Disclaimer not mine

I decided to make this a slightly longer story.

Chapter 2: Forgiveness?

Ronnie stared at the kettle wishing it would boil faster. He knew Sarah had told him to buy it because it matched his kitchen. He didn't care if it matched or not, it just too long to boil and when you were waiting for a strong coffee that was important. He glanced at his mobile to see a text message had arrived. Two words.

"Ring me."

He smiled as he realised who the message was from. Even with Wes left temporarily in charge of MIT she couldn't stop worrying about her team. Angie and her lads were as much a part of Natalie's family as her own kids were. He shook his head and took the mugs of coffee into the living room.

"Good morning Sunshine." He placed a mug on the table in front of the sofa. "Do you feel as rough as you look? Cause, you my son look like a badgers..."

"Yeah." Sam groaned. He ran a hand over his face. "Yeah, God what did I drink last night.?"

"I think the question is, what didn't you drink last night." Ronnie sat down and placed a mug of steaming black coffee on the table in front of him. "Drink that."

"I hate coffee."

"Tough." Ronnie got to his feet. "Look at the state of you. We've only 'ad this stand in Guv a couple of weeks. What's 'e going to think of us if you turn up with the hangover from Hell? I tell you something, son you are not driving today."

"I know." Sam screwed up his eyes as a headache began pounding behind his eyes. "Sorry Ron."

"You 'av got nothing to be sorry about." Ronnie clapped his hand on the younger man's back. "Just don't end up like me."

"Eh?" Sam opened his eyes as Ronnie sighed. He knew Matt and Alesha knew the story but he had hoped it was a tale he wouldn't have to tell the newer members of the team.

"Before I started on MIT I was a drunk." He looked Sam in the eye. "I am not proud of it."

"I knew you didn't drink."

"Today I don't drink and yesterday I didn't. I just hope I don't tomorrow." Ronnie sighed. "I almost did start again when Matt was shot. Just before you started with us. Alesha and Natalie made sure I wasn't so stupid as to start again."

"I am not going to end up like that." Sam looked away. "I just wont."

"I hope not." Ronnie spoke calmly. "I almost lost everything, my family, my job. It did cost me my marriage. If it wasn't for Natalie trusting me and giving me a second chance I'd be out of work."

"I am not going to end up like that."

"Funny enough, that's what I said." Ronnie looked away. "I started hitting the bottle when I was in uniform. Didn't really become a problem until I was a DI."

"You were an inspector?"

"Don't look so shocked." Ronnie shook his head. "Yeah, I was. And I took demotion to come to MIT. It was that or get kicked out. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is there was this girl. Only a teenager. She had called 999 after she was attacked. I was in the area with my then partner. By the time we got there she was laying in a pool of blood. Poor girl was a mess. I thought she was already dead." He paused at the memory. "You know? It never ceases to amaze me what people can do to each other. I'll never forget that girl."

"Matt was right."

"Eh?"

"You really do have a story for every situation." Sam shook his head and immediately regretted it.

"Yeah? Well. I've been around a while." Ronnie paused. "Drink your coffee." He got to his feet as Sam lifted the mug. "My point is, I drank until my liver resembled a tea bag. Still didn't forget that kid. Still have nightmares about finding her body, helping the paramedics load her onto the ambulance." Ronnie looked at him. "Alcohol doesn't make you forget. Not really. It just blocks it out for a bit." He walked towards the doorway as Sam closed his eyes.

"You still get nightmares?"

"It 'as been known." Ronnie paused. "You're a good copper Sam. Don't blow it."

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"So." Alesha turned as she heard the familiar voice. Kate stood behind her smirking slightly. "Back with James then."

"Yes." Alesha nodded. "How's things going with Jacob Thorne?"

"He's an interesting prosecutor." Kate fell into step alongside Alesha. "You worked with them both."

"Yes." Alesha nodded. "But I got fed up of acting like a football ref." Kate laughed and for a moment.

"I know that feeling." She turned and headed off leaving Alesha wondering what the new girl was talking about. She knew George had only paired her with Jake when it was obvious the workload was becoming too much for Alesha. A fact she slightly resented. Sighing heavily she turned and headed into her office to see Matt sat waiting for her.

"You ok?" He looked up.

"Yeah. How's Sam? He was pretty cut up yesterday." She picked up her coat, glad that she didn't have to work late.

"Hangover from Hell. Ronnie and Angie took to having the radio on all day. Never heard Ron so loud." Alesha shook her head as she imagined the day her friends would have given Sam. All the good natured teasing would have distracted him from his morbid thoughts and self blame, as well as made him feel like an idiot for getting so drunk. Matt handed Alesha her jacket as she smiled slightly, glad to be going home.

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"Well?" Ronnie smiled as he listened to the voice on the other end of the phone.

"Oh hello Ron. How's things?" Ronnie teased as Natalie rolled her eyes.

"Oh stop messing about. I've just had to listen to the most pompous, idiotic DCI I've ever met. For thirty minutes." Natalie huffed as Ronnie smirked. "How's Sam?"

"Nursing a very bad headache."

"You found him?"

"Yeah." Ronnie nodded. "He's a good copper. He knows the score."

"Ron." Natalie sighed. "He held that girl while she died in his arms. That is not going to go away over night."

"I know."

"Well?"

"I sobered him up and let him kip on my sofa." Ronnie explained. "He's in bits, to be honest. He's blaming himself."

"I was worried he would do that."

"Yeah, me and all." Ronnie agreed as he closed his eyes. "He's a good copper, he isn't gonna end up like me."

"Ron."

"No, he just has to accept he is isn't to blame. We didn't cause that accident and there was no way he could have saved that kid. He just has to forgive himself I suppose. Mind you there is nothing to forgive."

"And how long did it take you? After that girl was stabbed?" Natalie began pacing her B&B bedroom, course work and books strewn over the bed. "How long before you forgave yourself?" Natalie had a funny feeling she knew the answer.

"Tell you what? I'll let you know when I have."

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A/N please review.