MEANWHILE BACK AT THE HOSPITAL
Cuddy stormed into Wilson's office. "Where the hell is he?"
"Huh, wha." Wilson quickly clicked his mouse button, and sat up in his seat trying very hard not to look guilty.
"House! Where is he?" Cuddy stood close to his desk, glaring down at him. Wilson thought he might pee his pants. She was NOT happy.
"I don't know." He tried to avoid her gaze, glancing around his office. He really needed to redecorate. His office had been exactly the same for years. No wonder he felt like he was in a rut. She pulled him out of his tangent.
"What do you mean you don't know? You always know where he is." She glared at him, hoping he'd crack. "Did he tell you not to tell me where he is? Is he doing something illegal?"
"Would you want to know if he was?" Wilson tried to act as though he knew nothing. Something told him Cuddy wouldn't be so happy about House left unattended at a patients home, especially not a patient who had given as much money to the hospital as Renata Rollins had.
"You really don't know where he is?" She didn't sound totally convinced.
"Uh, no." Crap! That didn't sound convincing at all. "I'd tell you if I did."
She started tapping her foot impatiently. He hated when she did that. "No you wouldn't."
Wilson cracked easily under the pressure. "He's with a patient."
"I've looked all over the hospital; he's not with a patient. Where is he?" She had a rather irate clinic patient waiting in her office, who had spent the past half hour coming up with creatively derogatory names for the good doctor.
"He's not in the hospital." Wilson squirmed in his seat.
"What do you mean he's not in the hospital?"
"What do you think I mean?" He sounded more nervous than defiant.
"He went to a patient's house?" That was interesting.
"It's some writer, he's a fan." Wilson still didn't get the appeal of a creepy woman who wrote scary books.
"Renata Rollins?"
"You know her too?" Wilson was feeling very out of the loop.
"House lent me a book once." Cuddy blew off the question quickly. "That woman is very disturbed." Cuddy had nightmares for weeks after reading the book House had given her, The Door at the End of the Hall. She shivered now, as bits of it came back to her.
"Well, no wonder he likes her." Wilson snickered.
"Call him." Cuddy handed him his receiver. "Tell him he needs to come to the hospital right away."
"Why don't you call him?" Wilson tried to hand it back, but she didn't take it.
"Because if I tell him I want him back here, he won't come back here." She rolled her eyes.
"What do you want me to say?" Wilson hated being wedged in the middle of House and Cuddy's battle of wills.
"Tell him you have a hot patient. That always gets his attention."
Wilson dialed House's number and waited. The line kept ringing. Finally he heard House's voice. "You have reached my cell phone. I don't want to talk to you right now. If you leave a message, I won't call back." Wilson hung up without leaving a message. "It's his voice mail."
Cuddy sighed. "How long has he been there?"
Wilson looked at the clock. Time had flown. "Over three hours." Now he was worried.
"What?" Cuddy could see the sudden change in Wilson's expression.
"Nothing." Wilson shook off the bad feeling he was having in the bottom of his gut.
"Wilson, you're the worst liar I've ever met."
"That place…I just have a bad feeling."
Cuddy smiled uncomfortably. "I have it too."
"Wanna go for a ride?" Wilson asked sheepishly.
"Meet me in the garage in ten minutes." Cuddy hurried back to her office. Mr. Harrison was waiting for her and had grown expotentially more aggrivated as the minutes ticked by.
"Where is he?" Harrison stood up and looked behind her. His fists were clenched, ready for a fight.
"I'm sorry Mr. Harrison," she hurriedly began to usher him toward the door as she spoke. "Dr. House is with a critical patient right now, and taking him away from what he is doing would surely be detrimental to that patient at this moment."
Harrison dug his heals in. "What about his detrimental actions toward THIS patient?"
Cuddy tried to surpress a giggle. "Mr. Harrison. I understand perfectly why you are upset..."
"Upset? I am beyond upset. I have been waiting here for..."
"I understand that House yanking that pen out of your rectum in such a careless manner was humiliating and painful. It was wrong of him to do, and he will be repremanded for it. But it did not cause you any long term harm or affect your overall health, so while I appreciate your desire to cause him equal pain and humiliation, I do not generally take my doctors away from patients who are clinging to life to deal with ones who are experimenting with anal pleasures and get a little carried away." She shoved him out the door. "If you would like, you can take it up with one of our lawyers, third floor. The elevators are over there." She pointed him in the direction of the lifts and hurried out the door before he had time to stop her.
"What took so long?" Wilson looked at her harried expression and wished he'd not said anything.
"Just get in the car and drive." She slammed her door and began plotting new and unusual ways to get House back for making her deal with yet another idiotic, irate patient.