writing desk at the corner of the room. Delicate rich brown and beige silk curtain hangs at the window. Wow! Not much fuss or frills in this room yet very comfortable! No wonder I slept through the night like a baby, chuckled Yoruichi.

Hmmmmm, I wonder… whose room is this? Errr, should I say, how did I end up here?,

For a moment, she dangled her feet at the side of the bed before finally stood up. She was horrified. Yoruichi's too busy at her own thoughts that she only realized now that she is on a sleepwear.

When did I get dressed? I seldom sleep with clothes on neither can recall that I did put anything on last night!

Anyway, I will sort this out later. First, I need to use the bathroom, she told herself. She walked towards a small door located about 3 meters away from the small writing desk. This must be it. She opened the door and entered.

Blink. Blink again. Blink once more. No, I must be intoxicated. No, I did not drink last night. Yeah…I must be dreaming! The goddess of flash gave herself a hard slap on the cheeks. Dammit! If that hurts, then I am awake!

She stepped outside the bathroom once again. Okay, relax Yoruichi, she told herself aloud. Slowly, she re-entered the bathroom and carefully looks at herself in the mirror. She laughed so hard. This is fun, fun, fuuuuuuuuuuun!

The intelligent and witty, former captain of Squad 2 realized that something happened. I will inform Kisuke later to get to the bottom of this phenomenon, but for now, I will just have some fun, she thought. I will deal with the consequences later. Yoruichi happily pranced and whirled herself back into the bedroom. She already forgotten why she went to the bathroom in the first place.

Standing in the middle of the room, Yoruichi closed her eyes for a moment and opened them slowly. With a wide grin on her face, she spoke out loud – "Today, I am Captain Retsu Unohana".

There is no way that this can be true! Lieutenant Matsumoto whispered to herself. I must immediately see Captain Unohana.

Along the way, Rangiku saw Captain Hisugaya Toshiro. Oh no, it is too early and he is already on his way to office?, she thought. What will I do? No matter what, first things first! I have to see Captain Unohana.

Briefly, she stopped on her tracks. "Good morning, Hitsugaya Taichou". Yet before Toshiro could answer, Rangiku shunpo'd again towards the direction of Squad 4 barracks.

The young captain with turquoise eyes and short, spiked, white hair shook his head. Why is she in such a hurry at this very early hour of the morning? It is barely 6:00am. Heading towards Squad 4? Must be some medical emergency, he mumbled. Well then, whatever, Toshiro continued walking.

Sorry, Hitsugaya Taichou. I do not have the luxury of time right now. Gotta hurry! I will discuss matters with you later, Lieutenant Matsumoto's apologetic thoughts as she shunpo'd to the living quarters of Squad 4 head.

"Captain Unohana! Captain Unohana!" a hurried voice called from outside of Head Healer's room.

Damn! This early? Is this how Retsu's day starts? Yoruichi inwardly thought. Oh well, it is no different than when I was still with Onmitsukidō. Hour of the day is always out of the question. Time with the role-play, she mused.

Mimicking Captain Unohana's gentle tone, she answered. "I am here. What's your concern?"

Holy crap, this is harder than I thought, Yoruichi said to herself. She was used to speak in a brusque, masculine manner, often times she speaks in a dialect used by elders, such as identifying herself as "washi" (a term usually used by old men to define themselves with), instead of more feminine terms like "watashi", in both her Human and animal forms.

" I am the third seat of Squad 1, Genshirō Okikiba, Captain Unohana", came the reply from outside the room. Lieutenant Sasakibe sent me here. Requesting for you urgent attendance at Squad 1 barracks. Commander Yamamoto requires immediate medical attention".

Yoruichi inwardly groaned. Of all the thousand inhabitants of the Soul Society, why does it have to be the old geezer? She planned to have a little fun but so it seems things ended before it even started!

She stomped her feet towards the door. This should work! After all, getting into this Unohana's outfit and mannerism-practice took all morning! I have skipped breakfast for this, and then a party-pooper called? No, my plans should work, the were-cat is more resolved now than ever.

Yoruichi (within the body of Unohana), opened the door of her quarters. She wore the usual garb of Retsu – a standard Shinigami captain uniform with an obi instead of the normal sash and wore her long hair in large braid at the front. She felt a little uncomfortable as her normal attire consists of a black, backless, sleeveless undershirt, an orange over-shirt with two white straps on each shoulder, a large beige sash around her waist, and black stretch pants with a pair of lightweight brown shoes, which allow for stealth and easy use of Shunpo.

"Let's go, Okikiba"

The third seat followed Unohana as she shunpo'd in the direction of Squad 1 barracks without paying attention to the unusual speed of the Healer's flash step.

Sasakibe restlessly paced back and forth outside Captain Yamamoto's bedroom. His forehead wrinkled in deep thoughts. It was the first time he saw the captain commander in such worrisome state.

"You look so bothered", a female voice called from behind him.

Sasakibe almost jumped out of his skin. He was entirely lost in his own thoughts that he totally did not notice Captain Unohana's arrival.

"Good morning, Unohana taichou. I am sorry to have bothered you so early in the morning". In reality, Sasakibe is more embarrassed for letting his guard down rather than being sorry for calling forth Squad 4's captain.

Unohana smiled gently. "Come. Let me take a look at Commander Yamamoto's condition"

Sasakibe opened the general's bedroom door and lead Unohana inside the chamber. At the middle of the large bed, lies the ashen figure of Yamamoto. His hands tightly gripping the edge of the rich purple sheet, knuckles pallid. His eyes full of immeasurable fear.

"How are you feeling, Soutaichou?, Unohana asked as she sat on the bedside chair.

Deafening silence. No movement. Only Yamamoto's heavy breathing dared to disrupt the stillness.

Oh well, Yoruichi thought. He looks like a kid who had just saw a zombie. Anyway, hope he does not notice ME in this body.

The Gotei 13 general slightly stirred in bed. His eyes met hers. "Captain Unohana, may I speak with you alone?" his voice barely audible as if ready to burst crying anytime now.

Unohana gestured Sasakibe and the other non-seated shinigami, whom was watching the old man earlier, to take their leaves.

Yamamoto motioned Unohana to come closer.

I wonder what would Yamamoto tell me. Is it : 'I see dead people'? Nah, that isn't news. We're all dead here anyway. Or something encouraging like 'May the force be with you"? Yoruichi amusingly thought. She then started to imagine all zanpakuto being wielded like her favorite movie's lightsaber – colored blue, green, red… and wait, there's a purple one too!

Unohana leaned closer to Yamamoto. She heard it. No, she must have taken her imagination too far that even her ears can hear things differently than what is being actually said.

"Captain Unohana…. please help me. I am Hanataro"

Sasakibe could hear Captain Unohana's laughter from within the room. Since when did the mild-mannered captain learned to laugh hysterically? First, Commander Yamamoto acting like a child who had seen a real zombie. Now, Captain Unohana laughing like - a sinister movie fiend? WTF!

It's an unforgettable moment.

Unohana's been laughing her head off for seems like eternity. She squeezed her eyes shut while shaking her head with streams of tears are running down her cheeks. Her laughter thundered off the walls before she eventually slows down, gasps for air and open her eyes wide while sniffling, grinning widely while trying to gain composure.

"Alright, Captain Yamamoto….errr, Hanataro", she continued. "Tell me. For your medication, which one would you like to pick – the red pill or the blue pill?", then once again burst into laughter.

Flashback. Hanataro's.

"Soutaichou" a deep male voice spoke. "Please stay still. I already sent 3rd seat Okikiba to fetch help from Captain Unohana".

Hanataro slowly opened his eyes and saw Lieutenant Sasakibe standing at the foot of his bed. I am still at Captain Yamamoto's bedroom? Why?

The 7th seat of Squad 4 tried to get up from the bed by supporting his weight using his left arms but failed. He fell back to his pillow. Wide-eyed. He began shaking. No, it can't be. His left arm was gone.

Sweats formed on his forehead. He wiped it with his remaining right arms. A scar on my face? Next, he ran his finger through his hair but touch -nothing. Bald? Lastly, He stared down at his chest. Battle scars and toned muscled? Hanataro dared not to look further.

Sasakibe carried on with the one-sided conversation. "I heard you screamed this morning hence, hurried here to check on you. Due to the exigency of the situation, I immediately opened your door. You were already standing at the doorway but ran away when you saw me. I followed you as you scurried to the bathroom and managed to catch you when you lost consciousness upon stepping inside. I wonder what you saw in the mirror?" his long monologue ends.

What? A mirror? Hanataro maybe clumsy but still, he is a medical shinigami. He knows the possibility of impossible at Soul Society is no stranger especially with Squad 12 around.

Unohana made her way back to Squad 4 barracks with a sly grin on her face. She had advised Yamamoto, errrr , Hanataro, to stay in bed and never speak to anyone until she gets back. To minimize risk of their secret being divulge untimely to others, she instructed Sasakibe not to disturb the Soutaichou neither accept visitors.

Tickled pink on the recent event with Yamamoto, she couldn't help but wonder how to make things further interesting. Her trains of thoughts were interrupted by a familiar voice.

"Captain Unohana, my apologies but I believe you are the only one who will be able to understand me. I have been waiting all morning but was told you're with Soutaichou".

Unohana look at the woman standing in front of her. Her face is a complete expression of agitation, disbelief and puzzlement.

"Tell me, Isane. I am all ears".

Her tall fukutaichou, sighed. Looking straight into her eyes, nonchalantly declared, " I am Matsumoto Rangiku"

Author's Additional Notes:

1. To avoid confusion, I have italicized the names of the characters with whom the body was already swapped with another (e.g Unohana which means she is now Yoruichi)

2. Please do not forget to review! Feel free to drop me a note. Thanks!