Eurydice
- II -
Clarke's absence weighs on Bellamy, and it's heavier than he expected. He's unsure if it's the weight of her loss, or if it's the burden of leading their people by himself. He's afraid to fail her again because he doesn't have the same faith in himself that Clarke has in him. Bellamy has always had Clarke by his side, even when he wasn't sure he wanted her there, and now he has to fill the hole Clarke left behind – in more ways than one.
So Bellamy stops counting the days since Clarke left. He can't afford to be distracted by thoughts of her while trying to assimilate the remaining 100 into the structure of the society the Arkers have developed within Camp Jaha's walls. So he carries the loss like a secret, keeps it locked away behind the caging of his ribs and does what Clarke asked of him: he takes care of their people.
The Arkers don't really seem to know what to do with them, or how to react to them, but Bellamy isn't all that surprised.
On the Ark, the 100 had been locked away – out of sight, out of mind. They were delinquents, criminals, not productive members of society, while Bellamy himself had been a disgraced cadet. Here on the ground, it's another story entirely. The Arkers can't ignore what the 100 have gone through since being sent to the ground, can't ignore them – they can't afford to because the camp has not made contact with any of the other stations that made to the ground, and also because they need as many extra hands as possible.
There are still people that brush them off, that don't want anything to do with them, still thinking of them as criminals. The two or three that have family within the camp's walls find it difficult to settle back in with them because they are not the same kids that they knew on the Ark; the families that lost children to the ground are resentful and distant, and the kids who don't know what happened to their families are torn somewhere between relieved and distracted – relieved because they don't want their families to see what they've had to become to survive and distracted because the idea of finally seeing them again is too much to hope for.
Without anyone really telling them to, and without any real approval the remaining 100 establish their own corner of Camp Jaha – an amalgamation of rickety shacks and lean-tos, all clustered together in almost too close proximity, but the walls break the wind, and the roofs only leak in a few places. Bellamy understands their need to go back to someone familiar because sticking together had gotten them all through everything, and the idea of being too far away from each other must terrify them.
And in the far back corner of the camp, they don't risk waking the Arkers in the night with screaming.
.
It takes less time than Bellamy had hoped for, but the trauma the remaining 100 endured begins to take its toll in fits and starts.
Jasper shaves his head and stops speaking to nearly everyone, Monty included and almost especially Bellamy. There are bruise-like shadows beneath his eyes that tell everyone just how little sleep he's getting, but no one dares say anything for fear of making themselves a hypocrite. On his nightly rounds, Bellamy sometimes catches Jasper slinking through the camp, silent as a shadow.
Monty retreats into himself, Harper never far from his side anymore, but he seems to find some comfort in helping the camp get into better condition. He jumps at any loud noise, but they all do these days, and eats little. His jovial personality is greatly dimmed, and smiles are slow coming, laughter even slower.
Octavia wakes screaming in the night, choking on tears, no doubt haunted by the all people she had watched die. In daylight hours she turns it into pushing her body as far as it will let her, seeming to hope that she'll be too exhausted for nightmares, but she never is – none of them are. She's quick and easy to anger, snapping like whip-cord at the drop of a hat at anyone who has the misfortune of being in her path. She barely speaks to Bellamy, and when she does it's one word answers. He wonders if she's figured out that she factored into his decision to irradiate Mt. Weather – that he did it for her as much as he did it for Clarke.
Raven becomes much like the machines she works with until Bellamy is certain that she's managed to replace her blood and organs with circuitry and gears. She's rarely seen outside of the workshop, and the only people she consistently spends time with are Wick and Monty. She jumps when anyone moves towards her too quickly, a weapon at the ready whenever she's caught off guard. She complains more and more often about pain in her leg until one day not even the brace can help her walk.
Bellamy wakes in cold sweat, the taste of blood between his teeth from biting the inside of his cheek to silence the screams that try to claw their way out in his sleep. He forces his hands steady when they shake, counts through seizing panic even when he's certain that his heart is simply going to burst from beating so hard. He stops turning toward flashes of blonde hair out of the corner of his eye as something akin to resentment wraps its way around every thought and memory of Clarke.
.
Jasper goes missing.
Clarke has been gone 43 days.
Please let me know what you thought!
- Kay