5/23/846

Dear diary,

Today, I met another squad leader. She has us call her Hange. I was the only one to meet her for the first time. She seemed to be the only person I've met so far who does not fear Captain Levi. I wish I were like that - I'd just tell him about my 'crush' (I'm going to call it that due to the lack of a better word). I doubt I am the first. Hange is eccentric. She walked up to the table at breakfast and yelled out: "OH GOD LEVI! IT'S A GIRL!" She meant me.

"Hey, Petra, turns out you are female!" Auro jeered. Hange is odd. She sat down. "Newbie! What's your name?!"

"Petra." She nodded.

"Guys! I must tell out about some new experiments!" Everybody muttered an excuse and left. I had no idea what to do, so I stayed. "Petra! Nice of you to stay!" She rambled on and on. I got to talk when she seemed to calm down and realize that I'd only been in the corps for 8 days. "How do you like the squad?"

"I think they're great." She nodded, expecting more. "Captain Levi is surprisingly nice." She laughed. "Nice! That's new!"

"He just hides it." She stopped. "You're actually right, I just never imagined a newb would notice."

"He told me he selected me because I was nice." Hange rolled her eyes. "And skilled, of course."

"Thank you, Hange. I …. must ask, what do you know about Captain Levi?"

"What's it to you?" I probably reddened, I was definitely not as calm as my response: "I was wondering why he hides his caring." She looked at me.

"There's got to be more than that." She had me. I nodded. I was probably blushing.

"Finally! Competition! I'm going to win, ok!" What? Did she just admit to like Captain Levi? I've lost all hope.

"I'll tell you this much: he was a thug, it's probably where he had to hide his feelings."

The door opened. "Petra, come on, we're training." Hange stood up. "I hope shitty glasses didn't bore you." 'Shitty glasses' - I had hope, I was still 'Petra' to him.

"She was fine." But next time, I'd leave. He nodded. He didn't want to care about whether or not I was bored. I have a feeling he did care a bit. Maybe I just want him to care a bit much. Selfishly, I want Captain Levi to only care about me.

Training has been fine. The squad is nice, they all have a great sense of humor and the niceness Captain chose me for. Auro is annoying though. There's something about him that just pisses me off, he feels 'wrong'. There was a time on the first day, when he really tried to annoy me. "So you're ginger, huh?" Gingers weren't common inside the walls. I nodded. "Damn! I thought I killed them off!" I didn't know what to say.

"That's funny." That was all I could come up with.

"And yellow eyes. Jeez, woman, fit in!" This was odd.

"What, and end up like you?" I hoped that would stop him, what was he trying?

"Hey! I'm perfect!" Yes, he actually said that. "You know, I had a friend who told me gingers have no soul." Gunther joined in. 'Gingers have no soul.' I got bullied for that once. The color of my hair, thank god those guys didn't know I was hazel-eyed.

"I heard that yellow eyes give you two souls, so I guess that compensates." Why couldn't I think of something better?

"Never heard of that before. Did your mum tell you that?" No, I made it up. "When you all are quite finished bullying the only girl in the squad, do come for dinner." Captain didn't sound happy.

"Sorry Captain." Auro and Gunther apologized in unison. I hoped they felt ashamed. Captain nodded. He does care. I just realized that this was evidence, after all; would them bullying me really lead to my death? There's more to his caring. Did he like me? Wow, I really can't stop myself. Did I do this before? I guess before, the person was simpler, without the odd barrier. Whether he likes me or not, I ought to know him better. I can claim to know humanity's soldier the best!