Here we go again !
Disclaimer : I DO NOT own OUAT or any of its characters.
Round two, hope you all are still with me and ready for more, I've got an idea as to how I want to end this fic, how ? That's for me to know and you to find out haha sorry not sorry. But anyways stick with it stay with me more feels ahead, that's the warning.
Drop a review when you're done reading to let me know what you thought !
ENJOY
She slams the yellow door shut, tears still rolling down her cheeks as she exits the vehicle and makes her way to the door heading up to the flat. She prays that Mary-Margaret isn't home, that perhaps she'd be on another date to distract herself from David, or maybe she was with him, "helping" at the animal shelter. She just didn't want to deal with the questions, what's going on? Are you okay? What happened? All she wanted to do was curl up in bed and cry, she didn't know when she'd see her son again, she didn't know when she'd see Regina again, though currently she hoped not soon for the later. She'd fallen for the darker woman, and even before she'd come to terms with that, before she'd realized it herself she had already been so easily drawn in time and time again.
This wasn't the first time they'd fought, but none of the past fights seemed to compare to this and they'd never fought over something like this, it'd always been what the other had said, or a misunderstanding. She felt nothing but dread, she didn't want to know what Regina would do or say to her to pull her back, just as she had done after any argument they'd had, big or small, even if it had been about Henry. Those big brown eyes would peer into her heart and soul and she'd cave, she'd run back. She didn't know why, she hated that she did, she'd never been so drawn to someone before, and considering her past relationships and what not she couldn't even begin to think as to why she allowed, or how she allowed herself to be so weak. That's what she was, weak, she was tired, exhausted, worn out, and she'd let herself foolishly have hope that maybe this time, maybe for once life was going to give her something good. She had her son back in her life, she had a job, she had a lover or whatever you'd call what her and the Mayor had going on, but now she'd just lost it all.
If she really wanted to Regina could keep Henry from her, if she really wanted to she could even take her job from her, and knowing all of this did not help the downward spiral of the blonde's mood. She heads into the kitchen area of the flat and opens up a cabinet grabbing the half full bottle of Jack Daniels and a glass, she throws a few ice cubes in and fills it to the brim.
The burn of the alcohol as it goes down her throat is a welcome pain, she needs to numb herself, to throw her walls back up, to ignore her feelings, she needs to become strong again, she sets the bottle on the counter top and sighs as she places her glass down next to it. Just as she takes a deep calming breath she hears her phone start to go off, 'Regina Mills calling…'
She picks up the device and hits the ignore button sending her to voicemail and groans, "Just leave me alone, please," her voice comes out broken. The phone begins going off again and she doesn't have to look at it to know that it is Regina once again trying to call. She let's it ring to the end and then hears the secondary buzz to alert her that there was a voicemail left. Despite the little voice telling her not to she swipes to the left to listen.
"Em-ma," she sounds as if she'd been crying, "Please, answer the phone, talk to me, I'll tell you everything, just call me back, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you, I-" she cuts herself off and Emma's throat tightens, her heart pounds in her chest, what had she been going to say? "Just call me back please" she hears a sob and the line clicks, the end of the voicemail, she drops the phone to the counter as she hears the menu selection to replay, save, or delete the message.
She's half tempted to replay it, to listen to it again, to cave and call her back, she takes another gulp of the liquor and sits on the stool by the counter, a hand tangles in blonde locks and she's thrown into a memory of the last time Regina had left her a voicemail after a fight.
"You can't just expect me to show up at your every beck and call Regina!" her nostrils flare, they're in the Sheriff's station, face to face, in a yelling match. Regina had texted Emma telling her to be at the Mayor's office over an hour ago and when the blonde had failed to show the Mayor had taken it upon herself to come down to the station. Graham had been off that day, hence why they were fighting now, well partially anyways, Regina had told her to be in her office in 20 minutes and the Deputy's response had been that she wasn't leaving without anyone on duty.
"I can and I will! You just had to switch the phone lines so they'd ring direct to your phone and take your lunch break, don't act like you don't know this dear," the brunette snarls.
"And what if I don't want to do that?! What if I want to just keep working, I've only got a shit ton of paperwork anyways thanks to a certain Madam Mayor," she shoots back, green eyes show the frustration and anger clearly but it doesn't deter the other woman.
"Oh so it's my fault?! My fault you've fallen behind in your duties?! No Miss Swan that is all your doing, perhaps if you weren't off galavanting with MY son at every chance you could get then there wouldn't be piles upon piles of late paperwork!" venom drips from her tone.
And then Emma had lost it, since they'd been seeing each other she'd only had one real request of the brunette, and that was not refer to Henry as her son, but as either theirs or just refer to him as Henry, she wasn't expecting some weird kind of family but she hated when anything involving the kid was thrown in her face, "HE'S MY SON TOO!" she yells, her voice echoes loudly throughout the quiet station, no one present but herself and the Mayor.
"YOU GAVE HIM UP AND JUST CAME BACK INTO HIS LIFE DEAR YOU MAY HAVE GIVEN BIRTH TO HIM, CARRIED HIM, BUT YOU WEREN'T THERE FOR IT ALL!" they are both beyond riled up now and that's when the blonde does something that even surprises her.
Her hand comes into contact with an olive cheek, the sound of the slap resonates, it sounds louder than it was, worse than it was, but yet as she realizes what she's just done and looks at the visible quickly appearing and spreading red mark on the brunette's cheek she can't help but to back away, put some space between them. If looks could kill Emma is sure she'd be burned alive or disintegrated on the spot, she backs towards the cells.
And then Regina is advancing towards her and everything about her body language and posture screams that Emma may not make it out of here alive. Her back meets the cold hard bars of the empty cell and then she's struggling to breath, a hand clamped around her throat, and the brunette is right back in her personal space.
"HOW DARE YOU!" she growls and Emma can only sputter in response, she claws at the hand around her neck but she's surprised to find that the Mayor has a decent amount of strength despite her desk job and petite frame.
"Re-" she can't manage much else, she starts to feel faint, and then suddenly the hand around her throat slackens, pulls away and she's coughing a sputtering trying to regain her breath, rubbing her throat, and when she finally does she looks up to see Regina standing back a distance from her, eyes wide. Emerald eyes refocus and she looks ready to attack. Fear flickers through mocha orbs.
"If I were you Madame Mayor, I'd leave right now," she growls, and in a matter of seconds the brunette is gone, she watches the black Benz pull out of the spot next to her yellow steed and she collapses into her chair. Once she can no longer hear the car she let's herself break down, let's the sobs wrack her body. She hadn't meant for it to go that way, she hadn't ever wanted to have it come to this, but it had and she regretted it, oh how she regretted it. On top of that, she also was hit with another sudden realization, this was dirt on her, how easy would it be for the other woman now to make it so that Henry couldn't be left alone with her, or even see her. She picks up her phone and scrolls through her contacts. Her finger lingers over the call button beneath the name 'Regina Mills'.
Afterwards Regina had finally called her, as Emma couldn't bring herself to do it, she didn't know what kind of reaction she'd receive, and left her a voicemail saying she was sorry, she hadn't meant to go there with it, but it had been an automatic response, a defense, it wasn't right but they had to admit that it had occurred. Emma had apologized too, telling her how she shouldn't have started the physical aspect of it either, but she'd let her sudden anger get the best of her and just lashed out.
She'd invited her over for dinner that night to make amends, Henry hadn't been there, so making amends had turned into a lot more than just dinner that night, they'd spoken for hours, and really gotten into what was said how it had hurt each one of them. They had even discussed the physical part of it all, tears had flowed at that, they both had haunting pasts it would seem. She'd finally left at around 2AM exhausted, and well sated in more way than one, walking somewhat tipsy back to the flat she shared with Mary-Margaret.
She'd gone through the self loathing and regret once she'd collapsed into bed that night, but yet the next day they'd gone back to their normal.
She didn't know why she couldn't stay away, why she couldn't resist her, she was supposed to have been mad at her, not gone and had dinner and drinks, not sat and opened up to her for sometimes, and she definitely hadn't planned to end up in bed with her after.
She sighs and takes another gulp of her drink, she glances at her phone, '3 new messages: Regina Mills', she swipes to unlock her phone and read them.
'Emma call me please'
'Come over for dinner so we can talk'
'Henry will be out all night, come over at 8'
She takes another sip of her drink and decides that maybe it's best to just turn her phone off for the rest of the day, she unlocks it and shoots Mary-Margaret a quick text, 'shutting phone off for day, gonna try 2 relax, at flat if u need me'
And with that she shuts the device drops it into the basket on the islander that she'd thrown her keys into, the Deputy grabs the bottle and her glass and moves to collapse onto the couch, setting the bottle on the table and she grabs the remote for the TV. She immediately hits the power button and starts flipping through channels trying to find something, anything of interest. There are a few games on, some cartoons, some news, and all the movies seem to be romantic. She groans aloud and takes another swig before refilling her glass.
"Nothing good," she grumbles, and pushes herself up off the couch using her arms, heading over to the TV stand she opens the little cabinet to the left beneath the TV and rummages through her small collection of DVD's. She decides that "The Dark Knight" wins the selection process. She pops the movie in and sinks into the couch.
The movie starts but her mind is in the past.
She finds herself drowning in memories of her and the Mayor, the first touches, the tender ones, the ones that made her feel, that made her think that the regal woman felt as well.
"Miss Swan," the Mayor yelped in surprise as the blonde lifted her from the ground slightly, she couldn't hide the smile upon red lips.
The Deputy chuckled, "Madame Mayor?" she asks in a mock innocent tone, her strong arms wrapped around a slim waist, her hands holding onto a perfectly rounded ass.
"Put me down," dark eyes look down into light.
"Or what," the blonde turns still holding the olive toned woman in her arms and begins to walk towards the living room.
"Emma, dinner is in the oven," she pushes her hands down on strong shoulders.
Emma unceremoniously drops Regina onto the couch and straddles her waist, "Mhmm, I want desert first though," she wiggles her eyebrows and grins widely at the sweet sound of laughter.
She doesn't recall pouring herself the next few glasses, she's too lost in her thoughts, the distant yet not so distant memories, the movie, which is now running the credits, completely forgotten. She glances at the now nearly empty bottle and sighs, she gets up shakily to head to the bathroom and hears a knock at the door.
"MM if you forgot your keys its unlocked!" she half yells and proceeds to the bathroom, as she's drying her hands on the towel she hears the door creak open. Odd, she'd have let herself in immediately if it was, Emma gasps hoping to gods her assumption as to who it is isn't correct. She rushes out of the bathroom and sure enough she sees the woman she did not want to at the present time.
"Regina," she clutches her forehead and stumbles slightly back towards the coffee table, willing someone to give her strength.
"Emma," she takes a tentative step forward, the door closing behind her, "I was worried, you weren't answering your phone, then it just went to voicemail," her voice sounds broken, as if she'd been crying on and off or nonstop for the few hours now since the blonde had left the mansion, "Emma please let's talk about this."
Golden curls shake from side to side, "No Regina, you had your chance to give me answers," she looks down at her shuffling feet, she can't make eye contact or she'll melt, she'll give in, she can't allow herself to do that right now, especially not with alcohol coursing through her veins, she needs to avoid the brunette at all costs, she's mad, she's hurt, she's upset, she can't just let the other woman pull her right back in. Not after this. This isn't just a simple argument the two had, no this was something entirely different, this was being unfaithful, regardless of whether or not they had titles, she'd been two timed.
"You ran off before I could even give you an answer," she steps closer to the couch and Emma collapses onto it.
"I just wanted to know what we were, I just wanted to know that and you couldn't even tell me," she swipes furiously at her eyes as the tears start to well up again and decides she's definitely going to require more drink, she pours herself the last glass. "You couldn't answer those questions, so why would I think for a second that you'll tell me anything else?!" The liquid courage courses through her allows her to just shoot out what she needs to right now, without hesitation.
"I don't do relationships," the brunette sighs, "And I'm sorry if I misled you to think otherwise, as for…" she trails off.
"As for what Regina?" Emma's tone is harsh and the Mayor is taken aback for a moment.
"Graham," the name leaves her lips in a whisper.
"What about him? How long were you fucking him for?! Was I the other man or was he?! And what the fuck does not doing relationships have to do with this?! What does that have to do with being f-faithful?!" With each question Emma felt herself break a bit more, her vision blurred with the tears, she tilts the glass back finishing it off, she sounds so broken, so distraught. She just wants the pain to stop.
"Emma, we haven't slept together in quite sometime, this week was the first time we had in awhile," mocha eyes look toward the hunched over blonde, she looks so defeated.
The brunette takes a tentative step forward coming up next to the couch, and the blonde opens her mouth just to close it again, she seems to be gathering her thoughts, trying to figure out what to say next. She doesn't feel so big and tough anymore, she feels drained, she feels tired, she feels used, and she feels cheated.
"So you've slept with him before during our…" she trails off glancing up at the Mayor bleary eyed, she can't manage the rest of the question, she knows by the way shoulders slump down defeated what answer she'll be getting, and she can't help the bark of laughter that escapes pink lips. Regina raises her head enough to look at the Deputy her expression that of confusion. What a world, is all she can think, why did she ever think she'd ever get anything good, all the world and the people in it ever did for her was screw her over.
"Emma?" she simply asks, not understanding what could possibly be amusing about this situation. Another chuckle.
"Why?"
She's met with silence now. And now the Deputy's anger is present on her face.
"Did you have him over for dinners right before me? Did you let him play happy little family with you? Did you whisper sweet nothings in his ear? What was you reasoning Regina!" her voice shakes but it's not her being upset, if she let's the anger out, it'll mask the hurt, mask the tears that are trying so hard to work their way up and out of her. The now empty glass in her hand is now thrown to the ground shattering.
Regina jumps, "It wasn't like that, he was just someone to warm my bed, that's it," she puts a hand over her mouth, "That didn't c-"
"Is that supposed to make it all better? He was just a quick fuck when I wasn't available?!" Emma shakes her head and scoffs. "You can't just be happy with me? You figure if you can have both of us then why not?"
"How much have you ha-" the blonde doesn't let her finish that thought, she jumps up and in two steps she's right in front of the older woman.
"I'm not drunk, if that's what you're trying to imply Madame Mayor, and if I was I'm not on duty so you couldn't do anything about it! And do not change the subject! I'm just trying to understand why?! If I wasn't giving it up I could see why, not that it'd justify it, I just am trying to see the reasoning, why you thought this was okay?! Did you really think you'd never get caught?! Was that supposed to be the last time?! How many other last times were there?!" Regina stands at a loss for words, there is not good explanation, no good reason, nothing to justify what she has been doing and she knows this, she never thought one would find out, this was never a scenario in her head, of all the things that could come from this.
She's just about to say something else when the sound of the door opening causes her and Emma to spring apart rather quickly, Emma takes a seat back on the couch and Regina moves towards the kitchen islander leaning on it.
When Mary-Margaret enters the flat she immediately sees Emma, she's in her direct line of sight, "Emma are you okay? I saw your text a bit late, I tried to call but the land line wasn't connected."
"MM I'm fine, and you know that wire is lose, it may've shifted again, but could you," she shifts, the tension is still thick in the air, "give me and the Mayor a minute," she gestures over her shoulder and her roommate jumps slightly in surprise or fear or perhaps a mixture of both.
"I'm sorry, I'll just, do you want a hot cocoa Em? I'll just make a run to Granny's," and she's gone, door closing behind her.
The sudden interruption has snapped her out of her rage temporarily, calmed her slightly. Her next words lack the venom of her prior.
"Regina, I can't let this, whatever it is between us keep going on, not with this new development, though it's not so new, this isn't a no strings attached thing for me, I've got," she shakes her head, no Swan do not admit to feelings, "I need time to clear my head, and I need you to at least give me that, space, from you, I don't want to lose Henry," her voice comes out so quiet at the mention of his name that if she hadn't known the blonde well enough the brunette would've ask her to repeat herself.
"We can work something out, perhaps over dinner tonight?" she reapproaches the couch, placing a hand onto a strong shoulder.
All she manages is a nod.
The hand on her shoulder gives a small squeeze before it's gone, she slumps back into the couch and listens to the click of those heels and the closing of the door. So much for not giving in Swan, she thinks to herself.
Emma rolls over to check the time, 7:15. Mary Margaret had gotten back to the flat shortly after Regina had left, they'd sat in silence drinking their hot cocoa, the school teacher not bothering to ask if she was okay knowing she'd get brushed off or told she was fine. When she'd come back Emma had been curled up on the couch clutching one of the decorative pillows to her chest, silent tears on her face. She'd simply said cocoa and they'd sat and drank them. Afterwards the blonde had mumbled something about a nap and gone to her room.
And here she was now having just woke. She felt more exhausted now than before the sleep that had taken over as soon as her head had hit the pillow, the alcohol had probably aided in this, she considered just rolling back over and going back to sleep. But she knew she was expected at the mansion, and she didn't need the Mayor showing up at the door of the flat again.
She forces herself up, her sheet falling down to reveal just a thin white tank top and boy shorts, she shivers slightly at the chill of the room. She stands and goes to close the window down in order to try and keep what's left of the heat in the room.
Opening the dresser drawer she quickly finds a pair of her infamous skin tight jeans and a bra, she removes the tank she'd slept in and slides the straps of the bra over her shoulders before clipping it shut, her jeans go on next and then she decides to just grab a sweater to throw on, it's not like this is anything more than a casual, if it can even be called that, dinner between the Mayor and the Deputy. It's not a date, it's not anything more than that, she can't let it be, she's simply going to get her answers and that's it.
She grabs her body spray and squirts some onto herself and throws her hair into a messy ponytail. The next question was to walk or drive, she checks the time again, 7:21. Walking will kill some more time and she'll be early for once, and being early means that this night can end sooner, so she searches for her sneakers and slips them on.
As she makes her way downstairs she sees MM in the kitchen, "I'll be back later, I don't know when, don't wait up, I'll send you a message once I'm on my way though."
"Emma, wait," she drops the cup she was washing back into the sink and comes around the islander to stand in front of Emma, "I don't know what's going on between you and Regina, but I've got eyes, and I can put things together, whatever it is she did to you, whatever it is you're going over there to discuss, if you need to talk to me when you get back just wake me okay?" She offers a small smile and Emma can't help but return it.
"Thanks MM, I know, I just, I've got to handle this, I'll see you later," she gives her friend a quick hug and then she's out the door racing down the stairs, she runs out into the cool air outside.
She breaks into a run, going the opposite way of the mansion, she knows she is, but she needs this, needs to just run, to get it out. She runs down to the docks and finds the bench that she and Regina have had so many conversations on. She sighs, she wishes she could turn back time, wishes she hadn't found out about Graham sleeping with the brunette. She doesn't wish to change it, just to forget it so that they could go back to a time when she was happier, she was sick of the tears, tired of the pain in her chest. It was hard to breathe, she hadn't felt this way since Neal, she blinks back a stray tear. This was heartbreak, she'd fallen for her son's other Mother, after so long of blocking out feelings, of not being in any actual relationships, it was just her luck.
She'd up and left her life back in Boston for Henry, for her son, and that day is when everything had started to change. It wasn't that she blamed him, he was a 10 year old boy who just wanted to find his birth mom she couldn't blame him for that, she'd have done the same thing if her own parents weren't so hard to find. Years of searching had turned up nothing, and even after she'd become a bails bonds person and had access to tools not everyone did she still couldn't find them.
She takes a few deep calming breathes and pulls out her phone, 7:42. She might as well start this walk, she hadn't realized how long she'd stood in thought.
Just as she reaches to knock the door to 108 swings open, "You're late dear," her tone is soft though and Emma almost smiles.
"Overslept," she steps inside and closes the door behind them.
"Dinner's on the table, I made lasagna, there's beer in the fridge, or I can get a decanter of cider if you'd prefer," Emma nods and can't help but think back to the first time she'd been offered 'a glass of the best apple cider'. As she waits for Regina to get the drink she moves into the dining room and to her usual seat. She notices a few scraps on the wall behind her chair, and looks down at the ground, a small piece of glass catches the light, she puts one and one together. Apparently she wasn't the only one throwing glasses.
She's still staring at it when a throat clearing causes her to turn around, her breath catches, she hadn't paid the other woman any mind when she'd opened the door, but now as she took her in she noticed the tightness of the black dress she wore. The low dip of the front, cut into a 'V' shape that showed what the woman had to offer. She gulps.
"Cider," an olive arm extends forward and the blonde reaches a shaky one for the glass.
"Thanks"
They both remain silent during dinner, Regina constantly looking over at Emma while green eyes remain focused on the plate in front of her, she just didn't really want to do this, didn't want to have this conversation, she just needed to find a way to get over the heartache and just remain civil with her so that she could still see Henry, that was it.
"Emma," that rich voice she loves so much breaks the silence and she's looking up into mocha eyes before she even has time to process what she's doing, the brunette stands and moves around the table to the blonde whose eyes are fixed on her. Emma gulps. "Let's go to the living room so we can talk," she extends her hand and the other woman takes it, they never break eye contact as the Mayor leads her away from their dinner.
As they make it into the living room Emma is guided to sit on the couch, Regina sits next to her, still clasping her hand.
"Reg-" a finger comes up to meet pink lips silencing her.
"Emma, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done what I did, I know it doesn't make it go away, I know it doesn't make it hurt any less," the finger on her lip now moves with the others to brush over her cheek lightly, a sharp intake of breath and she's trying so hard not to give in and just say yes to this beauty. So she does the only thing she can think of, she pulls her hand from the others grasp and uses it to remove the other from her face.
"Regina, let me talk," her voice shakes slightly, "please," a single tear rolls down a pale cheek, her eyes have such a pleading and she's sure heart broken look to them and right now she doesn't quite frankly care about looking weak anymore, she needs to stand up for herself, she needs to go back to being herself, not herself with feelings, but the Emma Swan that doesn't let anyone in, because this situation, these events have just proven to her that what she always swore to be the truth is. People lie, people cheat, and at the end of the day you're alone, you're by yourself. There is no such thing as this 'True Love' Henry's always going on and on about. Fairy Tales don't exist, she's not a Princess whose going to find a Prince to sweep her off her feet. There are no Fairy God-Mothers, no magic spells, nothing in the world that can change what has happened between them, because if there was she knows she'd already have it in her possession, she'd already have forgotten it all.
The darker woman simply nods and folds her hands in her lap, she tries hard to hide the disappointment etched on her features, or is it hurt, perhaps both, it all seems to blur together.
"I thought," she takes a deep breath and looks down at her own hands now, "I thought we had something going on, we've come so far since when I first got dragged here, we don't fight like we used to, I mean every now and then things get heated between us but at the end of the day we weren't going to let it split us. I saw him coming out of your window Regina, that just destroyed me, it woke me up, I can't do this, I can't be with someone who doesn't respect me enough. I don't want to know how long, I don't want to know if I was the one who came into this late, I just want to be able to see Henry still. He's all that matters right now, you obviously have some issues you need to work out as do I but I just can't" her voice falters and she takes another soothing breath, "I thought we had something, something real, and now I realize I was just being delusional, how could anyone be content with just me anyways, I don't have much if anything to offer. I'm just a lonely orphan, an ex con, even if it wasn't really my fault or crime, I gave up the one good thing I got from the bastard who got me locked up, and I finally was starting to think maybe things would go right, that things wouldn't blow up in my face like they always do. But I was wrong, gods I was so wrong," she sniffles, she wishes that things could be different, wishes that they weren't here right now, this is one of those parts of life that she just hates.
"I started to fall for you," and now she cannot fight the tears, cannot fight the desperation heard clearly in her voice, cannot help but to glance up again. She's trying to get a read off of the facial expression of the Mayor, but she's met with a mask, walls, she's met with nothingness, and that stabs her right through the heart, no one ever cares, no one ever feels sorry for what they do to her, she doesn't know why she'd let herself think this time would be any different. "I just want to go back, I just want to erase it all, because if this is how it ends, if this is how it really was, the illusion was better, the dream better, but now here we are and I'm realizing it wasn't all that I thought it was, I realize that I should've seen the signs, I should've stopped it before I got in as deep as I did. It wasn't supposed to become this, it was just sex at first, it was just an alternate way to release the stress and tension rather than fighting all the time with you. But then it became so much more, I got swept up into it all.
"The late nights, the deep conversations, the dinners with just the two of us, sometimes with Henry too, I never thought of it as anything more than what it was, or at least I thought I hadn't. I was wrong, I just, I want us to be able to be civil, for the kids sake. For the sake of us still having to work together, for the sake of my sanity, but I can't let this go on any longer, I can't just fall back into your arms, you can't just apologize and say you'll stop. It won't fix it, won't make it better, won't change it or make it go away.
"I think I've fallen for you, and I hate myself for it, I really do, I lo-" she pushes herself off the couch and moves back towards the kitchen, she can't be close to her right now, it hurts too much, she'd almost told her how she felt and boy would that have been the worst decision ever, the icing on the cake for all of this. Her arms wrap around her waist as she holds herself and then suddenly there is a body pressed into her back and arms wrapping around her own.
"Please, don't," the cry evident in her tone, and as the other woman holds her she breaks, the dam bursts, and all the tears flow freely now, all the pain pouring out of her.
"Emma," and now she sounds as if she is close to tears, "Please stay with me tonight, I don't want you to be alone, and I don't want to be alone, I know no amount of apologies can make up for it all, I know I cannot simply undo the past, I was scared and I reacted. Scared of the feelings, I haven't dealt with emotions like this in quite some time. It's always been easy to just shut it off or to stop the arrangement before I got in too deep, but I don't want to lose you, I don't want to give you up, and I know that makes me selfish but I just need you. Stay, please."
Emma feels the tears on her shoulder where the brunettes head is resting, she feels the sting of her words, 'stay', after all this time, after all they'd gone through she'd never once asked her to stay and oh how she wanted to, just one last time to lay in those arms she had learned to love, the embrace that almost felt like home. But she couldn't stay, no matter how much she craved it, needed it. It was too late, the timing was off, it wasn't the same, it never would be. And olive arms wrap around her tighter and she drops her own arms from her waist.
She turns in the arms of the woman she has started to love, all she can do is shake her head.
She pulls from her grasp still moving her head side to side, words are not her strong point right now, she takes a step back once she's stood alone now, no heat pressed against her.
The brunette let's out a strangled sob and her one hand comes up to cover her mouth as she suddenly realizes what's about to happen. As she realizes just how much damage she's done to an already damaged woman, one who'd let her in.
The Deputy is soon running past her and the door slams loudly echoing in the empty mansion.
She couldn't stay, she had to leave.
Alright so ha don't kill me, lol. The next chapter goes full song mode, this one kind of goes there I feel so yeah, but please R&R let me know thoughts and all, Part 3 is on it's way soon. The only thing I'll tell you about part three is that it will jump forward in time after I complete how this plays out.