Here's Chapter 2! Large but informative blocks of text await you. Italicized text indicates telepathic speech…or loud yelling. It's easy to tell the difference.
Enjoy!
Chapter 2: Smasher Shenanigans
In the end, Kirby was able to cook up a fresh pot of soup in time for dinner. Toon Link still felt a little bad for destroying the first pot along with the soup, but he decided against apologizing after having been told to stop apologizing by Kirby, Pit, and—a little embarrassingly—himself.
The cartoon Hylian thought it was very strange to live in the same building as his counterpart—just one of his counterparts, rather. It felt like one of them was living in the wrong era. Perhaps both of them were in the wrong era. Then again, all the Smashers came from such a wide range of times that it probably didn't matter all that much.
Link, the Hero of Twilight, came from a world that was the same as Toon Link's…but also vastly different. He was from an alternate dimension, one that had appeared as a result of the actions of the two Links' ancestor, the Hero of Time, from some centuries ago. From what Toon Link had heard, three timelines followed the Era of the Hero of Time, and at the moment, he was still too confused to acknowledge that all three timelines had really occurred and were likely still happening.
"It's just so weird," he was now saying to Link as they and all the other residents of the Smash Mansion walked into the cafeteria. With a pout, he exclaimed, "And it's crazy! Why did the Hero of Time have to go ahead and create three timelines?"
Link just smiled and patted his head. "They're just alternate realities, Toon—nothing more than that," he replied. "No need to go crazy by thinking about it. Some things are simply better when left unanswered. Come on, let's eat." He then went to pick up a plate and help himself to the food.
All meals at the Smash Mansion were served buffet-style in its large cafeteria. The residents would walk around the buffet tables and take whatever they wanted before sitting down at one of the dining tables. There was nothing wrong with leaving the cafeteria to eat, but everybody chose to convene in the cafeteria anyway, regardless of which meal it was for.
Master Hand always encouraged the residents to mingle, so that was what they did. Anthropomorphic animals chattered with Pokémon, humans from medieval and magical worlds sat next to humans from futuristic and more technologically advanced worlds, robots laughed with the people and creatures from the Mushroom Kingdom, and so on. Everyone learned more about their peers through their mealtime conversations, as well as several interesting facts and stories about the various worlds that they had come from. Those who knew their way around modern-day technology helped the more archaic residents become familiar with computers and other machinery; in return, the latter aided the former in becoming comfortable around magic and otherworldly creatures like fairies. The Pokémon Smashers had lots of fun introducing their new friends to the multitude of Pokémon, both ordinary and Legendary, that Master Hand had recruited to help in Brawls. Surprisingly enough, the Smasher called Solid Snake, who came from what he claimed to be a fairly ordinary world inhabited by mostly ordinary humans, already recognized several Pokémon and had no trouble getting to know the rest. He explained that in his world, there existed a Pokémon video game series that a close friend of his was very fond of. The other Smashers wondered how video games about the Smash Mansion residents themselves could exist in Snake's world when they didn't in their worlds. Snake never bothered to say anything about this, and when some curious Smashers went to ask Master Hand, the hand disregarded their concerns with a nonchalant wave and told them to continue doing whatever they had been doing prior to barging into his office.
The Smash World was an amalgam of many universes. Creatures from all over lived and did business here, while many others came as tourists. Cities in the Smash World appeared to be modeled after those in other worlds—for example, Smashville looked much like Animal Crossing, the most famous town in the Wild World (1), while a neighboring location called Bluespring (2) looked similar to Treasure Town, a quaint little place located in one Pokémon world unofficially called the Mystery Dungeon World (3).
"There are worlds within your world?" exclaimed Tails the Fox. The young, two-tailed fox had always been very fascinated by the mysteries of the universes and was eager to know more.
Red nodded eagerly. "Yeah! It's pretty interesting. Certain locations in my world are closely connected to alternate dimensions. I think it's because the separating force between my world and those worlds is a little weaker in those places, allowing some passage. Usually, though, entering those places requires certain items or Pokémon…but most of the time, all you need is the willingness to learn…and lots and lots and lots of patience. Your efforts will usually pay off, and you'll gain entry to those mysterious worlds."
Sonic the Hedgehog looked completely lost. Tails, however, was listening intently…
"Those alternate dimensions… Do they exist because of certain Pokémon? What I'm saying is…were they created to give certain Pokémon homes that are unique to themselves? And are they inhabited by those Pokémon?"
…and he actually understood everything.
"I think so," said the Pokémon Trainer. "Let's talk about a Legendary Pokémon called Dialga. Dialga lives in his own dimension and can supposedly travel from his place to my world whenever he wants to. And there's a place in my world called Mt. Coronet, which is the tallest mountain in its region. Its peak is connected to a dimension known as the Distortion World. The Distortion World is basically a reflection of the real world and is home to a Legendary Pokémon called Giratina. But you wanna know something funny? Jigglypuff knows about Mt. Coronet, but…"
Jigglypuff heard someone mention her name and turned to look at Red and Tails. "Oh, yeah!" she said. "Mt. Coronet, right? That place is legendary!"
"Here's the thing: Jigglypuff is from another Pokémon world," Red told a surprised Tails. "And yet she knows about Mt. Coronet. Any guesses why?"
Sonic still had a blank look on his face. Tails' blue eyes suddenly lit up and he said, "There aren't just worlds within your world… There's a completely different world of Pokémon?!"
"That's right! I come from a world with humans and Pokémon. It's called Earth. Jigglypuff's from another world with humans and Pokémon that is also called Earth, but it's different from the first one. And there are worlds within that world… And I'm pretty sure there's a third world with humans and Pokémon (4). Then there's this other world I've heard of that is populated only by Pokémon—no humans at all—known as the Mystery Dungeon World because it has these things called mystery dungeons. Together, all those worlds are part of the Pokémon universe."
"That sounds a lot like my universe!" said Tails excitedly. "There are multiple worlds there, too. And my world is called Earth, too! You know, one time, Sonic and I were flying in my plane when—"
He was interrupted by Knuckles the Echidna, who smacked the table with his enormous fists. "Stop talking already!" he snapped impatiently. "I'm trying to concentrate!"
"Concentrate on what?" asked Pikachu. "Your dinner?"
"Exactly!"
"Try concentrating just a little more," Sonic suggested, glad that Knuckles had changed the topic. "Gotta watch that diet of yours, right?"
Several people chuckled at the remark, while some others cried out in fright when Knuckles tried to smack the hedgehog.
At another table, Mario and Falco were bragging about their various heroics.
"…and I'll have-a you know," the red-clad plumber was now saying, "that I've-a successfully rescued-a Peach from the clutches of evil no less than twenty times-a!"
"Huh," said Falco with a snort. "Seems to me like you just gotta keep a better eye on your girl!"
The other Smash Mansion residents at the table—Fox, Lucario, Snake, Little Mac (5), and Lyn—burst into a round of loud laughter. Mario's face turned as red as his clothes as he glanced away in embarrassment.
"Listen to this, bud," Falco then said, leaning over the table and shoving his beak into Mario's face. "I've saved way more than just one princess. I've saved entire planets, so that means I've saved billions of people." He paused for a moment before adding as an afterthought, "And this isn't really related, but I've obliterated a whole species of alien parasites, too."
Fox punched him.
"Okay, fine," groaned the avian Smasher as he threw his hands into the air. "Maybe I got just a little bit of help with saving entire planets and obliterating a whole species of alien parasites."
Fox punched him again.
"Jeez, Fox, lay off already, will ya?! I already have bruises from when you kicked me off the balcony!"
"Watch your heads," Lucario suddenly announced, sensing a rapidly approaching aura.
Everybody at the table ducked to dodge a giant left hand that harmlessly flew over them and slammed into Bowser. The Koopa king roared angrily and Crazy Hand squealed in pain when he landed on the Smasher's spiky shell instead of his face, as he had intended. Bowser thrashed around and threw Crazy Hand onto the ground like a professional wrestler before preparing to barbecue him with a Fire Breath. Lyn shouted, "Oh, no, you won't!" and dived at Bowser. Then Lucas came out of nowhere (6) and helped Lyn restrain the furious Koopa and prevent him from setting Crazy Hand—and possibly the entire cafeteria or more—on fire. The psychic boy and the swordswoman managed to drag Bowser away from Crazy Hand and out of the cafeteria without wrecking anything. The Smash Mansion residents who noticed the whole ordeal looked at each other, chuckled nervously, and resumed eating.
"Dang, Lucario," said Little Mac through a mouthful of steak. "Were you really able to see Crazy Hand coming at us?"
Snake smirked and rapped a knuckle against Lucario's forehead. "He's a magical, blue-furred, two-legged jackal thing with psychic powers who can shoot blue fireballs out of his paws. It goes without saying that he saw him coming."
"Oh, come on," said Lucario with a short laugh. "It's just a special ability that I have. I can sense auras. And I don't think I really have any magical or psychic powers."
"You said you could use telepathy, right? I'm sure that's a psychic thing."
"Well, if you say so…"
Meanwhile, R.O.B. and Mr. Game & Watch had gone over to Crazy Hand and were currently berating him for possibly nearly destroying something—again. Deep down, both Smashers knew that words usually had absolutely no effect on the abnormally crazy left hand…unless it was Master Hand who was saying those words. However, the master of the Smash Mansion was probably still working in his office because he was nowhere to be seen. So they continued to shout at him.
"You might have hurt someone, too!" said R.O.B.
"I know!" replied Crazy Hand.
"Or even killed someone," said Mr. Game & Watch darkly.
"I know!" replied Crazy Hand.
"And wrecked something for the second time today!" R.O.B. then added.
"I know!" replied Crazy Hand.
"That wouldn't make Master Hand very happy," Mr. Game & Watch remarked.
"I know!" replied Crazy Hand.
"Too true," said R.O.B. with a nod. "Every day, there's something for him to fix. He must be tired of it."
"I know!" replied Crazy Hand.
"I'll bet you anything that Master Hand's been sick of repairing stuff since day one of life in the Smash Mansion," Mr. Game & Watch said.
"I know!" replied Crazy Hand.
R.O.B. and Mr. Game & Watch glowered at the hand. Simultaneously, they fried him with a fully charged Robo Beam and a Judge 6. Crazy Hand yelled something rude and zipped away…and flew through the wall.
"…Well," said R.O.B. after he and Mr. Game & Watch took a few moments to stare at the Crazy Hand-shaped hole in the wall. "I guess Master Hand does have a second thing to fix today."
"At least it wasn't our fault," said his two-dimensional friend optimistically. "But still, I think we should get out of here before Master Hand finds out about it."
At a nearby table, Kirby began to choke on his eighth pie.
"Hey, Kirby?" asked Ness, concerned. "You all right?"
The pink puffball did not respond. Then smoke started leaking out from his mouth.
King Dedede, who was sitting across from Kirby, turned to Peach and grinned. "You didn't happen to put some super spicy curry in that pie, did you?" he asked pleasantly.
"Oh, no, I didn't use any curry at all!" replied the princess with a cheerful and innocent smile. "However, I might have accidentally added twenty red-hot chili peppers to its filling!"
Kirby's eyes widened in horror and shock. He immediately flew out of his seat and dashed into the kitchen. Everyone in the cafeteria could hear the audible splash of Kirby leaping into his pot of soup—which, luckily for him, was still half full.
And at a buffet table full of desserts, Meta Knight felt very pleased to see that Kirby hadn't eaten all the pies yet…for even the most solemn and mature knights couldn't resist Princess Peach's delicious apple pie.
-ooo-
After dinner, the residents of the Smash Mansion spent the rest of the evening doing whatever activities they wished to do.
Fox and Falco went out in their Arwings to fly around Smashville and its neighboring cities.
Sonic jogged around the mansion with an Assist Trophy character and fellow super-fast hedgehog named Shadow; the two hedgehogs were fierce rivals, so it wasn't unusual to hear them insulting each other as they ran. Sometimes, Tails or Knuckles would go with them, but tonight they said they were nearly finished with Sonic Unleashed and wanted to beat the game by bedtime.
Link and Pit went back to the sparring area in the courtyard to have another duel. This time, Ike and Marth accompanied them. Toon Link and Samus Aran went to the shooting area for target practice.
Lucario and Snake disappeared into the latter's room to have a chat. They seemed to do that a lot.
As for Olimar, he went to the courtyard to check on the Pikmin garden. Being the only person in the Smash Mansion who had anything to do with the plant-like creatures called Pikmin, he felt that inspecting the Pikmin garden every day was his responsibility. Olimar and the Pikmin had somewhat of a symbiotic relationship—the little astronaut would take care of the Pikmin, and the Pikmin would help him with his daily tasks, which ranged from cleaning up his room to fighting in Brawls. All of Olimar's special moves in Brawls involved at least one Pikmin, in fact.
Pikmin were extremely fragile creatures. Just a little too much force could kill them and turn them into tiny spirits that emitted mournful cries as they rose into the air and faded away. Ever since the day Olimar landed on the strange planet inhabited by those half-plant, half-animal creatures, he had seen a good number of Pikmin die right before his eyes. It greatly saddened him.
Now the small astronaut was crouching before a red-colored stem that was tipped with a small white flower—chaenostoma cordatum, the ornamental bacopa (7). Olimar smiled and tugged at the stem, freeing a Red Pikmin from the dirt.
"Hello," he said.
The Red Pikmin made a sound like something between the squeak of a mouse and the coo of a pigeon.
"Yes, yes, it's a very lovely evening," the Smasher said, pretending to be able to understand what the Pikmin just said. "The weather here is wonderful, right? Come on, let's go to my room and meet the other Pikmin."
The Pikmin chirped happily and followed Olimar back into the mansion. Once they were out of sight, three heads popped out of a nearby bush.
"Cool," murmured Wolf O'Donnell. "He's gone."
"Are you sure about this, Wolf?" asked Ness a little worriedly. "If we get caught, Olimar's gonna be really mad…"
"And worse, Master Hand is going to know about it!" whispered Lucas, panicking.
Wolf laughed nonchalantly. "Pshhhh…! What's that old hand gonna do to us, kid—throw us into a lake or something?" He crawled out of the bush. "C'mon, let's do this."
Ness and Lucas looked at each other, and then they nervously followed Wolf into the open. The lupine Smasher went straight for the Pikmin garden, where several colored stems could be seen. The tiny stems were red, yellow, blue, purple, or white and had leaves, buds, or flowers on the tips. Wolf cackled mischievously and wrapped his hands around a yellow stem with a bright green leaf.
"Wolf, Olimar checks the garden every day," said Ness. "He'll definitely notice a missing Pikmin…"
The lupine waved off his concern. "Nah, I doubt it. These things aren't planted in any kind of pattern. And what harm will it do if I took just one?" He pulled at the stem. "Stubborn thing… How does Olimar do it…?"
Ness rolled his eyes and left Wolf to his business. "Hey," he said to Lucas, tapping him on the shoulder. "Where was Master Hand during dinner? I never saw him in the cafeteria. He usually has announcements for us during that time."
"Maybe he was just so busy that he couldn't come down to the cafeteria," Lucas suggested sensibly.
"Or maybe he wasn't busy at all," Ness then exclaimed with a silly grin, "and was sleeping in his office! And then he slept right through dinner!"
"Or maybe he was dealing with Crazy Hand," said Wolf as he continued to tug at the yellow-colored stem. "That idiot demolished a wall for the second time today—"
"Or maybe," said a soft, telepathic voice, "he is waiting for you to explain what you are planning to do with one of Captain Olimar's Yellow Pikmin."
Ness and Lucas screamed in fear, while Wolf's tail fluffed up like a cat's. At that moment, the yellow stem in Wolf's hands jiggled, and the Yellow Pikmin revealed the rest of its body. Chirping angrily, it let out a small blast of electricity that surged through Wolf's body and made his fur stand on end. During the few seconds that he was paralyzed, the Yellow Pikmin hopped away from him and scattered off. The lupine quickly regained mobility and instantly realized how much trouble he was in when he saw the being who had spoken to him, Ness, and Lucas.
Hovering right behind the three Smashers was Master Hand. As his name suggested, he was a large, pure white hand. He was the master of the Smash Mansion, but it was rumored that he was also the master of the entire Smash World itself. The fact that he had no face or facial structures that could give away his current mood only made him appear to be more intimidating than he already was.
"Come here, please," said Master Hand.
Immediately, Ness and Lucas approached him. Wolf blinked several times and stayed where he was, and then he cautiously went to the hand and stood before him. The moment he did, Master Hand's telepathic and normally level voice gained a cutting edge. "What," he said sternly, "were you planning to do with the Pikmin?"
Ness and Lucas said nothing. Wolf remained tight-lipped and shifted his single organic eye (8) away from the hand.
"Oh, come now!" said Master Hand impatiently. "I do not have all day. Speak!"
At long last, Lucas mumbled, "…We…Diddy…bother…"
"I beg your pardon?"
In one breath, Ness said, "We wanted to play a trick on Diddy Kong and Wolf suggested using some Pikmin to bother him, so we waited until Olimar was gone to borrow one of his Pikmin without asking him first, so I guess that would be considered stealing, but we were going to return it afterward, but…"
Wolf shot a glare at the red-capped boy, who fell silent and just helplessly looked back. Lucas was standing as still as a statue. Master Hand remained in place for a few tense moments. If he had eyes, he'd be staring at the three Smashers.
"…I see," he said slowly.
All of a sudden, a stream of words flooded out of Lucas' mouth. "We didn't mean to—it was just a joke—no Pikmin were harmed—we were really bored—we're really sorry—what's our punishment—"
"Lucas!" barked Wolf sharply, making the blond-haired boy seize up. "Shut up!"
Master Hand looked at the Pikmin garden. "Olimar would be absolutely enraged had he seen you before I did," he said, sounding forcefully placid. "Consider yourselves fortunate. I shall pretend that nothing had been seen. I suggest that you three locate that Yellow Pikmin before Olimar notices anything."
"You're… You're letting us go?" asked Ness somewhat incredulously.
"As I said, I shall pretend that nothing had been seen. Leave now before my patience wears thin."
"Wait, but—"
Wolf quickly scooped up Ness and Lucas under each arm and smiled sheepishly. "Heard you, sir. Have a good evening, sir!" With his tail between his legs, he scuttled away in a manner not unlike the Yellow Pikmin had a few minutes ago…and crashed right into something huge and hairy. Stars danced before his eyes as he groggily stumbled backward to see what he had run into.
"Hello," rumbled Donkey Kong.
Wolf whimpered like a frightened puppy and dropped Ness and Lucas onto the ground as he stepped away from the huge Smasher. Ness trembled at the sight of the massive, necktie-wearing gorilla, while Lucas' face turned white.
"Heard ya talking about playing a prank on Diddy Kong that involved a Pikmin," continued Donkey Kong, folding his thick, muscle-bound arms. "Were you really gonna do that?"
"Y-y…yessir," squeaked Ness.
The gorilla let out a snort through his nose. "Really? Huh. Look here." He bent down and put his face just inches away from the three Smashers'. "No one messes with my nephew," he said, his tone steely. "You got that?"
"…H-hey, there, dude," said Wolf with a weak smile, "it was just a little prank. We, uh, never intended to cause any harm or whatever. Isn't that right, Ness, Lucas?" Without waiting for either boy to answer, he went on, "Let this go just this once, all right?" Then he remembered something, and he held up a hand. "But wait. Honestly…Diddy deserves it."
Donkey Kong's brow twitched.
"You know when we were in Subspace (9)?" asked Wolf. "You wanna know what he did? He pushed me into the path of a R.O.B. Launcher." He looked disgusted. "A Launcher! Do you not know how painful that Launcher's missiles were? I mean—"
"…Giant… "
Ness and Lucas frantically motioned at Wolf to make him stop talking, but he didn't see them and continued to complain.
"It was the worst pain I'd felt since my last major battle with Fox and his friends! That freakin' missile exploded right in my face! And then I had to fight that Launcher alone because Diddy was too busy laughing at the sight of me suffering from the missile bl—"
"—PUNCH!"
Ness, Lucas, and Wolf were sent soaring into the air by Donkey Kong's powerful punch. Their screams slowly faded as they gradually disappeared into the sky in the style of Team Rocket in the Pokémon anime.
"…Uh…"
Donkey Kong turned to see a monkey wearing a red Nintendo cap staring worriedly at the darkening sky. "…Did you just punch them in the direction of…you know…that lake?" asked Diddy Kong anxiously.
Donkey Kong simply patted his nephew's head gently as he answered, "Honestly…they deserved it."
-ooo-
Solid Snake's room was probably the plainest of all the Smash Mansion residents' rooms. The walls and ceiling were painted a dreary shade of gray. A wooden dresser was positioned next to a bed with neatly made, white covers. A single photograph, worn with age and faded at the edges, was taped to the wall beside the bed. Next to the door, which had an orange fox with jagged legs painted on it—the logo of a CIA covert operations group called the FOX Unit—were several cardboard boxes, the largest of which was placed bottom side up and had a Smash Ball, an exclamation point, and the words Smash Bros. printed on its sides in red ink. Lucario was sitting cross-legged on this box, while Snake himself lay on his bed with his hands placed behind his head and his navy blue bandana covering his eyes.
"…Snake," Lucario said suddenly.
"Yeah?" the mercenary asked without changing his position at all.
"Your bandana… Is that an infinity symbol? And something in another language?"
Snake lifted the bandana from his eyes and glanced at its frayed ends. Embroidered on one end was a tiny infinity symbol that camouflaged almost perfectly with the dark cloth. The other end had two Japanese characters—"無限." With a small smile, he remarked, "Well, you're sharp." Lucario's uncanny sense of perception never ceased to impress him. "When these two characters are put together, they mean infinite. The characters and the infinity symbol aren't just fancy things that someone decided to sew onto the cloth, though. As ridiculous as this sounds…they actually give me infinite ammo (10)."
The Pokémon at the other end of the room chuckled. "Unlimited ammunition, huh? I bet that explains how you were able to throw so many grenades at Wario during your Brawl last week. Do you have another one that you'd like to…you know…donate to a certain Pokémon?"
Snake laughed. "Why would you need infinite ammo? You can shoot a billion energy balls out of your paws."
"On the contrary, my energy is limited," said Lucario as a thin layer of blue-colored aura surrounded his paws. "It would be really nice to have infinite energy as well as ammo…"
"Right." The mercenary ran his fingers along the length of the long strip of cloth. Memories he cherished and memories he wished to forget flowed through his mind. His voice remained quiet. "…You know…this is my favorite bandana." His eyes shifted to the photograph on the wall. "Got it some years ago. I try my best not to lose it."
"I'm assuming it was a gift from one of the people in that photo," said the Aura Pokémon.
Snake's blue eyes remained on the frozen figure of a woman with a shock of red hair. She was flanked on either side by two men, one of whom was Snake himself, albeit younger, clean-shaven, and with an unlit cigarette in his mouth. The other man was a nerdy-looking guy with glasses and unkempt grayish-brown hair; in contrast to the red-haired woman's black tank top and orange vest, he was wearing a thick white coat over a gray sweater. Snake and the other man looked confused but happy, while the woman was beaming broadly and flashing a "V for victory" sign at the camera.
"When did you get that picture taken? I'd always wanted to know," said Lucario. He was especially talkative today.
"This was…a while ago. Ten years, maybe. Got it taken right after a mission. It was also Meryl's first real mission, and she wanted to preserve that memory." Snake vaguely gestured toward the photograph; his eyes never left the woman. "So that's how the photo came to be."
Meryl. Lucario had heard the mercenary say that name several times before, mostly in his sleep. It hadn't taken him long to discover that Snake tended to say the name much more while having nightmares. Whenever he had a nightmare, Lucario had one, too. He was extremely sensitive to other people's thoughts—Snake's in particular, for some reason. And oftentimes, he desperately wished he wasn't.
A terrified woman held a gun to the side of her hand, and an emaciated figure behind her taunted her and threatened to force her to pull the trigger—
The same woman, her blood now staining the snow that had previously been spotless and clean and white, lay helpless on the ground at the mercy of a hidden sniper—
Crackles of electricity mixed with howls of excruciating pain that rang through the air and continued to go unheard—
Crazed laughter accompanied machine gun fire and a roaring helicopter rotor to form a cacophonous symphony of death—
A man who was more dead than alive was crushed by something that seemed to be both beast and machine, and there was a horrifying scream—
Somebody bellowed, "SNAAAAAKE!" and somebody else responded with a furious cry of—
Lucario shuddered and pushed the visions out of his head. Fortunately, Snake hadn't noticed anything…or perhaps he was just pretending to have not noticed anything. For a human, he was unusually observant.
The Aura Pokémon opened his mouth. "Hey—"
But he immediately found himself unable to continue. Snake turned away from the photograph and gave him a questioning look. "What?" he asked.
Lucario shook his head rapidly. "No—I—uh—never mind! It's nothing."
Snake looked a little puzzled, but he just shrugged and put his bandana over his eyes again.
Lucario folded his arms and slightly readjusted his position on the cardboard box he was sitting on. He sighed quietly. He liked to have conversations with Snake; the man was much more patient than most of the other Smashers and always did his best to answer his many questions. "That woman—do you love her?" was what he had tried to ask. But he couldn't finish the question because he had no idea what love was, for its meaning had suddenly slipped his mind.
-ooo-
There was a Pokémon whose name was Mew, the New Species Pokémon. This pink-furred, feline, Psychic-type Pokémon was a Legendary Pokémon who was said to be the mother of all Pokémon. She was so elusive that many people actually doubted her existence, and so she was also known as a Mythical Pokémon (11). Very few people managed to catch the slightest glimpse of her, and those who did considered this event to be an incredible privilege. Since Mew was so mysterious, countless people sought to catch her. But she always had some tricks up her sleeve and had never failed in getting away and leaving no traces behind, which was why many people didn't believe she was real.
Everyone in the Smash Mansion, however, knew for a fact that Mew was very real. A few days after the completed construction of the Smash Mansion, the New Species Pokémon appeared out of thin air in the foyer of the mansion and proclaimed that, from that day forward, the mansion was one of her new homes. Naturally, several of the mansion's actual occupants weren't too pleased by Mew's unexpected freeloading, but she was a pretty powerful Pokémon despite her petite size and adorable appearance, so they didn't bother to kick her out. Mew didn't spend every single day at the Smash Mansion, being a Legendary Pokémon with duties that only a Legend could do and all that whatnot, but whenever she was present, things at the mansion became…quite hectic.
And the hectic atmosphere usually increased by about ten times or so on the days when Mew found the mansion's sugar supply.
Mew was hopelessly addicted to sugar. Whenever she paid a visit to the Smashers, she tried to raid the mansion's supply of sweets. And whenever she was successful with this, she always ate as much as she could before flying away to Arceus knows where. Unfortunately, these sugar binges were always subsequently followed by long-lasting sugar highs, which led to a sharp increase in the Smash Mansion's already hectic environment.
Princess Peach supervised the kitchen and therefore was also in charge of regularly checking and updating a log of all the food supplies. She discovered Mew's affinity for sweet things when about half of the sugar supply inexplicably vanished on the very first day of the Legendary Pokémon's forced residency. She did her best to protect all the sugar and sweet foods from Mew, hiding the supplies in strange places or asking some people to guard it, but—as mentioned before—Mew always had some tricks up her sleeve.
Today happened to be another of those days when Mew found the sugar…
"Come oooooon!"
The Legendary Pokémon jumped up and down on Pikachu's head and flew around him in rapid circles. Pikachu was trying to relax on the bean bag couch in the living room, but it was apparent that Mew wasn't about to let him do that. "Come on!" she said again with a giggle. "Let's do it! Come on! Come on! Come on! Comeoncomeoncomeoncomeoncomeon!"
Pikachu put his face in his paws.
"This is super important!" exclaimed Mew. She was talking very fast, making her speech a little hard to understand. "This is supersupersupersuper important, okay?! You're gonna help me prove to Darkrai that I can take a Skull Bash head-on without saying 'EEYAH'! Comeoncomeoncomeon!"
"Oh, no," groaned Jigglypuff with dismay. "She found the sugar again! I thought Peach was able to hide it really well this time."
"HAHAHA!" Mew laughed. "That's never going to happen! I can find all of your sugar and candy with my eyes closed! No matter where you hide it, I will find it, I will take it, and I will eat it all! MWAHAHAHAHA!"
Jigglypuff rolled her eyes. "Oh, great. Now she's acting evil!"
Mew flew up and did figure eights near the ceiling. Several times, she came close to hitting her head on something like a bookshelf or a tall lamp. Each time she giggled, Jigglypuff quietly exhaled and silently cursed the New Species Pokémon's extreme case of sugar addiction. Pikachu still had his paws placed over his face. Then there was a flash of purplish light, and Mewtwo, the Genetic Pokémon, appeared out of it. He heard some childish laughter above him and looked up to see Mew, who was now floating upside down, and he immediately knew what was going on.
"…Oh" was all he said.
"I know, right?" agreed Jigglypuff with a sigh.
At that moment, the two Pokémon noticed that Mew's shadow didn't seem to be following her. Then something completely detached from her real shadow and grew larger and larger…and a menacing-looking Pokémon with long white hair, a black-colored body, and cyan eyes popped out of the ceiling. Jigglypuff yelped, Mewtwo chuckled, Pikachu continued to cover his face with his paws, and Mew just laughed some more before playfully bopping Darkrai, the Pitch-Black Pokémon, on the head with the ovoid tip of her tail.
"Hi, Darkrai! Hi! Hi! Hihihi!" she said. "Ready to watch me get Skull Bashed by Pikachu?!"
Mewtwo shook his head in disbelief. "I can't believe I was cloned from her…"
Darkrai emerged from the ceiling and turned right side up, hovering at the same level as Mew. "Am I ready?" he repeated amicably. "I certainly am. But are you ready?"
Mew didn't answer and instead giggled again. Darkrai sighed through his hidden (or perhaps nonexistent?) mouth and landed beside Mewtwo. "Before you start asking any questions," he said, "I never intended to watch Mew actually get Skull Bashed. I just casually mentioned that she couldn't withstand any of the Smashers' attacks…"
Mewtwo gave him an exasperated look. "…You said what now?"
After Mew started freeloading from the residents of the Smash Mansion, some other Legendary Pokémon began to do the same and marked several places in and around Smashville as their territories. Celebi, the Time Travel Pokémon, roamed certain parts of the Fellwood (2), which was a large forest that lay just beyond the Smash Mansion. Moltres, the Flame Pokémon, and Ho-Oh, the Rainbow Pokémon, occasionally spent some time on the peak of a nearby mountain called Mt. Amethyst (2). Rayquaza, the Sky-High Pokémon—the same ill-tempered one that had attacked Fox McCloud and Diddy Kong near the start of their Subspace adventure—took up residence in one of the lakes within the Fellwood and could be found there when he wasn't flying around in the Smash World's stratosphere. A few Legends even started living in the Smash Mansion—the Genetic Pokémon Mewtwo, the Pitch-Black Pokémon Darkrai, and the Lunar Pokémon Cresselia could be considered Smash Mansion residents, in fact. Mewtwo, who was one of the most powerful Pokémon in the world as well as the closest thing to Mew herself, came to escape the droves of Pokémon Trainers who wanted to capture him. Darkrai chose to live at the mansion almost full-time so he could avoid people who believed he was a malevolent being who deliberately plagued those around him with nightmares; in reality, he had no control over his nightmare-inducing ability, which was actually just a defense mechanism. Cresselia said she followed Darkrai to counter his powers with her ability to banish bad dreams, as well as contribute to the Smashers' Brawls, but Darkrai strongly suspected that she only came to stalk him and stop him from doing anything she thought was stupid. But when it turned out that she was needed for one of the Brawl stages (12), Darkrai went a little easier on her, though he still felt uncomfortable in her presence.
"I said Mew couldn't—"
"No, no, no, don't tell me again. I think I already know." Mewtwo looked up again. "…I think I should get Mew down here so we can get this whole thing over with."
Jigglypuff's large eyes widened even more. "Wait, you're actually going to tell Mew to sit there and get a Skull Bash to the face by Pikachu?"
"If that's the only way to get rid of a Legendary Pokémon who is currently high on sugar," said Mewtwo very seriously, "then so be it." He raised his right hand, which was glowing with purple-colored power, and psychically brought Mew to the ground. The New Species Pokémon was still laughing and saying random things like, "You know what? I do like cheesy love songs about teardrop-covered guitars (13)."
Pikachu finally uncovered his face. He was smiling wryly and looked more than just a little annoyed. "…So…who's ready for some Skull Bashing?"
"MEEEEEE!" screeched Mew, dancing in midair. "Let's do it! Let's do it! Let's do it! Let's do it! Let's d—"
"SHUT UP AND SIT DOWN!" the Mouse Pokémon exploded, finally unable to hold in his frustration any longer. "If you're asking for a Skull Bash, then a Skull Bash is what she's gonna get! C'mon, you pink furball! Brace yourself!"
Mew cheered and positioned herself about ten feet before the Mouse Pokémon, who was pawing at the living room's carpet with his feet. Then he went on all fours and flew forward, spinning rapidly through the air.
"Skullllll BASH!"
The Smasher slammed into Mew headfirst and launched her through the doorway. The New Species Pokémon squealed loudly as she zoomed right through several walls…
"EEYYAHHHH…!"
…and she eventually ended up outside and high in the sky, where she disappeared into the night.
Pikachu nervously peered through the hole in the closest wall. He was able to see the sky, which worried him a little. "…Uhhhh…" he said slowly, "just saying this, but we should avoid bothering Master Hand and instead fix this ourselves." Then he asserted, "And if Master Hand comes down to investigate, I'll say it's Mew's fault."
Mewtwo poked at Darkrai. "Technically, it was this guy's fault because he got Mew to get Pikachu to use Skull Bash on her, even if it was done inadvertently."
The Pitch-Black Pokémon glared at him, his eyes glowing icily. "Well, look, smart one. All I wanted to do was kick Mew out of the mansion for a few days or so to give all of us some peace. You should be thanking me now." He then looked up at the sky. "And it seems like Mew is unable to take a Skull Bash head-on without saying 'eeyah'…"
Jigglypuff told them all to shut up and start patching up the walls.
-ooo-
"…Popo…what happened to our door?"
Nana and her brother stared at their door, which lay pitifully on the ground. For a moment, Nana thought the eyes of the eggplant painted on the door looked unusually downcast, but she then shook her head and decided that she was just imagining it.
"I think we slammed the door a little too hard, so it fell off its hinges," Popo said as he knelt down to lift one end of the door. "Guess we shouldn't be that excited about dinner next time…"
"Master Hand's going to be so mad if we tell him that our door needs some fixing," said Nana fretfully. "He already had to fix two walls today. He gets mad enough when there's just one thing to fix. Why bother to…well…bother him some more and get him to fix three things in one day?"
"Yeah, I don't wanna get him mad again. So…who do you think can fix our door? Some of the Koopa Troopas or Waddle Dees? Maybe the Hammer Bros? If they know how to fight with hammers, they oughtta know how to use them to fix stuff, too."
"…Then wouldn't it be logical to assume that we can use hammers to fix stuff because we also know how to fight with them?"
"Whatever! Okay, I'm gonna call for a Hammer Br—"
Nana whacked Popo on the head with her wooden mallet. "Ugh, you can be so dumb sometimes!" she complained. "Stop jumping to conclusions and think for once, okay?" She put the mallet away and returned her attention to the broken door. "Hmmm… Do you think the Mario Bros would know how to fix doors? First of all, I'm sure they already have the right tools because they're plumbers. And I know they know how to fix all sorts of stuff, so…"
"Uh, I dunno…" Popo looked to his right and saw Luigi at the end of the hallway. "But Luigi is walking in our direction right now, so why don't we find out?" He set down the door and waved. "Hey! Hi, Luigi!"
The green-clad plumber grinned and waved back to the Ice Climber while running toward him and Nana. "Hiya, Popo! Hi, Nana!" he said. Then he saw the door on the ground. "Oh, my, what-a happened here?"
"…Wellllll…" Nana sounded a little embarrassed. "When Peach said it was time for dinner, me and Popo were so happy because we were starving! So we ran out of our room and smashed the door into the doorframe. It hit the frame so hard that it just fell off the hinges and out of the frame and onto the ground! We were wondering if you could maybe fix it…"
"Yeah, we really need your help!" Popo pleaded. "We don't want to see Master Hand get mad again. Can you please help us?"
Luigi took a minute to look at the fallen door, the empty doorframe, the broken hinges, and Popo and Nana. "…Hmm," he said. "Okay."
Popo and Nana's eyes sparkled with glee. "You're really gonna do it?!"
The green-clad plumber nodded confidently. "Yeah! I'm-a really gonna do it-a! I think I have-a stuff that I can use to fix everything-a. You know, it's a good-a thing that your door didn't-a get blown up-a like R.O.B. and Mr. Game & Watch's did-a yesterday. Otherwise, we'd-a have to go out and-a buy a door to replace the destroyed-a one, and-a then Master Hand would-a know about-a the situation, and then everything will get all fussy. And I'm-a really glad to know that Crazy Hand wasn't involved in any of-a this. I mean-a, who knows what we'd-a have to do if-a he did do something. All right-a!" He pushed the Ice Climbers away from himself and the door. "Shoo! Shoo! You're going to get a nail in your faces or something if-a you stay here!"
Popo and Nana dashed away, enthusiastically discussing what to do to preoccupy themselves while Luigi was repairing their door. Popo suggested watching funny videos from a television show called iCarly and complained indignantly when Nana laughed at this.
"Seriously, Nana, it's funny! Hey, lemme show you this one video where these guys are trying to order from the drive-thru of this fast-food restaurant called Inside-Out-Burger (14)—"
"Hahaha. Well, okay, I'll just go along for now and hold you to that…"
"Hey! Nanaaaaa!"
The moment the Smasher siblings were out of earshot, the calm expression upon Luigi's face immediately transformed into one of panic. "Oh, mama mia," he whispered to himself before screaming, "M-M-M-MARIO!"
His older, red-clad brother was at his side in an instant. "What's-a the matter, Luigi?" he asked urgently.
Luigi's eyes were wide with fear. "The… The Ice Climbers-a," he cried, gasping. "I-I-I told-a them I could-a fix their door, but in reality…I…I can't-a!"
Mario looked at his feet to see a door with an eggplant painted on it lying on the carpeted floor. "Oh, I see," he said. "And-a they're expecting to see some-a good results-a…"
"Y-y-yeah!"
Mario put a hand to his chin, pondering. "…Oh, mama mia!" he said, quoting Luigi's earlier words. "This is going to be tough-a. We're plumbers-a, so we know about-a pipes like-a the backs of our hands-a. But…doors? I can't-a say much about-a that…"
Luigi looked like he was about to faint. "Mario, what are we gonna do?! We need-a to do something about-a this before the Ice-a Climbers come back! Not to mention that-a Master Hand-a may find out about all this-a!"
"Step-a one: Calm the heck-a down! We won't-a get anywhere if-a we keep-a panicking like you are right-a now. Step-a two: Keep-a thinking about what-a we're gonna do."
"…So you're just-a saying that-a you don't-a know what we're gonna do, right-a?"
"Let's-a not word it that way," said Mario hurriedly. "It-a sounds pessimistic-a. Hmmm…" He examined the fallen door once again and looked at the empty doorframe and broken hinges. "…Hm. Think-a, Mario, think-a…"
Suddenly, Meta Knight jumped out of the Ice Climbers' room and into the hallway.
"Oh, Meta Knight-a!" Luigi said with surprise. "Where did you come-a from?"
"I flew through the window," the masked knight answered. "By the way, Crazy Hand is on his way to destroy this room."
It took both Mario and Luigi a few moments to register Meta Knight's statement. Then Mario said, "Wait-a, what?"
Meta Knight whirled around, his yellow eyes flashing. "Here he comes!" he warned.
Mario grabbed Luigi's arm and yanked him away from the Ice Climbers' room. Meta Knight wrapped his cape around himself and, to make a long story short, magically disappeared (15). Then a giant white figure shot through the hallway and veered left…and straight through the Ice Climbers' room's doorway.
CRASHHHH!
Almost immediately afterward, somebody angrily roared from the two floors below.
"CRAZY HAND! COME BACK HERE THIS INSTANT!"
Mario and Luigi dived onto the floor to avoid Crazy Hand, who zoomed over them, turned the corner, and flew off with a loud, triumphant crow. Not too long after, Master Hand himself flew after his uncontrollable brother.
"Oh, you little…! GET BACK HERE!"
"Ohohohohooooo! I don't think so, Mastah! Byyyye!"
When neither Mario nor Luigi could see either of the Hands anymore, they cautiously got up from the ground. Mario's eyes were shining.
"Brilliant-a!" he said. "Now Master Hand has-a no choice but to fix the door, the doorframe, the hinges-a, the—well, everything, really, because it-a was Crazy Hand-a who caused the destruction, and-a we all know Master Hand is the only one who fixes what-a Crazy Hand broke-a because no one else can ever be sure of what-a Crazy Hand could've left-a behind. You've-a just been saved-a, Luigi!"
His green-clad brother, however, didn't look so sure.
-ooo-
Popo and Nana were watching an episode of iCarly when they heard a loud explosion on the fourth floor.
"That wasn't our room, right?" Nana asked Popo.
Her brother just shrugged. "Nope, I don't think so. Don't worry about it."
-ooo-
Ness, Lucas, and Wolf didn't land on the ground for a very long time. In fact, they didn't land on the ground at all.
Splash!
Ness was the first to emerge from the cold, dark water. For a split second, he thought he was alone and Lucas and Wolf had ended up somewhere else. Then Lucas appeared near him, coughing out a mouthful of water. "Oh, h-h-hi, Ness!" he said when he saw the black-haired boy. "How are y-you?"
"I'm freezing!" replied Ness, shivering. "Wh-wh-where are we, anyway?"
"I th-think this is one of the l-l-lakes near the Smash Mansion," said Lucas. "L-l-l-let's get outta here."
Together, the two boys began to swim. By now, the sun had completely set, leaving them almost completely blind. Thanks to what little light the cloud-covered crescent moon provided, they could barely make out what looked like the closest shoreline. Neither of them knew where Wolf was and hoped to bump into him as they made for the shore. Ness wasn't a very strong swimmer, having spent most of his time during the Subspace Incident as a trophy, so Lucas often had to stop and tread water (16) while waiting for his friend to recover some of his energy. By some stroke of luck, he found a thick branch that probably came from one of the trees that lined the shore and gave one end of it to Ness.
"Hold on to it with both hands," he told him. "Pretend it's one of those noodle things that people use to float in a pool. Then bring up your body so you're floating on your stomach—like this—" He demonstrated, and Ness mimicked him. "Now all we have to do is kick a lot!"
Side by side, they kicked through the water, unable to see anything more than a few feet away from them. Lucas figured that if they continued to swim in one direction, they'd eventually reach dry ground. He just hoped that they weren't inadvertently swimming to the far end of the lake, which would probably take a fairly long time to reach. Ness muttered something about his sneakers weighing him down and stopped to slip them off, and he let them sink into the dark depths of the lake.
"You're littering!" said Lucas.
Ness rolled his eyes, but in the darkness, Lucas could hardly see the motion. "We can always come back here in the daytime and get them back!"
"…How?"
"Well, it's not like we're friends with a Squirtle and about fifty other guys who can swim like pros—"
"Ohhh-kay, point taken."
Just then, Ness stopped kicking. "Hey," he said. "Do you hear that?"
Lucas stopped kicking, too, and when he strained his ears, he heard what sounded like rapid splashing. "Is… Is someone f-f-following us?" he asked, sounding quite scared.
Ness put a finger to his lips and slowly turned around…to see Wolf O'Donnell swimming toward them as quickly as he could. When he reached Ness and Lucas, he grabbed hold of their stick and trod water with them, coughing and gasping for breath. "R—Ray—"
Ness reached over and patted his back. "Hey, don't panic, Wolf! We're all together again. I thought we wouldn't be able to find you!"
"—is—"
"So now that we've found each other and everything, let's get to the shore. It's cold here and I really can't wait to dry off and go to bed. Anyway, now that we're here…will Master Hand be mad at us for being out of the mansion for so long, or will he be mad at Donkey Kong for sending us here in the first place?"
"—us—"
"Okay, let's go! Wolf, you know how to swim, right? You were doing a really good freestyle! You got here so fast… It's pretty amazing! What's your fastest freestyle time? And do you think you could teach me how to swim in your spare time? I don't really—"
Wolf slapped Ness, pointed behind himself, and shouted, "Rayquaza is chasing us!"
Both Ness and Lucas whirled around…and found themselves staring straight into a pair of large yellow eyes. Then a huge, serpentine Pokémon burst out of the lake.
"GRAHHHHHHH!" roared Rayquaza.
"AHHHHHH!" screamed Ness and Lucas.
"LET'S GET OUTTA HERE!" yelled Wolf.
But there was nowhere to escape to. The three Smashers were in the middle of a lake, couldn't see anything due to the darkness of the night, and were being pursued by a Legendary Pokémon that had the ability to control the weather. Lucas raised one hand and made a brave attempt at using PK Freeze, but all the swimming and treading water that he had done thus far had completely drained him of his energy. The bluish glow of a PK Freeze appeared at his fingertips and quickly fizzled out. Rayquaza roared in a way that made it sound like he was laughing.
Wolf growled and abruptly leaped up with Wolf Flash, following that up with a strong kick that he planted in Rayquaza's face. The Sky-High Pokémon fell backward and sank into the dark water. Wolf hit the water with a loud splash and exclaimed, "Now let's get outta here!"
But before any of them could start swimming away, a large, clawed hand shot out of the water and grabbed Ness.
"AHHHH! NESS!" cried Lucas, horrified.
Ness, in the meantime, was more angry than terrified. "Oh, come on!" he shouted as he was lifted out of the water. "What did I ever do to you?!"
Rayquaza reemerged and roared at the boy in reply.
"That doesn't answer any questions whatsoever!"
The Sky-High Pokémon bellowed something.
"Yeah, whatever! I dunno what you just said! Now put me down! I'm cold and you're gonna give me an actual cold by making me colder!"
Rayquaza roared but didn't let go of Ness, who sneezed several times in a row to make his point.
Pew-pew-pew-pew-pew!
Green lasers rained down on Rayquaza, whose thick hide was able to protect him from most of the damage. Surprised by the assault, he dropped Ness. The psychic boy flailed in the air for a few seconds before plopping back into the water. At the same time, an Arwing descended from the sky and flew around the lake.
Wolf's eyes narrowed slightly. "…What the…?"
A second Arwing appeared out of the gray clouds and fired a Smart Bomb at Rayquaza. While the Pokémon was distracted by the explosion, the Arwing swooped down and clipped the side of his head with its right wing, making him stagger back. Then it lowered its altitude and skimmed the surface of the lake. Wolf grinned when he realized what it was doing and quickly jumped onto its left wing as it was passing by. Within the small cockpit of the Arwing was Fox McCloud, who waved at his passenger. Wolf responded with a thumbs up as he clung onto the wing of the vulpine Smasher's starfighter. Then he remarked to himself with a short laugh, "Well, ain't this hella ironic (17)…"
"Hey, Wolf! What the heck did you do? Rayquaza normally isn't this hostile unless you piss him off somehow!"
Wolf grimaced when Fox's voice pierced his ears through his headset (18). "…Just ask our big gorilla friend about everything," he answered.
Ness raised his hands and brought them down, launching himself into the air with a PK Fire. The first Arwing wheeled and dived to catch him with its wing. Falco saluted Ness and guided his Arwing back down to scoop Lucas out of the water with its other wing.
"Hang ten, boys," said the avian Smasher into his headset's microphone. His voice was amplified by a hidden loudspeaker, allowing everyone to hear him.
Lucas hugged the Arwing's left wing with sheer fright. "H-h-how are we supposed to do that at this speed…and in midair?!"
Rayquaza eventually recovered from the attacks and opened his jaws. A multicolored beam of energy erupted from his maw and took the form of a massive, wingless dragon that seemed to gain a life of its own as it charged at Fox's Arwing.
Wolf tapped a button on his headset, his cybernetic eye glowing blue. "That's…Dragon Pulse, isn't it?"
Fox hesitated before radioing back. "Uh…yeah, I think so. But it used to look way simpler than that (19)!"
"In any case, go for it."
"Understood. Falco, take Ness and Lucas home and tell Master Hand that a wild Rayquaza appeared."
The avian Smasher's tone was incredulous when he replied, "Leaving me out of the fun, eh? Well, fine. We're heading back. See you in a few, assuming you don't screw anything up." His Arwing turned around and flew away from the lake; as it was passing by, Wolf saw that Ness appeared to be enjoying himself, while Lucas looked utterly terrified. He smirked for a second before returning his attention to Rayquaza's Dragon Pulse attack, which was screaming toward him and Fox.
"Ready, Wolf?" asked Fox as he pressed some buttons and adjusted some levers.
"Way ahead of you," replied Wolf. "Watch out! Do a barrel roll (20)!"
Fox's Arwing spun rapidly like a tornado, just as the Dragon Pulse enveloped it. While performing the barrel roll, the Arwing generated an electromagnetic shield that repelled Rayquaza's move and sent it hurtling back at its user. Fox whooped and pumped his fist in triumph…and then, out of the corner of his eye, he noticed that the Dragon Pulse had turned around and was now coming back to him.
"Oh, you gotta be kidding me!" he said to himself. "Is that thing alive or something? It wasn't half this complicated back then with Diddy…"
He pulled the Arwing into a steep dive, closely followed by the multicolored dragon of energy—and Rayquaza himself. Fox groaned and tapped his headset.
"Wolf, we'll have to do some tricky moves here," he spoke into the microphone. He glanced outside. "You'd better—huh?"
The lupine Smasher was nowhere to be seen.
"…But wasn't he riding the left wing just—"
Rayquaza roared loudly, snapping him out of his thoughts. The vulpine growled and made several tight turns in an attempt to throw Rayquaza and the Dragon Pulse attack off his path. While Rayquaza was able to continue following the Arwing, his Dragon Pulse flew off course and zoomed into the sky.
"That thing doesn't look like it'll dissipate soon," said Fox with alarm. "If I don't stop it, it might hit a plane or something!"
"I gotcha covered, Fox."
Something within the dark clouds flashed brightly, and Wolf plummeted from the sky. He fell straight toward the Dragon Pulse and activated the Reflector on his back to surround himself with a pink, spherical barrier. Rayquaza's Dragon Pulse met his barrier and pushed against him for a few seconds before suddenly changing direction and aiming for its user. Rayquaza, who was focusing on Fox's Arwing, bellowed in pain when his own Dragon Pulse slammed into his back and violently knocked him into the lake. Fox, now freed of his pursuer, quickly went around and caught Wolf with his Arwing's right wing. The lupine gripped the edge of the starfighter's wing and caught a glimpse of Fox looking at him oddly.
"…Wolf," the other Smasher finally said, "you're a goddamn show-off."
Wolf just snickered. Fox rolled his eyes and flew the Arwing back to the Smash Mansion. He really deserved a good rest.
-ooo-
Meanwhile, in the depths of the lake…
"How long has he been up there?" asked Lugia, the Legendary Diving Pokémon, as he watched the colorful flashes that illuminated parts of the vast lake. "I thought he would've finished within a few minutes."
"You must not underestimate the Smashers, Lugia," replied Kyogre, the Legendary Sea Basin Pokémon. "Ah, here he comes."
Just as he finished saying this, Rayquaza plunged into the water with a great SPLASH and slowly sank to the lakebed. His yellow eyes were glowing lividly.
"That fox defeated me again!" he complained, sounding devastated.
"But he had backup this time," Kyogre wisely pointed out.
Rayquaza lifted his head to glower at the Water-type Pokémon. "…And what are you doing in my lake?"
Kyogre looked back at him in pure disbelief. "Your lake?! I beg your pardon, but must I remind you that you have already claimed the entire sky as your territory? Why must you also declare this tiny lake as your own? And besides, I thought you were the Sky-High Pokémon, not the—oh, wait." He paused for emphasis before saying rather dramatically, "The…ah…Sea Basin Pokémon. That is my title."
"Are you daft? We aren't even in the sea!"
"That is not my point!"
Lugia groaned quietly and covered his eyes with his massive wings. "…I thought it was Rayquaza's duty to end quarrels between Kyogre and Groudon, not argue with one of them. Perhaps I should get Groudon to break this up."
His musings were answered by Rayquaza smacking him on the side of his head with his tail.
-ooo-
Meanwhile, back at the Smash Mansion…
Darkrai peered through the window to see the wind pick up speed and rain begin to fall. "…It looks like two members of the Weather Trio are at it again."
Mewtwo just continued to read his book.
CHARACTER PROFILE
Name: Fox McCloud
Age: 29
Species: Cornerian red fox
World of origin: Corneria
Video game(s): Star Fox series
Quote: "Don't relax. We're not done yet!"
Biography: Fox McCloud is the leader of Star Fox, a team of galaxy-traversing mercenaries. He has saved his world and beyond multiple times and is hailed as a hero almost wherever he goes. At a young age, he displayed exceptional aerial and ground-based combat skills, allowing him early access to the prestigious Cornerian Flight Academy. While he was a cadet at the Academy, his father, the legendary James McCloud, was killed by the mad scientist Andross. He is very good with all kinds of technology and is an adept Arwing pilot.
Fun fact: He sometimes complains about not being paid enough for his missions. He often wonders if that's because he and his team members regularly damage their equipment, aircraft, and vehicles to the point that the reward money just isn't able to cover the fees for repairing and maintaining everything.
NOTES
(1) I named the world of the Animal Crossing series the Wild World because the second game in the series is called Animal Crossing: Wild World. Plus, I don't think it has an official name yet.
(2) Bluespring, Mt. Amethyst, and the Fellwood will make appearances in later chapters. (This is all part of my giant worldbuilding project that is solely for this fanfic… It might get pretty wild!)
(3) The Mystery Dungeon World is the place where all the Pokémon Mystery Dungeon games take place…obviously! As lame as it may sound, I call it that because it doesn't have an official name.
(4) This third Pokémon world is where the Pokémon Adventures manga series takes place. However, it won't be mentioned much in this story—if at all—because I have no idea how the manga goes.
(5) Just to clarify, Little Mac is still an Assist Trophy at this point because this fanfic thus far is based on SSBB, even though there are references to the newer games…such as the one discussed in the following note…
(6) This is a reference to the line used for Lucas' SSB4 trailer: "Lucas comes out of nowhere!" It also refers to the fact that he comes from the Nowhere Islands.
(7) Also known as the Pikmin Flower.
(8) I think Wolf's left eye is cybernetic. In the older Star Fox games, he just wore an eyepatch over his left eye… I'd assume that he was in a dogfight with Star Fox and got some shattered glass or something in his left eye at some point, which resulted in blindness in one eye.
(9) We're going to assume that the three Smashers that didn't appear in The Subspace Emissary—Toon Link, Jigglypuff, and Wolf—participated in the fight against the Subspace Army.
(10) In MGS and MGS2, there's an item called the Bandana (in MGSV, it's called the Infinity Bandana). Snake will never run out of any ammunition while wearing it, so it's very useful in boss battles and unexpected firefights. Meryl Silverburgh gave him this bandana at the end of MGS; my theory is that he took the bandana with him in MGS2 and MGS4, and now he wears it in SSBB.
(11) A Mythical Pokémon is a Pokémon that is seen so rarely that people question its existence. Some examples include Mew, Deoxys, Arceus, Genesect, and Diancie. As far as I know, all Mythical Pokémon are Legendary, but Bulbapedia says otherwise…
(12) Cresselia is one of the three Legendary Pokémon that appear at the back of the Spear Pillar stage.
(13) This is a reference to "Teardrops On My Guitar" by Taylor Swift.
(14) This episode of iCarly is called iStart a Fanwar.
(15) Was there ever any explanation as to how Meta Knight disappears into his cape after winning a Brawl? …Oh, okay, it's a magical cape with interdimensional powers… Wait, so how does that work?!
(16) There were no places in The Subspace Emissary that required swimming, but you can't assume the Smashers were able to perfectly evade every obstacle. Lucas and some other Smashers must have swum somewhere, so the ones who previously couldn't swim must have learned the basics of swimming from the experts.
(17) At one point in Star Fox: Assault, Wolf saved Fox after some aliens called Aparoids destroyed Fox's Arwing before he could board it. Fox then went on to provide cover fire for Wolf as the latter went around in his Wolfen.
(18) HOW DO THE STAR FOX CHARACTERS' HEADSETS WORK?! THE EARPHONES DON'T EVEN COVER THEIR EARS!
(19) In The Subspace Emissary, Rayquaza's Dragon Pulse just looked like a big ball of energy. Recently in the Pokémon anime, Dragon Pulse looked like a dragon made of energy; in earlier seasons, it looked like an energy ball. So…maybe the move's appearance depends on how the user uses it.
(20) Did you know that what most people think is a barrel roll is actually an aileron roll? A barrel roll is a maneuver in which an aircraft follows the path of a spiral, while an aileron roll is a maneuver in which an aircraft spins around without changing its altitude. It was probably thanks to the first Star Fox game that led to the aileron roll being renamed…incorrectly. But for tradition and Nintendo's sakes, let's pretend nothing went wrong. If I start making the characters say, "Do an aileron roll!" somebody's bound to throw a fit.
That was a pretty interesting chapter.
Stay tuned for Chapter 3 of Life at the Mansion: Disc 1! Don't forget to leave a kind review!