Chapter 2
Seems we have some reviews!
Damon: I know that they are for me so do you want me to get the flamethrower for vampire fairy over here?
Edward: *twitch*
Actually, Damon. They're for Edward.
Damon: WHAT? How can that fairy have any fans?
Ok first up is SouthernHemmy! SouthernHemmy who do you like and why?
SouthernHemmy: I like Edward, sparkles and all.
Ok and how will you torture Damon?
SouthernHemmy: Stakes.
Damon: *grabs SouthernHemmy by the throat* try anything and you die.
SouthernHemmy: *rams a stake into Damon's arm, causing him to let go and rams three more in*
Damon: OW! YOU LITTLE WHORE!
SouthernHemmy: *smirks and pours vervain all over Damon*
Damon: *screams* WHEN I GET RECOVERED YOUR BODY WILL BE A PILE OF ASHES!
Thank you SouthernHemmy. And about the question, no I will not be taking over Chi's show. This is different then hers and I have no intention of doing so. Moving on, next up is Ian Somerhalder!
Crowd: *screams and goes insane*
Ian: *smiles* nice you see you guys.
Damon: *still weak from the stakes and vervain* you better pick me.
Ok Ian, who do you like? Damon or Edward?
Ian: Well, Damon is a pompous jerk and Edward is a nice guy but I have to go with Damon since I play him on the show.
Damon: Good, now make that sparkling freak cry!
Ian: *jabs a stake in Edward's stomach*
Edward: You jerk! *kneels over in pain*
Damon: *smirks* now that your purpose has been served, GET OFF THE STAGE YOU PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR AN ACTOR! YOU CAN NEVER BE ME!
Ian: *glares at Damon* is it possible to change my answer?
No, sorry. But if you want to torture Damon then feel free to do so.
Ian: *smirks as he pours more vervain all over Damon*
Damon: You. Are. So. DEAD!
Ian: Not from where I'm standing. *smiles sweetly at Damon before walking off*
Ok that was fun.
Damon: NO IT WASN'T!
Edward: *pulls stake out* I actually enjoyed it except when your clone stabbed me. It was very enjoyable. Looks like you don't have as much fans as you believe.
Damon: Can it twinkle toes!
Oh look, Emily's back!
Emily: Hey Hailey, I heard what happened to Damon. Can I torture him now please?
Sure, why not? But first you have to say you like Edward.
Emily: Fine. I like Edward. Now. Hehe...*walks over to Damon with an evil grin on her face*
Damon: *screams like a little girl as he's being horribly tortured*
Emily: There! All done!
Damon: *wearing a pink tutu and a golden tiara with pink slippers* You better sleep with one eye open tonight hoe!
Emily: Aww, don't you look so cute! Especially with all that make up on!
Damon: I hate you.
Emily: Aww, I love you too!
Haha and as an added bonus, Damon has to wear that outfit for the rest of the show!
Damon: THE HELL I'M NOT!
*smirks* yes you are! And I'm officially promoting Emily (aka saysinprincess1992) to being the co-host of this show!
Emily: Yay!
We have another contestant! Please welcome tweey09!
Tweey09: my name is Jarelis.
I like damon because he's so hott and sexy and sometimes sweet and i want
edward to be on fire.
Ok that can be arranged.
Edward: *screams as he is lit on fire*
*five minutes pass*
Ok, extinguish the fire.
Emily: *puts out the fire*
Edward: *extremely black and a tiny bit of fire is still in his hair. Breathes out smoke*
Damon: Oh god you look so funny!
Edward: Can it stake boy! *coughs*
Damon: Atleast I don't have a fireplace in my hair.
Edward: Huh? *reaches up and dusts the flames out*
Damon: *mutters* idiot.
Edward: Well, atleast I'm not dressed up as a woman!
Damon: You know what? I'm making a hit list, and you and Emily are on the very top!
Emily: I'm so flattered!
Damon: And I'm going to kill you first.
Emily: *smirk* go ahead and try. My boyfriend will protect me.
Damon: You think a puny human will be able to beat me?
Emily: It's not a human, it's the next best thing: a sayian.
Damon: Oooh I'm so scared of the big bad sayian! What is he going to do? Power up himself to death?
Emily: Nope, he's already powered up and ready to kick some butt. Oh Broly, won't you come over here please?
Broly: *flies over to where Emily is in his LSSJ (legendary super sayian) form and lands besides her, putting his arm around her small frame and kissing her temple.* Yes baby?
Emily: Show Damon the meaning of terror, but don't kill him.
Broly: Gladly. *looks at Damon then back at Emily* Wow her name is Damon? That's a weird name for a girl.
Emily: *laughing* that's a boy!
Broly: Then why is he wearing a tutu and pink slippers with a ton of make up and a golden tiara? Oh he's gay!
Emily: *tears rolling down her face, trying to catch her breath* No, I put that on him to torture him and he has to wear it for the rest of the show!
Broly: Oh.
Emily: After I did that, he threatened to kill me.
Broly: *eyes widen in rage* he won't touch you, not over my dead body. *turns to Damon and picks him up by his neck* you threaten my girl again, and you'll be needing plastic surgery to rearrange your face back to normal!
Damon: *too weak to say anything*
Broly: *smirks and throws him back onto the floor* I think I scared him stiff. Call me again if he does anything else to you.
Emily: *nods as he places a kiss on her cheek* bye babycakes.
Broly: Bye baby. *flies off*
Crowd: 0.0
Umm...that was a very good way to scare the eternal life out of him.
Emily: *smirk* yes it was!
Ok, let's go to the next contestant! Up next we have Alesandra54!
Alesandra54: ROFL...haha I LOVE this=p So I am most defiantly TEAM DAMON...WOOT WOOT! lol I
love what you have so far. Very creative and original.
I love Damon because well other than the whole hot/badass/badboy/ thing he has
going on. He actually; whether he would admit it or not(most likely not) has a
heart...somewhere...I think...Oh and did I mention that he is so freakin sexy
it should be illegal?
I would torture Edward by well... having him watch Damon attack Bella. Oh and I
would love to randomly stake him and break a few limbs here and there =)
Ok, very good answer!
Damon: Congrats. You're not on my hit list. Heh, watch out Bella.
Bella: *screams as Damon attacks her*
Edward: Leave her alone! *tries to stop him but got slammed into a wall by Damon*
Alesandra54: *laughs*
Damon: *Punches Bella in the face and throws her into the wall.*
Bella: *blood coming out of almost every part of her body* Please stop!
Ok, that's enough Damon.
Damon: *stops hitting Bella and walks away from her while a horror-struck Edward watches*
Edward: Bella, my love, are you alright?
Bella: *runs into his arms crying*
Damon: *rolls eyes* give me a break.
Edward: I hate you Damon!
Damon: I know.
Next contestant up is burntcinnamon!
burntcinnamon: Okay! I 3 ur story!
I choose Damon cause hr is like sex in a bottle and totally hot! EdwEirdo AKA
RPattz is a ugly non- shaving person !
I want to tie Edward to a chair with ropes laced with vervain and make it so
he cannot move and then get Damon to help me wound edward with several pointy
knives! And then get Damon to compel Bella to change into scanty lingerie and
give him a lapdance.
Emotional and physical torture on Eddie!
Done!
Edward: I HATE YOU ALL! *tries to break free*
Damon: *laughs* you can't get free, idiot.
Edward: *gives Damon the death glare*
Damon: *walks over to Bella and compels her* Give me a lap dance and make it good.
Bella: *gives Damon a lap dance*
Damon: Wow, this one an't half bad!
Edward: I'll murder you.
*sees Emily walking towards her* Oh hey Emily, whatssup?
Emily: Just thought i would bring some stuff to help with the torture.
A chainsaw, a curling iron, a make up kit, a crowbar, a flamethrower, some bottles filled with vervain, and a couple of stakes? Thanks!
Emily: Anytime! Oh and Damon.
Damon: *glares* what?
Emily: *smiles innocently as she kicked him in the groin*
Damon: MY BALLS!
Emily: Bye, have fun! I'll come back when I can think up of more ideas for torture. *walks off*
Damon: *clutching his lower area* stupid little b-
Hey watch your mouth!
Damon: UP YOURS!
*glares and grabs Damon by his hair, yanking it hard*
Damon: OW OW OW!
That's what you get.
Damon: *rubs head* you just moved up on my hit list.
Like I care Nancy.
Damon: What did you just call me?
Nancy, it's a girl name because you look like a girl.
Damon: I'M NOT A GIRL!
Couldn't fooled me with that outfit you're wearing.
Damon: Screw you.
*smiles* ok next up is kazumiXheartless!
kazumiXheartless: I love it! I'm team Damon because I never really like Edward. Shiny bastard.
Ok, now since there is no message explaining of the torture, we have to do it ourselves. Emily, would you do the honors?
Emily: Gladly. *walks up to Edward with a flamethrower in hand and sets his balls on fire* Hope you like extra crispy fried balls!
Edward: *screams like a little schoolgirl*
Emily: *laughing evilly* I'm so evil.
*laughing hysterically* yes you are!
Edward: *hopping around while clutching his groin area* PUT THE FIRE OUT! PUT THE FIRE OUT!
Emily: I like fried donut balls.
Me too! They are so good! What she is referring to is actually little donut cakes but we call them fried donut balls for fun because they're small and round.
Emily: Just like Damon's!
Damon: WHY YOU LITTLE WHORE! I'LL MAKE SURE TO DRAG OUT YOUR DEATH LONG AND SLOW!
Emily: Go ahead and try. Just remember who my boyfriend is.
Damon: That over sized of muscle freak doesn't scare me. They're probably just for show. Hell, I bet they're fake.
Broly: *flies over and punches Damon in the face, sending him flying high into the air until you couldn't even see him.*
Crowd: 0.0
Wow. I wonder how long it'll be till he comes back down. We have a show to do!
*ten minutes later a speck in the sky could be seen*
And that's him. Somebody either flies up and get him or try to catch him.
Edward: He's a vampire he'll be fine.
Damon: *hits the ground hard, creating a small crater the size of his body.*
Damon? Are you ok?
Damon: *groans as he stands up, his hair a complete mess but the dress somehow remained unharmed* Why didn't anybody bother to catch me?
Because Edward said that it was fine because you were a vampire and could withstand those kinds of falls.
Damon: *eyes turn toward Edward with the look of death* I'M GOING TO KILL YOU YOU STUPID FAIRY!
*Damon and Edward fight*
Emily: *sighs as she throws liquid vervain at them* break it up.
*Damon and Edward stop fighting* what was that for?
Someone had to break you up.
Damon: *glares* that sparkling reject deserved it.
Edward: Now princess, that's no way to talk.
Damon: SHUT UP!
Emily: Hailey, let's continue with the show!
Right! Let's continue! Contestant Misssagagemini is up!
Misssagagemini: I would choose Damon without any doubts !
I love that smile he makes and his deep eyes..
He is just a keeper ! 3
I don't really care that he is kind of a bad boy because he is so handsome and
attractive and sensual and.. you know ;)
Hum... torturing Edward. It doesn't bother me to do it but I like Twilight too
(not as much as VD) and I was always team Edward since Jacob is a pre-teen
hairy dog.
My torture would then be to.. give Bella to Damon so he can drink her blood
and just kill her already ! :P In front of Edward of course, without him being
able to help the girl :)
Edward: *finally put out the fire and breathed a sigh of relief* finally I can relax. *eyes widen when he sees Damon killing Bella* NO!
Damon: *smirks as he throws Bella's empty shell to the ground* whoops, looks like I killed your girlfriend.
Edward: YOU JERK! DIE! *attacks Damon*
*sigh* not this again.
Emily: *nods*
Guys, break it up we have another contestant!
*Damon and Edward continue fighting*
*gets a flamethrower and blasts it toward Damon and Edward*
*Damon and Edward stops fighting*
Good! Now that I have your attention, please welcome Heart-Broken-In-Love!
Heart-Broken-In-Love: I'm drunk and high but I'm still in my right mind enough to choose Damon! Haha
I want to torture Edward to death! The gay sparkly fairy the ** bag needs to die!
I know how you feel. You can have some fun but not too much. We need him alive for the next chapter.
Heart-Broken-In-Love: Thanks. *grabs Edward and takes him backstage*
*loud screams of pain could be heard*
I don't even want to know what she is doing to him.
Damon: Heh heh. I know exactly what they are doing.
Keep your thoughts to yourself!
Damon: Fine. *grins* ram that sparkling -beep- Hey! What did you do that for?
Because we have younger people here and that language is not appropriate!
Damon: As if I give a flying -beep-
That will happen every time you cuss. You can thank Emily for coming up with it.
Damon: I'll thank that -beep- when she is dead.
Emily: Now, is that a way to talk to a lady? Especially one who has a super strong boyfriend?
Damon: Lady? *gags* more like an over inflated balloon.
Emily: *snaps fingers and Broly appears beside her* Why don't you say that again?
Damon: I don't repeat myself.
Broly: What did that he she say?
Damon: I'm standing right here!
Emily: He called me fat. An over inflated balloon.
Broly: *glares stakes at Damon* I'll hit you so hard this time I'll send you to the moon!
Damon: Bring it! You're ugly and look alot like Edward with the glowing body.
Broly: *punches Damon as hard as he could and sends Damon flying through the air*
I can't see him anymore. Do you think Broly sent him to the moon?
Emily: Probably. He'll be the first vampire ever to land- or crash onto the moon.
*Heart-Brown-In-Love comes back with a crying Edward*
Emily: So how did it go?
Edward: STAY AWAY FROM ME!
I'm guessing it didn't go well for Edward.
Emily: Edward, what happened to your arm? It looks almost completely torn off!
Edward: THAT GIRL IS EVIL!
*Damon comes crashing down into the ground, creating another crater but much bigger then the last*
How was your trip to the moon, Damon?
Damon: *spits out rocks from his mouth* I'm going to kill that over muscled freak and enjoy ripping out his throat!
Well that has to wait because we have another contestant! Please welcome elenastarstalker!
elenastarstalker: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA omg this was sooo funny! I couldn't shut up laughing!
Anyways, I choose Damon, for 3 reasons: he's hotter, killing people is hot,
and he likes pickles. I would torture Edward by throwing him in a fireplace
for a half an hour.
Once again, very VERY funny!
Damon: *smirks* finally someone thinks that killing humans is hot.
Edward: That person must be on crack then.
Damon: Ok that's enough out of you. *throws Edward into the fireplace*
Edward: *screams bloody murder*
Emily: Burn baby burn!
*half an hour later*
Ok take Edward out of the fireplace.
Damon: *grabs the half barbecued vampire and threw him onto the floor*
Edward: I need water!
Damon: *dumps a bucket full of ice cold water on him with a dozen piranhas in it* Enjoy.
Edward: *screams as piranhas started biting him*
Damon: *laughs evilly*
Edward: *runs away from the piranhas* I HATE YOU!
Damon: Hate is such a strong word.
Edward: Stupid little sissy! Go back to your tea parties and leave me the hell alone!
Damon: You really shouldn't have said that. *grabs flamethrower and lights Edward's hair on fire*
Edward: *screaming like a little girl and running around franticly*
You guys are such children. *rolls eyes* anyways, I'm deciding to end this chapter here but first lets tally up the votes!
Emily: So far Damon has 8 votes and Edward has only 2.
Edward: That is a lie!
Damon: Stop being such a baby.
Edward: No, I had three votes, not two!
Damon: *snort* what other person on crack would read this and vote for you?
Edward: She said that she liked me! *points to Emily*
Emily: I only said that so I could torture Damon.
Edward: I know you want me. *sexy smirk*
Emily: Excuse me while I go throw up. *runs to the bathroom*
Damon: Haha see? She doesn't like you! She likes me because no one can resist the Damon Salvatore charm!
Edward: The only charm you have is to make girls disappear when they are in bed with you.
Damon: They disappear because they know that you are coming!
Ok guys, this chapter is over now. I would like to thank everyone for reviewing this chapter and giving me an idea of who you like and *looks at Edward* don't like.
Edward: *mutters under breath* whore.
Anyways, this just came to me. Instead of making this just about Edward and Damon, I was thinking about adding a few more characters to face against each other. Like, once I go through a couple of chapters, the person who wins the most chapters advances on and the other person who loses will be sent home. Then he could face off against someone else. I'm still thinking about it so let me know in the reviews what you think! Again, thanks so much for reviewing!