A/N: I TOLD you to wait five minutes.
Chapter 2
"This was NOT MY IDEA!" the scorched and dripping mud monster screeched, floundering onto the shore.
The Duck Man stared at it. "Oh my," he said faintly.
The monster pointed a quavering tentacle at his head. "What are you looking at?" it howled.
The Duck Man continued to stare at it, abashed. "What?" he said.
The mud monster glowered at him. "I wasn't talking to YOU," it growled, and slouched off.
"The RIVER blew up, sir?" Cheri gaped, nearly dropping the beaker in her hand. "That... that... it's made of water! Impossible! Water isn't flammable! It, it, it, it, it, it..."
The officers in the room watched her for awhile.
"Could someone take her somewhere nice and padded?" Vimes said after a while. "It appears as though her world as just fallen down around her shoulders."
"Dat's one small woild," Detritus commented, leading the still stuttering dwarf away.
"That was odd."
"I told 'em I told 'em I told 'em, buggrem, millenium hand and shrimp..."
"I don't see why you're so worked up, dear," Sybil said from the other room.
Sir Samuel Vimes surfaced like an alligator. "The river blew up, Sybil," he said, bubbles invading the formerly peaceful bathwater.
"But didn't you say that something big and fiery fell into it before it blew?"
Vimes thought for a moment. "Fell" was the wrong word. Threw? Tossed? Ah yes... shot. "I suppose so," he said after a while. "But water doesn't explode very well, does it?"
"Water, no," his wife said, coming into the bathroom to hang up some extra towels. "The Ankh, maybe." She smiled at him and sat down on the side of the bath tub. "I understand you've had a trying day, dear, what with the boarding school incident and then the river blowing up. You really should try to get some rest."
Vimes sunk underneath the water. He was starting to get a headache.
Someone knocked hesitantly at the main door of the inn. A wo- a person in a black lace dress and high heels tottered up to the door and opened it a crack. "Hyes?" it said in an impossibly high voice. "Hmay Ai ask hyour- BLOODY 'ELL!" it added, in a much lower tone.
The mud creature stuck a foot in the doorway before the person could slam it closed. "I know you remember me, Louisa," said the monster, the words quite muffled. "Could I please come in? And maybe have a bath? I got shot into... I fell into the Ankh."
The door opened as wide as it could go. "Oh, hyou POOR DEAR!" Louisa screeched, her eyes wide. "How long have hyou been in Ankh-Morpork? Hyou should 'ave sent hus ay clacks has soon has hyou harrived!"
"Not very long," the mud-thing grimaced, wiping its feet on the mat and stepping inside. "I'd say about five minutes."
The faded sign over the door bounced when it closed, the barely distinguishable blue cat grinning at the wind.
_________
To Be Continued!
Chapter 2
"This was NOT MY IDEA!" the scorched and dripping mud monster screeched, floundering onto the shore.
The Duck Man stared at it. "Oh my," he said faintly.
The monster pointed a quavering tentacle at his head. "What are you looking at?" it howled.
The Duck Man continued to stare at it, abashed. "What?" he said.
The mud monster glowered at him. "I wasn't talking to YOU," it growled, and slouched off.
"The RIVER blew up, sir?" Cheri gaped, nearly dropping the beaker in her hand. "That... that... it's made of water! Impossible! Water isn't flammable! It, it, it, it, it, it..."
The officers in the room watched her for awhile.
"Could someone take her somewhere nice and padded?" Vimes said after a while. "It appears as though her world as just fallen down around her shoulders."
"Dat's one small woild," Detritus commented, leading the still stuttering dwarf away.
"That was odd."
"I told 'em I told 'em I told 'em, buggrem, millenium hand and shrimp..."
"I don't see why you're so worked up, dear," Sybil said from the other room.
Sir Samuel Vimes surfaced like an alligator. "The river blew up, Sybil," he said, bubbles invading the formerly peaceful bathwater.
"But didn't you say that something big and fiery fell into it before it blew?"
Vimes thought for a moment. "Fell" was the wrong word. Threw? Tossed? Ah yes... shot. "I suppose so," he said after a while. "But water doesn't explode very well, does it?"
"Water, no," his wife said, coming into the bathroom to hang up some extra towels. "The Ankh, maybe." She smiled at him and sat down on the side of the bath tub. "I understand you've had a trying day, dear, what with the boarding school incident and then the river blowing up. You really should try to get some rest."
Vimes sunk underneath the water. He was starting to get a headache.
Someone knocked hesitantly at the main door of the inn. A wo- a person in a black lace dress and high heels tottered up to the door and opened it a crack. "Hyes?" it said in an impossibly high voice. "Hmay Ai ask hyour- BLOODY 'ELL!" it added, in a much lower tone.
The mud creature stuck a foot in the doorway before the person could slam it closed. "I know you remember me, Louisa," said the monster, the words quite muffled. "Could I please come in? And maybe have a bath? I got shot into... I fell into the Ankh."
The door opened as wide as it could go. "Oh, hyou POOR DEAR!" Louisa screeched, her eyes wide. "How long have hyou been in Ankh-Morpork? Hyou should 'ave sent hus ay clacks has soon has hyou harrived!"
"Not very long," the mud-thing grimaced, wiping its feet on the mat and stepping inside. "I'd say about five minutes."
The faded sign over the door bounced when it closed, the barely distinguishable blue cat grinning at the wind.
_________
To Be Continued!