I'll wait for you.
Those words spoken so calmly and smoothly created a havoc of emotions in Sousuke's heart. To hear Rin even say anything remotely along the lines would have been a privilege. Liquid words to soothe his wounds and heal his heart, fill it with the breath of a fiery angel.
Those were not the words he wanted to hear, however. Sousuke did not in any way shape or form want to drag Rin down with him. Rin needed to spend this time spreading his fresh clean and free feathers and gracefully dive into the depths of the great blue sky above him. Soar through the water and improve, it was a rough game. Slip up once and everyone starts to pass you.
Bit by bit the familiar faces of your team mates blur into a cloud of hazy forgetfulness. You're forgotten, surpassed, and immediately no longer an object of admiration. With change comes greatness or heart ache, and Sousuke truly wished Rin would see the brilliant shades the world had yet to show him. So many doors had opened for him and the world was his for the taking should he simply take that giant leap forward.
Sousuke would give the world to Rin on a golden platter if he was able to, calm his heart by telling him everything would be ok, but he would be lying, some things would never be the same. With the relinquishment of his dream came avid denial from Rin.
It could heal, you never know.
Sousuke could only laugh bitterly. That was impossible, he had accepted it. What made the acceptance hard for him was the fact that Rin had not yet taken that step into reality with him.
Yes it was painful, having your dream ripped away from you when you've invested so much, it is the ultimate sucker punch. Yes it was painful to have to break the promises they made when they were still fresh faced and very young. Yes he wanted to stand right at Rin's side the entire way and accomplish the dream that they had sent out to accomplish together.
Some things just were not made to happen.
Sousuke desperately wished Rin would reach that conclusion.
The pitiful sad eyes his best friend gave him was so much different than the fiery molten passionate gaze he had… fell in love with so deeply. Sousuke was in pain, his heart clenching with sorrow, regret, love, admiration, and respect for the boy he had grown up with. The boy that had grown into an adult right from under his feet.
Sousuke felt like he was living with phantoms of the past. Immersed in a past riddled with regret.
There are so many things he had wished he had done.
For example he wished he had kissed Rin much sooner than the haphazard barely there kiss they shared after Sousuke and Rin learned each other's bodies from the inside out for the first time. It was a small kiss in the midst of post orgasmic haze that he sometimes wonders if Rin even remembers. Yes the small contact sent sparks rushing through his veins, and lit his cheeks with a slight flush, but he wished it had been so much more.
He wished he would have confessed his love and affection before they wildly began to rip each other's clothes off and suffocate themselves with the others presence. Yes it had been so special. But all the scars and wounds felt open and raw, like they had not been fully healed yet.
After their wild night they blatantly ignored the subject and moved on with their lives. Yes they were close, yes they were best friends, but god damn Sousuke was so tired of holding on to that title. Sousuke craved Rin like a drug, he wanted to be the most special person in his life, not some awkward fling that had escalated into a very heated release of tension that had culminated over the years. Sousuke meant it when he had claimed Rin to himself.
Rin's eyes that had once been bright with the shared dream they had, had morphed into sad depths also immersed in the phantoms of the past.
"Rin." Sousuke says simply, glancing into Rin's dull red orbs cloudy with tears that threatened to caress his pale cheek. "Don't." Sousuke wanted to yell in frustration. We both know it's not going to happen.
As if reading his mind Rin lunged forward his fingers clenching the Samezuka jacket his best friend wore as if Sousuke would somehow disappear beneath his fingers.
"Sousuke it's what I've decided I want to do!" Rin glanced up and a small tear trickled down his cheek. "You're going to say that you don't want to hold me back, I know it, and Sousuke I know you too well! But with you right there cheering me on, being able to hold some hope is what keeps my head high! Your dream was crushed right before your eyes, how am I supposed to feel?!" Rin's voice cracked slightly.
Sousuke pulled Rin closer to him. And their lips connected.
Rin's eyes widened before slowly slipping shut. Their lives had quickly and rapidly transformed into a mosaic of various obstacles. Some they overcame, and others simply could not be overcome.
Tears now freely poured down the red head's cheeks that had flushed a sweet rosy color. Their lips danced together, discovering and by no means was it a soft kiss. Their lips moved roughly against each other, Rin slipped Sousuke's bottom lip into his mouth and bit into the soft flesh. It was rough, their teeth clicked together and before long they were battling for dominance as their tongues glided against each other eagerly. Rin almost forgot to breathe and pulled away his cheeks almost as bright as his hair.
"What was…" Before he was able to finish his sentence, Sousuke interrupted him.
"I love you." Sousuke's eyes were watery and his face held a look of determination and fire that made Rin's knees go weak and his heart beat rapidly against his chest. The tears that had ceased out of shock from the kiss returned full force. The red head's knees buckled and he slipped to the floor.
"Rin this is everything that I am, I'm giving up swimming, but I would never give up you! I don't want you chasing that part of our dream anymore. This is your dream. And I want to stand beside you and support you from the sidelines since I can no longer be a player on the board next to you…" Sousuke's breath hitched in his throat softly his face heating up, there was no going back anymore. They couldn't run away anymore. "I love you."
"I know." Rin whispered softly. "I've always known..." Sousuke bent down and pulled Rin into his arms, his tears soaking the shoulder of his jacket.
"Me too." Rin whispered his voice muffled by the jacket.
Sousuke's heart about exploded with joy, the boys spent the rest of their college life together. Rin entered international tournaments while Sousuke focused on his studies. Though their friendship was filled with hardships they still managed to overcome them, and finally were able to see past the phantoms of their past…