0-0-0-0-0
It was a relatively quiet morning after the incident with the warning message.
Dipper and Mabel helped Soos to open up the Mystery Shack for business, and Wendy arrived shortly after on her bike. The rumble of thunder above and the gray clouds pregnant with condensation promised of rain, and the air was practically crackling with energy. Dipper tried to ignore the way that she whipped her head to toss her red hair gracefully as she removed her helmet, sweat beading on his forehead. She even pulled his old pine tree cap out from her backpack and nestled it atop her head, and Dipper got a strange feeling in his stomach from watching her.
"... You just gonna stand there, dude?" she asked him at last, and Dipper flushed, realizing that he'd been standing directly in front of the doorway.
"Of-of course not!" he laughed nervously, holding the door open for Wendy. "Sorry, sorry, I-I was just thinking is all."
"Yeah, I try not to do that too much anymore," she shrugged and pulled him into a loose hug, and Dipper let out an awkward chuckle. "Man, it's just so cool to have you guys back."
Thankfully, Soos arrived to break the tension, adjusting his hat as he entered the gift shop.
"What's up, dudes?" he gave a toothy grin to them as Wendy took her place behind the register, absentmindedly rifling through a copy of 'Pretending To Be Nonchalant; For Teens' and giving Soos a half wave.
"I wondered where you went to, Soos," Dipper said with a hint of relief that the tension was broken. Besides, what exactly was he supposed to even tell her?
"Hey, somebody had to fix that window," Soos readjusted his cap with a determined stare. "And if there's one guy that's made for fixin' stuff, it's, uh... me. Dude, that sounded so much better in my head."
"What happened to the window?" Wendy asked distractedly.
"Somebody threw a rock with a warning to leave Gravity Falls," Dipper explained quickly. Wendy suddenly froze in her seat, her expression going completely blank. The next moment the look was gone, and Dipper confusedly held onto that memory.
"Can't imagine why they didn't just knock," Soos began sweeping up the gift shop, switching around the open sign.
"I've been thinking..." Dipper started, pacing in a small circle.
"About love, death and the meaning of life?" Soos blinked. "Because, dude, I think about that kind of thing all the time. I'm pretty sure that the answer is, like, definitely a number."
"No, no," he shook his head. "I mean, who would want us out of Gravity Falls? I mean, they broke our window; it could have been any other window in this place, and they chose our room. Plus, I could have sworn that there was somebody watching us when we got off the bus yesterday."
Wendy made a humming noise, her hand over her mouth.
"Dude," she started slowly. "Don't take this the wrong way, but... maybe you're being a little... paranoid?"
Dipper suddenly felt like the bottom had dropped out of his stomach.
"What?" he balked at her. "Wendy, someone chucked a rock through the window with a threat attached!"
"A threat, or a warning?"
"W-well," Dipper faltered, frowning. "I mean, technically there was no threat-"
"So maybe it was just some cranky gnomes or something," she shrugged again. "Those little guys are a total pain in the keister."
"You've been having problems with the gnomes too?" Soos blinked. "Because, dude, I'm pretty sure those guys have been stealing underwear from me. Not a hundred percent on that one, but I have my suspicions."
"Gross," Dipper let out an uneasy laugh. Still, he couldn't quite shake the feeling that Wendy was hiding something from him, and it bothered him. They'd kept in touch through texting and phone calls the whole year that they had been gone, and nothing had seemed out of place. So why was his gut fighting against him now, of all times? Wendy wasn't the type of person that would lie to him.
"... Dude?"
"Huh?" Dipper looked up.
"You okay there?" Wendy peered over her open magazine, which Dipper only then realized was upside down. "You kinda look like a constipated camel."
"I'm, uh..." he jabbed a finger over his shoulder. "I'm just gonna go check on Mabel real quick. She hasn't been feeling too hot lately."
"Oh, dude, that sucks," Wendy called after him. "Tell her I said to get better!"
Dipper meandered up the stairs slowly, his mind heavy. He could feel it prickling the back of his mind, but refused to acknowledge it. Wendy probably just had something else on her mind was all. But the face that she had made when he mentioned the note deeply bothered him, and he couldn't quite shake it away. Instead he distracted himself by checking on Mabel, who was busy decorating the room to the best of her abilities.
So far, she had added seventeen glittering cut out butterflies to her side of the room, a paper chain in a myriad of colors, six pictures of everyone together taped to the walls, and a single solitary blue balloon floating haphazardly around the room.
"Holy crap, Mabel!" Dipper stared at the progress she had made in such a short amount of time. "How-how did you get all this done in the time it took me to walk downstairs?"
"Never underestimate the power of a superior decoration expert," Mabel fluffed her sweatshirt expertly, letting the bunny rabbit on the front hop with her motions. "Are you sure you don't want me to do your side, too?"
"I'm pretty certain," he deadpanned, pulling out his journal from within the confines of his vest. "So, I've been thinking-"
"Careful not to let your head catch fire from that bro bro," Mabel winked at him.
"So I've been thinking," he pretended no to hear her. "Trying to figure out who threw that rock. I dusted for fingerprints, and got nowhere. I'm guessing from where it landed," he moved to the new window and pointed downward. "That from the trajectory of where it broke the window it must have come from somewhere near those bushes. It definitely wasn't thrown very hard, but hard enough to break the window. I think if we scan the area we might be able to find a clue as to who the culprit might be."
"Are you still on about that?" Mabel stared at him. "I'm telling you, it's either gnomes or alien cultists. Case closed. Pass me the glitter so I can start on your side."
"Mabel!" Dipper snapped the journal shut with irritation. "This is serious! Somebody clearly wants us out of Gravity Falls for some unknown reason-"
"Bro," Mabel hopped down from her bed, placing her hands firmly on his shoulders. "Broseph. I'm kidding. Let's go solve a mystery already!"
It took them hardly any time at all to reach the large bushes where Dipper theorized the rock thrower might have hidden in. They started with sequentially smaller circles around the bush until Mabel finally called him over excitedly, pointing.
"Bro! Check it out!"
"What? What is it?" he hurried over, hopeful for any sort of clue.
"Footprints. Do you think that whoever threw that rock left 'em?"
"Possibly," Dipper grinned at the prospect of finding out who it might have been. He carefully inspected the single footprint as he knelt down beside Mabel, frowning. It was a little smudged from where they had probably turned and ran, and he just barely make out the backwards imprint of the brand in the middle.
"... What?" Mabel asked. "You've got that weird 'thinking things' look on your face again."
"These are really small footprints..." Dipper mused aloud.
"Ah-HA!" Mabel shrieked, throwing her hands up in the air. "Gnomes! I called it!"
"No, no," Dipper shook his head, drawing her closer. "Look. This footprint is way too big for a gnome. It looks more like a kid's size shoe."
"Or just a woman with small feet," Mabel shrugged.
"I'm sticking with my first hypothesis," Dipper deadpanned, and Mabel blew a raspberry.
"It's totally a woman's shoe print!" she insisted, pointing at the footprint. "Look at the imprint of this sucker; that's a woman's tennis shoe, I'll bet my hat on it."
"You don't wear a hat," Dipper rolled his eyes. No sooner had he said it than Mabel swiped the dog eared hat from his head, slapping it onto her own with a goofy grin.
"Mabel!" he yanked it back and jammed it over his ears.
"I'm telling you, broseidon," Mabel shifted into serious mode for a moment. "Gauging from the size of the footprint and the location of the stone, we're looking for a young woman without much upper body strength."
"Wow, that's..." Dipper stared at her for a beat. "That's oddly insightful, Mabel."
"Oh, jeez," she clapped a hand to her forehead. "Great, now I'm even starting to sound like you. See how much of a bad influence you are on me?"
"So, we have no suspects, no motive, and nothing more than a footprint..." Dipper mused, scratching his chin. He pulled out his pen and began sketching the footprint into his journal, including the backwards imprint of the brand. Thunder rumbled ahead, reminding him that time was short, and thankfully he finished most of his sketch by the time rain began to pitter and patter down around them.
"Okay, so..." Mabel squeezed the water from her long brown hair as they took shelter beneath the porch, flopping onto the old patchy torn up sofa. "We've got practically nothing to go on and any more footprints that might have been there just got washed away. Any ideas?"
"I've got a few," Dipper chewed the pen in the corner of his mouth. It cracked almost instantly, spraying him in the face with ink, and he scowled before tossing it away and trying to rub the ink from his face with the bottom of his shirt. "Anyway, I think the best place to start would be Gravity Falls's shoe store; maybe we can find one of these brands that matches the shoe print."
"Sounds like as good a place to start as any!" Mabel hopped off the couch, sprinting inside full speed. "HEY GRUNKLE STAN, CAN YOU DRIVE US TO TOWN SO WE CAN SOLVE A MYSTERY?!"
"Tactful as always, Mabel," Dipper shook his head slowly, following her inside.
Much to his surprise, Wendy was staring directly at him the moment that he entered, and quickly returned to her reading. He felt an odd sensation in the pit of his stomach when she looked at him, but he fought it off.
For now, they had a mystery to solve.
0-0-0-0-0
The drive into town was a short one, as Grunkle Stan didn't believe in things like 'slowing down in the rain' or 'speed limits'. They drove around for a short while, peering through the rain, but Grunkle Stan finally brought them to a stop in front of Gravity Falls's only shoe store, just off of the main street beside a little place called Cory's Comics.
"You kids know the drill, right?" Grunkle Stan looked to them both before they left the car. "In and out, no theatrics; and the second that things get weird, you come get me. Got it?"
"Got it," they both nodded in unison from the back seat.
"Just... be careful?" he added just before they exited.
"Grunkle Stan," Mabel said seriously. "I have been studying karate for the last four years. I'm pretty sure we won't need help, but if we do, Dipper will scream like a little girl."
"Oh, ha ha," Dipper scoffed as they approached the awning to the shoe store. "Are you ready for this, Mabel?"
"Dip, I was born ready."
They entered the shoe store with a little ding! of a bell above them, and a bored balding sales clerk behind a counter greeted them.
"Hi!" Mabel waved to him. "We're looking for a suspicious looking woman-"
"Mabel!" he clamped a hand over her mouth, whispering in a hushed tone. "We can't just go saying that!"
"Oh," she nodded. "Right. Let me try again.
Mabel cleared her throat, approaching the counter.
"Hi!" she said again. "We're looking for a specific type of shoe. That might have been worn by a suspicious looking woman."
"We have those," the balding man said in a thick accent. "You want shoe, we have shoe. You have foot, we have shoe. No foot, no shoe for you."
"Uh... o-okay," Dipper said awkwardly, opening up the journal to show the balding man. "We're actually looking for something that matches this."
The clerk only stared at him for a moment.
"Why do you want a triangle shaped shoe?"
"Sorry, sorry!" Dipper flipped from his entry on Bill Cipher as quickly as he could, showing the clerk again. "THIS is what we're looking for."
"Ahhh," the clerk nodded once. "You want El-Garbagio shoe. Is very distinct."
"Maybe it means something else in a different language?" Mabel shrugged to Dipper.
"It means garbage shoe," the balding man deadpanned. "Very cheap, is very easy to reproduce. Lots of plastic, not built to last. You want, I sell."
"Uh, no, we're good actually," Dipper was busy writing furiously in his journal.
"Is shame," the clerk shook his head sadly. "Practically nobody wants to buy shoe."
"So, is there someone who did want to buy that particular brand of shoe?" Mabel asked eagerly, standing on her tiptoes to see over the counter.
"Hmm," he scratched the bald spot on his head. "Do not remember very clearly. Perhaps I could be... persuaded to remember who bought shoe."
Mabel didn't even blink.
The clerk stared at what she dropped onto the counter, which turned out to be six gummy koalas with the head of one bitten off, a piece of string, and parts of a leaf.
"I'm packin', sucka," Mabel struck what she hoped was an awesome pose.
"... Oh," the man shook his head after a moment. "I get it. Is joke."
"So why didn't you laugh?"
"Because was not funny joke."
"Look," Dipper interjected, feeling as if things got any stranger he was going to begin losing his mind. "This is really important that we find the woman who bought this particular brand of shoe. We don't have any money, but-"
"Then we have nothing more to discuss about her," the clerk pushed the assorted items back to Mabel, who jammed them all in her pocket. "Best of luck finding that triangle tattooed crazy b-"
He clammed up almost immediately, as if having realized a little too late how much he'd let slip.
"... Thanks anyway," Dipper pulled his aggravated sister out of the store. "Catch you later."
"Thank for shopping shoe smart, and have nice day," the man said in flat broken english.
"Man!" Mabel stamped her foot against the ground, sending up water. "This stinks! What kind of maniac can't be bribed with gummy koalas?!"
"Mabel, focus," Dipper said determinedly. "Did you catch what he said?"
"You mean the almost swear word?"
"No, no, before that," he shook his head quickly, glancing over to Grunkle Stan, who was waving at them to hurry. "He said that she had tattoos."
"So?"
"So," Dipper said excitedly, writing in his journal once again. "This means that we just narrowed our search by a wide margin. How many women in Roadkill County could there be with visible tattoos and really cheap shoes?"
"Are we talking, like, out of a hundred?"
"Mabel," Dipper said slowly, going over his notes. "Gravity Falls has roughly three hundred residents. If we were to narrow that in half and assume that half of those people were women, we'd be down to one-fifty. And he said that she had triangle tattoos, which practically nobody that we've seen has. So, if we were to find the tattoo parlor..."
"We could find out who the mysterious perpetrator is!" Mabel finished excitedly racing to the car. "Onward, Jeeves; to the next destination!"
"Sweetie," Grunkle Stan said expressionlessly as they buckled up. "I love that you're back and all. But you've got to stop calling me your butler. I am nobody's butler."
"But butlers are super cool!" Mabel was bouncing in her seat. "Like the one from BatGuy!"
"Yeah, but isn't BatGuy's butler super crusty old?"
"Grunkle Stan, you are super crusty old."
"Meh. Fair enough."
Dipper only scribbled something down in his journal before tucking it safely away in his vest.
"We're narrowing down suspects of who could have sent us that letter," Dipper informed Grunkle Stan as they drove. "Our next stop is the tattoo parlor."
"Aren't you two a little young for that?" Grunkle Stan stared at him in the rear view mirror. "I mean, I'm all for it, but your mom would kill me-"
"No, silly billy!" Mabel poked the back of his head, tilting his red fez. "The woman who threw the rock apparently has tattoos; we're gonna find her and kick her butt! And slash or make friends with her, depending."
"Tattooed woman, huh?" Grunkle Stan turned a corner. "... Is she hot?"
"Oh my god," Dipper pinched the bridge of his nose. "One, we haven't even seen the suspect yet, and two, what does it even matter?"
"Hey!" Stan turned around in his seat to face him, nearly driving into oncoming traffic. "Never underestimate a pretty face. Some of them use you, some of them abuse you, and some of them spit blinding acid into your eyes and try to suck out your innards. Y'know. Girly stuff."
"Grunkle Stan, I appreciate the advice but please watch the road!"
"Wow," he said as he turned around in his seat, swerving to avoid going into the ditch. "Mabel was right, you do kinda scream like a girl."
Dipper felt his face go flush as Mabel and Stan laughed, and he grumbled as he buried himself in his journal once more.
They were close, he could feel it.
It was just a matter of tracking her down.
0-0-0-0-0
Dipper and Mabel went home disheartened.
Not only did the tattoo parlor have even fewer clues than they would have liked, they learned practically nothing from their venture. The owner of the place claimed to have never even seen a woman with triangle tattoos, and it was silent in the twins's room as Dipper wordlessly paced barefoot over the wooden floor, chewing on the end of a pen as he did so. The light rain drummed on the window and newly repaired roof, the only sound for a long while.
"Bro," Mabel muttered into her pillow loudly enough for him to hear. "Just go to sleep already."
"It's driving me crazy, Mabel," Dipper pulled at his hair in frustration. "Who could it have been? Who could possibly want us out of Gravity Falls?"
"Does it pertain to sleeping?" she picked her head up with one hand, staring at him blearily.
"Well, no, but-"
"Then goodnight," she flopped back onto the bed, and Dipper let out a growl of irritation. He found himself in front of the bulletin board covered in pictures that had stayed since last summer, except this time the pictures were rearranged with lines of red string going from photograph to photograph. Nothing seemed to make sense. Someone wanted them to leave Gravity Falls badly enough to send them a threat, but who could have disliked them enough to want them gone?
The picture of the town's current mayor, a biker named Tyler had a number of red strings trailing out from his pinned up picture, leading all over the map. Surely someone in his position had several allies that could have potentially wanted to remove them from the picture. None of Gideon's old gang that remained in Gravity Falls were women with tattoos, although several of the men did. Maybe one of them simply wore a wig?
On second inspection, he sincerely hoped not.
It was entirely possible that there was someone from the now disbanded cult of the Blind Eye who might have been trying to manipulate the twins out of the picture, but they had all had their memories of anything related to the cult erased last summer. Maybe one of them had slipped past? Then again, there hadn't been any women that Dipper noticed in that group, so perhaps not.
He paced around and around in circles, his mind abuzz with questions as he listened to the sound of the rain.
"Come on..." he muttered to himself as he opened up his journal, flipping through pages. "Who are you...?"
There was nothing that he had recorded about triangle tattoos, and the only thing even remotely related to triangles was not something that he wanted to dwell on. The less he thought of Bill, the happier he'd be.
But then again, what if the lost dream demon was somehow wrapped up in this?
Dipper shuddered visibly, shaking the thought away. No, Bill Cipher was gone for good, they'd made sure of that a year ago. As soon as he had taken over Grunkle Stan's mind and Ford hit him with the memory erasing ray, there hadn't been even a whisper of Bill.
But if he was somehow still exerting influence over their dimension...
Dipper shook his head again, resuming his pacing. That type of thinking would only prevent him from focusing on the task at hand, which currently, was figuring out who might have sent them the warning. Dipper stared at the pinned up pictures for what felt like forever, chewing his lower lip and going through mental acrobatics to determine who it might have been.
"... Bro."
Dipper jumped at the sound of Mabel's voice, and turned to see her sitting up in bed and scratching her head.
"What is it, Mabel?"
"It's, like, two in the morning," Mabel mumbled sleepily. "What are you even doing?"
"At this point?" he huffed, flopping down onto his own bed. "I don't even know anymore. Everything we had lead to a dead end. We aren't any closer to figuring out the culprit than when we started."
"So, maybe they'll throw another rock with their name attached," Mabel yawned.
Dipper sat straight up, grinning.
"... What?"
"Mabel, that's it!"
"Great!" she exclaimed before pausing. "... What's it?"
"We just need them to try scaring us off again..." he tapped his fingers together into a steeple. "Except this time, we're going to have a trap ready-"
"To snag 'em the next time they try something funny!" Mabel slammed her palms together. "Awesome!"
"Now, all we need-"
"Is to go to sleep," Mabel immediately crashed back onto her bed, curling up beneath the blankets. "I'm all for solving the mystery. Just, in the morning, bro."
Dipper grumbled and resumed pacing, a plan already coming together.
They would catch this mysterious woman, somehow. If they couldn't track her down, then they'd make her come to them. Somehow.
0-0-0-0-0
"Okay," Dipper paced back and forth in front of the collected crew of Mabel, Wendy and Soos. Grunkle Stan had 'excused' himself from the conversation by returning to the television, and Ford was busying himself with another of his endless projects in the basement. "Alright, everyone know the plan?"
"I think so, dude," Soos nodded once, broom still in his hands. "If somebody comes in, whack 'em with this here sweeper."
"Just the woman with the tattoos, Soos," Mabel patted his arm.
"Got it. Hit women with tattoos. Actually, on second thought, I'm not sure how comfortable I am with this plan," Soos tapped his fingers together awkwardly. "I'm a lover, not a fighter, dudes."
"I've got it, man," Wendy gave a half wave from behind the counter, her feet up on top of it. "Me and Soos will keep an eye out for any triangle tattooed chicks and I'll tackle 'em if I see any."
"You're awesome, Wendy!" Dipper beamed, earning a poke in the ribs from Mabel. "Ow! What?" he asked in a hushed tone, but she only rolled her eyes.
"We'll be back soon!" Mabel marched out the door and into the damp morning grass.
"Just make sure to subdue them until we can get back," Dipper poked his head back in through the gift shop door. "And that's even if they show up at all."
"Are you sure you don't want me to come with?" Wendy offered, and for a moment Dipper considered throwing his plan to the wind just to have her along. But, after a moment, he swallowed and shook his head with a slight frown.
"Mabel and I have got this. We'll be back pretty soon."
"If you're not we'll assume that a werebadger ate you," Soos called out in what he hoped was a helpful manner, earning a positively frigid glare from Wendy. "... What? What is it, dude? What did I say?"
Dipper had his backpack prepared and pulled tightly to him, his journal in his left hand as he closely followed Mabel into the woods surrounding the Shack.
"I swear, this had better work..." Mabel grumbled to him as they walked, the crunching of crisp wet leaves beneath them.
"I'm pretty sure that it will," Dipper nodded and rechecked his journal, brows furrowed. "He's got eyes all over the place, he's bound to have seen or heard something useful."
"I still don't like this plan," she frowned, leading him further and further into the grassy woods, casting her gaze up at the tall trees.
"I don't like it either," he answered curtly. "But it's the best plan we've got, unless Soos and Wendy actually catch this culprit."
They walked for what felt like hours, even though it couldn't have been longer than a few minutes. The chirping of the early morning birdsong seemed muffled through the woods, and they even saw a couple of squirrels carelessly chasing each other through the branches. Mabel insisted on stopping and cooing over them and taking pictures with her phone before continuing, earning a few choice grumbles from Dipper.
At long last they appeared in a small clearing in the woods, and Dipper let out a breath as he pulled the backpack from his shoulders and let it drop before rifling through the journal. There was a large, hollowed out log sitting before them, which Mabel took a seat on.
"... Whelp," he shrugged, looking once to Mabel. "Here goes nothing."
He drew in a long, deep breath, bracing himself.
"ATTENTION, GNOMES! WE COME BEARING GIFTS!"
It was absolutely silent for a few seconds. Even the birdsong seemed to have paused, and it was eerily quiet for several long, uncomfortable minutes. They had almost given up when they heard a rustling in one of the bushes nearby. Out of it pushed a small, bearded gnome with a pointed red hat, grinning from ear to ear.
"Oh no," said Mabel.
"Oh no," said Dipper.
"Oh yeah!" Jeff the gnome threw out his arms, his already wide grin growing even wider. "Well, well, well, if it isn't the Pines twins! What brings you to this neck of the woods, pretty one?"
"Gee, you flatter me," Dipper deadpanned.
"Ech, I was talking to your sister," Jeff rolled his eyes, hopping up onto the log to meet their eyes at the same time that Mabel jumped up, putting some distance between them. "You look taller since the last time I saw you!"
"You look about the same height," Mabel nodded.
"I'm a gnome," Jeff stated flatly. "We're all the same height. So what brings you out here, anyway? What fresh trouble have you kids brought this time?"
Dipper scowled, pulling his hat down and glaring at the gnome.
"Hey, we don't bring trouble with us, it just sort of finds us!" Mabel interjected.
"Same difference," Jeff shrugged carelessly. "Multi headed bears, earthquakes, the apocalypse, you name it and you kids have been there. You're just bad news. No offense," he held up his palms towards Mabel. "But, seriously, you're lucky I even answered at all."
"Listen," Dipper crossed his arms. "We need a favor."
"Well, golly gee!" Jeff did a little mocking jig, false smile plastered onto his face. "Why didn't you just say so! By George, let me just see what I can do oh wait it's absolutely nothing."
"This is important," Dipper stressed as the gnome turned away, ready to hop off the log. "We're looking for someone who might want us out of Gravity Falls."
"I can relate," Jeff deadpanned.
"Please?" Mabel gave him her best puppy dog look, pouting. "It would really mean a lot to us..."
"No," he answered immediately.
"Come on," Dipper pleaded, fighting off the desperation. "What do you want? We'll trade you something for information."
Jeff hmm'd for a moment, pretending to think with his chin in his hands.
"What do I want, what do I want..." he mused aloud. "Here's something; leave."
"You don't have to be such a jerkface!" Mabel blew a raspberry as he pushed open the bushes he had arrived from. "We really needed your help!"
"Come on, Mabel," Dipper hauled the backpack up and pulled her away with one arm. "Obviously Jeff has better things to do than help other people. Let's just go back to the Shack and check up on Wendy and Soos."
"... Fine," her head hung dejectedly. "At least then we can crack open that fresh jar of peanut butter and-"
"Whoa, hold the phone!" Jeff came barreling back out of the bushes, practically jumping on the spot. "Did-did you guys say that you have peanut butter?"
Mabel and Dipper shared a look for a brief moment, each thinking the same thing reflected in their grins.
"As a matter of fact," Dipper opened up his backpack and pulled out a large jar of brand name peanut butter, noting the fact that Jeff was practically drooling by this point. "We've got a lot of peanut butter. The good stuff, too. We were planning on saving this, but if we were to get some information..."
"... You drive a hard bargain," Jeff hopped up onto the log in a single bound, holding out his hands greedily. "Peanut butter for information. Peanut butter first."
"Not even gonna say please?" Mabel scoffed, but Jeff had already buried his face in the jar, an assortment of unpleasant noises emanating from it.
"So..." Dipper said awkwardly as Jeff pulled his head from within the now empty peanut butter jar, coated in the brown substance. "We're looking for a young woman, probably wearing really cheap shoes."
"Have you tried the shoe store?" Jeff asked, licking the peanut butter from his fingers. "Humans tend to go there pretty frequently for shoes."
"She's also probably got some weird tattoos," Mabel added.
"Lots of humans have weird tattoos!" he laughed, pulling some peanut butter from his hair and eating it.
"Triangle tattoos."
All of the color instantly drained from Jeff's face.
Mabel and Dipper glanced to each other for a moment, unsure of how to proceed.
"Whelp," Jeff hopped off the hollowed out log, clapping his hands together. "That's my cue to leave hrrk!"
He was hoisted up by the back of his shirt by Dipper, who was scowling in frustration.
"Look," Dipper frowned hard. "We gave you the peanut butter. Now we need answers. Spill."
"Alright, alright!" he pulled himself from Dipper's grip. "Yeesh, humans. Always so cranky. Why do you even wanna find that crazy girl, anyways?"
"We think she's trying to scare us out of Gravity Falls," Mabel stuck her hands in her pockets.
"What makes you say that she's crazy?" Dipper pried.
"Kept talking to herself," Jeff distractedly pulled more peanut butter off of his person to eat it. "Not in the normal kind of way, either. Like, carrying on full discussions with thin air."
"Pffft, I do that all the time," Mabel rolled her eyes.
"What else?" Dipper insisted, drawing closer. "What else do you know? Who is she? What's her name? Why does she want us out of Gravity Falls?"
"Hey, I don't know, man," Jeff held up his palms defensively. "I just know from a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy who knows a gnome who knows a guy who-"
"Just get to the point!" Dipper snapped, feeling his patience begin to crack.
"Alright, alright!" Jeff backed away wearily. "I just know that she sneaks through the woods every so often. Sometimes so well that not even my own gnomes can track her."
"Where does she go?" he demanded as Jeff tried to leave once again.
"Beats me," he shrugged. "The last time anyone saw her, she was wandering over near this weird hollow tree."
Dipper clapped a hand to his head, letting out a groan.
"Great," he moaned aloud. "A hollow tree. Like there aren't hundreds of those."
"Maybe this will help, then," Jeff said just as he departed for good. "This hollow tree? It also happens to be made of metal. Adios, kids. And don't call me again unless you've got more peanut butter."
The twins stood in stunned silence for a few moments.
There was only one hollow metal tree that either of them knew of, and neither of them ever wanted to bring it up again.
The tattooed woman was hiding in the den of the shapeshifter.
0-0-0-0-0
A/N
The plot thickens!
More chapters on the way, I'd love to know how I'm doing! ^-^