Frieza yawned as he got up from his morning nap. Hell hadn't really been all that torturous since Zarbon had died due to the ogres not being able to enforce the rules. Frieza then flared out his red ki and flew towards the game console, eager to get dibs on the new game. Hopefully it would be less disappointing than that one fanfiction he read(Dragon Ball Multiverse or something) and would be as entertaining as Halo Reach. Frieza finally lighted down on the area of Hell where the game was and saw that Lord Slug and Pui Pui were also there, playing a game. Frieza pushed past the two and saw the new game, "Call of Duty: Black Ops". It looked similar to Halo Reach in gameplay so Frieza smirked at the destruction he'd bring upon the two players.
"Slug, Pui Pui, let me play" Frieza demanded, using his tail to pick up a controller and bring it to his hands. Pui Pui and Slug snickered before pressing something on the options' screen and letting Frieza jump into campaign. Frieza's rage was quick to bubble over. "What stupidity is this?! The gun goes left when I point it right!" Frieza screamed as his bullets sprayed in all the wrong directions. Eventually, Frieza got the hang of it and advanced towards some enemies, only to be cut down in seconds.
"You're not as strong as in Halo" Slug mocked the trembling Arcosian as he was forced to restart the level. Frieza snarled with barely constrained fury and was cut down again by a barrage of bullets.
"This is stupid! I'll play online" the Arcosian stated angrily before exiting to the menu and going online.
Pui Pui chuckled before saying "Here, let me put it on the "awesome" setting" maliciously. Frieza accepted the praise like a fish after a worm and began to play online. While the controls were fixed, his skill was not.
"I THREW C4 RIGHT NEXT TO HIM, HOW IS HE NOT DEAD?!" Frieza screamed in disbelief as an enemy walked away from an explosion like a minor inconvenience.
"Fool, it's called Flak Jacket, If it pisses you off that much, go play with your gay buddies in custom game" a growly voice called over the mic. Frieza suddenly felt his blood freeze as the voice registered in his mind.
"Vegeta" Frieza growled, now motivated to teach the simian a lesson in humility. Frieza's plans of beating the prince like on Namek were interrupted by a rocket launcher blasting his character apart. "WHICH UNEVOLVED APE IS APE IS NOOBY ENOUGHT TO USE THAT?!" Frieza screamed at at pitch that made Lord Slug simultaneously whimper and laugh. Frieza's fury turned into horror when he saw the gamer tag. "iamthehopeoftheuniverse?" Frieza sputtered, fear coursing through his veins as he read through all the gamertags that were playing. "superyoshi, futuresword, sonofhope, Ultimaterage, Buucandy, diskofdestruction, trihard, scarfacedbandit, bandanna17, brokeSSJarm, and Prince of Saiyans" Frieza squeaked, realizing in seconds how screwed he was. While his mind comprehended it, his body did not. "I am totally not Frieza!" Frieza shrieked in fear, noticing too late that his tag was "Frieza, killer of monkeys". All the other players whipped around to his character in an instant.
"Was that Frieza?" Ultimaterage questioned over the mic, hoisting a rocket-launcher.
"Maybe" Frieza whimpered as all the other players surrounded him. "Can we just play this like a regular match?" Frieza gulped nervously, attempting to back away. What followed was a brutal display where Frieza couldn't even survive five seconds after spawning and was being blown up constantly. Even Pui Pui and Lord Slug felt almost sorry for Frieza at that point as the tyrant ran in fear from the horde that chased him. "I'm sorry for killing you Vegeta, Earthling whose name escapes me, Namek, stomping on your head son of Goku, and making you really mad" Frieza begged piteously as more and more bullets riddled his form. Eventually, the timer ran out seemingly in time to end Frieza's suffering. Unfortunately, it didn't.
"Well, the mighty Frieza was killed a hundred times" Pui Pui laughed as he looked at the scoreboard. Frieza slapped the Majin away with a tail-swipe before going back to the main menu, desperate to find a game-type he could win. "How about headshots only?" Pui Pui growled deviously as he dusted himself off.
"No headshots you say? Well, that fine" Frieza stated, not realizing his foolish mistake. Pui Pui snickered as he picked up the controller, knowing Frieza's absolutely terrible aim would bit him in the tail. As the game started Frieza aimed for Pui Pui's body with his pistol and fired twice. Incredibly, the two shots hit Pui Pui square in between the eyes and killed him.
"I like this mode" Frieza taunted as he began pulling off headshots easily. Pui Pui was practically punching himself for that mistake. If Frieza had been told to aim for the head, he would have missed. However, with Frieza thinking it was only bodyshots, the Arcosian was instead headshotting Pui Pui constantly with accidental aim. Pui Pui then lured Frieza into a smaller area in an attempt to pin down the Arcosian. Instead, the Arcosian began spraying his gun everywhere with no control, eventually hitting Pui Pui one last time and causing the Majin to ragequit.
"This is stupid!" Pui Pui screamed before tossing down the controller in a fit of fury. Lord Slug stretched out his arm rapidly, catching the controller before it hit the ground and beginning a new game.
"Gungame? How does that work?" Frieza questioned the Super Namek.
"Shoot me twenty times in a row and you win" Lord Slug said, barely keeping his laughter in check. The following game was little more than a screamfest that could be heard in upper world as Frieza was knifed constantly,
"I hate the Makarov! Stop Humiliating me!" Frieza squealed while firing wildly in an attempt to kill the meleeing Namek. "You're a girl!" Frieza screamed as the scoreboard showed he had been stabbed forty times.
"Yet I don't squeal, wear lipstick, paint my nails, or run in fear of the word "Super Saiyan" Slug retorted before putting Frieza back online. Frieza's scream when he saw the same gamertags as before was said to rival Super Buu's.
A/N: Try to guess which gamertag belongs to who