Disclaimer: I do not own anything that has to do with Slugterra: all hail Nerd Corps Entertainment! The only thing I own is my weird brain and a jar of candies and cookies. Grab some if you like! Also have some huggies!

Shout out: This shout out is for the amazing, absolutely wonderful Corporal_Levi_cleans_my_house! This is a lovely person with a big heart, who writes amazing stories. This lovely human being wrote, in my opinion, absolutely brilliant stories about Eli and Mario Bravado. Also, if you're a big fan of Attack on Titan and ship Levi/Eren... just go to this person's page already on Archive Of Our Own! You will not be disappointed! Thanks again sweetie for being an awesome human being! Huggies!

Open poll: So, I am going to make this an open poll fic. for who will end up with Eli. Meaning that you lovely people will have to send me your suggestions, cause I want to see what you people are in most need of!

Warning: This is going to be one hell of an emotional roller coaster! Just a lot of angst and drama due to character growth. Here, have some tissues!

Chapter summary: Eli is getting more and more frustrated with his inexplicable emotions. He's tired of being the way the world has labelled him to be. His friends know there's something seriously wrong with their leader and after overhearing one of the conversations Eli's had with his slugs, Kord confronts him... The outcome makes the Shane gang desperate to find someone able to help the young man to find his inner peace back. But will that person be able to? Read and find out!

Chapter two: An unexpected father figure.

It had been two weeks since the mall incident and yet everything that had happened just didn't want to leave Eli's mind. Every time he tried to shut out all the images, his emotions simply took control and forced him to watch them over and over again. Not even in his sleep was he safe. Actually it was probably worse there. His mind constantly betrayed him, always turning normal dreams into less pleasant or in some others' point of view: extremely pleasant dreams. And when he woke up, he felt distant from his own person, it was like he never had truly known himself. Had never taken the chance to discover what he wanted in life. For over the past two years he had done what everyone expected him to do, had wanted him to do. Now, he wasn't sure if their needs were his needs as well, but he was hungry enough to find out the answer to all of his heavy emotional baggage. He was absolutely done with the extreme feelings nagging in the back of his mind, bringing him down.

However, that morning, he once gain woke up with sweat dripping from his brow and legs uncomfortably tangled in his bed sheets. Where he used to love sleeping on the couch, he now couldn't even be forced to sleep on it anymore. Not after that one particular morning where he had woken up moaning and drenched in his own perspiration and semen. Luckily his slugs hadn't really noticed, at least that was what he hoped. However, it was safe to say that he never wanted to experience that again.

In present time, he lazily and somewhat grumpily shuffled his way to the bathroom. Once there, he wiped the weariness out of his eyes and began undressing. With a disdain look he threw his, once again sticky, boxers in the corner and stepped into the shower. The warm water rinsing every bit of evidence from last night's dream off his body. Gently he scrubbed down his arms and legs. Some of his muscles still slightly hurting after the intense training he did yesterday. He wanted to keep on being fit and was ready to pay the price for it. Eli sighed in bliss the water provided him. This was just what he had needed. Soon he'd began planning the day ahead of him…

After the soothing shower and having brushed his teeth, he slowly put on his Shane uniform and walked to the living room. Here he was greeted with the smell of a fresh breakfast and the smiles of his friends.

"Good morning Eli, slept well?" Kord asked him, before he started to munch on a chicken leg.

"Eh, could be better." He admitted.

"Oh, something wrong?" Trixie asked alerted.

"Err, nope, just… couldn't find a good way to err, lay down?"

"Was that a question or a real reason?" The girl asked suspiciously.

Eli sighed in defeat and sat himself down at the table. "I just get these nightmares from when… You know, when Blakk was still here." He lied and put his head in his hand with a sigh for dramatic emphasis.

"Ah Eli, don't worry, that Ghoul loving freak will never return." Kord slapped him friendly on the shoulder.

"Yes and if he does, he will have to face Pronto, the magnificent, the most dangerous molenoid of all. With his glorious skills, he will defeat all that will challenge the mighty Pronto."

The rest of the Shane gang rolled their eyes, but laughed anyway.

"Well, we all are here for you, Eli. No one is going to destroy Slugterra, not on our watch." Trixie told him and handed him some chicken.

"Thanks guys, I wouldn't know what I would do without you." With a smile he grabbed his food and quickly shoved it inside his mouth. Damn, he was hungry!

After breakfast, he had played a round of Robot fights with Trixie, helped Kord with the cleaning of their mechas and tidied his room a bit. Then, he had nothing left to do and plopped himself down on the couch, closing his eyes with a small groan.

He was going insane. He had so much adrenaline left and yet somehow he didn't feel like training at all.

"What's wrong with me?" he sighed. Burpy nuzzled his cheek affectionately. The other slugs also joined in, covering Eli's body with a pleasant warmth.

"Thanks guys." He yawned and closed his eyes again. All those feelings made him exhausted and he was glad when he was able to shut his eyes once in a while.

Yet, he was laying on the couch, in public, in the middle of the day… falling asleep could mean that he had to face some severe humility after waking up again and he was by no reason ready for that.

With a small jolt he sat upright on the couch, face slightly contorting with panic.

The slugs who had laid peacefully on his stomach, now jumped in surprise and annoyance. What was wrong with their owner?!

Burpy, who had even fallen off his shoulder, stared at him with worry and made small noises that he directed at Eli.

"Err, sorry guys. I'm a bit err… confused myself too." Eli admitted guiltily and bit his lip in frustration.

His slugs then huddled over and started to ask him all sort of questions, which he of course couldn't understand. Well, he understood some of it.

"I know, I know, but I just don't know what I want… I just don't know what I feel… I'm just lost, okay. But don't worry, I'll find my way back eventually." He softly smiled at his small friends and petted some of them.

Doc then suddenly jumped on his knee, forcing to get Eli's attention. Which worked.

"What's wrong doc?"

Apparently Doc wanted to check if he was hurt and proposed to heal him.

"Oh Doc, I don't think you can heal me. This is… different. This is err, how to explain… I hurt from the inside, okay. You can't fix that, I need to fix myself. But thanks buddy, I know I can always count on you and the rest of you guys." With that he suggested the slugs to go and have some fun.

Every slug went away, finding ways to entertain themselves. Every slug, except Burpy who still didn't want to leave their owner alone.

"Hey, it's okay, Burpy. I just need some time to think some things through. I'll be up for an adventure again, before you know it. Now, go along with Joules, I thinks he has to show you something." Joules was waving mischievously at the infurnus.

After Burpy left his shoulder, Eli silently went back to his room, where he literary let himself fall onto his bed.

"Ugh." He groaned and grabbed the pillow with both of his hands.

Then, quite unexpectedly, a large hand touched his back carefully.

"Eli?" It, surprisingly, was Kord.

Eli turned around, eyeing the cave troll with a blank face.

"Hey bro, I know you… and this is not you. What's going on, Eli?" he asked, not removing his hand.

Eli, completely thrown from the question, felt his throat constrict and his eyes widen. What was he supposed to say?!

"Listen bro, I know that you may not want to talk about it, but I'm seriously worried, seeing you this way, man. Let me help you. That's what friends do, right?"

Eli, who had turned around so he could lay on his back, slowly nodded.

"Good. So, what's going on, bro?"

Eli closed his eyes, energy draining from his body, panic taking place and the eternal blues forcing its way to the front.

"I…" he breathed out with difficulty.

"Yes?" Kord's voice sounded so serene, so loving…. Eli broke.

"I just don't know what's wrong with me! I have this desire to just disappear from the entire universe. Go and do my own thing, even if I don't know what my own thing is. I just, ..I…just… I. Just. Don't. Know! I am lost and afraid and just so, so tired of everyone labeling me as only the Shane! Where's the problem in being just Eli? Why can't I be seen as just another human being? Why?!" he ranted and slammed his fist down on his bed, tears manically escaping his eyes.

Then something happened, he would never have guessed to happen. Kord lifted him up and cradled him onto his lap, like he was a new-born baby, not quite ready for the vast, dangerous and mean world outside.

"Shss, it's okay, bro, I got you." The broken boy let his tears freely flow then. Not minding anyone who would see.

"I miss him, I miss him so much, Kord." He was talking about his father, Will Shane. In these sort of situations his father was normally the one to comfort him, telling him that he had nothing to worry about.

"I know, bro, I know."

Eli pitifully sobbed in the shirt of the cave troll, hating his weakened state, hating his own family name.

In the doorway, the other members and slugs had appeared, all having heard Eli's rambunctious screaming. Pronto was for the first time quiet, not knowing what to do. Trixie put her hands on her mouth, too afraid of crying herself. The slugs just stood there, silently weeping or making anxious little squeaks.

After a good fifteen minutes, the young Shane had somehow fallen asleep. Cheeks still icky from tears and face marred with pain.

Kord gently lay the young man down, his eyes now watery too. All of them left the room quietly, not wanting to disturb their sleeping leader. Once back in the living room, they all sat down, not exactly knowing what had just happened.

"Did you?..." Trixie began, clearing her dry throat.

"No, I didn't know that it was this bad, Trixie." The cave troll sighed.

"What can we do?" Pronto, forever in shock of Eli's outburst didn't even notice himself saying we instead of the magnificent Pronto. Nor did the others.

"I don't know man, I mean looking back at it, the kid has been through a lot, hasn't he?"

They nodded at Kord.

"I mean, we've been too, but nothing in comparison to him… Maybe he really needs some professional on this one." Kord muttered and played with his mug.

"I just wish we had found a way yet to bring back his father." Trixie said and crossed her arms over the chair.

Even after a full year, they still hadn't come any closer to bring back Will Shane and they knew that it was only making things more difficult for the already emotionally torn boy.

"If there was only someone whom Eli could talk to about his father, I mean someone who actually knows Will Shane…" Kord murmured.

"Kord, you're a genius!"

"Wait, what about Pronto? Pronto is also a genius, right?" The molenoid jumped up and looked hopefully at the redhead, who completely ignored him.

"Err, why Trixie?"

"Well, didn't Eli once mention that Redhook and his father were basically best friends down here? I think that if we tell him about the situation, he might be willing to help out."

"Redhook?!" Pronto let out a small terrified scream.

"Yeah Trixie, I don't think Eli's in need of an angry screaming paranoid guy, right now." The cave troll stated, half scared of the memories he had about the man.

"Oh come on guys, Redhook isn't that bad, at least when you're not insulting him…'' The last thing was angrily whispered at the molenoid, who quickly hid behind his chair.

"Yeah, but still… I don't know Trixie…"

"I know what you're thinking Kord, but Redhook actually showed a lot of empathy towards Eli last time. I think that we should really give this a shot." She almost pleaded now.

"Well, it isn't like we've got any other options." Kord sighed deeply.

It was decided then. The three of them packed their things, ready for the journey they were about to make.

"Wait, we'll have to leave a note for Eli. We can't let him worry even more."

Trixie quickly scrabbled a memo and left it on the coffee table, knowing that Eli would always look there.

"Okay, I think we're ready to go."

And with that they left to Quiet cavern, all hoping that the man they were about to visit, was going to understand the situation.

About two hours later Eli found the note on the coffee table. He rubbed his hands over his puffy eyes and gave a confused yet small smile after reading it.

Hey Eli,

We're going to see Redhook. Kord was dying to get more information about some new kind of upgrade for our blasters.

If you feel like it, you can join us, but only after two hours from the time we left. Kord wanted to surprise you, okay. So don't spoil it.

We left around 12:03 pm.

See ya,

Trixie and the others

Eli didn't know what to think. Since when was Kord hiding possible upgrades and since when did they leave without him... Even though he knew that they had probably wanted to let him sleep, he still felt a tad bit left out. Visiting Redhook was one of his favourite things to do. The man had known his father extremely well and often times, when he found himself in the company of the man, they would talk about those past days... He really missed his father. Well, most importantly his father's wisdom and guidance. He had so many different emotions that were bothering him. Not to even mention his sometimes raging hormones. Damn. That was probably his biggest problem actually. Eli had no idea how to handle them. One day he felt like spontaneously asking someone out and seconds later he felt like hiding in some unknown bunker where not even the Shadow clan could find him, avoiding all contact in the process. He wasn't really attracted to someone in specific...yet. As a matter of fact he didn't even know what he was attracted to... Well, okay, maybe he was in denial. Those dreams he'd been having lately, certainly did show his preference...

Merely thinking about them, made his body tremble with want and his eyes already half glazed over with dark desire. More and more images were brusquely pushed to the front of his mind...

With a heavy shake of his head he forced himself to put his delirious thoughts at the back of his conscience. He then quickly woke Burpy and the other slugs who all had been fast asleep and gathered his gear. If there truly was a new upgrade, then he was definitely going to be one of the first to try it out...

With a determined grin, he left in hurry on his mecha to see Redhook, with Burpy laying gently snuggled on his shoulder.

The young Shane arrived at 15:07 pm, parking his mecha just outside, already giddy to test out the new gear. Upon nearing the door, he realized the sudden quietness from the other side and began fearing for an ambush. With his blaster in hand, he kicked the door open, completely ready to strike any opponent.

"Oh my, I see..." Redhook exclaimed, while eyeing the young man peculiarly.

"What? What do you see?!" Eli then asked, slightly panicking.

"Well then, leave this to me. Now shoo!" the man told the rest of the Shane gang, almost kicking them out.

"What is going on? I seriously thought something was wrong for a second! ...Guys? Hey?!"

Before his group could even answer, they were brutally shoved outside the house, leaving their heavily confused and spooked leader with the older man.

Eli quickly turned to Redhook, slight fear and hurt written on his face.

"Lower your weapon, son. I mean you no harm in any way." Redhook calmly spoke, though never taking his eyes of the boy.

Eli, who hadn't even noticed he was still aiming his blaster, gently dropped his blaster, before putting it away entirely.

"So, son, why don't you come and sit down for a while. I can tell from your reaction that a lot is happening in your life right now."

The young Shane could only blink in confusion. Nothing made sense to him and definitely not the older man's behaviour towards him nor his friends. Even if he had probably the best relationship with the man from all people of Slugterra, the way he spoke to him was too kind, too gentle and Eli wondered if he should be suspicious about it.

"Come on lad, I don't bite... Tea or something fresh to drink?"

"Err, I guess..."

"That's not really an answer now, is it?"

"No... Err, the fresh thing, I guess." Eli was blabbering. His words stumbled out of his mouth in an uneven rhythm, barely forming a proper sentence.

"Well, sit down." Redhook now eyed him with a genuinely concerned expression.

The young Shane shuffled his way to sit down, eyes remaining slightly wider than normally. Burpy jumped on the table, looking from the man to his owner and back, before asking with squeaks what what's going on. Redhook smiled at the infurnus, knowing very well that it was extremely protective over his owner.

"Hold it right there, I know you're a smart slug, so go figure what this is all about."

Eli watched the whole scene, his face dead serious.

Suddenly Burpy nodded apprehensively and called out the other slugs, who appeared instantly.

"Hey Burpy, what's going on?" His owner now asked curious, yet still suspicious.

The slug only smiled happily at Redhook, giving him an approving nod, before taking off, with the rest of Eli's arsenal trailing behind him.

"Burpy?!" Eli protested, also trying to get up, only to be pushed back down in his seat by the man.

"You and I need to talk son and your slugs all know it."

The young man, however, refused to listen, his inner panic rising up again. He scanned the room in a hurry, already forming an escape plan, while rising from his chair again.

"Eli Shane!" Apparently Redhook had been screaming for his attention, yet he had been too focused on the turmoil from within. That actually was bad news. For it meant he could be distracted in battle too.

"Young Shane, I advice you to take a deep breath and put a little bit faith in this old man."

It was then that Eli noticed the way Redhook had approached him. With small steps he had slowly walked his way towards the boy, not wanting to startle him. And with the uttermost care he had soothingly laid his hand on the boy's shoulder.

"I, err. Sorry." With a sigh, Eli sat down again.

A whole quarter had passed before the older man finally spoke, letting the young Shane silently enjoy the sponge cake he had bought to help him relax. He knew that Eli loved food, loved cake.

"So, how you've been the past weeks? I haven't seen you in quite a while." Redhook sipped from his tea.

"Fine." the boy squirmed in his seat. Not really so fine then...

"And you're serious about that."

"No..." Eli almost whispered, avoiding the intent gaze from his father's old friend.

"Well then, young lad, tell me all about it."

"Err, I just..." And then everything made sense and Eli didn't know whether he should be enormously pissed off at his friends or thank them to heaven.

"They arranged this, didn't they? What have they told you so far?"

Redhook lowered his cup and then said: "Well, you did give them a reason to and on top of that they haven't really told me anything. Well, apart from the fact that they are deeply concerned for your well being, of course." And with that he took another sip.

"Ugh." Eli groaned, embarrassment clearly written on his face.

"You should be happy with friends like that, son. Not everyone has someone they can rely on."

Eli knew that it was true, yet the hurt was also inevitable.

"Okay, since I don't see myself getting out of this one..." With a big gulp of fresh air, the young man told Redhook everything he felt, well almost everything...

"So, you just want to find out what you want, but are at the same time afraid of discovering who you are and what you really want?"

Eli nodded shyly.

"And this feeling of not fitting in, how long has it been there and most importantly when did you start to care about it?"

"Well, my whole life actually. It's just that lately, well, since the defeat of Tad, I just don't know what I want anymore. I mean I know I'm a Shane, but why can't I be a different Shane. My father always taught me that catching the bad guys is the most important job as a Shane. Yet, after Twist and Tad and a bunch of other people, I just... I just don't know if that is the most important thing to do."

"Your father always wanted to see the good in others too, Eli, never forget that." Here, Redhook sounded more strict, just not yet scolding.

"I know, I just wonder what would have happened if..."

"If what?"

"If he had tried more, asked more, understood better. I know that what all those people did isn't excusable, yet why didn't anyone try to listen to their story. I know my father did everything he could to stop them and even to talk sense into them, but did he ever listen? I know it sounds strange and maybe I should never share this with anyone else, yet I feel responsible for Tad's actions and Twist's too. If someone had showed them the respect and the love like I've always had, then maybe they wouldn't have gone down the road they'd eventually have taken."

Redhook sat stunned in his chair. He knew Eli cared a lot about everyone and almost always too much, but this was a whole new level of empathy.

"You should never feel guilty for a path that has been chosen with the consciousness of the person who walks it, Eli. Yet, I must admit, I am intrigued by your way of thinking. Slugterra has indeed the knack of being two sided only, while if you take away the inhabitants outer layers, there's always a bit of both to find."

"So, you don't think I'm a complete maniac, who lost his brains?" Eli carefully asked.

"I? Never! You're Will's son, I knew from the very first day you set foot inside my home that you were a good kid. Now, ...you're just becoming a good man. I think this has a lot to do with growing up and when you do, you simply get your own opinion of life around you. There's no harm in that, young Shane. The only harm I see, is the excessive pain, whether it be emotional, you're putting yourself through unnecessarily."

It had happened in a blink of an eye. The young Shane couldn't stop it, even if he wanted to. Tears, a complete river flowing down his cheeks non too gently, more like a wild stream.

Well, shit... was Redhook's intern reaction.

"Hey kid, it's okay. Being a Shane can be very stressful. Your father broke down as well. Came in with a bottle of root beer, completely hungover. I had to drag his sleeping form to the couch, remained worried for the rest of the night. Then he woke up, throwing every bit of sorrow and personal terror he had been through out. I've never seen your dad so stressed."

"Really?" Eli sniffed and hastily wiped away the tears.

"Yes, he was, I believe, about twenty then. Young, but mature. I think, just like you, that he never had the time to realize what dangerous life he actually lead. Constantly busy saving everyone around him. Yeah, you're a Shane alright. I think, though, that you, young man, should consider yourself more often. I know that you already told your friends that you needed some time alone, but I don't think that that's enough. Go! Enjoy life, throw a party, learn something new, something you want to learn, go on dates... Err, okay, what did I say that made you literary slide off the chair. It's a sturdy chair, so there must be a good explanation."

"Oh err, just the dating... People have been bothering me a lot lately with questions about my...err preferences.." he gulped and struggled to get back on the, indeed, sturdy chair.

"Well son, you just gotta be whoever you are, also if they keep on bothering you kid, let me know... I've got a few ways of my own to help people understand..."

Redhook then turned around his hook, showing exactly the hidden strength the man possessed.

"Thank you." For the first time since months, the young Shane finally felt calm again. Glad to have spit out his sorrow and pain, he stood up confidently.

"Hey kid, just take your time. You've done enough for us, now be there for yourself." A short hug was followed.

Burpy and the other slugs came out, with knowing grins on their faces.

"Hey guys, ...thank you for understanding." he told all of the cute little fellows.

Burpy jumped on his shoulder, once again nuzzling his cheek with affection.

"Before you go, Eli, tell the cave troll that I indeed am quite busy making an upgrade for all of your blasters."

"So, it hadn't been a total lie then?"

"Of course not, son. Now shoo, get out, have fun, go get dinner." Redhook pushed him out. Though in his heart, he felt the content of knowing that he was able to help the young Shane and with that thought he had to almost bite the inside of his cheek to stop himself from letting a tear slip from his eye.

...

"Redhook... thanks again. I needed that." Eli waved the older man goodbye and dialed the rest of the Shane gang. He was hungry and he needed food, now!

T.b.c.

Well thank you all for reading this! And reviews are always welcome!

I wish you all the very best in life and hope to have pleased you with this fic. Sorry if I didn't.

Huggies!

Daphne, the person who should really go to bed on time...