Tasuki: Aw yeah! Now it's the bandit's turn to write! TA's passing the pencil to me this time, and am I gonna have a damn good time! Just keep bringing the saké and wait for the fun to start! Oh yeah, TA doesn't own any of this. Now, it give me great (you have no idea) pleasure to present….
Hansel-home and Miaka-Gretel
Once upon a fuckin time –
TA: LANGUAGE! whacks Tasuki
Ow! Dammit, ya dumb woman….mumbles anyway, once upon a….time….there lived an old woodcutter named…Hotohori.
Hotohori: me?! OLD?! A man with my looks cannot be old….
In this you are. Deal with it. Anyway, this woodcutter was also a…what's the word…bachelor?
TA: sniggers A bachelor with two kids?
O_o um, good point…
TA: Try widower
Yeah! That was it! This woodcutter was a widower, and he had two kids named Hansel-home and Miaka-Gretel. One day, he met a not so lovely woman named Nuriko, who was really a man.
Nuriko: A WHAT?! TASUKI!!!
TA: you're digging your own grave Tasuki-chan….
I can see that sweatdrop. Back to MY story, and the next person to interrupt without reason gets Rekka Shiened! the fan goes off, setting fire to Hotohori's hairHotohori runs around before dunking his head in those things called toiletsthe author grins Now even though they were brother and sister, Miaka-Gretel and Hansel-home loved each other very much.
Miaka-Gretel: Hansel-home
Hansel-home: Miaka-Gretel
Miaka-Gretel: Hansel-home
Hansel-home: Miaka-Gretel
Miaka-Gretel: Hansel-home
Hansel-home: Miaka-Gretel
TA: Way to go Tasuki……
Hotohori also loved his daughter very much, so Nuriko was jealous. He told Hotohori one day that Miaka-Gretel and Hansel-home were being very inappropriate for siblings, and insisted that they be sent away. But Hansel-home overheard them plotting, and took his collection of gold coins before Hotohori took him and Miaka-Gretel into the woods the next day. As they walked, with tears in his eyes, Tamahome tossed a shiny gold coin behind him, so he could follow the way back. As the three reached the middle of the woods, Hotohori turned and ran away. Miaka-Gretel began to cry because they were lost and she was a crybaby. Hansel-home patted her and said, "Don't worry Miaka-Gretel, I threw some of my sniff coins behind us as we walked." However, as Hansel-home turned to lead his bitchy sister back to their damn house–
TA: groans you were doing so good Tasuki-chan….
Aw stop yer whining, ya dumb woman. As they turned to go back, the first thing they saw was a drop dead gorgeous fanged bandit holding a bag of coins.
"Thanks for the cash kids!" the bandit laughed and ran away. Hansel-home sweatdropped, then shrugged.
"Oh well. Let's go find a place to stay."
So Hansel-home and Miaka-Gretel began to wander around in the woods. Finally, minutes later, Miaka-Gretel began to complain about being hungry. Her nose drifted into the air, and with a shout of "Food!" she ran off.
"Miaka-Gretel!" Hansel-home took off after Miaka-Gretel. When he found her, her mouth was latched onto the side of an enormous gingerbread palace.
"Mm-mm-mm…" Miaka-Gretel munched. Hansel-Home sighed, then sweatdropped as the door slowly opened to reveal…Nakago in a pink ballet tutu!
TA: O_o plot twist!
Nakago: Curses! Wrong costume!
Nakago ran back into the house, Hansel-home staring after him and Miaka-Gretel still munching on the house. When Nakago returned, he wore…a playboy bunny costume, complete with tail and heels.
Nakago: A curse on my costume designer!
TA: Leave it like that.
Sweet! In the meantime, as Nakago tried his hardest to find his witch costume which the bandit from before had conveniently stolen, Miaka completed devouring the house, revealing Nakago quite lacking clothing as he changed in his room. The Drooling Nakago Fan club (president Soi and VP Tomo. Few members besides them) took chase, and Nakago was forced to streak through the forest with the DNFC behind him the whole way.
TA: Tasuki?
Yeah?
TA: I'm never letting you write another fic again.
Fine by me! Back to the damn fic I write. After Nakago vanished, Hansel-home opened a cupboard to find piles and piles of gold and jewels. Money signs in his eyes he filled bags and pockets and even Miaka-Gretel's mouth with the jewels (which he soon regretted. She ate the jewels from hunger.) Then they began to make their way home. They came upon a lake that hadn't been there before, and a duck was swimming in the middle. Instead of being logical and just walking around the lake, he called to the duck asking to be carried across. The dumb ass duck came and took Miaka-Gretel across the lake. However, as it began to take Hansel-home across, the weight from the jewels began to weigh it down. Rather than abandon his precious jewels, Hansel-home sank and drowned, the duck swimming back to the top of the lake. Miaka-Gretel cried and cried, just like her little cry-baby self until the hot-ass bandit came along. He dried her tears and took her away and everyone lived happily ever after, except for Hotohori who was stuck with a fuckingaycrossdresserforawifetheend!
Tasuki dropped his pencil and ran, Nuriko not too far behind him
TA: sweatdrops Okay, next time, Chiriko writes…..