Thanks everyone for reading. It has been many years since I've actually written a story. I have written many papers that were straight to the point and it is hard to break that style of writing.
I am rather nervous to talk with Christian today. We took the day off to talk about our future family plans. I am trying to keep my mind open and think of everything I can do if Christian decides to wait to have a baby. I also want to talk to him about my career.
Working in publishing has been a dream come true, but after a year and a half, I am not truly happy with being an editor. Yes, I love it, to an extent but it was not at all like I expected. A part of me misses working with people like I did at Clayton. I know I need to work with books. Hopefully Christian will understand and find a more suitable person for Grey Publishing. I never wanted to be in charge of a publishing company, let alone own it, if Christian wants to own it he can deal with it. Also with all that has happened with Hyde, I've not felt safe even with the added security. A different career would be best for me, Dr. Butler suggested it a while back so I started doing research.
"Ana, are you ready for breakfast?" Christian came into the bedroom to ask me as I was getting dressed. Since we are staying home and going to Dr. Greene's office there is no need for me to put on a lot of make-up.
"Yep, just let me get some mascara on and I'll be ready." I respond swiping the wand against my lashes. "Ok, I'm ready." I turn around and see Christian in a tight t-shirt and jeans that hang perfectly on his hips. He is wearing that because he knows how tempted I am to jump him so hopefully this is a good sign.
"So…." I begin once Gail leaves us.
"So, what?" He responds with a slight grin while taking a bite of a piece of bacon.
"It's been a year, Christian. Have you made a decision yet?" I am so hopeful and apprehensive and he knows it.
"So it has been. What a year though." Christian is doing this on purpose, talking slowly and now he is trying to go off course.
"And what have you decided. Come on don't drag this out."
"Fine, we will discuss family planning with Dr. Green today if you are up to it or we can wait another year."
"Oh, my gosh! Really? Seriously?" Oh, he cannot be serious. This seemed too easy, this is so exciting. I leap up from my seat making my way around the table to plant kisses all around Christians face. "This is so wonderful, I cannot wait to get to Dr. Greene and discuss everything with her."
The huge grin on Christians face makes him even more handsome than before especially now that he is open to giving me the dream to become a mother. He is going to make such a great father, I just know it. Over the last year, Christian has been discussing is insecurities of fatherhood with the good Dr. Flynn. It took quite a while before he opened up to me about it, in fact it was on our wedding anniversary.
"I would say lets get started now, but I am sure you don't want Dr. Greene to see the soldiers on their move." He said kissing me back with a laugh.
My blush is quite evident. For some reason, I still blush horrible when he makes such crude comments. "Christian! Really, must you talk like that. We can spend the whole weekend in bed after today." After we calm down a bit my mind wanders back to work. Even though I know Christian will be supportive of my choice, as he always is, I am still nervous. "I want to quit Grey Publishing." I say quickly.
His look is a bit of shock and happiness. "Why would you want to do that, Ana? I thought you loved working as an editor."
"Well…well after what happened last year I haven't really been comfortable working there." His grip tightens on my thigh as he holds me in his lap.
"Why didn't you tell me sooner?"
"I talked it through with Dr. Butler, and thought that once everything died down my anxiety would too. In a way, it has, though I keep looking over my shoulder thinking people are talking about me or there is someone else from the wood work to come out from hiding."
"Ok, that is fine, quit. You can do anything you want. I'm sure mother would love your help with Coping Together and other charity functions."
"Well, I was hoping to possibly get my master's degree in library science. UW has one of the top programs in the country number 3 to be exact and a lot of it is online. This will allow me to be home with our baby while I stay busy. Dr. Butler had me look into other career options and the only other thing that made sense to me was librarian. I've looked into the degree and could be done in about 18 months. "
"What are you going to do once you're done with school?"
"Hmm.. I haven't thought about that yet. Maybe look into working for King County Library System, or even a special collection." This is something I need to figure out, but I have time to decide. I also want to go over the specializations again to determine how that will play into my new career goals.
"When we get home we can go through degree requirements together if you would like. Do you know how often you would have to be on campus?"
Wow this is going better than I thought it would. One thing I love about Christian is how supportive he is with me. "Um… I'm not sure, it might depend on the class. Would it be an issue for me to attend class on campus? It's only like 15 minutes away on a good traffic day."
"I would have to talk to Taylor about security factors, you know this." He says calmly. At least he isn't shutting the idea down completely. He has changed so much in the last year. I'm sure he would have told me there was no way in hell I would be attending class on campus last year.
There are threats against us every day and since the whole Hyde incident everything has been different. All the current threats pertain to the businesses and rarely about us. Taylor has been handling threats differently and has a whole team devoted to debunking them in case we need added security. The paparazzi have also become board of us which helps keep the threats down. I have gotten Christian to loosen up and act like an average Joe rather than his preferred posh self. People still recognize us but no one is fainting at our feet since we are not celebrities.
What really helped was meeting with the Gates. Even though they are richer than Christian and I, they have had to deal with some of the struggles we have. Bill and Melinda have helped with how to handle the spotlight and use it to their advantage, but to live life normally day to day. Hell, they've raised three great children during the big rivalry with Apple. When their youngest was born the only thing, you heard about on the news was just that and nothing more. They had no crazy photographers dying to get the first picture of the new Eventually once the hype of the new power couple faded so would our celebrity in Seattle. Fine by me. There are still some photos that appear on blogs of us and it is nothing like it was when we first got together. It seems as though the media has accepted the fact that Christian was never public about his relationships before me.
"Shall we get ready to go?" Christian asked bringing me back to the present.
"Yep," I say popping the 'p' with a huge grin on my face and give Christian a kiss on the cheek before getting up. "I just need to grab my shoes, coat and purse."
Arriving at Dr. Greene's office on time we are taken to one of the exam rooms. The nurse takes my weight, blood pressure, and oxygen level. Then as normal we have to wait at least thirty minutes before Dr. Greene comes in. I think it is insane that my appointment is at eleven fifteen and I'm not seen until eleven forty-five. Christian on the other hand voices his annoyance. At least we aren't in the waiting room still.
I had already changed into the paper gown and sitting on the exam table while Christian sits in a chair behind me against the wall. After a few grumbles he decided to pass the time by answering a few emails. I was reading about the UW iSchool. Hopefully I can start in the Spring. The question that I need to figure out is when do I leave Grey Publishing and what do I do in that time of unemployment? Maybe once I fill out the application Christian and I can discuss it. What are the changes of not getting into grad school? Seriously, I hate to think this let alone say it but who would deny the Grey name attached to Christian Grey?
With a light knock to the door, Dr. Greene enters the small room with the nurse from before. "Good morning Mrs. Grey, Mr. Grey. Jessica is here to assist in the pap smear. Since we didn't do one last year, and with the miscarriage I want to make sure everything is normal. Can you lay down and put your feet in the stirrups? How are you doing today Ana?"
"I'm good." I always find the doctor patient relationship weird, what do I say, how much should I say? This is a person I see once a year.
She sits on her stool and rolls between my open legs. "Ok just scoot down a little more. Perfect. This may fill a little uncomfortable." I have no clue what she is doing. I feel the instrument go in me. After a few minutes, it's taken out. "Everything looks normal. You can put your legs down now." Dr. Green replaces her gloves and starts to fill my abdomen and then each breast. I'm sure Christian is watching her every move, it is amazing how quiet he is being. "How is your birth control going?"
"It seems fine, I didn't get pregnant this time." I kind of sound snide with the comment, it's true I didn't get pregnant on the pills.
If she was offended by my accidental tone I couldn't tell. "Have they been any trouble for you, any abnormal bleeding, cramping, constipation?"
I shake my head no. "No, everything seemed normal."
"Alright, I'll write you a prescription for another year."
"Actually, Christian and I want to discuss starting a family." I say a bit apprehensive. Why is Christian letting me control my appointment. Flynn must have worked numbers on him. I look back to him and he just gives me a nod.
"We will first do a urine test to be sure you aren't pregnant now. Do you want me to write a prescription for pre-natal vitamins or do you want to buy them at the store?"
"A prescription is fine." Christian finally says something.
"Do either of you have questions or concerns?"
"How does it happen?" I am given a weird look like I don't know how babies are born. "I just stop the birth control and that's it?"
"Basically yes. You are healthy, and young. Start taking the prenatal vitamins and everything should be fine. The vitamins help to prevent birth defects and it is normally recommended for women to take them at least three months before they start trying to get pregnant. There is nothing to worry about if you get pregnant tomorrow, a lot of women who do not plan pregnancy won't start taking them until they find out or get an appointment with a doctor to be sure."
"How long does it take?" Christian asks. I am now wondering if I actually should have done research or not. People have sex and they have babies. That what happens right?
"Oh, it varies from person to person. Some couples conceive right after getting off birth control and for some it takes a year. The chemicals in birth control can affect everyone differently, they are strong chemicals and can take a while to leave your body. If nothing happens for a year we will start testing for any abnormalities. Don't be upset if you don't get pregnant this month or next month, be patient and don't stress too much about it. There is only a 20% chance of pregnancy each month. I would recommend getting some literature like What to Expect Before You're Expecting. It can answer a lot questions you did not know you had. But you are always more than welcome to call the office or email me your questions. Is there anything else?"
"No, I don't think so," I say. Is there anything else I should ask, seriously how hard is this baby making stuff, it happened before so it shouldn't be that hard.
"I'll leave you to get dressed. When you are ready you can head out the receptionist will have your prescription ready for you. Good luck!" Dr. Greene gives us a smile as she leaves the room.
Well this is it we are officially trying for Baby Grey.