A/N: Wow! I didn't expect anyone to review this fic because I thought people would not be interested in these kinds of stuff. I'm extremely happy to those that reviewed the first chapter. This is the second chapter and I hope that all of you will enjoy it!
Warnings: Mentions of stuffs and shounen-ai which is boyxboy. If you are not into these kinds of stuff I suggest you turn away now.
MONKEY D. LUFFY Owner's Guide and Manual
CONGRATULATIONS! You are now the proud and lucky (except when it comes to food) owner of a MONKEY D. LUFFY unit! This unit comes with an owner's guide and manual because you will need it to unlock the full potential (and how to deal with him) of this rubbery and enthusiastic captain!
Technical Specifications:
Name: Monkey D. Luffy (he will also respond to 'Luffy-chan', 'Captain', 'Strawhat' and most definitely 'Meat')
Age: 17 years old (Our manufactures are still working on the two year later version)
Place of manufacture: The Blue Sea, East Blue division, Foosha Village branch
Height: 172 cm but remember, he is rubber so his height may be taller than your house?
Weight: Unknown
Length: He is rubber. Enough said.
Personality: Fearlessness, Lacking in Knowledge, Easily amazed
Specialty: A devil's fruit user (Gomu Gomu No Mi)
Your MONKEY D. LUFFY unit comes with the following accessories:
One straw hat (NEVER, EVER forcibly take the hat away. That just spells trouble with a capital T)
A closet full of sleeveless red vests, short trousers, sandals and a variety of colorful shirts and one-piece dresses for a fangirl's dream come true.
The Davy Back Fight attire which includes an afro, a pair of dark red shorts, red bandages for his feet and a stickable blue flaming skull and crossbones to stick on his well built chest.
A set of stickable scars to stick on your unit if you want to make him look more intimidating
A pair of SHANKS and PORTGAS D. ACE's unit attires for those who wants to cosplay him.
If you call now or reserved a set two weeks ahead of time, we will throw in a special limited edition jet black cape for your unit to wear. The cape also comes with self-fluttering-dramatically action to make your unit look more badass.
Unfortunately, our stock for emergency meat is temporarily out. If you wish to still receive this, call us and we will give you a rain check.
How to Remove:
Removing the unit is relatively easy. All you have to do is watch him struggle for a bit, put some food (preferably meat) in front of him and the chains that hold him would snap like twigs. He will devour the food in a few seconds before grinning at you and giving you a bear hug which would probably kill a bear as a greeting.
Programming:
To program him is also quite simple. Again, place food in front of him and just program him while he is devouring the food. You would be surprised at all the amazing features that the unit has.
Captain: This is your unit's default feature. Even though he is not really good at anything in general, he makes a great captain for rubber ducks, inanimate objects and people who lacked common sense. The RORONOA ZORO unit, for example. (Warning, do not let him be the captain of rubber ducks alone because your unit would probably drown in the bathtub)
Big brother: Though you would probably still be much more mature and intelligent even if you're younger than him that does not stop your unit from trying to become a good big brother. Do not be angry if he suddenly gives you a death hug. Also, he will make anyone who makes his precious younger sibling cry pay very dearly.
Bodyguard: In terms of strength, you have nothing to worry about. If somehow you managed to become a wanted target by snipers (seriously, if that happens you must be as crazy as your unit), do not be alarm as your unit's body can deflect any bullet whizzing your way. Just make sure your unit is there to protect you as he can be distracted by anything that moves.
Best friend: Your unit would make an awesome best friend that the both of you could goof off and do something generally stupid. Though, just don't let him raid your fridge if you still want something to eat for the next week or so.
Boyfriend: He does in fact make a pretty good boyfriend. If your unit can't intimidate other boyfriends with looks, you can make him intimidate them by showing him stretching certain parts of his body. No doubt they would be intimidate and insanely jealous at your unit. Girls would also wish that they had someone like your unit as their boyfriend. (You can have our word for it. This has been proven by our manufacturers. They almost regretted giving him the rubber abilities) When out on dates, avoid restaurants at ALL COSTS. If not, you will spend the night washing dishes.
Pig-out Partner: Need a partner to eat with you in all those food eating contest and couldn't find someone who could chow fast enough? Then the unit is your perfect choice! You and your unit will blaze through the other competitors and your unit may demand more food afterwards. Take note that your unit will eat more than you so a damaged pride may occur.
Punching Bag: Imagine yourself suddenly angered for some reason (maybe NAMI or ZORO unit is badmouthing you) and you want something you could hit the heck out without causing any real harm. The LUFFY unit would make a great punching bag! Just tie his arms and legs to the ceiling and start venting out that anger.
Your MONKEY D. LUFFY unit comes with the following modes:
Cheerful, eccentric and adventurous mode (default)
Hunger mode (default and constantly on)
Hell-did-you-do mode (locked)
Get-ready-for-serious-ass-kicking mode (locked)
Heck-I'm-the-seme-Captain's-order mode (locked)
Blushing-willing-uke mode (locked)
Out of Character mode (locked)
The Cheerful, eccentric and adventurous mode is his default mode because that is just how he is. Don't be surprised if you found him exploring your room.
Hunger mode is also his default mode and unfortunately (for you anyway. We already sold it to you. He's your problem now) it does not have an off switch. Beware as a hungry LUFFY unit is whiny LUFFY unit.
The Hell-did-you-do mode is unlocked when someone insults you, the SHANKS, PORTGAS D. ACE and THE STRAWHAT CREWS unit or someone (pray that it is not you who was stupid enough) that took the last piece of food. (Run, run while you still can)
The Get-ready-for-serious-ass-kicking mode is triggered when someone is endangering you or the people that he cares. It can also be triggered when someone just signed his or her own death warrant by taking the last piece of meat. (Biggest. Idiot. EVER.)
Heck-I'm-the-seme-Captain's-order mode is triggered when either the NAMI, ZORO or PORTGAS D. ACE unit is in the opposite mode. He would seduce them by using that 'Captain's order' tone. For those who already have the NAMI unit, she would probably have taught you the potential black mailing material available (except when it is about her)
As for the Blushing-willing-uke mode, it is triggered when the ZORO, PORTGAS D. ACE or SHANKS unit is in the opposite mode. Be prepared for death by loss of blood or maybe uke overload.
Out of Character mode is unlocked when the ZORO, SANJI and SHANKS unit is in the opposite mode. It will also be triggered when the unit has been derived from food for a day.
Caring for the unit:
Eating: Do we need to say it? He will inhale ANYTHING edible but he would prefer (and demand) meat, meat and oh wait, it's on the tip our tongue…meat. Did we say meat? I think we said meat. Do not give him alcohol though as this unit was not equipped with an insane alcohol tolerance like the ZORO and NAMI unit.
Cleaning: The unit is pretty good (at least a bit better than the ZORO unit) at caring for himself but you will be the one who has to give a bath as he is a Devil-fruit user. Don't worry though; he does not make a fuss when he is swimming in water and unconsciousness so bathing him would be particularly easy.
Resting: This unit will need at least eight to ten hours of sleep. He does not really take naps as he is always busy searching for an adventure in day time, unlike a certain green-haired unit.
If your unit is attacked by viruses: If your unit is attacked by viruses, like the other units he will suffer to something similar to a cold. He will be extremely whiny and clingy so call us quickly at-1-800-Eiichiro Oda and we will send you the anti-virus software.
His Relationship with the Other Units:
PORTGAS D. ACE: This unit is the LUFFY's unit older brother, not from the same division but they act like brothers. Do not badmouth about this unit or else you will get a one way ticket to hell (saves you the trouble actually. You die on the way there) Leave them alone long enough and you will get worthy fangirl pictures that can be sold at high prices.
SHANKS: This unit is like your unit's father figure. Losing an arm in order to save the unit prior to sales, the LUFFY unit extremely looks up to him and respects him. If you value your crown jewels, do not insult the SHANKS unit. A quick reminder, never let the SHANKS unit alone with the LUFFY unit after a party. Who knows what yaoi-fangirls dream would come true.
RORONOA ZORO: This unit is your unit's loyal first mate. He will follow whatever you unit orders and will get rewards by him afterwards. When we said that he is loyal to you unit, we really mean it. (Warning, stay away from the spare bedroom at nights if you do not want to be mentally scarred for life) If you want some violence, put LUFFY unit in Blushing-willing-uke mode and put the ZORO unit and SANJI unit in the opposite mode. Take a comfortable folding chair, some popcorn and enjoy the show.
THE STRAWHAT CREW SET: This play set is like your unit's happy, dysfunctional family. He is thought of as the second youngest sibling in the family. He is also thought of as the biggest troublemaker that you would probably expect the neighbors to complain about.
FAQ's:
Q: Instead of a LUFFY unit, I got an older , smexier looking version of LUFFY unit that has a tattoo and is wearing a different hat!
A: Congratulations! You have received the PORTGAS D. ACE unit. If you still want to exchange, call us and we will be happy to make the exhange.
Q: Instead of a tall, black haired teen, I got a mini vision of him! What happened?
A: Congratulations! That is the kid's version of the LUFFY unit! He is from our kids' line. If you still want to make exchange, call us now.
Q: Why did I get a unit wearing a BRIDE'S DRESS? COMPLETE WITH LACE AND WHAT NOT?
A: Congratulations! (We've been doing that a lot lately) You have received the LUFFY unit from our wedding's line! Do you really want to exchange him?
Troubleshooting:
Problem: My unit ACTUALLY offered me his FOOD! What's wrong?
Answer: Hmm…Either the unit is in Out of Character mode or he has been attacked by a virus.
Problem: My unit just jumped at me!
Answer: Where will the wedding be held?
Problem: Help! My unit is suddenly torturing me!
Answer: Tell us what kinds of flowers that you like and we will send them at your funeral.
Problem: I can't breathe because the unit is hugging me to death!
Answer: You had it coming at you when you first bought the unit, you know. Just pray that he will be distracted at some point and release you.
That is your complete guide to the MONKEY D. LUFFY unit. We hope that you will enjoy your unit and make sure that you keep you unit satisfied. Unfortunately, this guide does not tell you on how to cover for the food expenses so we wish you the best of luck because gods know you will need it.
What do you think so far? Is the character, well in character? I won't upload regularly because school is coming up and I have important exams this year. Reviews and constructive criticism is most welcome. Please enjoy!