-.-Want To Believe-.-
AUTHOR'S NOTE: An inexcusable lateness, though I would like to blame it on the accursed writer's block. Floods of inspirations for other stories constantly blasted themselves at me, but none that would help me resolve my two previous story. A sincere apology that it had taken so long. The long-awaited second part.
Summary: College student, Sakura Kinomoto had been taught to hate men. Through all the annoyance of her friends clamoring over how fantastic a kiss is, Sakura decides to try it out on the next guy she meets, who happens to be a chocolate-haired male.
Disclaimer: Do not own CCS.
PART TWO
"…and that ends this presentation," a strong velvety voice stated, ending its demand of reverence.
Applaud broke through the room, some louder than others in admiration, some grimacing with lame lifeless claps due to envy. A quick bow was all the chestnut-haired male gave as he swiftly gather his things together before exiting the rather cramped atmosphere.
His black dress-shoe tapped against the tiled flooring as he made his way towards the front door. Syaoran never liked presentation. It's not that he was scared or shy, it was merely an annoyance. It was an annoyance that he seemed to do well in. He still didn't understand why standing up there delivering a speech along with the slides would make people understand more. The facts were on the slides already, are people nowadays that lazy to simply read?
Letting out a sigh and rubbing his temple with his forefinger and thumb, he wanted to go home. The sun was almost gone while the moon was gaining its shine. Quickly taking out the keys to his crimson-colored car and opening it, he got in.
Within minutes, the sound of the car's engine was heard leaving the building's premises. His mind absorbed the soothing classical music in hopes of deterring or rather postponing some thoughts from consuming it.
The door of room 307 opened easily before finding itself being shut again, keeping out the air that society breathes. Routinely changing his shoes into a pair of slippers, Syaoran threw his suitcase onto the nearby couch before heading towards the long awaited showers.
The relaxing shower took no longer than ten minutes as Syaoran found himself completely tired. Walking out of the bathroom, he glanced at the clock to find that it was merely nine o'clock. Changing himself in a rather silky green pajamas, he plopped himself on the bed not caring that it was too early.
The back of his hand covered his eyes, hoping to help in the process of having the eyes stay closed. Alas, the effort was useless. Instead of exhaustion causing him to sleep like he wanted, it had resulted in his mind fluctuating between thoughts.
Thoughts of a strange day… and an even stranger girl.
The image of a certain auburn-haired emerald-eyed girl entered his mind. Her slightly pointy nose and her scrunching brows didn't make her look attractive. There was nothing at all special about her, but maybe it was her little quirks that got him peaked at curiosity.
He had thought that this little girl with her small physique (compare to his) was no more than a high school student, but his judgment was wrong. Concluding that she was probably a few years younger than him if she said she was legal, he found himself somewhat anticipating it.
It will be amusing indeed, were his final thought as sleep finally succumb him to its dream plain.
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"Mom, I'm home," Sakura softly stated as she shuts the door and neatly took her shoe off, placing them by the door. The words echoed throughout the seemingly empty house.
The house was blind, no lights filtering in and out of it until her hand flicker the light switch on as she entered. Gently placing her bag down on the kitchen top, she silently walked towards the room at the end of the hallway, not bothering to light up her passage.
Opening the door enough to see the occupants within the room, Sakura found nothing that would surprise her. Laid upon the bed in the messy room was a lump of frizzy dark brown hair. The smell of alcohol rose to her nose, but despite never having drunk before, the stench hadn't bothered her.
She was used to it.
"Mommy," Sakura murmured quietly, her face softened tenfold as she gaze around, stopping at the bed.
Soon, crystal droplets were rolling down her cheeks surprising Sakura. Why was she crying? Why now? The sight of her mother was no different, everyday the same, why now? What was making these unwanted tears dripped aimlessly towards the ground?
"Don't worry mommy, I'll always listen to you," Sakura choked on her tears, knowing that deep inside, she was only trying to fool herself.
She clumsily maneuvered herself back to her room, accidentally knocking into the nearest dying plant.
Laid on the bed, the woman had her own sets of tears trailing down her mascara stained cheeks.
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The sun was peaking through the creamy-colored curtains, the small particles of dust visible to the naked eye. The digital alarm clock automatically rang the annoying "beep, beep, beeeeep, beeeeeeeep" constantly as soon as it digitally changed to 8 o'clock in the morning. Nimble fingers snatched out at the night stand that held the contraption.
Feeling through the air for a brief moment, the hand itself slammed down onto the table, missing it the first three tries. Finally the annoying sound halted. The ruffling of the sheets signaled that she had woken up.
Yawning and stretching in order to rid herself of the kinks and knots that her sleeping position had managed to give her, Sakura lazily strolled towards the bathroom.
Approximately half an hour later, the foggy bathroom door opened revealing a relatively fresh face. Feeling and hearing the rumble of her stomach, Sakura nosily shuffled herself towards the kitchen.
In order not to wake her mother who Sakura knew would wake up much later in the day, she quietly moved pass her mother's bedroom door.
With the magic known as the microwave, she had reheated leftovers made the day before; too sluggish to whip up something else besides cereal, in which she noted, had run out of milk. Mentally placing that on her shopping list which she knew she would forget, but did it anyway.
As she munched down her breakfast while flicking through the channels hoping for something amusing to stop her channel surfing so that she could continuously eat her food without changing the channel. Deciding that watching the History Channel was better than the monotonous news, she began eating.
She finished her breakfast knowing that it had taken her too long to eat it; Sakura knew of her habit for eating quite slowly. Placing the plate in the sink, Sakura almost missed a small yellow sticky note placed on the countertop nearby. Double-checking to see if her eyes were playing tricks on her this early in the morning, there was indeed a note there.
Curiosity got to her and forgetting about washing the dishes, within seconds, she was picking up the note and reading it. Her face displayed various emotions as her eyes scanned the yellow paper. Happy. Tired. Amazed. Confused. Most of all, perplexed. Immediately rushing towards her mother's bedroom door, she loudly opened it even as she tried to catch her breath.
Inside, the curtains had pulled up, letting the room to finally greet the sun again. The bed was made and though the room was still relatively messy, to Sakura, it had never felt any cleaner.
A huge smile graced her face, itself reaching her eyes which are now a sparkling brighter emerald color that if she saw, she would have thought that she lost it a long time ago. Fresh tears were staining her face, but Sakura hadn't mind.
In the kitchen, the note that had been so quickly discarded during the woman's earlier rush laid upon the tile floor and on it, in familiar handwriting were the following words:
My little girl who is no longer little, but will forever have my heart,
It's time I began searching for employment so I might be late for dinner tonight. Don't wait up for me. Perhaps… perhaps we can have a nice dinner together once I get a job?
Thank you, my cherry blossom, I love you.
-Mom
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A loser. That is what the auburn-haired woman thought of herself as she sat on the same bench yesterday, waiting for a certain amber-brown-eyed rude man.
Earlier, she had made a call to her three dear friends telling them of the little situation. She wasn't expecting them to be enthusiastic or amused. They were supposed to be threatened! Words like, "You guys better kept your damn words about kissing the stupid male species or else I'm going to kill you" were not supposed to be giggle nor laughed at!
Narrowing her eyes, covering her emerald orbs and vision a bit, Sakura became irritated. Quickly glancing at her watch, she realized the man was late.
Or maybe he's not coming at all, a voice inside her mused.
Instead of barking back an angry shout to the imaginary voice, Sakura bit back the desire to wipe a few certain women's smirks off and thought about it.
What man would be insane to go through this stuff?
Apparently, him, the voice before stated as her emerald orbs absorbed in the sight of said chestnut-haired man.
The same man was slightly jogging over to her, suitcase in hand. He looked slightly funny to the ongoing passerby running in his seemingly exquisite suit and tie.
"You're late," Sakura stated, her voice hinting irritation. The words had leaped out of her mouth before she could fully think.
"You're the one needing the favor here," he retorted, his irregular breathing was noted that he was slightly out of breath.
"Fine, fine fine. Let's get this thing over with," Sakura muttered, crossing her arms across her lilac-colored T-shirt.
He seems to be slightly taken back at how nonchalant she was being with the circumstances. She simply did not think this through…
"Here?" After a moment of silence.
"Well, where else are we going to do it? Don't plenty of couples kiss in parks or something like it?" Sakura responded, glancing at a couple a few yards away embracing one another adoringly.
…at all.
"And I thought you were a woman," Syaoran mumbled to himself though it was intentionally towards the girl.
And intentionally or not, she heard. "What!?"
"Don't you women want your first to be romantic, right time and place?" Syaoran replied, stoic and calm.
"Ugh. Who gives a damn," Sakura lightly cursed before considering his statement. Damn, he's right. A public part is not a good idea, Sakura decided as she glanced around the park again to find that plenty of people were around and that includes the innocent little kids.
"We can't go to your place or mine. Library is a no. Mall is just worst. So where do you suggest, oh-great-sir," Sakura muttered dryly.
"You didn't think this through, did you?" Syaoran asked, restating his earlier thoughts, mildly amused as he crossed his arms in front of his chest anticipating her next action.
What he received, was a long hard stare.
Unfolding his arms and letting out a sigh, he pointed left. "There's a small isolated clearing over there."
Without waiting for her response, Syaoran walked towards the way he pointed. His ears caught a few curses she muttered while trying to catch up to him, but he paid it no mind.
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Sakura was blown away and wondered why it was unvisited when it is so serene. Situated on a small grassy hill was a hundred year old tree. It overlooked the crystal clear pond a few feet away. Sakura fought the urge to dip her dainty feet into the pond to feel the coolness of the water.
"This would do." Sakura heard him say from behind her disturbing her appreciation for the place.
Sakura turned her head around to find the chestnut-haired man glancing around approvingly as his hand ran through his silky hair. For a moment, Sakura felt her breathe hitch in her throat and her eyes merely stared at him.
He was beautiful.
Perhaps it was the feel of the moment or the peaceful surrounding that played with her mind that led her to think such things. She hastily tore her gaze from him as she felt him stare at her back with a questioning look. Oh gosh, did I just call a man beautiful? She mentally asked, lightly shaking her head.
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She was staring at him strangely and he felt scrutinized under her gaze despite her trying to cover it up by quickly turning her head. Determined to get this over with, he spoke up.
"Well?"
"Don't look at me like that, I've never done this before!" Sakura stated, almost shouting it out.
"And I have tons of girls coming up to me asking me to kiss them as an experiment," Syaoran replied jadedly, cocking an eyebrow.
"Then you should know!" Sakura half accused, not recognizing his sarcastic tone.
"You're nervous," Syaoran simply stated with a slight shrug of his broad shoulder.
"You can tell?" Sakura murmured softly, twiddling her thumb in circular motion, a nervous habit she caught on a few years before.
"I don't have all day, you know," he stated, running his hand through his hair while looking for that bench he knew was still here since the last time he had been to this place. And technically, it was a lie. He probably could've been there the whole day if he wanted to; there was only one more meeting a few hours from now.
Sakura mumbled incoherent words at his words and was about to give him another shout, but when she turned around, he was gone. Blinking a couple of times to make sure they weren't deceiving her, at the corner of her eye, she saw him sitting on a bench covered by the shade of the tree.
Stomping over to him to give him a good shouting, her temper calmed as she suddenly forgot what she was so agitated about when she caught him glancing placidly to the distant water. Heaving a discontented sigh, she plopped herself down next to him.
"So, what now?" Sakura asked softly. A part of her hadn't want to say it any louder for fear of disturbing such a lovely moment, but the other part rationalized that it was bound to happen sooner or later.
"You need to get over your anxiety," Syaoran stated.
"How?" Sakura inquired, a bit desperately. She knew that she had to get it over with before her friends get there, but the churning of her stomach was causing her much hesitation.
"Why are you nervous?" Syaoran asked gently, in hopes of getting her to acknowledged her fear and then she would be able to conquer them.
"I-I I've never kissed before, especially a stranger and I feel this is all stupid, but my damn pride won't let me back out and things are just getting worst 'cause…" Sakura admitted tersely, trailing off at the end. 'cause your presence is making me nervous, Sakura thought inwardly, not daring to voice such a thing out loud.
"Hmm…" Syaoran mumbled thoughtfully, a hand tapped his chin signaling that he was giving her situation some thought. After a few moments in which Sakura was twiddling her thumb again, Syaoran spoke.
"Good afternoon, miss. My name is Syaoran Li, a businessman," he greeted, extending his hand out in front for a proper shake.
"Uhh…" Sakura stared back and forth at his outstretched hand and his face before realizing his thoughts. She smiled and shook his hand, "Nice to meet you, I'm Sakura Kinomoto, a current student at the nearby university."
"Ah, no wonder you look young," Syaoran stated with a slight grin disregarding the huff she made as he continued, "so tell me a little about yourself."
"Well… I'm not exactly sure where to start," Sakura replied sheepishly.
"What about your major, what do you want to become?" Syaoran asked after a brief pause.
"Well, I'm majoring in cosmology hoping to become a participant to decoding the world beyond Earth," Sakura responded, her eyes glanced upward to the sky as she spoke, "Also, I want to have a minor in business management."
"Ah, a fellow business person, perhaps, one day, we'll be doing business with one another," Syaoran stated, slightly amused.
"That would be… nice," Sakura breathed out. For some reason, his presence had somehow surrounded her, subconsciously pulling her closer even if the distance between them was the same as when she had sat down.
"What about your family?" Syaoran asked, having felt that slight atmosphere change with her words.
"I have a wonderful mother who-" Sakura began, but stopped mid sentence when she realize something her mother had told her when she was younger and the words she had uttered just only last night. Gasping at her near breaking of the trust with her mother, she abruptly stood up, still in relative shock.
"Are you okay?" Syaoran asked, slightly concern at her suddenness.
"N-no- I mean yes. I… err… I have to go. Never mind this," Sakura stuttered her words a bit and she rushed to finish them in order to leave this man that was making her nervous and worst, she was going to forget her mother's words if he was still in her vicinity. Somehow, with the forbidden thoughts that she couldn't further talk let alone do anything with this man, it made him more appealing. It was like reaching for the forbidden fruit and she desperately wanted to do so.
She was barely able to restrain herself from reaching out. She turned to swiftly leave, not wanting to stay any longer, but a hand grasped her wrist and with a strong pull halted her movements. Sakura daren't glanced around at the man who is still holding her wrist.
"Why?" she heard the velvet strong rumble of his words reach her ears and she inwardly shiver in excitement. It was tempting, the fruit within her grasp.
"I- I just have to," Sakura said softly, turning around only to see the hold he had on her hand. She tried to pry his hand open with her free one, but as she barely touched him, her hand immediately retreated at the warm contact. It was then that she felt the warmth radiating from his hold onto her wrist and the more she tried to wiggle out of his grasp, the stronger his hold was.
"What are you so afraid of?" Syaoran asked as he watched her desperately tried to pry her hand away and tightened it even more, hoping that she would stop before he could hurt her with his firm grip. He didn't know what had possessed him to stop her, but her panic tone had caught his attention and he was curious. It had also held a hint of guilt?
"N-nothing," Sakura vainly stated, the stuttering hadn't help persuaded him. Still looking down at his grasp on her hand, Sakura whispered urgently, "please, let me go."
"Not until you tell me what's going on," Syaoran stated determinedly.
"Nothing is going on!" Sakura frantically cried. However, her frenzied tone hadn't made him release her. Sighing dejectedly, she stated, "You."
"What?"
"You. I'm terrified of you!" Sakura shouted, finally able to lift her head up and she glared at him fiercely.
Syaoran stared at the girl in front of him. Her emerald eyes were glaring at him and he hadn't doubt that she would've turned him to ash if she had gotten the chance. Her answer befuddled him. She was scared of him? Why? He asked himself. He hadn't done anything that would make her terrified of him. Taking another glance at her face, he saw her emerald eyes for a brief moment behind the glare. That short moment was enough and piecing his earlier question together, he was able to make out a reasonable reason why she was terrified.
"You're terrified of me?" Syaoran asked, his voice dropped to a low murmur before pulling her closer to him, earning a small gasp from her. He held her wrist in between their chests and spoke in a husky voice as he leaned closer to her, "or are you afraid of…"
He inched closer and Sakura couldn't think as her mind went into a hazy frenzy.
"…this."
His last word breathes and she was barely able to register it in her brain before he descended his lips upon hers.
There were no explosions of fireworks and the world didn't stop in time for them- she could vaguely hear the chirping of the birds in the background. Everything hadn't felt right or magical either. She could still feel the shoulder of weight upon hers of her mother's words. Sakura had been right. This expectation was overrated and exaggerated for girls to dream. The gentle sweet first kiss she heard so many times instantly combust into flames because that's not what this intimacy between her and the man before her felt like.
The kiss was rough and awkward. She didn't know what to do and instincts hadn't told her to close eyes, but the feeling that she couldn't bear leave them open to look at him had made her do so. Sakura felt no strength in her to wage the battle when his tongue entered since she had unknowingly part her lips hoping to have the opposite result. She endured the feel of him tasting her without putting up a fight; the battle was his before it started. Her knees hadn't felt weak and her body hadn't melted into his arm. She did, however, felt the need to take a step or two back, almost in an attempt to retreat from the force he was exerting. Her only obstacle had been one of his hands positioning itself strategically on the back of her neck. There was nothing wonderful with the kiss…
However, Sakura felt a strange surge of warmth rush through her body. The kiss had been full of force and perhaps a passion of some sort. She had felt overwhelmed by it all; perhaps she had been unready for it. It was a bizarre sort of overwhelming where her head felt itself light.
The lightheadedness was due to the lack of oxygen within her lungs, perhaps. For those moments where his lips covered hers, she had forgotten to breath and now the need for oxygen engulfs her. As it is, it was the same for her companion as she found the force on her lips gone seconds later.
Their breathing had became labored for the lack of air in the last minute or so and Sakura hadn't bothered to glance at him, she was too occupy with trying to catch her breathe. Her lips were relatively numb after the experience. Her wrist had been released by his hand the moment they step apart to take in air. The circulation of blood was slowly returning to her wrist and hand.
"Guess I should apologize for that," Syaoran stated when he was able to find his breath again.
His voice ricochet into her ears and finally, she glanced up at him. He had a sheepish grin on his face creating a boyish appearance when he then scratched the back of his head. Sakura didn't know how to respond. The kiss had been what she had anticipated it to be, but a hidden feeling told her that it was beyond what she had expected. She then did the only thing that she felt she should do.
"I-I should go," the words softly left her lips and somehow her voice had sound foreign to her. If she were to leave now then there won't be a chance for them to meet again. She could forget about all that had happen. She could nurse her pride back again after telling her friends she couldn't go through with it. She could go back to her mother when she erased the image from her head.
She had to leave.
Yet, her feet had rooted itself to the ground, unwilling to move under her brain's command. A few seconds later, as if the command had been lost along the way, she was able to move her feet after the third demand.
"Wait," the voice behind her whispered gently.
Once again, Sakura found herself in his grasp. However, unlike the first time, his grasp was gentle and it was enough to stop her. Nothing was said for a few seconds, but Sakura could feel her heart beat rapidly as his hand slid down her hand stopping at her fingers before softly intertwining their fingers together. Sakura's breath hitched in her throat at the familiarity. The strength when she tried to wriggle out of his grasp had diminished and she was left to allow him to do so. Her attempt to avoid eye contact was easily conquered with a slight nudge of their intertwine hands. Soon her emerald orbs clashed with his amber eyes.
Syaoran had decided. The force he had placed into his kiss had overwhelmed her, but he couldn't help it. He had somewhat wanted to apology to her for the kiss- he was sure it had been awkward for her when she hadn't known what to do. He had better kisses, yes, but the passion behind his action suppressed those before hers and given the amount of time, he felt that it could possibly go further. When she murmured her desire to leave, he had to stop her. The gentleness of his grasp surprise even him as his calloused fingers slipped into her tiny ones.
"Let's give this a try," he stated, rather huskily when their eyes met. He watched as her lovely bright green eyes danced around his statement and his own eyes reassure the firmness of his words.
"I-," her hesitant tone along with her confused eyes made him interrupt.
"I can't promise you much. I can't tell you that this would work out, but I would like it if you give it a try," Syaoran told her honestly. It was true. They hadn't known each other long enough to be called friends, let alone anything more. "You owe me a favor."
"There's going to be difficulties," Sakura muttered aloud, her own eyes in understanding, flashing an acknowledgement to his earlier statement.
"I know," he replied confidently.
"I'm not attractive of any kind nor am I the nicest person or-"
"It's alright," Syaoran assured as he watch her slightly nimble at her lower lip which is still relatively pink from events passed.
"I have secrets."
"So do I," Syaoran responded in kind.
"There's no guarantee, is there?" Sakura asked softly, her emerald eyes soften and it seemed to turn a lighter shade of emerald.
"There's no guarantee in life," Syaoran replied sheepishly before squeezing her fingers gently and allowing a small smile to light up his face.
"I really want to believe…" Sakura trailed off, but somehow he knew what she had meant.
"Then believe."
A while later…
"Hey! Didn't Sakura-chan asked us to meet her here?" a confused pair of eyes belonging to a burgundy-colored hair glanced around the park unable to find a familiar face.
"Yea… so where is she!?" Chiharu demanded, her hands stationed on her hips in mock anger.
The owner of a pair of amethyst orbs drew a knowing smile as she glaze over the latest text message that a certain auburn-haired girl had recently sent her. Her small smile grew wider the further she went despite a small threat at the end. Softly shutting her phone, she gave a glance to the other two and wondered how long she should make them wait before telling them the news.
"Do you think she ran off with him and elope!?" Chiharu exclaimed, as if the idea was such a common sense.
"No way! Sakura-chan isn't someone like that! She would probably marry him somewhere in the mountain side first!" Rika replied, her arms crossed in front of her chest in wise understanding- as if.
Tomoyo let out a soft giggle and decided, this was too much fun to watch.
Gambate, Sakura-chan.
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Fin.
Gambate = "Go for it!" "Try your best!"
A/N: Yes, I know it's an open-ended ending and that is how I had wanted it (except it's not as good as the ending that I wanted). It's merely a oneshot (in two parts obviously) that pertains to the beginning of life (or rather a hint of it) and that turning point, no matter what it is, in romance, family, friends, life itself, etc. As you can see, I've laid out the conflict, though it seems to be slightly solved at the end, though not fully. It's really up to you to decide.
However, if you want to imagine a happy ending, feel free to let your mind wander and I would be happy to hear from you about it.
And if there are any grammatical errors, my deepest apology goes out.
Thank You!!
-oneandoneis37