A/N: Suggestive content, but no smut.

The tea was soothing, even if her temper wasn't quelled; as the biscuits disappeared one by one (despite formal afternoon tea earlier), Sio regaled in great detail about everything that had been plaguing her since her return, and her relationship with Adam had not been spared any harsh words.

"And I just don't get him! Like, god, are all men just that dense when it comes to feelings?!" She threw her hands into the air with frustration, nearly upsetting the teapot. "I swear, it feels like I'm talking to a brick wall sometimes; the moment I feel like I'm finally getting somewhere, he either shuts off completely, or else just says something stupid."

"Now now Sio, calm down," the blonde hastily maneuvered the cream and sugar out of the sniper's reach, should she accidentally knock those over as well. "While I do agree with you that men are complete morons when it comes to emotions, I think you're being a little too hard on the poor man…"

Sio raised an eyebrow, unconvinced. Jess winced at the callousness their normally-cheerful sniper was exhibiting, but she supposed it made sense; being a member of DOGOO was already stressful enough, nevermind her new role as a strategist and the loss of much of Oda Nobunaga's powers…then adding in all the stresses of a passionate, sometimes turbulently-so relationship…

"I know it's hard for you to see that right now, when you're all wound up and mad at everything in the world," the blonde calmly poured another cup for them, "but trust me when I say that you certainly aren't the only one who's suffering. Remember what I said about Adam being depressed?" A slight nod. "Yes; he misses you quite a bit; but, like any good leader, he can't let it show; when we're on the field of battle, he's Jack the Ripper, leader of Platoon 2–all those insecurities and doubts that he has as Adam Muirhead must remain hidden. And it does take its toll…"

Her heart gave a painful squeeze, but Sio willed her face to remain motionless. She knew logically that Adam was struggling to deal with their extended absences, just as she was…but that didn't mean he had to be an ass about it.

"I…I want to be happy with him. But I feel like, that's getting harder and harder now…" she whispered, absentmindedly scooting the scones around on her plate, suddenly not hungry anymore. "I don't know–sometimes I just feel so, snappish at him…like, doesn't he understand how stressful this is?! It'd be nice if he could show some appreciation for my efforts for us to be together once in a while, instead of just going 'oh I don't think you should go around abusing your powers'–"

Sio sighed and sank back into her seat, Jess giving her a pitying look. "…I wonder if this is payback for pushing him away, when my hair turned white…hah, well, I can't say it's undeserved. I was pretty cruel to him then, now that I think about it…"

"Sio! No, you can't think that–it's not like that at all," Jess rose from her seat in alarm, hurrying to the sniper's side. "Trust me, you cannot go down this path of thinking you're being punished or whatever you think you deserve–believe me, that isn't the reason at all." She shook her head sadly. "If anything, it'll destroy you both, like it almost did that time…and I know that's not what you two want."

"…No…"

"Think about it: being in DOGOO is hard enough to begin with. Add in the fact that we're e-gene holders to boot, and now that you're promoted, frankly I'm amazed none of us have gone completely insane." The older woman settled back into her seat across from Sio. "The point I'm trying to make is, life is already stressful and confusing enough on its own; add in all these factors, and arguments are inevitable. In fact, I'd say that arguments are actually proof that you two care about each other. It means you care enough about him to want and try to understand, to actually give a damn, instead of shrugging it off."

Sio nodded, hugging her knees to her chest. "You only hurt the ones you love the most…but I just wish it didn't have to be so painful…" Sighing, the sniper laid her head down on the table, feeling a headache coming on. "Well now what; everything's all awkward and weird and…bad between us again…"

"…I'm sorry dear, but a large part of being in a relationship means wading through those thick, murky struggles. Especially if they're painful. Otherwise, all those feelings and memories would be meaningless."

Sio turned those words around in her head. When she first developed a crush on Adam, she had no idea what she was getting herself into. All those shoujo manga and anime had always depicted romance as fun and carefree, with a completely understanding guy who would do anything for the heroine…too bad real life was a harsh slap in the face by comparison. And yet she could understand the truth behind those words, as well. For hadn't they bonded ever closer, her feelings deepened after each crisis they had overcome? A few months ago, she was still flustered about even visiting his room–and now it had become almost secondary, as ingrained into her life as breathing.

"…Beckham-san. Can I ask you something…personal?"

"Of course, dear."

The girl bit her lips nervously. She and the blonde has gotten a lot closer as time went by, the younger sniper viewing the woman as a sort of surrogate mom/older sister, but this was still pretty personal. Then again, her teammate had always emphasized the fact that she wanted to be there for Sio, so…

"Is…is this why you and Mahesh aren't…really together?" She waited for the inevitable scolding, the shock, but it didn't come. Instead, Jess looked at her with level eyes, deep in thought before she answered at last.

"…Well, I suppose that's part of it. Though, there are certainly other reasons as well… But, it wouldn't be a lie to say that, sometimes it is just easier to keep a more casual, looser connection instead of going all in like you and Adam are. Not that one's better than the other," Jess emphasized quickly, not wanting Sio to get the idea that she and Adam should downgrade to merely friends-with-benefits, "in fact, I actually envy the closeness and trust you share with Adam…"

"…I know I should be grateful, but somehow I just don't feel like it," Sio grumbled, curling up onto the seat. "God, I sound like a whiny teenager instead of a head strategist…"

"Uh, well, I hate to break it to you Sio, but you are still a teenager," Jess responded dryly. "As someone who's already gone through it, I can tell you it's anything but glamorous. But like everything else, it'll work itself out. Trust me."

Apparently, the Japanese schoolgirl wunderkind was capable of transforming her own arm into a gun and saving the world, but she couldn't express her own feelings if her life depended on it. Such irony. Heaving another sigh, she emptied the rest of her tea, and then finally decided that she probably shouldn't have yet another biscuit.

"I should probably go find Adam soon…and apologize…"

"Ow–fuck, that hurt…bloody hell…" Wincing, the pale-haired man withdrew his fist from the slightly-dented wall next to the door–not the first dent he'd made, but hopefully it would be the last. At least, for a long time yet… If Sio knew he was falling back into his self-harm habits…shaking his head, Adam cradled his bruised and battered hand, winding the bandages around with a practiced ease.

"Hmm…not sure the crew's going to appreciate yet another hole," a familiar voice drifted through the door as Adam snipped off the extra bandage, "though I suppose it's a lot better than it used to be–"

"–Get out."

"My, I haven't even said anything and you're already like this?" Mahesh wholeheartedly ignored the death glares Adam was giving him and instead pulled up a chair, inviting himself into their leader's room. "So, what happened this time?"

"Th' fuck's that supposed to mean…" Adam growled under his breath. Even though he hadn't said anything, it didn't take a genius to figure out what was going on. Sio's visit had been highly anticipated all morning, and now the fact that he was here all alone, and punching the wall to boot, was a sure sign that something was desperately wrong. "Why don't you mind your own goddamn business for a change, Mirza?"

"I could, but I won't. You know how it is," Mahesh plopped into the seat across from the Ripper, cool and collected as ever. "Spill; you're about to blow a gasket, and if you think I'm just going to stand by idly this time and pretend I didn't see anything, think again."

"What d'you mean by 'this time'…"

Dark eyes narrowed a bit, before the Indian sighed and opened his mouth. "…When Sio first became…distressed, I had thought…that you two could work it out. That Jess and I shouldn't become involved, because it wasn't any of our business. But we were wrong…terribly wrong…and I don't want that to happen again, in any capacity."

Adam wanted to toss back some snarky response, complete with dripping venom, but he bit his tongue down for once. Mirza was right…he knew, despite hating being in the wrong, that his friend had hit a very vital point. That time, when Sio had thought Asao was lost to her forever…he'd tried then, tried to get her to open up, but after receiving the cold shoulder so many times in a row, had all but given up.

And everybody knew how well that had ended up.

"…It's not her. Or I guess I should say, not just her," he heaved a sigh and buried his face in his now-bandaged hands, suddenly exhausted from the trials of everything. "…I'm a bloody moron. Not that it's news or anything…since when have I ever been good enough for her…"

"No. That's where you're wrong, Adam." It was unusual for Mahesh to get agitated at just about anything, and even rarer for him to be actually angry. The force behind his tone made even Adam look up. "This isn't about who's more 'worthy' or any of that bullshit–the way I see it, you two were meant for each other. And that includes the fights, the arguments, the whole messy package. I've seen how happy she is whenever you two are together…and you're much less of an arse around her. You can't have one thing without the other, Adam."

Light and dark. Or two sides of the same coin. He should know this concept by heart now, especially given the duality of his own e-gene. So why was it that, even after nearly killing her and being torn apart, he still hadn't quite learned his lesson?

"…Spare me the lecture, Mirza. I'm not exactly in the mood…"

"You're never in the mood. Or I should say, you might not be in this predicament if you would just bloody talk about shit for once, instead of bottling it up like you always do." Mahesh shot back, no longer afraid to confront the Ripper. "I know you don't do emotions; hell, I'm probably the worst person to be lecturing you on this…but I can't just silently watch you two fall apart for a second time."

He was about to bite back with another acidic retort, but something inside held him back. Maybe it was Nightingale, maybe it was just his own subconscious. Or maybe it was because the Indian's words were finally starting to make somewhat of a crack in that steel-encased shell around his heart, that had been beaten and battered over the years until it became the nearly-impenetrable wall it was now. In any case, he knew Mirza was right; avoiding each other was not the answer.

"If I go talk t' her…will you please get the fuck out?"

"Such language Adam…but sure, why not. It's not like I have any choice–I can tell you're just looking for an excuse to plant one right in my face," the Indian retorted, but did get up from his seat. "But you'd better be serious about doing right by her; remember, I have a built-in bullshit detector, and I will use it," he warned, casting the silver-haired man one more serious glance, before taking his leave at last.

"Tch…wanker." Still, there weren't any other courses of action left; Sio's time left aboard the A. Logan was limited only to this weekend, and he'd already wasted more than a third of it by being a complete cunt for no other reason than this messy little thing called emotions. Ah hell, who was he kidding; Mirza had seen straight through everything the moment he'd come barging in. Before Sio, before DOGOO even–they were something that he'd mostly kept hidden away, only for his mother and maybe one or two close friends, and even then if the occasion was right.

Being an outsider his whole life had made him learn the hard way that emotions were a danger; a risk to compromise everything you did, and so sometimes it was simply easier to just hide them away, deep down where nobody could find it. You wouldn't feel much of course–but conversely, it would be harder for others to hurt you.

How was he supposed to have known that all it would take was a single girl and a chance meeting for that wall that he'd so meticulously built over the years to come crashing down?

Love. Courage. Fear. Vulnerability. So many new feelings and emotions, all at once and never-ending–the moment Adam consciously realized he might actually have some sort of feelings for the new rookie, nothing was ever the same again. It was so overwhelming that there were times it felt like he was suffocating, crushed under just how intensely he was feeling them: the fear of rejection, the thrill of how she would always respond to his teasings or even the slight guilt he felt when he touched himself at night, his thoughts consumed with nothing but her as he writhed, wondering what her hands would feel like instead of his own.

But even his wildest imaginations could not have prepared him for what reality became; every joy and every pain magnified a hundred times over, until he wondered if there would ever be a time where he'd achieve some sort of equilibrium. The first period of absence after she'd recovered and was immediately sent off to the main base was more akin to torture; he'd felt like a drug addict going through withdrawal, searching for every trace of her in his room, however faint they were. Being sent into the field dulled the pain, but it was more the result of being too exhausted to think than actually filling the hole.

No, enough was enough. There was nothing more left to be gained by berating himself and punching walls–hadn't they come farther than that already? If he really cared about Sio, then he could swallow his pride for the time being and apologize.

His feet where moving in the direction of her room before he knew it.

"Man, why do I always say dumb shit like that…argh…" Mumbling to herself, the sniper dragged her feet slowly through the halls, a feeling of dread at the awkward confrontation that would no doubt take place, yet the guilt of not doing anything felt even worse. Jess had sent her off with a few words of encouragement, but it all seemed so far away now as she wandered the ship by herself. Somehow it all sounded so neat in her head: explain to him calmly that she just wanted to make more time for them, listen to his side of the story, and the two of them would work it out.

Too bad real life never turned out the way she would have liked.

In hindsight she shouldn't have been surprised, but that didn't stop her from letting out a yelp anyway as they collided around the corner, the sniper nearly falling over had it not been for Adam's quick reflexes, reaching out and catching her just in time.

"Ow–u-uh, Adam–!"

"Watch where you're–oh, Sio…"

"…Sorry, I should've been paying attention…"

A grunt. "…No, I'm…sorry…"

The two stared at the ground and their feet in an awkward silence. Why did this always happen to her? Was there just some inexplicable force up there that prevented her from experiencing one non-awkward moment in her life?

"S, Sorry…I, I-I didn't mean to be so…bitchy earlier…I just–"

"–Let's not talk out here." And before she knew it, he was automatically steering her to his room, the door sealing itself as she stood stiffly to the side, unsure if she was even allowed to sit on his couch or bed or…whatever.

"…You can take a seat, you know," he muttered, gesturing slightly to the bed. "Or I don't know, stand if you want…"

That prickly feeling in her chest rose again, overtaking her guilt. Gods, men really did suck when it came to feelings. "Well, since you're offering…" And without a second thought, she plopped onto his neatly-made bed, eyes still not meeting his.

"…I'm sorry for being a bitch, okay?" The instant those words left her mouth Sio winced; that was not how that phrase was supposed to sound when she'd composed it in her head.

Apparently, Adam felt similarly, judging by the way his head swung around, a rather irritated expression on his face. "Would you stop blaming yourself? I never said you were a bitch; if anything, your feelings are…justifiable."

Sio merely grunted in response, hugging her knees to her chest. "Yeah, w, well…I-I, I…" She what? Was desperately sorry? Wanted him to stop being mad at her? Didn't mean to hurt his feelings? The words and emotions were getting all mixed up inside her head, but she couldn't seem to find her voice.

"I-I…I just…"

"…What, Sio. Just say it, all right? I'm not a mindreader, despite my abilities…" Adam huffed impatiently, arms crossed as he leaned against the wall. "If there's anything you want to tell me, then now's the time."

"…Why are you being so mean?! God, you're horrible sometimes, you know?" So much for calm, diplomatic apologies; Adam's irritable attitude towards her was the straw that broke the camel's back, and instead of telling him how bad she'd felt, she blurted out the first thing that came to mind.

That certainly caught him off guard, perhaps even moreso than her sudden departure earlier. Eyes wide in shock, sputtering wordlessly as he searched for a response–if there even was one–before a queer sort of grimace stretched across his face, as if he was trying not to laugh but also angry at her.

"I–what–I can't even with you sometimes–"

"S, Stop making fun of me! I'm serious!" But the more she protested, the wider that strange grin was growing on her face, despite the fact that Sio was not at all amused. "A-Adaam…! You bastard…"

"Oy now, you're the one calling others names, squirt," he retorted, forcing the smile down. "Tch, you really are still a brat, promotions notwithstanding. Like throwing a wobbler; what are you, five?"

Normally such remarks would've just been brushed off with amused irritation, but Sio was already extremely hurt and on edge. She really was being serious when she'd accused him of being mean; was it so much for him to be calm and patient with her for once?

"I hate you Adam! I'm trying to be serious here, but if you're just going to, to make fun of me, then forget it!" Wiping her tears angrily, she threw the pillow in his face before attempting to storm out the door, but Adam grabbed her before she could leave. "Goddammit, let me go–!"

"No." The tone had switched again, from strangely amused to dead serious in the span of a few seconds, Sio freezing up in his grip. "…I'm the one who's sorry, Sio. I…I didn't mean to make light of your feelings."

She gave him the silent treatment for a few more minutes. Oh, so now he was sorry? Yeah right; if he thought he could get away with it by being all nice and patient when it really mattered…

"…Sio. Please. I, I…" The grip shifted and she felt herself being wound tighter in his grasp, and even though usually she relished being held by him, this time it made her feel uneasy. "…I don't know how to act or even feel around you sometimes. You…you make me feel so many different things; I've never experienced them before. So I don't know…what to do sometimes. I…" He sighed into her hair, nuzzling it slightly. "Heh, now that I think about it, teasin' yeh 's probably a bad move on my part…but I can't help it; you're so serious all the time now, I…to see you act like how you were, even if a bit childish…it makes me glad. I'm happy to know that you haven't changed completely…from the girl I fell in love with…"

She stilled, taking in his words. Why was it that he was only ever sincere when pushed up against the wall like this… "…You know, you could've just said this from the start. When I asked you to be honest with me…this, is what I mean. Telling me how you feel; because I, I…" Her voice wobbled again, but she willed herself not to cry. "I want to understand you more, too…you're important to me, Adam…maybe even the most important now…"

"I could say the same t' you…I've missed you all this time; perhaps it's selfish and wrong of me to admit it, but…I, was hoping you'd feel the same." Those arms tightened a bit more, the same time Sio's fingers grasped deeper against the fabric of his sleeves. "To know that you missed me as I much as I did you…because sometimes, I–," and he released his grip just as suddenly, his voice an oddly husky tone that, if Sio didn't know any better, sounded like he was about to cry.

"…Adam. What is it."

His brows were furrowed so deeply, it was as if he was suffering some internal torture. But a few seconds later he seemed to have composed himself, if only slightly.

"…Sometimes I'm afraid…that I'm the only one in love…"

It was so quiet that she might've missed it, but her sharp ears picked up every word. "Wha…what do you mean?" It wasn't as if she never had doubts about where this relationship might be headed–maybe it was just a fling, maybe they would move on after the war–but such thoughts were becoming less and less now, and slowly being replaced by the solidity that they would be together, no matter what ended up happening. "What…what are you talking about? A-Are you saying y-you…you, don't think I…love you?"

Adam looked like she'd just stabbed him straight in the heart, and perhaps she had; or at the very least, her words did. "No…or rather, not…exactly." Now it was his turn to look uncomfortable, as if regretting being open in the first place. "…There are times that I fear…that I love you too much…"

"…and you're afraid that I don't love you as much. That's it, isn't it?" Sio was strangely calm as she finished the sentence for him, Adam unable to respond with anything other than a slight nod. "Sou ka."

Slowly she walked over to him, and without another word, embraced him tightly around the waist, feeling the warmth from his body and breathing in his scent. "Then, I'll tell you; Adam, I love you. Maybe I haven't really said it enough…or, maybe even ever…but it's true." Her voice started cracking but Sio made no efforts control it. "You're the most important person to me…and honestly, I can't imagine being without you…so, I'm sorry…if I haven't been showing it as much as you have…but believe me, I–!"

Strong hands were cupping both sides of her face, Sio finding herself staring into two brilliantly green eyes that were on the verge of tears themselves. "I know; I believe you…because I love you." He touched their foreheads lightly together and she felt something wet trickle down her cheek. "But sometimes I think it's because I love you so much that…I doubt myself…"

Sio's heart felt heavy and tight; poor Adam, suffering from his own insecurities and fears. What right did she have to complain that her situation was worse? Yet it did frustrate her, that no matter how much she tried it didn't seem to do much to reassure him that truly, her dream was to live a life together with him, after all this.

"B-But…what do you want me to do?" She cried helplessly, frustrated at her inability to solve this problem. "I don't understand…how to help you; that's why I told you, I wanted to see you more…"

He was silent for so long that Sio wasn't sure if he was angry or still thinking; until she found herself being lifted all of a sudden and then put onto the bed, her mind too shocked at the sudden change in atmosphere until his lips were already hungrily consuming hers.

"Mmrph?! A-Adam–mmph–wh-what's going, on?!" She managed to hold him back for a few seconds, panting for breath as she stared into deeply-darkened emeralds.

"You asked what it is you can do…but for me, it's not a matter of what you should or shouldn't do; I just want to know, that I can have you…that, I need you," he whispered huskily, a tone of great urgency and longing in his words that Sio couldn't help but shiver.

"Y-Yeah okay, b-b-b-but, this, this is kinda, sudden…?" Talk about a complete 180; one moment they were engaged in a serious discussion at the nature of their relationship, and the next he was all over her like an animal in heat. "…Are you sure you're okay?"

"…I will be," There was another brush against the underside of neck and she squirmed, "that is, if you'll let me."

"I-I, b-but…" Sio wasn't sure how to respond; if she didn't know any better, she would've just accused him of being horny and wanting sex after not seeing her for so long, but his tone of voice and words told her otherwise.

'This isn't just some typical make-up sex or whatever…there's something going on inside of him…'

Her internal thoughts were a mess; she wanted to find out what was troubling Adam, but she guiltily did want to spend some intimate time with him as well; just, not at the same time.

"L-Listen, Adam…I, I don't think this is a good idea…"

He stopped suddenly, breathing heavily against her neck but he was listening.

"I-I…look, I'm not gonna lie–I really want to spend some time with you too, especially since it's been so long…b-but, this is just too sudden–I mean, after all that and you–you're, acting a little strange…" Her maroons furrowed as she stroked his bangs. "I'm worried about you…"

"…I'm sorry." And then he pulled off, leaving her blinking and confused, lying on top of crumpled sheets as he buttoned up his shirt and straightened his collar and then slipped out the door, all without another word.

"…What the hell just happened here?"