Story: After the Rain, Chapter 2
Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach...
"Oi, Rukia, what the hell do ya think yer doing?!" a familiar voice demanded, immediately snapping her out of her thoughts. Looking up, she blinked a few times, before realizing who it was standing before her. He pulled the sword from her grip, throwing it to the side. He grabbed her wrist tightly enough to pull her up, while making certain she didn't try to escape.
"R-Renji, what are you doing here?" she looked away, unable to bring herself to look him in the eye. He clenched his fist in agitation.
"Isn't it obvious?! I'm doing what any sane person would do!" he retorted, as if even a blind person would've be stupid to not see it. "I'm here 'cause there's no way in hell I'm gonna sit back and allow you to do somethin' as foolish as that! Are ya an idiot?!"
Her eyes had now met the red haired Lieutenant's gaze, as they searched each other's emotions. In his expression, Rukia saw nothing but pure agitation, disappointment, anger, and disbelief. At first, she was sure it was her those emotions were aimed at. After all, it would only make since that he'd be disappointed in her, considering that anybody who would try to commit suicide were nothing but a coward.
Then again, that's what she was; a weak, useless burden that was always holding people back. If it wasn't for her, there's a chance Kaien might still be alive; if it wasn't for her screwing everything up, or even being there to begin with, even if that same hollow had attacked Karakura town so long ago, she was sure that the person they would've sent instead would've done much better than she'd done. Right now, Ichigo could've been living a normal life, and would've been able to relax all those times, and live off what little years he had left of his youth.
Those two were not the only ones who had been held back because of her. Back when they were in still living in the Rukongai, even their friends had suggested that they should become Soul Reapers, but, at the time, she didn't really care about that. However, Renji, on the other hand, wanted something more out of life; he wanted to be recognized. He didn't want to live forever in poverty. The only reason he stayed, was because she stayed, and, at the time, she was too blind to see that.
She knew he was probably feeling downright irritated down deep, but was obviously keeping it to himself. That's just how he was sometimes.
"Who knows, Renji? Maybe I am." she gave a mocking smirk, which lasted for only fraction of a second. "But, either way, what I do is none your concern."
She'd tried her best to make it sound smart-alic, just to piss him off in the hopes it would result in them getting in an argument, and him storming off like always. Maybe if she was cruel enough, he would be happy she was dead. Renji wasn't amused, though, nor was he a fool. He obviously knew what she was trying to do, which only made it worse.
"You're wrong, Ruki-" before he finish speaking, she cut him off.
"No I'm not! If I want to choose to do what should've been done long ago, that's my decision! I deserve this!" she cried. "You, yourself, would be a lot stronger if it hadn't been for me holding you back from becoming a Shinigami! Ichigo is always getting hurt and risking his life to protect me, when I don't even deserve it! If... If it'd been any other Shinigami back then, I'm certain they would've easily been able to defeat that hollow, without getting him involved in all this. Even Ganju and Kukaku's lives were also affected in negative ways, because of Kaien's death. You can say that killing him was the only way to save him, and that what I did what was right, all you want, but I'm not fooled. I killed him, after everything he'd done for me! He gave me a purpose; a reason for living. He treated me normal! He was the first one willing to acknowledge me as a normal subordinate. Now that he's gone...I have nothing left in this world. I'm alone...I-I, I just don't know, Renji...I'm so confused..." she looked down, letting her hair shadow her eyes, in an attempt to hide her tears.
Her shoulders were now trembling, as she desperately tried to stop crying. She tightly clutched the cloth of her Kimono with her lone free hand. She didn't like him seeing her like this.
'I've got to stop crying...,' she told herself, to no avail.
Still holding her wrist, Renji stared at her for a moment, surprised by her sudden outburst, but then he gave a small pain-filled smirk. With his free hand, he slowly reached up, placing a thumb on her cheek.
"Ya idiot…You're impatient... Ya didn't even let me finish my sentence a minute ago." he spoke softly, lifting up her chin, so he could see her eyes. She averted his gaze, now ashamed of how she'd yelled at him. After all, he hadn't done anything to deserve it. He rubbed the corner of her eye, where tears threatened to fall. "Ya said it's not my concern, but yer wrong. It became my concern the exact moment ya dared to even think of leavin' me. Even if all the pain were to stop for you, how do think the ones left behind would feel?"
Rukia's eyes widened, in surprise.
"If Lieutenant Shiba's death made ya feel like it was yer fault, because ya were too weak to stop it from happening, then let me ask you this. How do ya think I would feel, Rukia?! And Ichigo?! It's only because of ya, that I was able to get this far. Back in the Rukongai, You were always able to do the things I couldn't. Even to this day, just knowin' you're alive, and out there somewhere, doing your best, is all the motivation I need. Ya may not know it, or want to believe it, 'cause you're as stubborn as Ichigo when it comes to things like this, yer place, and purpose in life is with your friends and those ya care about. Ichigo needs you, Inoue-san needs you. Kuchiki-taichou needs you, Ukitake-taichou needs you. Hanatarou-san needs you. I need you, and more than anything, your master, Kaien Shiba needs you."
"K-Kaien-dono...needs me...?" Rukia stuttered disbelievingly, in a low and scratchy voice; one of which, if Renji hadn't been standing as close he was, her quiet voice would've most likely been drowned out by the sound of the unforgiving and continuous downpour. Before she could say anything else, she pulled into a warm embrace. Renji placed a comforting hand on her back, allowing her some ease. His grip on her wrist softened, but remained. She was hesitant at first, but after a moment, she let her shoulders relax, resting her head into his kimono. Her free hand had never left her side.
"Yeah, we all need ya, Rukia...," he whispered, smiling above her head. "and the scoldin' you're always giving Ichigo is somethin' all of us are gonna need eventually. We all need ya to stay strong, and to live. Otherwise, you're gonna be the one gettin' the scolding. After all those efforts that were put into stoppin' yer execution; Ichigo went against everything, Ishida was even forced into losing his Quincy powers, Inoue-san was tryin' to do everything she could, I went head-to-head with Kuchiki-taichou, and Hanatarou was willin' to go against the whole fourth squad just to see to it that you were safe. Don't tell me ya forgot how Ukitake-taichou and Kyouraku-taichou fought against the head captain after destroying the Sokyoku. Remember how your brother got stabbed by Gin's sword, in the attempts to save you. After everything we've to keep you alive, you're just going throw it back at us?"
Small gasps could be heard as she sobbed into his Shihakusho. "I-I don't deserve any of this attention... I'm not special like Nii-sama... So why is everyone being so...so..."
"Nice?" Renji cocked an eyebrow, knowing exactly what she was thinking. Her muffled huff gave him the answer. "It's because you're important to us. You're our friend, and like a little sister to me. I can't afford to lose ya."
"Is family really all that good to have...?" the raven sniffled. "I mean, technically, Nii-sama is my brother, and I've known him for years, but when it comes down to it...I don't know...he kind of scares me...but, then again…"
"Rukia? Oi, Rukia, what's wrong?!" he looked down, just then noticing how pale her skin was, as she lay barely conscious in his arms.
"Ren...ji..." she whispered, her sight becoming blurry. A blob of red, and a single curse, was the last thing she could make out, before the world around her faded to darkness.
~ End of le Chapter ~
A/N: Sooo, what did you guys think? Good? Bad? Fast? Appalling? Let me know, si~? =^ J ^=