Forbiddances for Meriadoc Brandybuck and Peregrin Took

by slopes

It was a grand journey, but surely things can always be improved for the next time. Gandalf later regretted encouraging a pair of twin, non-twin, hobbits join the Fellowship.

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22. Stop trying to tickle Boromir, he is not in need of any cheering up. And why do you feel the need to touch him?

23. You are not allowed to have traveling artists do your portraits. Black Rider's and orcs are on our tail, fools.

24. You cannot call 'dibbsies' on ring bearer after Frodo. (Frodo is already paranoid enough as is.)

25. If you should ever return to the shire, you will return Bilbo's tunic and pipe.

26. Peregrin. You knocked the Evenstar into the river. Even if by accident, deal with the consequences.

27. For the last time. We are going to Mordor. We not need to ask directions.

28. Just keep away from Aragon's neck in general. No one cares if you saw teeth marks or not.

29. Arwen is not a vampire.

30. Frodo is in general turmoil, not constipated. Stop feeding him berries, and shoving beans into his meals. And stop encouraging him to try relieving his pain at every bush we pass.

31. Stop copying his faces too.

32. You can't demand a daily wage, or better questing conditions. You will sleep on the ground and in the rain as the rest of us.

33. Aragon does not carry a Kill book, nor a slay list. And if he does, I assure that none of the fellowship is part of either (though certain folk might be added soon, should Arwen ever be mentioned again)

34. While we are all impressed you managed to get a few locks of Legolas' hair, you may not sell them claiming they have magical healing properties. Apologize….and give them back.

35. Also, return his clothing. Peregrin, why have we seen none of this stealth when actually required or even slightly helpful?

36. Yes, we all agree you two are excellent at drawing the enemy. Now stop doing so.

37. Faking dramatic deaths will not endear you to us. And we are all immune to it by now.

38. Holidays are not given off, nor travel time to return to the Shire and visit family. This would be a little counterproductive, would it not?

39. You cannot summon Saruman. Especially, not with the phrase "I choose you." What in Middle Earth were you even talking about?

40. I cannot bring stone statues to life to fight the enemy. Though, I am quite surprised you managed to scare them off.

41. Water skipping contests with the Leaves of Lorien are not appropriate uses. No, we do not care that they float.

Here are the next 20. Late, but here nonetheless.