Chapter 2

Matt Bluestone leans casually against the doorframe, a mug of coffee in his hands. He takes a moment to hold his face close to the steam before venturing: "Have you considered just…y'know…" he shrugs. Winces apologetically. "…Doing it?"

Elisa doesn't look up from the controls at the photocopier. There's a smudge of printer ink across her nose, and the already taunt expression on her face is turning steadily darker with each passing minute. Naturally the copier has chosen to crash now, just when there's a ton of paperwork to get through before she can turn in from her shift. Given both her general sleep deprivation and the recent awkwardness with Goliath, what had started out as a mildly irritating technical problem is rapidly promising to tip her over the edge into a full blown temper.

The copier emits a shrill beeping tone. Elisa hisses in frustration and hits the reset button with more force than is strictly necessary. "Do what?"

Matt quirks his mouth in sympathetic amusement. "Jeez, Maza, I know it's been a while, but you do remember what sex is, right?"

Elisa shoots him a look that would wither the balls of lesser men. Matt's no coward, but he's sensible enough to duck his head and pretend to take a sudden interest in the contents of his mug nonetheless. She glares at him like that for a few seconds further, then huffs, shakes her head, and ostensibly returns her attention to the copier. "See, this is why I don't come to you for advice more often, Matt," she mutters, tersely. "Because you suck at it."

Matt hazards a glance at her from over the rim of his mug, and if he notices the blush that has crept into her cheeks, then he at least knows better than to bring it up. He takes a grateful sip of coffee before continuing: "Look, all I'm saying it that it'll break the tension. It's kind of hard to feel self-conscious around someone after you've shared body fluids, right?"

Elisa thinks that she would like to disagree - she's had enough experience with post-coital awkwardness in her time to know that sex generally exacerbates weirdness rather than resolves it - but even privately, it doesn't feel right to start bringing up the ghosts of boyfriends past when discussing her situation with Goliath. Instead, she lifts her chin and schools her expression into something approaching indifference. "Goliath and I have had exactly one kiss," she reminds him pointedly. "I don't think we're ready to jump into bed just yet."

"Well you might not be, but Goliath…"

"…Is old-fashioned. Like, dark-ages old-fashioned. He takes things like that seriously." She pauses to reload the paper in the copy tray, meeting Matt's gaze with a steady self-assurance that she wishes she actually felt. "Trust me, he doesn't want to rush things anymore than I do."

Matt is sceptical. He's seen enough of the two of them together to suspect that Goliath's feelings moved on from chaste admiration to unambiguous sexual interest quite some time ago, but clearly, that isn't what his partner wants to hear right now. He sets his coffee mug down on a nearby desk and moves around to examine the photocopier controls. Starts pressing buttons. "Okay, sure, whatever you say. But just one kiss? Elisa, it's been over a week. You need to start moving things along."

Elisa sighs and lowers her eyes. "I want to," she says quietly, and there's something so honest in her voice at that moment that it catches him by surprise. "Really, I do. But every time I'm around him I just…I don't know, freeze." She frowns again, but this time, it's not directed at him - her focus is turned inward, examining some interior aspect to her character that she has discovered and finds that she does not like. "I don't know why I do that," she admits finally after a pause.

Matt goes very still beside her. After a moment's hesitation, Elisa turns to meet his gaze, and finds that he's smiling tiredly down at her. There's a faint suggestion of stubble across his lower jaw, and his tie is stained and sloppily knotted. He looks worn-out, and somehow older, and Elisa wonders just how much the events of the past few weeks have impacted him too.

"Because you like him," he says. And God, it all sounds so simple when he puts it like that.

Elisa nods, and has to swallow once around the sudden tightening in her throat. She appreciates the fact that Matt doesn't use the other L word…the one that she and Goliath have been dancing around ever since the night at the dam, and maybe some time before then as well. Because she really does love Goliath - loves him in a burning, soul-deep way that scares her to her very core - but she doesn't think that she could cope with naming those feelings and making them real. Not yet, anyway.

"Yeah," she admits, and her voice is little more than a whisper now. "But…he's my best friend, Matt. No, he's more than that…I can't even put it into words. And if this doesn't work out and I loose him…"

She trails into silence, unable to finish. All of her fears and apprehensions come rushing at her like a tide, and for a dizzying moment, she can hardly breath for fear of it. But then she feels the weight of Matt's hand fall gently upon her shoulder, and it's enough to pull her back into herself.

"Have you tried talking to him about how you feel?" Matt asks, keeping his voice low, steady.

"No."

"Well," Matt fixes her with a level look. "Don't you think you should?"

At that moment, the photocopier unexpectedly whirrs into life again with a shuddering clamour. Elisa covers his hand gratefully with her own and squeezes, but then quickly pulls away. Puts up the shutters once again and tries to refocus on her work.

"Yes. No. I don't know…it's complicated."

Matt watches her closely as she busies herself with starting to feed reports into the copier. Trying to get Elisa to open up about her feelings reminds him of trying to befriend the neighbourhood strays as a kid. You couldn't make any quick movements that might scare them away. Couldn't approach them too loudly, or demand too much from them. You just had to be quiet and persistent, and give them enough space to draw away when they got too skittish. He can see that Elisa is wanting to retreat back to the safety of her own fortifications now. Knows that it's wisest to let her go, and yet…

"But if you're not going to talk," he says slowly, "And you're not going to screw, then what's the point in even being together?"

And Elisa doesn't say anything to that one...because, God help her, she doesn't know the answer herself.