Well, this started as a one-shot, but I decided to go ahead and make it a series of random fandom. They may as well stick together! The idea for this one came to me last summer when my aunt was all panicked about jellyfish in the sea. So I thought, "Hmm, how can I torture my Ace Attorney darlings with this?" Et voilà!

"SWIMMING!" shouted Chief of Police Damon Gant as he plunged into the water. The idea for a corporate beach party had come to him in a sudden moment of genius, and he wouldn't rest until his dream became reality. His coworkers hadn't seen him this jubilant since their Christmas party; of course, he had been pretty intoxicated at the time.

Miles Edgeworth took a seat on the nearest shady chaise, not wanting to draw unneeded attention to himself. Normally he wouldn't be caught dead at an office gathering like this—especially one where modesty is, um, lacking—but since Gant had made it mandatory for all members of Criminal Affairs and the D.A.'s office to attend, he hadn't had much of a choice. He heard an exasperated sigh from behind him, and turned to see one Lana Skye, watching the Chief making a fool of himself while all the people in the ocean near him cowered in fear. She shot Miles a small smile.

"Mr. Edgeworth, I'm not sure jeans and a dress shirt can be considered beach apparel," she said to him skeptically. "Although, I do appreciate you not wearing your suit." She herself was dressed in a modest red swimsuit and brown cover-up over it, similar in colours to her normal clothes.

The man hid his face behind his designer sunglasses. "I have no intention of making a spectacle of myself in the water, Ms. Skye. I'll merely be sitting here until I'm permitted to leave." With that, he pulled out a large chapter book from his bag and began reading in silence.

"Very well, Miles, I suppose I'll go and brave it myself," Lana said, and ventured down to the water.

The somber prosecutor had managed to avoid conversations with most of his office mates so far, and it soon occurred to him that it was getting rather hot. He set his book down and peeked out from under his umbrella.

The sun does seem to be intensifying, he thought to himself. Suddenly, he heard a voice call out to him, and his blood froze.

"Edgeeyyy!" it sang, and before long the figure of Larry Butz was standing there before him. From what he could gather, Phoenix Wright and Maya were not far behind. Miles facepalmed.

"What are you doing here?" he muttered when the attorney and his assistant finally reached them, the former panting heavily after the walk.

"What, Edgeworth, is this a private beach?" Phoenix smirked at him. "It's a hot day, and Larry convinced us to take a trip to the beach." As if on cue, Maya slapped Phoenix on the back and bolted down to the water.

"Last one in's a rotten egg, Niiiiiick!" she screeched. Phoenix gave Edgeworth a sheepish smile as he scratched the back of his head.

"I guess we'll leave you to your reading, then. See ya, Edgeworth," he said, dragging Larry along as he hurried after Maya. The prosecutor had already returned to his novel, but gave a small nod in response.

The man had finally returned to his solitude, and he felt almost at peace. Not for long, however. Someone or something out there had it out for Miles; it was probably von Karma.

"Worthy, my boy! Why aren't you swimming?" Miles braced himself as he felt Chief Gant clap him loudly on the shoulder, his sopping wet hand ruining Miles' burgundy shirt.

"Ah, sir, I'm afraid I find myself lacking proper swim attire. Unfortunately, I've been sitting here for a majority of the day," he said rather sarcastically, not looking up from the pages of his book.

"Nonsense, Worthy, you should have just told me! I'll have this problem remedied in no time!" Before Edgeworth had a chance to object, there was a pair of swim trunks thrown into his face, and Gant was ushering him toward the changing room.

"I always keep a spare pair with me, Worthy, for this exact reason. Now go on and change! I'll be right here."

"Really, sir, I, uh…" Gant's stare was so fierce that not even Edgeworth could best it, and so, defeated, he was forced to change into the cursed swimsuit.

"Excellent, Worthy! Really great!" Gant applauded. Edgeworth put his clothes into his bag and scowled as Gant pushed him down to the water.

"Hey, Mr. Edgeworth, sir!—"

"One more word, Gumshoe, and you can consider next month's salary nonexistent," Edgeworth glared.

For someone who wasn't very athletic, Miles was quite toned, and all the female officers that turned to stare just made the whole situation vastly more uncomfortable. (Whether he wanted to admit it or not, he really did inspire that sort of frothing desire in the female masses.)

Once he was waist-deep in the water, he refused to go any further. Gant eventually gave up and returned to his own swimming escapades. When it appeared safe enough, Miles began to make his way back to dry land, but not before he was interrupted by his childhood "friends".

"Whoa, Larry, put it down! That's dangerous!" Phoenix cried as he chased after his friend, but Larry continued running in Edgeworth's direction. Miles squinted to see what Larry was holding, but only saw a stick.

Before Edgeworth could utter a cynical and witty comment about his friend, Larry crashed directly into him, both of them toppling to the ground, and the slimy entity Larry had been carrying on his stick fell onto Edgeworth.

Fear struck Larry suddenly when he realized what he had done. "Sorry, Edgey! I'm really sorry—"

"Arrgh!" Miles cut him off. There was a jellyfish wrapped menacingly around his calf and foot. He tried to pull it off, but it stung his fingers.

A group of people soon surrounded him, and he heard Lana among them: "That doesn't look good, Miles. We'll need to get you to a doctor." He said nothing, thoroughly peeved at how the day was turning out. His mentor came over to assist him in standing, but she and the rest of the crowd were shoved away by an individual.

"Out of the way, everyone! I know what to do!" Miles seethed when he saw Larry returning to the scene, a determined look in his eye.

"I saw this on Man Vs. Wild!" he shouted. There was a universal gasp, and without further ado he lowered his swim trunks and proceeded to urinate on Miles' leg.

"Larry! What the hell do you think you're doing!" Miles hollered.

"Relax, Edgey. This'll fix that burn right up!" Poor Edgeworth groaned, more out of anger and humiliation than out of pain. When he saw Larry wink at a female detective, he forced himself into a standing position and smacked Larry right across the face. Lana then helped steady Miles as a group went to fetch medical assistance.

…

It had been a disturbing day for Miles, more so than usual, and he was finally home. The poor man was sitting in the fetal position on the floor of his shower, fully-clothed (a vulnerable situation that most fangirls would be eager to share with him), allowing the water to fall on and around him. His recently bandaged leg was hanging out of the shower stall, and every time he looked at it he felt the bile rise in his throat. He hadn't even been able to touch his own limb since Larry had violated him in such a way that afternoon, and it still made him sick to think about. He wrapped his arms tighter around his knee, shuddering violently.

"Oh, God," he mumbled to himself. "I shall never feel clean again."

Oh Miles, how I love you. I only torment him out of adoration, I promise. So, thoughts? Suggestions? Any idea as to what Edgeworth was reading? Tell me, I want to know! Remember, I'm like a robot and subscriptions and reviews are my batteries. Without them, I die. :3